I absolutely loved this story. The writing was beautiful. Thank you for writing this story, I hope you continue to write many more.

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This story was way too sad! :(

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omg!! this is totaly amazing!! your such an awsome writer!! i usily never go for snape things but this is like really good!

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Ohh, I feel sad now. I really didn't suspect it. Damn! Well I'm surprised that you ended the story like this, but obviously it makes sense.
Ok, I wanted to say that I liked reading the story very much. I think that you have done an excellent job. The story is written very well. It was interesting and exciting. I spent most of my free time reading it while finally I have finished it.
Thank you for writting it! Keep up the good job!

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I wanted to drop a review saying that I'm enjoying your story very much.
It was quite hard to get used to a different Snape at the beginning. I had not seen him as a manipulator before and it's quite hard for me to believe that he wanted to give her that potion. However, it doesn't really matter. I like the story anyway and I love your ideas. I think that it was very creative how you managed to imprison her in the castle and I like the idea about the locket. Although I think that Dumbledre wouldn't have kept such a strong control on their relationship.
I want to know what happens next very much, but it's time to sleep so I'll get back to the story tomorrow.

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OMH! this is such good story, definitely one of the best fan fics that I've read.

The end is so good, it made me cry, but I wish that snape kept the baby, i think that him having a baby would have made him such a good person.

Your fan forevermore,
LilyPie

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of all the stories i have ever read in this page, this have being the saddest end yet. I can't say that it didn't make sense because it did, but i really didn't expected it to be like this. I though it was going to be ones of those stories that modified the future, but i see it was not... I just wanted to say that i loved from beginning to end.


I have never reviewed you before, because i didn't have an account, i just made one yesterday, but i love your writing..

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. I'm sorry people seem to be upset, but it really could not have ended any other way and still fit in the HP universe. The ending was foreshadowed in chapter 5 in the discussion about Emma's rose on the train, when Severus says, "That flower was dead the moment it was picked."

I cried writing the end. I hated doing that, but there really was no other way it could end.

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aw

you made me cry. Really and Truly I;m so upset right now. I have my graduation from highschool in a few hours and all i will be able to think about is your story...how messed up is that?

Does Allison ever find out about her parents? Does she meet Harry and things like that or does she hear terrible rumors about her father? Or is she non-magical like her mother? What does she look like when she's older.

NO! THE STORY CAN'T BE OVER. lol it was breathtakingly wonderful. Always a fav of mine.

I think you should do a one-shot or something of Allison...because I don't want this story to end.please? for me? lol.

Can't wait to see what stories you come up with next, and I'll be keeping my eye open for that one-shot, haha. j/k

(smiles) +tears after this story

Evelyn Grey

Author's Response: I am writing the sequel, Allison's Story (this is my working title; the title will probably change) now. But I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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Oh my gosh this is like a book I can't put down! I've been reading for a few hours now. You're a brilliant writer and your character, Emma, is very eay to like, and I don't say that a lot about fanfictions. Keep up the good work. I love Snape!

Author's Response: Thank you. I hope you continue to enjoy it.

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gah- Michael ticks me off. I know he's just trying to do right by Emma but jeez!

I'm surprised Sev hasn't punched him by now, and Emma's defending him? Ugh I'd have told him to back off a long time ago. Still Emma being kinda diplomatic (must run in the family)
and Severus is behaving quite well given the circumstances. I can't wait until the baby's born!!!

wonderful...as always

Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Keeping Emma ends with the next chapter and the birth of the child. I am working on a sequel to this story now.

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hahahaha

i love Emma. Only she would make Severus pretend to be Bond. genius.


gahhh i love this sotry- write more!

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Good chapter, I couldnt tear my eyes away. I was looking forward to learning of Emma's reaction to her new fate and I think you handled it excellently. I loved the touch of the healer being a legilimens, and the hazy way you described what emma was seeing, but not understanding or realizing (how she saw the woman wave a stick at her, etc.) I had to smile when Emma figured Selma was a mental patient that had gotten loose.

Emma's reaction was good. She wasn't too quick to accept it, and she didnt make an absolute huge deal out of it either. It made her physically ill, she tried to escape, she wanted her mother. But she wasnt violent or screaming or anything overdone :) I liked that she kept swearing "I wont tell!" seems so much more realistic.

I also liked reading about the regret the others were feeling, especially Severus for not taking her to a Muggle hospital. Can't wait to read more :)

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Ha, I was suspecting Snape of taking her and doing something horrible. I never would have thought of the dirty fellow they'd mocked. I have to say that you write action scenes really well. I was so happy when Snape came to her rescue.

I wasn't so happy with the discussion between the wizards though. Evil, they are, the things they were thinking just to protect their world. I'm with Dumbledore - could have just put her back in the muggle world. The idea of a magical world is so far fetched, nobody would have expected it. Prolly would have thought she had a head injury or something and forgot what had really happened to her. As for the guy that confessed... hey, thats his own problem lol. But i figure it needs to be this way for your story to work out. /shrug.

I very much enjoyed the scene with her mother though at the end. It was nice to finally get to meet this woman, and I had been wondering her reaction to the news of what happened to her daughter. I am curious about "the truth about her" and I hope we find out more.

Author's Response: Portage had his own agenda for wanting Emma in Azkaban. Fudge is a bit of a putz--easily led. I like Viola too--she has made poor choices, and it has cost her the respect of her daughter who thinks she is not very smart and a weak woman.

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This is one of the best stories I've read on this site. i absolutely love it. You've made me fall even more in love with Severus which I didn't realize was possible.

After reading all of it (so far that is) I really like how Emma is kind of coming inot her own, especially with Severus. For someone so shy she really knows how to handle him, and take things in stride. His comments don't make her as upset as they used to. I also just love how as caring as you made him he's still got that tiny jerkiness to him. Plus on top of everything he's such a guy.

I really enjoy this story. I'm curious to see what's going to happen next. I really hope you update it soon. I'll be checking every day! :)

can't wait for chapter 16!

Evelyn Grey

Author's Response: Thank you so much. :)

I've finished writing the story, so I am posting the chapters as soon as soon as the previous one is validated.

The queue is rather long right now. :(

I absolutely love Severus too.

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Wow, at first this chapter was sort of intimidating. To be honest, Severus is one of my least favourite characters, so reading about his personal life is a new thing for me. I was surprised to see how badly he wanted her, and the lengths he will go to to get her. But I think it is awesome characterization. He was a Slytherin after all. Scheming, clever, and only out for himself. Throw that in with the fact that he's been busy working for Voldemort, and now for Dumbledore, and he is young, he probably doesn't get women all that often. So great job!

The rest of the chapter was fascinating. I'm really glad that Emma actually made a couple of friends with people who she originally considered to be her enemies. I liked the characterization of the two girls a lot - outgoing and feisty. I loved how eager they were to help once Emma told them about what was going on.

Everything that happened in the pub kept me on the edge of my seat. I was just waiting for when he'd slip the potion in, and wondering if she would notice. I loved the other girls' plan to accompany and keep watch, and how they worked out a system for communication in the bathroom. The "test" was a nice addition :) Anyway, I really like the two Russian girls if you haven't noticed :)

I have to admit, though, that I am a little disappointed that things didnt work out. I feel a little evil for saying that, knowing he was sort of going to take advantage. I just thought it was interesting, I guess. :) I'm sure, from your cliffhanger, that it is not the end, though.

Author's Response: Not the end, Emma and Severus have quite a road to walk together.

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Loved it! I'm sorry to say that I came here because I noticed you didn't have many reviews :( I wanted to check it out. It's a shame, because this is one of the best stories I've read on this site in a long time, and that was just the first chapter.

Your OC is great. I love her background, being poor, being nothing special (except for smart), yet being surrounded by arrogant rich people and constantly shunned, even by her best friends family. It makes life tough for her. I love her determination to do for herself and succeed. I can honestly say my attention didnt wander even once while reading about her :)

I was wondering why Snape would be interested at all. At first, I thought it was unlike him to even give her the time of day when they bumped into each other. Then when he said he was 22, I thought "well, maybe. he is young." But when you went on to say that she had Lily's eyes... That made it all make sense. A wonderful reason for him to be taken off guard and have an immediate interest.

You characterize him well - though he seems like a nice guy here, he's not all sweet and innocent. He's manipulative. He's got the dry, sarcastic sense of humor JKR gave him.

I'll keep reading over the next few days. I certainly hope this story gets more reviews, because it deserves them.

Author's Response: Wow! Thank you. I hope it continues to live up to this.

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This is my favorite story on the entire site. Sorry i havent reviewed earlier, I've just been going from chapter to chapter because it's so fricking good!
You're an amazing writer!!


Author's Response: Thank you, that's very nice of you. I hope you continue to enjoy it.

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hey... i remember reading this story on fanfiction.net
but wasn't it called Own Emma.

it's a very good story i really liked it.

Author's Response: I left that site, removing all my stories there, and rewriting them. This story has been almost completely rewritten. I hope you like version 2.0.

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I love how he reads her mind at the end.
=)

Keep writing!
10/10

Author's Response: Thank you, Lauren. I hope you continue to enjoy it.

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I'm your new fan!! hehe.
Very good start to your story,
intriguing, interesting, I loved it.
10/10
Lauren

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oh my god! I'm in love with this story, it's so well written and riveting. I can't wait to see it finished!

Author's Response: Thanks. I have a thing for Severus myself. It's been difficult to share him with Emma. I'm jealous of my own character. LOLOL

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I really like that Severus has a relationship with a muggle, and that she's alloud a Hogworts(would't that be amazing?) I also love the Idea that the American system is different that the brittish one. Makes the wizarding world more realistic that different countries have different points of views. You got me wondering what will Natalie brew as trouble for the happy(?) couple(Don't you think you described Natalie too much like Lily, or will that play in the plot latter on?). Keep up the amazingly beautifull work!
~Danielle

Author's Response: Thank you! I hope you continue to enjoy it.

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This story is one of yayagoddess's best! I'm LOVING this!

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Oh no, Emma... pregnant? Hmm... And her with Kingsley- I do not really know how I feel about that, though I am glad that him and Tonks came into the story. Now, however, I am wondering what will occur next, what with being all caught up with the chapters. And, as for Dumbledore setting up a dinner for all prospective marriage candidates, I find this idea interesting and look forward to reading about it.
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Kingsley called out. “Madame Rosmerta! Bring another glass of milk for my lady, please.” Then, to Emma, he added, “I’m glad that you are looking forward to a large family, Emma. I love children. Also, as an Auror, I am perfectly able to support a larger family. It’s a very good paying job. ”

“In my country, government positions always pay well. Except for teachers. They just don’t seem to command the pay scale and respect that they really should.”

“It’s the same way here. A teacher would be the last person to bet your future on. The financial struggle would be a real hardship. Also, my family left me rather well off. You would never have to worry about struggling to make ends meet with me, Emma.”

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This part- it made me smile, see. Severus becoming so jealous... Snape is undoubtedly beginning to fall in love with Emma. I should think that this will most likely complicate things even further.
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“I’ll marry her,” he said.
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Ah, how envious Snape is- he becomes jealous so easily.
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He would kidnap her and take her someplace. But where? Not Spinner’s End. That’s the first place Dumbledore would look. The Shrieking Shack; it would be perfect. No, it was too close. He’d be seen going out to buy supplies. Then he remembered. The old Bluff House. It was nothing more than a one room building on the edge of a cliff, overlooking the ocean. And it was unplottable. The Death-Eaters used to use it for meetings. And it was just a two hour’s broomstick ride away.
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Kidnapping her? A bit drastic, but, then again... Dumbledore said that Snape always was very rash about his decisions.

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Favorite lines:
“Yes, Maam,” Emma answered. “I was just working on my knitting. Mr. Hagrid is teaching me how to knit.”

“Yes, Hagrid knits all sorts of things. Right now, I believe he is working on paw covers for his dog, Fang. He once knitted me a scarf for Christmas. It was over three meters long and brown. Everything he knits is brown.”
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Very funny, in the midst of all of the drama and sadness.

And, as for Snape and Emma's forbidden romance, it is quite touching.
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“That nasty, evil...,” said Severus, feeling a surge of anger bolt through him. He had already been annoyed because Fudge had not yet bothered to respond to Dumbledore’s owl regarding the Silver Circlet. He admitted that he enjoyed his game of aggravating the hell out of Emma, pissing her off to no end and then turning around and grabbing her and kissing her. That was just to keep her off balance and get her attention. But to deliberately hurt her, it was like kicking a kitten.
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Severus Snape- how could one possibly be so sweet yet so arrogant at the same time?
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My, my, I just finished the chapter- Snape needs to realize that while he does have the power to hurt people, and must not exercise that control... poor Emma...

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