29 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Argus MacGonagall Chapter 7 Another Letter

14th August 2012:
I have already left several reviews, but this is one chapter that I hadn't yet. I love the story. The only improvement I would say you can make is TO CONTINUE IT. It's been what, 3 years now since your last installation. This is too good to leave people hanging

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Review #2, by Bluejay Chapter 9 Hieging Place

9th November 2011:
This story is so awesome.
I love Nate and Lorelei.

Author's Response: Yes, and everyone should know it and all shall love Nate and Lorelei!

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Review #3, by Illuminate Chapter 1 The Notebook Paper Rejection

2nd July 2011:
Hi there! Here for your very long overdue requested reviews!

I really liked this opening chapter, you have introduced a very interesting premise. I like the idea of other schools around the world, as we don't really know a lot about them. Your characterisation is also good, Ron, Harry, McGonagall, Ginny etc are all realistic and familiar, so good job on that.

If I had to criticise anything it would be to say that you should probably use less capital letters in order to emphasize outrage. That's what italics are for. Also, I think you could also use a Beta reader to smooth out the chapter in certain places where it flows a little too quickly.

But other than that, I really enjoyed this opening chapter! Feel free to re-request!

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Review #4, by Argus MacGonagall Chapter 3 Bernie's 24-Hour Waffle Hut

8th March 2011:
I couldn't help but wonder that your story info says last update and last published chapter on March 1, but it still only shows 9 chapters. What's up?

Still, good writing.

Author's Response: I have been adding chapter images, and really any edit becomes an 'update'.

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Review #5, by ravenclaw_princess Chapter 9 Hieging Place

5th March 2011:
Once again, you have written an excellent chapter. I don't have much more to add, except that I really like the dialogue and I find some of the thoughts of Nate quite witty and amusing. You really have characterised both Nate and Lorelei really well and they way they are has been very consistent through out. Just their thoughts and reactions and way they talk.

It's apparent that you have put a lot of thought into this story and it really shows. You are a really good writer. Well done :D

Author's Response: Yes, I was certainly going for Nate and Lorelei behing as close as two friends could be. I'm am glad you've enjoyed the story, though.

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Review #6, by ravenclaw_princess Chapter 8 The Biting Envelopes

5th March 2011:
Hello. This was quite a good chapter and it was full of details and the story is progressing along nicely. It is flowing nicely together and the pace is good, I haven't felt like it's been dragging at all.

I really like how you weave in the little bits around Harry's home life, it's a nice touch.

I noticed one thing in the first paragraph "They had though it would have meant they would either wait until Monday —Tuesday in New York City" I'm pretty sure it is meant to read Sunday in New York City.

Author's Response: Yeah, you're right. That international timeline is confusing.

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Review #7, by LovelyMioneWeasley Chapter 3 Bernie's 24-Hour Waffle Hut

4th March 2011:
All righty--final chapter and it was a doozy but a really lovely one to read about as well!! I just wanted to thank you for coming back and requesting from my review thread. I really do like to read new and interesting plotlines; ones that have depth and lack cliches. But I know whenever I see you request that its going to be original, its going to be quality, and I'm going to enjoy it. So thank you.

So, this chapter didn't seem as long as the last one but I think that it might have even been longer or at least close to the same length. I think the difference is plot and character introduction. You introduced a few new characters but the fit and flow was very tight and good so it didn't seem overwhelming. You did it very effectively this time.

Now, I really liked Vanessa and Chantal. They are a) believable New Yorkers (and Americans) b) believable characters and c) believable witches. So well done on all accounts. Bernie's 24-Hour Waffle Hut made me seriously chuckle. It was a rather brilliant little idea.

And Chantal's speech about crazy homeless people was sad but true; it also made me chuckle a bit because of Ron's clear attentive nature and I could just see the word "blimey" drifting over his face.

My only reccomendation would be giving a bit more description; there is a lot of dialogue and information processing but I'd love to see you add in some sensory details like how maybe Ron and Harry respond to the seedy smell of New York or the nervous sweat on Nate's brow. Its just something small that could help enhance the story.

It is really entertaining and amusing to read; your humor is sprinkled throughout just adding a smile to my face as I read. Well done on all accounts.


Author's Response: You know, I have appealed to a lot of senses in my stories, but it never occured to me that I could use smell as well. Thanks for the suggestion!

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Review #8, by LovelyMioneWeasley Chapter 2 Three Weeks Time

4th March 2011:
Never come back here!”<

Nate had learned he could get through this time with the occasional “uh-huh” and “nuh” while focusing his mind on something else.<

Just some typos added on in the end---when you have nothing else to add into the queue and want to fix it. Its not major but just a formatting issue I thought you might want to be aware of.

So, this was definitely a long chapter but for the most part, I think it worked. I really liked the entire beginning with Robards and Harry. Harry's slight defiance against authority (stupidity in authority) came out a bit but I thought it was a good kickback to the kid we saw at Hogwarts. It helps emphasize the point that we still retain a bit of ourselves even as we grow and change.

I also liked the anger and frustration that Harry had about his big mouth and about dragging Ron along with him. Ginny was probably my favorite in the scene; her understanding but fiery nature definitely came out. Well done.

Now, my really favorite part of the chapter was understanding Nate Rivers. He was a totally fun character and I really loved how you really gave a full introspection of his character at least for the beginning. The explanation for why he didn't head off to magic school was the best; it is a real responsiblty that I am sure other kids have turned down over the years. Props to you for realistic characters.

My only complaint is that it was a very, very long chapter. I think you could have excluded some of the bit with Graham and Nate because it was a long of introduction to characters to make in the first chapter with them. It was a bit overwhelming for me as a reader.


Author's Response: Yeah, this chapter was a little on the long side, but I'm glad you like Nate. I hope it will be enough to convince you to do more reviews in the future.

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Review #9, by LovelyMioneWeasley Chapter 1 The Notebook Paper Rejection

4th March 2011:
Hi there--

Sorry to be so late with reviews but I've been caught up in RL and it really hasn't been forgiving but I skedaddled over as quickly as I could.

First off, my favorite moment had to be Ron, recogininzg that the letters spelled out S-H-A-M. I really giggled and I could just see Rupert Grint doing that entire little scene in my head. It was very believable Ron character and I thought it was interesting and awesome that you included that.

It seems like a very intriguing beginning and its pretty believable; Harry running late, Ginny mostly wearing the pants, Ron freaking out about (a most likely pregnant) Hermione, and all the while, there is something brewing under the surface that catches Harry's attention. He's the kind of guy that will get caught up in something like that so it is believable.

The entire exchange between McGonagall and the boys seemed fine and everyone was in character, but I'm just not sure about them calling her Professor and her calling them by their first name. I guess I never really thought about how that conversation would go, but honestly, it weirded me a bit. I don't think its that it is out character or anything but I just found it all. But calling them Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley seemed okay in my head but then she referred to Ginny and Hermione. And I had no issue with her calling the girls by their names. I dunno...o_O I'm odd.

"Some, yes," "Others are just labeled as 'people of interest'--the formatting here is odd. Just maybe warrants a lookover since it is the same person talking.

Overall, I thought you did a really good job with the start; I thought you gave enough to keep the reader interested and engaged and using Malfoy to introduce it explained what was going on with the reader without it seeming ridiculous.


Author's Response: Thank you for the kind review.

I'm find myself conflicted about the exchange between Ron, Harry, and McGonnagal. I just think back to after I graduated, I still called all my teachers 'Mr' and 'Mrs'. I'm 23 now, and Harry's about that age in the book, and from everything I've heard, British students are a lot more formal than American ones.

NO ONE called us 'Mr', 'Miss', or just our last names.

And about the wives, maybe I should reword that, but I know she wouldn't be calling them Weasley and Granger anymore.

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Review #10, by searching4neverland Chapter 5 The Macalister Girls

3rd March 2011:
Hi there, its me again. Loved chapter 4-5 because of all the Lorelei and Rea that they had in them. I find it funny how Nate has this amazing brain when it comes to causing ruckus all over the place, but he cant understand Loreleis relationship with her little sister and the reason behind all the protectiveness. That was an interesting paragraph you had there, by the way. I like how you show someones life through someone elses eyes. It was a different perspective. Not to mention that it spoke volumes about what kind of home Lorelei and her sister live in.

"Because as soon as I do, Mom will tell Dad, and Dad will tell Carter, and Carter will be on my ass like white on rice." - loved this line, sooo awesome!

The diary passage was one of the things that got my attention most. People hardly realize that when you really do write a diary, sometimes the things you put in it wouldnt really makes sense to a strangers eye.

Like I said, I really liked going inside Loreleis house. It seemed to me that the way her flat was decorated is really the way those two girls live their lives. The concept of them as a different universe, completely apart from their mother is really interesting. I would like to know more about their mother thought and the reason behind the neglect. Right now it feels like that part of the girls life is a bit underdeveloped, comparing to everything else.

"... trying in vain to fend off the smashing blows of a bat wielded by a girl swinging as though she were going for a record." - OMG I laughed so hard at this, it was unbelievable. The entire scene actually! Definition of awesome! It reminded me of '50 first dates' when Drew Barrymore beats the hell out of that Hawaiian guy with a baseball bat.

I just love how Ron says, so perfectly calmly as if hes talking about the weather, that Hermione shouldnt track him down when hes on a case. In any other circumstances, it would have sounded bloody mental for a wife to track down her husband as if hes a criminal, especially if the husband is part of law enforcements, but with those two, its actually perfectly in character... and if that isn’t funny I don’t know what is.

Nate's reaction at seeing Ron and Harry, Lorelei's unbelieving attitude when he was talking about the magical police, all of that was such fun to read. I really like how you mix humor into situations that wouldnt be very funny otherwise. Also, I cant wait t know more about Rea. Shes such a mystery and so intriguing. I found myself wondering what she has seen growing up that would make her so interestingly apathetic. Or maybe its because she has better control of her powers than you le ton and she knows that there isn’t much that can hurt her... I dont know, but I WANT to!

Author's Response: Wow, I always do love your reviews! And I'm glad to see you back.

I'm glad you find that line so funny, but the truth is, it was censored. A lot of my stories have that problem, but you can read the uncut versions of all my stories on MNFF. I truthfully hold back in a lot of the themes of my stories for this site. After reading the story of Nujood Ali, I was inspired to write a story about the plight of child brides, but I know it won't be accepted here.

Rae is just shrouded in mystery in general. I don't even know everything about her, and I don't know how much I'm going to let the readers know either.

But I'm almost certain you exist just to flatter my ego! Not that I'm complaining!

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Review #11, by ravenclaw_princess Chapter 7 Another Letter

3rd March 2011:
This was quite an interesting chapter. I loved the detail when describing the prison. It was also a real surprise when Rae appeared in Diagon Alley.

All in all, a nice chapter, all the usual comments still stand, nice flow, pace, grammar and characterisation.

Author's Response: I'm glad it's starting to come together now. Maybe I'll just have to put more work into the first few chapters.

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Review #12, by ravenclaw_princess Chapter 6 Dewey, Chetham, and Howe

3rd March 2011:
Hi there. You have written great chapter. The only thing I would suggest is a better link between the first and the second sections (when it goes to the letter Nate got for S.H.A.M). I was lost for a bit about where that fitted in with the time line as it wasn't immediately apparent that it was a flash back.

Other than what I mentioned above, I thought the chapter was nicely put together and I liked Nat's thoughts about how panicked he had been when in the end everything was rather subdued. Lorelie's life and family are proving to be very interesting and you continue to build the mystery surrounding here which I like. The characters are staying consistent too which is good.

Author's Response: In the future, you'll learn more about both their families. And yes, the POV does quite a bit of jumping. While Harry is just learning about the school, everything we first see with Nate is happening three weeks before.

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Review #13, by ravenclaw_princess Chapter 5 The Macalister Girls

1st March 2011:
Hello. This was a really exciting chapter and I was pretty much hooked. The pace was really good good and it amped up int he middle quite nicely when all the action was happening. The chapter also flowed well from the last one and what Harry and Ron were doing flowed seemlessly in with where the last chapter left off.

I'm don't believe that Hermione would ever call Ron on a job like that, especially at the house of the person they are chasings friend. It seemed a little over the top for my liking and totally out of character for Hermione. And Ron's reaction seemed a little immature too considering his age.

But that is my only negative for this chapter. Other wise I really enjoyed it. I'm really glad that Harry decided to stop playing Mr nice guy, those kids have no respect and definitely have a lot to hide.

Author's Response: Wow, I'm making a whole list of bullit points to fix in my edits. Hmmm...maybe Ron noticing Hermione wasn't well, and telling him to let him know if anything was wrong...that he didn't this this was going to be a very labor intense assignment.

Which neither of them though.

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Review #14, by ravenclaw_princess Chapter 4 Deception, Sleep Deprivation, and Dropping Dead

28th February 2011:
Hi. I quite enjoyed this chapter. It flowed really well and it was interesting to see the first contact between Harry, Ron and Nat. There is still a lot of mystery surrounding him and his so called school which is leaving me very intrigued.

Nat has grown on me as the story has progressed. His reaction to Harry and Ron seemed quite realistic based on his back ground and his character has stayed consistent throughout. I also really like Lorelei, she seems like a really good friends.

There were a few spelling errors etc, mostly things that spell checks don't pick up, but nothing too major. The pace was nice through this chapter and it held my attention. I also thought Rae's comments at the end were so cute.

Author's Response: I'm glad you're starting to develop a soft spot for the characters. I hope my story can continue to impress you.

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Review #15, by ravenclaw_princess Chapter 3 Bernie's 24-Hour Waffle Hut

27th February 2011:
I found this chapter easier to read that the previous one. It wasn't quite so long and it was easier to grasp.

I have to say, the public relations in America need some serious work. I would be complaining to Vanessa's superior if I was greeted by her like that and Chantal needs to work a bit on not turning people off you immediately on arrival. I was a bit confused about what a golem is and I think a little more explanation was required.

I liked Nat a lot better in this chapter. He seemed to show some real emotion to his predicament and a little more depth in his character. I also really like Lorelei. There is some really amusing dialogue between the two.

Not to be too picky, but I find it highly unlikely that anyone from America would not be able to pick the British accent, it's too well known. I'm from NZ and they just couldn't pick it. People thought I was from every other country other than NZ, I've had Australian and British and even South African. It was cool though to see my country mentioned :D

Overall though, it was nice chapter to read, it seemed to flow nicer and have a better pace than the last. You also continue through out to show a real depth in your writing and even the small details seem to be thought out.

Author's Response: I'm glad you're liking the flow, and I'm hoping the editing (along with these reviews) will help me make this the best story it can be!

And it could be that Chantal doesn't pay a lot of attention to her customers (she did bring her homework to work, after all). That or she just doesn't care, which is also is a big possibility.

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Review #16, by ravenclaw_princess Chapter 2 Three Weeks Time

26th February 2011:
Hello again. I did find this chapter to be quite long and I feel that it would have been better broken into two with Harry as one part and Nat as the other. You introduce a whole new world and a lot of new characters, plus you go back three weeks to where the first chapter was set that it just felt like they should have been written separately.

As for characters, you have Harry and Ginny spot on and I had to laugh when she walked into the bedroom and demanded to know what was going on.

I'm not too sure if I like Nat yet. He seems like a little stereotypical American teenager at the moment with his disregard for rules, his 'I'm so cool' attitude and liking the preachers daughter. There is obviously a lot to him that we don't know yet, as in why he didn't want to go to Hardscrabble Creek etc, and this does make me curious to find out more about him.

As for your writing though, your ideas and the thought that has gone into them is amazing. Your writing flows together nicely and I didn't notice many grammatical errors. It did get a little slow in the middle, but I think that was compounded by the length of the chapter.

Author's Response: Nate complains about this a lot, but he name is NATE, not NAT. "Nat is a girl's name!"

I'm glad the style is flowing at least. I'm hoping that Nate develops into more than just a sterotype, but this really is just his personality: a bit cocky, not appreciating the consiqueces of his actions, and thinking he's indestructable.

A very typical teenager, in other words.

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Review #17, by ravenclaw_princess Chapter 1 The Notebook Paper Rejection

25th February 2011:
Hi there, reviewing as requested.

You have very original idea's which I find refreshing. You also write really well. It flows well, it has a good pace and grammatically it was basically all correct.

Everyone seemed well characterised, even Hermione who was only mentioned in passing and there was a good level of detail about their current lives.

I did get a little confused about the whole law thing and I had to read over parts several times to understand it, but by the end of the chapter I think I had a bit more of a handle on it. I guess it was because the explanation of it was quite long and there was so much to it to take in all at once.

However, apart from that, it was a nice start and i like the little scene at home with Ginny.

Author's Response: Yes, I actually did a lot more thinking about how the law would work after the fact, and in my major editing, I'm going to do that.

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Review #18, by Aderyn Chapter 3 Bernie's 24-Hour Waffle Hut

24th February 2011:

This chapter is slightly better, though I still feel like you need to slow down. I can tell that you have the plot in your head, but I think you could do better putting it onto paper. For example I'm very confused about Ricardo. He's a golem? Is that like he's imperioused or what??

Also, watch out for your characters. Ron seems very immature, even more so than he did at Hogwarts. And Hermione seems pretty slow as well. Surely someone like her would realize that she's pregnant (her "symptoms" are exceedingly cliche and a bit over the top.) Even Harry realizes, even though he doesn't bother saying anything.

Lorelei is my favorite character so far, though again- she's a witch, but does she go to a magical school?

Finally, why do they have a criminal file on Nate ? Yes, he may have gotten into trouble but "known accomplishes" that seems rather over the top.

Author's Response: Hmm, I do have a lot of things to think about in this story, which is why I need reviews. This story's going to be going through a major overhall.

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Review #19, by Aderyn Chapter 2 Three Weeks Time

24th February 2011:
Hello again

I think that you might want to slow down a little bit. I feel like you're introducing a new setting, main character, minor character and a whole new wizarding world way too fast. This could easily be cut, or at the very least split into a few chapters.

Second I would watch out for characterization. Nate seems very stereotypically American. He has no regard for rules, uses too many phrases "dude" etc. I feel like he has no depth right now and though he is a kid (and may not be meant to be so serious and deep) you could try to lose some of the stereotypes.

I don't know how old Nate is supposed to be, but if he is going to Hogwarts, I would assume that he's eleven. Even if he's older, he is still acting in a very immature way. To me (and I'm sorry if I'm being too harsh) that is not appealing at all. People like Nate irritate me in real life and I don't really feel like trying to connect or sympathize with his character.

Author's Response: Well, I try to explained all that through the story, but maybe I need to do a better job of it.

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Review #20, by Aderyn Chapter 1 The Notebook Paper Rejection

24th February 2011:
Hello, here for your review.

I must say, your story ideas are always unique. They certainly aren't mainstream, which can be nice, since scenarios in fan fiction tend to get overdone.

This set up could prove interesting. Like Harry, the I find the name "Skat-Hatokha" to be strange. And even after reading the explanation, I was confused about the whole law bit. It seems rather dense. Maybe to make it more approachable, just have the law be summarized- that is to say- tell us what's really important

Also, I don't really understand why the kids are considered criminals. After all, if they are under aged, that should be taken into account.

Author's Response: Well, the name Skat-Hatokha is actually a Seneca word meaning single-sighted. There are so many place names that are Native American words.

The whole reasoning behind the law was actually something that occured to me after the fact (I still don't know how that happened). But that's a big reason why I asked for reviews. I need to know specifically how to do that.

And yes, children can be considered criminals. That's why we have the juvinal justice system...and why a lot of kids ARE tried as adults.

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Review #21, by Argus MacGonagall Chapter 9 Hieging Place

16th February 2011:
Just wondering when you're going to do a new chapter. Haven't seen one in a couple months and I really liked where it was going.

Author's Response: I promise that I am indeed working on chapter 10. I have it all planned out, so it's just a matter of writing.

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Review #22, by searching4neverland Chapter 3 Bernie's 24-Hour Waffle Hut

27th January 2011:
Hi there. This is me here with the review you requested. Ive got to say, this is one of the smartest, funniest and most fun-to-read stories Ive read in a long time. I was feeling a little down when I started reading this and you totally cheered me up.

Youve done great on all accounts in this story if you ask me. Your descriptive abilities are fantastic. Everything is so subdue and the words are like little images that take shape and for in my mind, totally easily, creating the funniest pictures ever. I loved how natural feel of the breakfast scene in the first chapter and then the environment at the ministry and Harry struggling with the pace. It was completely appropriate and original. That line about the house in Godrigs Hollow being more cheerful that number 12 was funny to me for some reason, probably because the comparison between the two is so grotesque, because they are like, on different ends of a pole.

And characterization is perfect. The characters are totally in canon and yet sound so much more grown up because you make them find their way around places that they weren’t familiar with before and dealing believably with situations that we havent seen them in. While always staying faithful to the echo of the way JK wrote them. Take Ron for example. It was so totally like him to ask Harry about what is the matter with Hermione, even thought she is now his wife for several years. Or poke his finger with his tiepin -FIVE times! LOL! Everything they do is in tune with their personalities.

I especially loved the glimpse of McGonagall. It was, hands down, the coolest version of her I have EVER read. "You can tell because it has the word 'academy' in it" LOL LOL LOL!

Completely and totally ADORE Nate. You have portrayed him so beautifully. I think characterization is one of the best things about this story actually, or maybe its the fact that I just love your OCs. All you do is show show show and never just tell by narrative how he is. Nate does the telling and its amazing. The things he does are priceless, the things you have him say crack me up every time! That part about him memorizing that law thing was perfect. Goes to show how smart and careful he really is and how difficult it is to catch him doing wrong. I just love him! But I already said that... oops! ;P Really, youve given me everything I need to know about this character to care about what happens to him and be interested in the story all in one chapter (the second) and now Im dying to know what you do with him. It’s the perfect beginning.

And Graham as the voice of reason was really nice, loved him too. Your description of him as a misfit was perfect. Short, simple and to the point. I especially like both their sense of humor and the way they talk to each other. You can tell theyre good friends. And then what he says:
...What if this isnt a hoax and someone somewhere is getting really, really pissed off?
...And make sure Lorelei doesn’t snap her neck before the date. LOL . Youve got to love Graham. And Loreleis magic showing through her ability to break things was a beautiful reflection of her character. You got her relationship with Nate nailed just by that telling each other off session they had. Kind of hate-you-like-you-but-then-totally-love-you thing. It was brilliant.

I laughed out loud when I read your description of how a last day of school is and the teachers reaction to the bell. That was so realistic! I remember in my old school, the teachers used to barricade themselves in their lounge for a good five minutes when it was time for the students to come out. We’d go insane, it was like a jungle. It was so much fun and you caught that perfectly.

You hinted at some other reason why Nate didnt go to a magic school, thus completing the mystery that kind of surrounds him, but I wouldnt say hes mysterious. He's just a kid, a helraiser but so easu to love. He could be if I dwelled on it, but I find myself too swept away from how much fun this story is to read and how well you can be funny in a delicate way, simply by telling the story, without forcing it.

The only down side was the slightly longish explanation of what the System is and does in the first chapter. Its not that it was too long, but it was all in one piece, without other parts of narrative to provide some pause in between. You could try making them walk around as they talk, talk to someone else in between or something like that, just so that it doesnt come all at once. Honestly, I didnt really mind all that much, but I should say this because Im supposed to review from a general p.o.v right? And one-block explanations like that tend to drag for some.

Anyway, this i sit, and Im totally adding this story to my favorites! Thanks for requesting. I had a great time reading this! I cant believe you only have seven reviews!!!

10 of 10 for me.

Author's Response: Wow, this was certainly an epic review, and I am certainly going to have to have to go back for more reviews. I am glad I've made you such a fan, and I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story, even if you don't wait until my next review request to do so.

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Review #23, by electricfeel Chapter 9 Hieging Place

24th January 2011:
Hi, electricfeel here from the forums. Sorry it's taken a little longer to get to your review, life has been a little hectic!

Anyway, I really, really enjoyed this. The plot is original and intriguing, your characters are well established and realistic and your style of writing works wonderfully.

The dialogue is the real winner for me, it's all so realistic and witty. The conversations coupled with the little descriptions here and there just bring the story to life. And the length of the chapters give you a lot of room to explore, nothing feels rushed.

I especially liked how the scene shifted from the kids to Harry and Ron, you managed to change from being in the mindset of a teenager to an adult in the space of a few lines and it worked seamlessly.

I don't really have any advice to offer because it's very clear you know exactly what you're doing with this story and the style of writing is unique to you, I think that's why it all works so well.

Anyway, feel free to request again :)

Author's Response: Well, thank you for the glowing words. I am trying to get up the insperation to finally finish chapter 10, and this review really helped.

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Review #24, by amillionstoriestotell Chapter 9 Hieging Place

3rd January 2011:
This is great, I can't wait to read more! Keep up the good work :D

Author's Response: I promise that I am working on chapter 10!

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Review #25, by Eminate Chapter 9 Hieging Place

6th August 2010:
Alright this is my first review for this site and I just wanted to say I love this story!! I really enjoy how you show the world of magic in not only Britain but also America (and in the story Hermione..it's Australia).
Also I want to say that you make great characters that seem believable. I feel like I will see Nate walking right past me if I was walking the streets of New York,and trust me that a good thing.
I think you are a great author and I hope to see more work from you soon. :)
My rating 10/10

Author's Response: Well, you must know I'm a sucker for ego stroking. I have to say, though, expanding the world of Harry Potter is one of my favorite things to do in stories. I even have stories in the planning stages about China and Korea.

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