I liked this alot. Although I thought Tally was a bit mean, leaving Remus for an intership and all.
Never the less, I did love this
10 Report Review
It's so sad to see what Remus and Tally have been reduced to... they went from being the best of friends (and something more, perhaps?) to two people who want nothing to do with each other. I really hope that Mark will make Remus realise how much he liked (and still likes?) her. And I love how Tally takes care of Remus, even though their situation's so awkward at the moment.
As for constructive criticism... I think your writing is so much better than the sort of writing you'd find in most of HPFF's stories. It's hard to find something specific you can improve on. Your spelling and grammar are flawless (as far as I can tell; I'm not a native speaker) and your dialogue's pretty good as well. I don't understand why you don't have more reviews - you should. Don't give up, though!
Great job! I'm looking forward to the next chapter.Author's Response: Wow. Probably the best review I've received so far. Thank you so much.
And yes, I've been a huge grammar freak, so you're compliment on that makes me slightly giddy.
Thanks again. Chapter five is on its way. :] Report Review
I loved it. My eyes teared up a little when I read the flash-back, just because it's so sweet and innocent, and so unlike the situation they're in right now. I love that Tally's taking care of Remus after the full moon, though, and I hope that that will bring the two of them a bit closer together. And, well, I just love Remus. :) Great job! Keep it up!Author's Response: Aw. Really?
I'm glad that had such an effect on you. I spent hours on the flashback, trying to make it longer, but the extra words just sort of took away from what I was trying to convey.
Thanks for the review! Report Review
:D Love the story so far.
I'm intrigued by it.
~Wave03Author's Response: Intrigued, eh?
That's always good! :]
Thank you for the review. It means a lot. Report Review
ahh! I LOVE it. I really love the whole Hogwarts era OOTP kind of Sirius or Remus/OC =] pllleaaassse continue soon! :D I am sooo favoriting this
9/10Author's Response: Hahah. Thank you.
There are a lot of Remus/OC fics with them at school, so I wanted to try something different, something that would give the characters more of a history.
And don't worry, the second chapter is validating. :D Report Review
Well, I really like it so far and I think it's very good (especially for a first chapter, because I agree - those chapters tend to be the most difficult to write!). I'm interested to see what kind of past Remus and Tally have together, and why Tally left to go to France... and I'm also very eager to see how Tally sleeping over at Remus's is going to work out. Hope to read more of this soon!
x StefanieAuthor's Response: Wow. I didn't expect to get a review so soon!
Thank you oh so much. I really appreciate it.
But yes, I'm working on the second chapter. It's technically finished, but I'm not real satisfied with it yet.
So keep a look out! Report Review
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