Peter...as the nice guy...hmm. Well, good idea and I like your writing. There are a few spelling and grammar mistakes, but nothing too major. FYI, however, book titles are mostly all capitalized. Good job!

Author's Response: Oh! I must have let that one slip. I normally capitalize TOO much... Thank you!

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Here are my twenty seconds. I like this chapter, the humor is great ( I'm big on that ). Can't wait for the next chapter, please update soon.

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Hello! Me again! Another great chapter. You've really gotten a good subject matter with this.

I think I, and perhaps some other readers, would like to see a little romance going on in the next couple chapters. But to whom? Ah, well! Your the author, its up to you to decide such things!

Here's a couple stories I think you might like: Along Came Sirius, Changing the Fairytale, Finding Ava, and Just Breathe. None of them are mine, I assure you; though you are welcome to check mine out! (*wink wink*)

Have a wonderful day and keep writing!

10/10 from
huffle_puff4eva

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Wow! Great first chapter! You were right in your Author's Note: A New story = New ideas + New possibilities! I love the feeling!

This is definitely worth continuing. You have a wonderful story here, but you just need to keep it rolling. Don't be afraid, let all loose! And if not that many people like it (won't happen, trust me) keep writing! Stephen King says he writes 1500 words a day, everyday. If writing is your passion, keep doing it, it can only improve!

I just wanted to point out one or two tiny mistakes.

“Why are we the ones on stake out? Why isn’t Remus and James doing this?” I asked him while pretending to read my own book, The biography of Thomas Quackerlictac. We both ruled out Sirius, since he was in detention with Professor Filtwick, something that has become almost a weekly activity for him and Filtwick.

In this paragraph, it should have been: "Why AREN'T Remus and James..." And the Charms professor, I believe, is named FLITWICK not FILTWICK.

There you go! Have fun! Keep writing! Stay in school, and all that jazz-pa-zazz!

10/10 from
huffle_puff4eva

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Very good! Great beginning!

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10/10 carry on this is realy good
silver_serpent

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Ha this is great, I love it!!

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I think you should continue! I really want to know more about Mack and this side of Peter, before he turned traitor. Great job.

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I Think It's a great story! It's really interesting(In the good way) Please keep up with the story!

Pikachue

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