Cute story, but I agree with the one who said it was too fast moving. I think if you didn't rush it and took yourself a little better time to explore the characters and the plot generally, it could be really interesting. You should never be in a rush when telling a story, it never turns out for the better ;) You could easily have written 10-15 chapters more with a little effort, and your story would definitely not suffer from it.

I didn't like that you borrowed so much from the Titanic movie in the James/Mia storyline either, the idea is good and to come up with original plotlines shouldn't be that hard.

But keep writing, though, you show promise in many of your stories, including this one :)

Author's Response: Thank you for your constructive critisism. If you check the dates, you'll see that I actually wrote this quite awhile ago. I've considered rewriting this story, but just haven't felt up to it. My other work has improved greatly, if I do say so myself.

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That was super good!!! It migt have been better if it wasnt as fast moving though!!

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you like it despite that!

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i really liked the story!!! it was really sweet and sad. Rose/Jack will live on in a whole new way threw James/Mia, and Scorpius/Rose

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it!

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This story has changed a lot in nine chapters. Hhehe. But anyway. I knew Sophie had something to do with the story!

Author's Response: Haha, yeah I did have a purpose with Sophie

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I had no idea that was going to happen. I love it though, but the grandma could be a little more emotional.

Author's Response: Yeah, after re-reading that I'd agree with you. I think I was kind of going for her putting on a strong face for Sophie, you know?

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I am starting to get goosebumps.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review

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Oh shit is the exact statement i would say too!

Author's Response: Haha, yeah.

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I like it, but the only problem with this is that it is moving too fast. At least for me it is. I think it is more teenagey love then rose/jack love was. If you get what I'm saying?

Author's Response: Yeah, I do. I'm glad you like it though. I've been working on my writing a lot over the past couple of years, and the pace of stories has been something I've worked on.

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It is getting better.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review

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Wow... Good job.. I missed what class mia is in?

Author's Response: Thanks. I think second, but I'm not sure. I wrote this a while ago..

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I think that you left out some details, but I still like it. If this wasn't already completed I would tell you to put more details in it though. how did the waiter person know that they were in third class? they could have well been in second right?

Author's Response: Yeah, I know what you mean.

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I really liked it, but yes it was rushed, but i still love this idea. If you know what I mean. Harry potter character on the Titanic.

Author's Response: Yeah, I think if were to re-write this now I'd be able to do alot better. I think I wrote this like two years ago, so...

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Very nice story. I loved how you entwined the Titanic story in there. I also enjoyed having Mia come back to life, well reincarnate in her great neice, and still fall in love with James. Very nice way of putting it all together. The only thing that I found to criticize would be a few gramatical errors such as the usage of "you're" instead of "your". Other than that very nice story.

Author's Response: Yeah, I realize that's been an error I've had in a lot of my stories, but in the time since I wrote this I've improved quite a lot.

Otherwise I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing!

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nice story glad u commited 2 finishing it lol

Author's Response: Thanks, and I'm glad you commited to reading it, lol.

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okay i liked the bit with the chick that was related to mia that was a good idea

Author's Response: Thanks, glad you liked that part, I actually almost cut it out.

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sorry hate to be a bitch but i hated that chapter it was stupid mia died though that was a plus no offense

Author's Response: Everyone's entitled to their own opinion, I guess.

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im sorry but i think mia and james are stupid

Author's Response: It's okay. They're not the most loveable couple I've ever written about to say the least.

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ah ha! now it gets good

Author's Response: yep.
Thanks for reading.

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hmmm...rose scorpious good james mia bad

Author's Response: If you think about it, it's not even really Mia's fault. Just James, really.

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gr james in big trouble.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading.

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im not liking this mia...james is annoying 2 lol

Author's Response: Mia's just...a danger to all of their lives, I think that's why most people don't like her. And James is a stupid boy who fell for a girl.

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yer this stories cool cept i dont gte the separation and having luggage and tickets...still good though lol silly james just lik his grandpa

Author's Response: I guess that's one of those things I didn't completely think through all the way :(
Thanks for reading!

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o titanic this cud be trouble lol

Author's Response: Yep.
Thanks for reading!

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Interesting idea but very confusing. Why can they get a timeturner? Where was it? Why would it not be in the DoM? It just doesn't make any sense. It wouldhave been better if one of their parents were using it for work and they nicked it. They could have been near where the titanic launched anyway and have decided to go. They also wouldn't have had to have known that it would crash. Really, they've all grown up in the magic world, the titanic wouldn't be common knowledge.

The class prediciment is interesting, but having all girls 1st class is a bit odd. Why not have them all a different class?

They also act a bit oddly. Their characters aren't padded out very well.

Also, James falling in "love" so fast is just plain weird. There is no progression, no interest first... Let alone the other reaction to it. So he likes a girl, why is everyone going so nuts over it? It doesn't mean diddly squat, why would Rose want to wake someone up, is she really so impulsize. Does she really have such little control?

Your characters just seem too emotive, so over the top that it feels unbelievable.

Author's Response: You raise some interesting points. It feels like so long ago I wrote this and I feel like it's so different from the way I write now, because now I write original stuff and I'm much happier with it.

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I think the story was just amazing - although there were some repetitive bits in the middle. All the characters were great and the plot was a twist and very interesting I enjoyed it, I also liked the fact that there were the original children, there aren't many stories with them in them. So your story is totally original and I LOVED it! keep writing stuff, and im adding this story to favourites 10/10!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! It means a lot that you like it. I know that some of it was kinda repetative, but yeah. Thanks!

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