I am going to pretend that I do not know you so that I can give you an honest review. With that being said:

Here I am to review, as promised.

For the grammar part, there were some things you could fix. All I'm going to suggest is to get a beta reader. Now, usually I'm not a fan of the trio making friends with an OC, because it is very cliche. I have faith in you that you will add a twist. Your writing is pretty good but would be all the more better with more detail, which only comes from practice. At the end you say they suddenly knew everything about each other. That is rather boring, I would think it would be better if you actually showed some conversation and some more Fred/Kathryn moments. This chapter was very short and a bit rushed. Describe things more. I was really wondering what Kathryn looked like, tell us. People just don't meet each other, become best friends, and know each other perfectly. So watch yourself. Actually back to the grammar, if you want email it to me and I can do it for you. I have beta read several stories before.

Nice start though. Update soon and good luck with the writing!

Kara

Author's Response: Thanks. I think it's cliche too, but I hate coming up with new names, and personalities, hence it took me a month to create Kathryn. I think I will email you.

 Report Review