46 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Hplover1008 Sirius and Lily

6th January 2012:
I think this is such a great chapter. Sirius and Lily are so cute together and just make me smile. I can't wait to read the next chapter.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it, thanks!


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Review #2, by Loving_Sirius_4eva The War and Effects

28th August 2011:
I really enjoyed this story. I was a really clever one.. Keep writing more. You are an amazing writer. :)

Author's Response: Thank you. I have been on hiatus for a time, but I'm trying to get back in the swing of it. check back for more!

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Review #3, by ReAnna The War and Effects

17th June 2010:
Bizarre but good! i enjoyed it!

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it. thanks for the review

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Review #4, by Pecha Pichu I Won't

9th May 2010:
This is a really good story! No grammar errors!
I really like Sirius/Lily. James/Lily just aren't suited for each other
James isn't my top character on the list so some bashing is nice :)

I wish that Sirius wasn't so self-sacrificing so that he stayed with Lily.

Author's Response: Thank you for the compliment. I agree, I am not the biggest fan of James. As far as Sirius' nature, I had difficulty deciding how to justify how he could let Lily go, and making him so self sacrificing was the only feasible justification I could see without completely making it AU. I understand where you are coming from though. thank you for the review.

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Review #5, by Cassie_Heart The War and Effects

7th March 2010:
this was something totally different...i've read a few lily/sirius fanfics and i pretty much just quit reading after like 6 or 7 chapters...but i finished this on and i think itz a pretty good one.i like this even if it is a little different. great job and keep writing

Author's Response: Thanks, I really appreciate the review, and that it is positive. I will hopefully be launching a new series soon, so look out for it

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Review #6, by hermionegarner The War and Effects

11th March 2009:
Okay.

I think that this would have been better as a one-shot. You would have to cut some stuff, but it would be more like an actual conversation between two people, which is what it is. I think you should just go through and re-write pretty much all of it; I have a feeling you wrote this a long time ago.

So yeah...either make it a one-shot or make it longer. Either way works for me. The indent before each paragraph is really bugging me though--it doesn't look very good.

Oh, note from ch. 2: if you have an author's note, put it either at the beginning of the chapter or the end.

Most of the problems I had with this were formatting, spelling, and word choice. Again, I thought the characters were kind of ooc. I would have written the story very differently, and I think that if you look back on it you would too.

So take a look at it in retrospect and PLEASE don't be sad or angry because of my reviews! I did like the story, but I know that you could have written it a lot better!

~hermionegarner

Author's Response: We discussed this at lunch, now you know the story, lol.

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Review #7, by hermionegarner I Won't

11th March 2009:
Hmm...

I would re-write the entire scene between Lily and Sirius at the beginning. It was really awkward with spelling and grammar and some of the words you used were not real words at all.

I think that, again, most of the characters are a little ooc, aside from maybe Remus. I still can't believe for one second that Lily would actually get together with James after the way he's been acting.

I really hope you're not mad at me or dissapointed or anything! I really do like the storyline, but I just want to help you make it better!

~hermionegarner

Author's Response: We discussed this at lunch, now you know the story, lol.

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Review #8, by hermionegarner Bloody James Potter

10th March 2009:
Argh! I wrote a long review but my iPod turned off before I could submit it! I'll tell you at school.

~hermionegarner

Author's Response: We discussed this at lunch, now you know the story, lol.

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Review #9, by hermionegarner Sirius and Lily

10th March 2009:
Interesting...I like it so far, but I have some critiques.

The transitions are a little awkward. I would either not include them and use a horizontal line only or I would put them in italics or something. It would be less distracting.

There were some minor typos, but those aren't a problem. I think that they way the present Remus talks is a little bit out of character. I can give you specifics at school, but whatever.

Don't get me wrong! I really like it! But whenever I see room for improvement I want to help the author get better. Remember, this is the only thing of yours I've read, and I'm being a little bit picky. I just have a feeling you could do better ;p

Love ya!

~hermionegarner

Author's Response: We discussed this at lunch, now you know the story, lol.

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Review #10, by City Lights The War and Effects

18th January 2009:
hey! it's a good story, but what about harry's sister??? are you planning on writing a sequel telling us about her, or are you going to leave us wondering?

Author's Response: I'm considering writing a sequel. I haven't had many people request one, so I've left it on a back burner. I meant to leave the story open so I could write a sequel if I wanted. Just keep an eye out for a possible sequel!

~Fire


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Review #11, by inkless_quill Sirius and Lily

11th June 2008:
oh, i love it so far! i cant wait to read the next chapter!

Author's Response: Glad you like it and thanks for the review.

~Fire


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Review #12, by :P The War and Effects

19th May 2008:
umm, thats an odd twist. I think for people who like the whole Sirius/Lily relationship thing would really like your story but personally, i prefer thinking of James as the knight in shining armor and this story doesnt exactly put him in that light. So all in all, good story if you like the Sirus/Lily thing so good job anyway. :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it, sort of, and thank you for being so honest. I will admit I prefer the James/Lily pairing myself, to read, but as a writer I LOVE to play with unusual pairings in situations. Thanks for the review.

~Fire


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Review #13, by :P The War and Effects

19th May 2008:
umm, thats an odd twist. I think for people who like the whole Sirius/Lily relationship thing would really like your story but personally, i prefer thinking of James as the knight in shining armor and this story doesnt exactly put him in that light. So all in all, good story if you like the Sirus/Lily thing so good job anyway. :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review

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Review #14, by monkeygirl100 The War and Effects

17th May 2008:
really good!
Monkey GIRL

Author's Response: Glad you liked it, and thanks for the review.

~Fire


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Review #15, by belinda1 The War and Effects

15th May 2008:
Cool story. I liked it.

Author's Response: Glad you liked it thanks for the review.

~FIre


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Review #16, by westcoastlovex Bloody James Potter

13th May 2008:
I dont think i like the whole lily/sirius deal..

Author's Response: Well, I can imagine that, but I do make it clear its a lily/sirius story, so if you're reading it... I guess that makes it your choice.

~Fire


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Review #17, by westcoastlovex Sirius and Lily

13th May 2008:
Interesting...? I guess..

Author's Response: Okay... I'm going to take that as a compliment. Thanks!

~Fire


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Review #18, by Hell_Hath_No_Fury The War and Effects

29th April 2008:
this is amazing!!! i loves it!!
please tell me it isnt over and it's gonna continue w/ harry doing what remus said!!

ill love u 4ever and give u cookies if u do!!

Author's Response: If you really like it, I will try and do a sequel after I finish the new mini series I'm about to start.

~Fire


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Review #19, by Hell_Hath_No_Fury I Won't

29th April 2008:
this is really good. i love james but this story is making me hate him.

Author's Response: Whoops! Didn't mean to create any James haters....

~Fire


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Review #20, by Hell_Hath_No_Fury Bloody James Potter

29th April 2008:
so why did he give it up? why did he let james win if this is how it was?

Author's Response: You'll see, keep reading.

~Fire


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Review #21, by Hell_Hath_No_Fury Sirius and Lily

29th April 2008:
ive never seen something like this before...well i have but not quite...ok im not making sense am i?
anyway, i love it so far and cant wait to see what remus is talking about!

Author's Response: Glad you like it and thanks for the review.

~Fire


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Review #22, by Jas [♥] Sirius and Lily

29th April 2008:
umm this is really confusing.

Author's Response: Sorry. If you give me more detail, maybe I can clear things up?

~Fire


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Review #23, by IloveNeville The War and Effects

28th April 2008:
Wow this was wondeful. Poor Lily and Sirius!! They never got their happy ending. Yeah I wanna know more about Annabelle like everyone else!! That's so weird. I read another story where Harry had an older stillborn sister called Annabelle. Hmm curious very curious. Maybe that's where you got the inspiration for the name. Anyway great job.

IloveNeville.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it. Nope, never heard of another story like that. Interesting coincidence. THanks for the review.

~Fire


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Review #24, by Lilly Barker The War and Effects

27th April 2008:
Eep! It's over! You better start a sequl! Well i guess you don't have to but I'd REALLY like you to. :D. :))--fat man wants you to too! haha. Don't ask.

Anyways this chapter was wonderful. So sadly wonderful! I loved it! :]]. Great job!!
♥10♥
Lilly (^.^)

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it. Once I've done the two series I've started (Hearts Don't Die, or The Problem With Arranged Marriages). THanks for the review.

~Fire


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Review #25, by KaraBlack The War and Effects

27th April 2008:
Yay! i love this story! its extremely amazing! Only thing i would change is the layout of the words instead of:

"Hey Remus?" Harry had renewed strength in his voice




"Yeah?"





"Thanks for telling me the truth, for telling me everything I didn't know. Thanks."



To:

"Hey Remus?" Harry had renewed strength in his voice

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for telling me the truth, for telling me everything I didn't know. Thanks."

Maybe something like that? i don't know just a suggestion :D 10 billion/10

Author's Response: Thanks, that was the intention. I will try and fix it at a later time. Thanks for the review.

~Fire


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