Reading Reviews for They Couldn't Stop the Voices
  
195 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SydneyBlack They Couldn't Change for the Worse

23rd January 2013:
Very interesting!
I noticed you had like twenty sum chapters, so I'll try to hurry and catch up :]
10/10 :D

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Review #2, by ScorpiusRose17 They Couldn't Resist the Overpowering Holiday Cheer

5th June 2012:
Hi there!

Here with another review!

I really thought that you did a brilliant job with this chapter. You did a wonderful job taking a missing piece of the puzzle and bringing it to life. Regulus is one of my all time favorite characters and I get really disappointed when he is portrayed poorly. You, however, did a perfect job with him, his characterization and his mannerisms. I like how he has this relaxed sense to him, but underneath his mind is going a million miles an hour about the what, who, when and where. Sirius is right he is afriad, but he doesn't want to have to admit that his brother, the outcast, is right. He is a very layered character.

I am glad that Sirius is back together with James. It is difficult to read when they aren't because it almost seems like something is missing. You just want them to get along all the time, but then again Sirius is so moody. Together they are just so darn mischivious!

I am curious as to what is going to happen next. I really think you're doing a fabulous job here with how you characterize your characters. They really stay true to themselves. I also think this flows naturally. I don't see anything that is messy when it transitions and it works well in respects to the other three chapters before it.

Keep up the awesome writing! =)
I hope these reviews are helpful!

-SR17

Author's Response: Hurray, so glad to hear that I pleased a Regulus fan! This is the first and only time I've attempted to portray Regulus, but I always thought he was a more complicated character than most people give him credit for. He must have admired Sirius very much when they were younger, and they were probably close as children. So he probably had his doubts about Voldemort too, but were not brave enough to question his parents. His ultimate decision shows just how conflicted he was.

Sirius and James are both moody in this story, James because of Lily and Sirius because of his slight jealousy of Lily taking up so much of James's time as well as his family problems. I figured that was how it probably was during their school years.

Thank you for your great reviews!


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Review #3, by ScorpiusRose17 They Couldn't Solve the Mystery

5th June 2012:
Hi there!

Here with your review. Sorry it is taking me awhile to get to the rest of the story, but I have been a bit overwhelmed with requests. I plan on starting the rest of your story this weekend.

Okay...I loved this chapter! I thought it was very clever and well thought out. I really enjoyed the characterization. James and Remus were hilarious! Follow the Wormtail! Hahahaha. Even though I could sense the foreshadowing and it made me uneasy because I know why Wormtail is doing what he is, you were still able to make it fun and intriguing. I really loved the banter. James was quite comical sitting at the table and giving Sirius dirty looks. You just really hit the nail on the head when it comes to James, Lily and Remus in this chapter.

I also really liked your descriptions. They were so helpful at painting a vivid picture in my mind as to what was going on and what everything looked like throughout the entire chapter. I thought that it flowed well especially from carrying over from the last chapter. The pace was steady and I didn't feel rushed as I read.

As for staying with the voice of the story, I think you're moving right along as the plot builds more. It is true to the two previous chapters so far. I don't think you're pulling away from it at all.

Keep up the awesome writing! =)

-SR17

Author's Response: That's awesome to hear. Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed the Peter bit. I figured this was as good a time as ever to explain my take on the roots of his betrayal.

Thank you for reviewing! Don't worry about the rest of the story. I am not concerned because the first 15 chapters were all written one right after another. It is only with the last handful that I've fallen off the wagon, haha.


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Review #4, by ScorpiusRose17 They Couldn't Find the Opportune Moment

28th May 2012:
Hi there! Here again with another review!

I really enjoyed this chapter just as much as the last one. It is longer, but filled with more details and descriptions. I can really get the sense of Lily going alittle mad over thinking so much about James. It is really relatable in a way that I am sure that each girl has at one time felt this way about a boy.

You did a great job characterizing her again in this chapter and her kissing James was so adorable! I really enjoyed their playful banter towards one another. I thought that the dialogue was free flowing and not troubled with messy transitions. I also liked the pace. For a longer chapter, I thought you did a great job balancing everything out to keep it moving along.

Again, keep up the awesome writing!! =) I hope that this review is helpful to you!

-SR17

Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Hello, thank you for reviewing! I'm glad that the chapter was interesting and flowed well despite the longer length. I'm happy you enjoyed it. Lily and James action is always so fun to write =]

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Review #5, by ScorpiusRose17 They Couldn't Avoid Overhearing a Top Secret Conversation

28th May 2012:
Hi there! I am finally here with your review!

I really liked the story line and I thought that you did a great writing this chapter. I really thought that it was well thought out and written. I liked seeing Lily look at James in a different light. Yes, I don't know the entire story before hand, but from what I can tell, you have done a great job characterizing your characters. I thought it was actually quite funny when Lily and Rosie were stuck in the bathroom and overheard James and Remus. I feel horrible for Remus for unknowingly telling Lily, but like you said, Lily is mature enough to handle this.

Rosie was an interesting OC and I am excited to see what else she goes through in this story. I also really liked the descriptions, emotions, mannerisms, and quirks of your characters. It provided a wonderful picture in my mind. I also really thought that the flow was natural and well balanced with the pace. You didn't have any messy transitions between.

I am planning on reading the entire story, but I figured I would start with the chapters that you requested first off and take my time with the rest if you are okay with that. Anyways... Keep up the awesome writing!

I hope that this review is helpful!

-SR17

Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm glad you thought it was funny. This story is supposed to be humor, but I wanted it to be mostly subtle, situational humor, almost like a Marauder sitcom. It is also good to hear that you can picture the characters and their expressions and actions from my description. Thanks again!

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Review #6, by JamesSiriusPotterLover They Couldn't Put It Off For Much Longer

26th May 2012:
I spent the last two days reading this, it's such a good story

Author's Response: Hurray! Thank you so much for reading all the way through and reviewing. It means a lot to me =]

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Review #7, by ccrayolaa They Couldn't Do What They Were Supposed To

1st June 2011:
honestly, i would love to see more of remus and rosie, they are so freaking adorable.

Author's Response: Haha, that's what you get when you put two unbearably sweet people together. But of course, each of them has a sharper side as well! Thanks for your review, I appreciate it.

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Review #8, by Erica They Couldn't Do What They Were Supposed To

1st June 2011:
Update soon. Please? It'll be greatly appreciated. This story is just so amazing. I'm hooked.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review. I hope to have another chapter done before summer ends. Fingers crossed!

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Review #9, by a reader They Couldn't Help the Hopeless Case

6th October 2010:
when do you think the eta of the next chapter will be

Author's Response: My goal is to update by New Years, but no promises. I'm now a working woman and have all but stopped writing, which is the worst. Thanks for your review, though, and I will try my hardest to update!

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Review #10, by v They Couldn't Help the Hopeless Case

3rd October 2010:
i reaally love your story ! Keep writing !

Author's Response: Thank you. I'm trying, I really am, but real life only gets busier as I get older! :(

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Review #11, by RemusJohnLupin They Couldn't Help the Hopeless Case

25th June 2010:
It's good but I think you need more about Rosie and Remus. They kind of drop off the face of the earth for awhile and while you mention them in this chapter you need more detail. Other than that it's great! Keep writing!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! Now that I finally started writing again, I feel inspired. Glad you liked it. =]

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Review #12, by Leigh Kelley They Couldn't Execute the Ultimate Plan of Vengance (Properly)

16th December 2009:
You know, this chapter was hilarious. There's just something in me that enjoys watching James squirm, especially when so many eyes are focused on him. Lily played her part well, that's for sure, but I guess any little bit of anything from her would be enough to do in James. Something tells me that she didn't even need the skirt. The words would have been enough, but it did act nicely in getting the ball rolling.

I have to agree with Remus and Peter. Not that much revenge, considering what happened in the end, haha. At least Sirius is champion now?

It was a nice story on a whole. Your characters, while not completely canon, were written in a believable way. I can't honestly complain about their portrayals, as it was quite nice to read about them and the situations they land themselves in. Your characterizations of them were lovely, and they always seemed in character.

Your writing was almost flawless. The errors were few, and mostly just typos. They did nothing to take away from the story, as they weren't particularly glaring.

Your use of description was very nice also. It's nice to see a story where there's attention to detail, and the scenes are set up so perfectly. I had absolutely no problems with seeing the characters and their surroundings, which was nice. The emotions, as I said before, were properly presented, and always did pull a reaction from me; whether it was to smile, sigh, groan.

Your dialogue was great, too. Nothing forced, and it all flowed well. There weren't any awkward moments, aside from those the characters were experiencing.

My only regret about the last few chapters is the total lack of Rosie. I did love the holiday chapters, but she seems to have disappeared. Maybe reintroduce her and the strained relationship she's having with Remus? I'd like to see if they'd be able to work past the issues they seemingly have.

I'd also eventually like to see more on Snape, the Slytherins, and Peter. That scene you had some chapters back seems to be important, and I hope it isn't chucked aside without being covered again.

Anyway, I really do like your storyline, and hope you find some inspiration for the next chapter soon. I'd like it if you re-requested when you do.

Keep it up!

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: Hey, it's been awhile since I've been active on HPFF, but it still warms my heart to read your kind reviews =] Thank you for all the compliments and for taking the time to write such extensive reviews! I did bring Rosie back in the next few chapters and some Remus/Rosie shipping does occur =D Thanks again!

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Review #13, by Leigh Kelley They Couldn't Resist the Overpowering Holiday Cheer, Part II

16th December 2009:
Fluffy.

I thought Lily would realise from the beginning who it was, but then I thought about how unexpected it all is, and also about her never having seen him in animagus form before. It was all a nice idea though, and perfectly executed. Did you come up with all of that? Either way, it was very creative, and rather cute. Definitely romantic, and I liked it.

Not much else to say here, so I'll move on to the next chapter. I'll give all my criticism (if I have any) at the end of that one.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: Yes, I made it all up. I guess I'm just a sappy romantic at heart. I thought since dogs are commonplace in the Muggle world, Lily would not have even thought to connect the two. Padfoot's sense of dog humor sure was fun to write! Thank you for the review.

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Review #14, by Leigh Kelley They Couldn't Resist the Overpowering Holiday Cheer

16th December 2009:
It's good to see that you haven't forgotten about Sirius and his home life. Although I am sure that he would rather spend his holidays elsewhere, this is as good a reason as any for him to return. I figured that he would still care for his brother somewhat, so it was good to see him trying to persuade Reg to not do it. Of course, he had to, or certain events would be thoroughly messed up, but I'm glad to see Sirius at least make an attempt. I feel that you did Regulus justice here, so I have nothing to pick on as far as his character is concerned.

So the boys are back together again. I was starting to think it wouldn't happen. And they are just like guys; no need to verbally apologize. Either way, I'm happy to see that he showed up at the Potters, and that they are planning Lily's present. Why do I get the feeling something disastrous is going to happen?

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: The relationship between Sirius and Regulus is one of the things I most enjoyed exploring in the course of writing this story. Based on his part in the books, Regulus is a very flexible character: some writers portray him as more Death Eater-y, others as less. I was always part of the second camp; I believe Regulus secretly looked up to Sirius until the end. He was simply not strong enough to resist the path that was cut out for him - he feared above anything angering his parents, losing his Slytherin friends, and ultimately Voldemort's power. But the way he died shows the impact that Sirius's resistance had on him. Never underestimate the power of a younger brother's admiration for his older brother =]

Thank you again for your reviews!


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Review #15, by Leigh Kelley They Couldn't Solve the Mystery

16th December 2009:
Not entirely keen with Lily knowing that three of the guys are animagi. I know that she just had to know and he couldn't avoid telling her forever, but she could have been a wee bit understanding. He could have easily made something up as well, no matter how guilty he feels after. I guess I just would have been more sold on the idea, if not entirely, if they were older. Just thought James would be less willing (to the point of anything) to divulge the secret and betray his friends.

Eh. James is an idiot. Remus is right; how can he expect Sirius to be okay with coming over when he left such a note? Even if Sirius had prior plans to go home, that note wouldn't have had the likelihood of him changing his mind and ditching his plans. Boys; honestly.

I had to laugh when they were busy just being teenagers though. It was great to see them joking around and trying to go spy on Peter, as it gave the chapter a more lighter feel.

I was beginning to wonder if you'd include a scene with the Slytherins, particularly Snape. We know that this is the year when Lily and him had the falling out, so I was wondering what you were going to do about that. I guess that you'll do something different, so I'll just have to wait and see.

I think you portrayed the Slytherins well. The pressuring, Snape's hesitation to call Lily a mudblood, Rosier being so annoyed that he's socializing with her. It was all very believable.

As for Peter. I was worried at first, thinking that he was somehow in that group of Slytherins, and that he would accidentally reveal himself. So I was relieved to know that he was spying on the lot as well, even if for different reasons. I'm glad you included that bit, for the mere reason that we get to see the darker side of him, the his friends didn't know about. And it gives us a reason; his want to be greater than his friends. So nice job with that.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: Thank you! I figured no Marauders story was complete without at least an attempt to explain WHY IN THE WORLD Peter would betray such kind, loving, loyal friendship. I thought fifth year seemed the appropriate time for him to begin to go astray. I'm glad I portrayed the Slytherins well because I am not used to writing evil characters! Usually they end up being too stereotypically "muahaha" evil or just plain insane. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #16, by Leigh Kelley They Couldn't Find the Opportune Moment

16th December 2009:
To be honest, I have been smiling since the moment she found James. I'm such a sucker for romantic moments, and this one was so well-written.

I can't believe how instinctive it is for her to want to help James. The others had some nicks as well, but she didn't rush off for bandages and such until she noticed his injuries. It's normal for her to have hesitated, given the way things are between them. But, she couldn't help but run her hand through his messy mop, and when he smiled, I smiled.

I think this works best the way you wrote it. If he had pushed her away, or left some angry words before storming off, it wouldn't have been near enjoyable, no matter how exciting such a scene would have been. In my opinion, it's high time that the two of them made up, so I'm glad his injury was a way to get them talking after her prior horrible, failed attempts.

It's good that you had her admit her mistakes, no matter how hard it must have been to do. In some...well most fanfics that centre around them as a couple, it's usually the other way around. So, I appreciate you taking this route, as it's actually pretty fresh.

Anyway, what all of my babble boils down to is, I'm glad that they made up. It's a long time coming, and they were obviously miserable without each other. Hopefully this will lead to his fully making up with Sirius as well.

Reading on!

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: Yes, despite her prickly exterior, I think Lily is a very caring, motherly figure deep-down. I don't know where I got that...probably the bit where she sacrificed herself for her child =] Anyway, you're right, her instinct is to help others who are in pain and suffering. It probably doesn't hurt that she has a little thing for James, either!

Ah, yes. I always thought that people tended to give Lily too much credit and James too little credit. After all, everyone has flaws and makes mistakes, even Lily Evans, and however obnoxious and arrogant he may have been, James Potter developed into a honorable, great man. =]

Thank you for your reviews!


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Review #17, by Leigh Kelley They Couldn't Avoid Overhearing a Top Secret Conversation

15th December 2009:
Wow. I love the conversation that Lily and Ro had, because it revealed some things that I am happy Lily finally admitted. It's good that she realises that James wasn't all to blame for what Sirius did, and that she sort of overreacted where he was concerned. I'm also happy that she's the one who is thinking about taking the step to apologize. She was the one in the wrong after all, and she is therefore the one who should seek him out and try to resolve their issue.

Heh. I always semi-thought that Lily was aware of what Remus was, though would still react somewhat surprised because she was right after all. You know, sort of like Hermione figured it out over the course of just a year. But, as you said, some of the things we thought don't matter because you've tweaked things to fit your plot. So this definitely works. Glad that she didn't stumble out of the stall when learning about it, or accuse Ro because it really wasn't her secret to tell. Sort of like James getting mad at Remus earlier because he thought that he had told Ro about their secrets.

You're really good at writing emotions. I can understand how everyone feels through their body motions, their expressions, and so forth. You're doing a good job at that portraying their moods to the readers, and I appreciate it. I hate having to guess to how a character is feeling, or seeing fuzzy, blank faces. Here, there's none of that.

Moving on, then.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! I wanted to have a scene in which Lily talked through her emotions, both because I think that's what she would have needed and also simply to catch the reader up on what's going on in her mind. It seemed most likely that she would open up to Rosie.

Good point, about Hermione figuring it out fairly quickly. I didn't have Lily find out until now, because I figured that if she knew she would insist on helping him immediately, which would have thrown off the story. =P


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Review #18, by Leigh Kelley They Couldn't Vocalize Their Feelings

15th December 2009:
Lily reacted just how I would have expected her to. The fact that your friend finally showed up to come and see you, is outweighed by the fact that they took so long to do it. And Rosie is so oblivious! Who else could Lily be asking about but James? Unless of course, she was trying to shield her from how James actually is acting, and I completely missed that. If not, going on about someone asking someone else to Hogsmeade isn't a bright idea. Does Rosie know that James hasn't been to see Lily yet? I can't recall if that was mentioned. Hm.

It seems to me that their relationships have just been suffering ever since they decided to do that spell. It seems to be having greater changes in them aside from sharpening their minds in regards to school work. They just all seem so moody and snappy, and I wish someone would realise that they need to life it once and for all, no matter how quickly they are getting through their work.

I still feel bad that the guys haven't mended their friendship. Each time I think they are coming to that point, something happens to set them back at square one. It's like Sirius can never say the right thing, because James reacts badly to each. Can't say I am liking him much right now.

Nice chapter though, and reading on.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: Rosie did realize that Lily was talking about James, of course, but she was being cautious because she could not be sure how Lily felt about him.

You are very perceptive - indeed the voices have been wearing on them. I hope it comes across that the voices are constantly speaking to them even when I don't write it into the story. And the voices are very different from each of their personalities, so the poor fifths are feeling more conflicted than ever! That's part of the reason why their attitudes and actions may seem a bit irrational. It is never advisable to mess about with illegal spells! =]

James is especially angry and cannot be placated because Sirius's actions have lost him [what might have been] his one chance at keeping his precious Lily. We all know how important that is to him. Fickle as it may be, once he and Lily reconcile, he becomes much more willing to forgive Sirius.


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Review #19, by Leigh Kelley They Couldn't Air the Room Out

14th December 2009:
Well, this chapter was necessary, and it's good that it surrounded just the guys alone. Even under the influence James can't relent, no matter how hard Sirius is trying to get him to. Sirius really is apologetic, but James is acting so...womanly. What the the hands perched on his hips, the sniffing and other things. Haha. He needs to let it go, and I hope it's before he and Lily maybe work out their feelings. Because, I'd hate for that to be the only reason he forgives one of his best mates.

This chapter was amusing too. I think I'm more like Peter, even if I haven't done it in so long. Giggling a bit then falling asleep is what I've heard I'm like in that state. I'd hate to be like James, or have someone around me who is like James, that is. Punishing me in a dangerous sort of way for my past transgressions just seems pretty scary.

But anyway, glad they got to argue it out a bit, as one-sided as it is. James got his revenge, but I think now Sirius may just be mad again. It's sad to watch them like this, but it is nice (or should I say realistic) to see even the best of friends fighting.

Onward then. Despite my prior hesitation because of it not being completely canon, I'm getting addicted to this story. It has everything to do with your writing, and a nice plot. Definitely :).

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: James is usually so macho, I couldn't help but throw in some of his feminine side for laughs through his drunk alter ego. I hope I didn't take it too far...I would hate to emasculate one of my favorite examples of masculinity =P

Thank you so much! I'm glad that it is addictive and you are enjoying it. I am enjoying your thorough reviews - it is very nice to read your responses and see that you understand where I'm coming from exactly.


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Review #20, by Leigh Kelley They Couldn't Party with the Children

14th December 2009:
Ah. I was wondering why Rosie didn't go to see Lily, though I'm not sure I like her reasons. After what her best friend did for her in the first chapter, with a guy she previously disliked no less, I would expect her to visit the girl when she is so obviously in pain. I dunno. It's just weird, no matter how horrific your friend can be at times.

Can't believe that James still isn't talking to Sirius. I thought after what he did, the whole thing would just blow over with a few laughs from the guys. Guys get over arguments faster; girls hold grudges. So it's just a hard thing for me to digest, haha. Maybe they'll make up later in the night? Guess I'll have to just go see.

Nice grammar as usual, and no errors that I can spot. Love your dialogue too; I don't feel that it's forced, at all, so that's good. Onward, then.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: Yeah, you're right about Rosie. I suppose I added that in to amp up the awkwardness - you know how awkwardness and tension seem to come in bunches in real life, feeding off of one another in a vicious cycle? That's the feeling I wanted to convey. She might still be shaken up and lost in her own thoughts from the night of the full moon.

Usually James and Sirius would brush it off and bro it out, but this involves LILY. Very different, haha.

Thank you again for all of your reviews!


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Review #21, by Leigh Kelley They Couldn't Kick the Hero While He was Down

14th December 2009:
So in spite of everything, Sirius can't help but stand up for his friend. I just knew that no petty argument could crush the strong bond of friendship that those boys share, so I am glad that you explored that through this chapter. Wish James could have at least got in a successful spell, but I had to laugh at Sirius, swollen hands and all, chasing some terrified Ravenclaw boys down the hall.

Speaking of which. I LOVE that the house-rivalry is between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. I'm so tired of the Slytherin/Gryffindor fighting. Honestly. Yes they couldn't get along, but were they the only two houses that had students that didn't get along with those from the opposing house? I don't think that's a realistic thought, so I'm more than happy to see them dueling some Ravenclaws.

Bah. Lily, Lily. Not very bright, but if she never flies, she wouldn't know how to properly land a broom as it is. Better to crash through the doors than through the window of McGonagall's office though, that's for sure. So despite the disaster, she made a slightly good decision.

So yeah, I loved this chapter, and definitely going to continue reading.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: I've tried in many ways to make this Marauders story unique, because there are so many of them out there, and the Ravenclaw rivalry is definitely one of them. I always pictured some Ravenclaws as slightly stuck-up, looking down upon the "idiots" from the other Houses.

Yeah broom-flying is not something Lily has much experience with. She did the best she could, under unfortunate circumstances. Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #22, by Leigh Kelley They Couldn't Believe Their Eyes

14th December 2009:
Uh-oh.

Didn't think that they would have such a big argument (one so grand it could destroy their friendship), but I can believe it. The way you wrote it, with James letting it seem that he is putting Lily above all else, and Sirius jumping on that just sold it for me. A silly argument blown way out of proportion and all because of Lily's silliness over a matter that James couldn't have possible controlled, yes, but you still managed to make it work. Just wished the two could have walked away and talked when their heads were cooler, but they are both too hot-headed for that, that's for sure. Hope they can solve their issues!

Wonder why Remus didn't come from his hiding place and try to stop the argument before it got so far. I know such a fight has never happened before, and he probably was too shocked to react properly, but as their friend he could have at least tried, even if say Rosie pulled him back or something. I dunno. I just find his lack of at least attempting something strange.

Other than that, I like that he talked to Rosie, and that she doesn't think any differently of him. At least one relationship survived full moon night x.o. It's going to be interesting watching them interact/not interact after this; the boys, I mean.

Reading on.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: You're right about Remus, actually. I was too engrossed in writing the other boys that I forgot he should be reacting as well. I'm going to change that right now! Thanks for all of your wonderful reviews. I truly appreciate them.

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Review #23, by Leigh Kelley They Couldn't Outrun the Quidditch Broom

14th December 2009:
Hum. I'm not sure that I like Lily's reaction to this entire thing. Even if James knew what had happened, he is not Sirius's keeper. He can't control the boy from doing the things that may affect his girlfriend. And if Sirius wants to snog everyone who wears a skirt, that's his business, and no one else's. I really wanted someone to slip her a chill pill. Is it the spell that has her acting so hormonal? James didn't deserve her yelling at him, and if she would stop and be the smart girl we know her to be, she'd realise that Rachel bragged to get a reaction from her.

James must really really like her to have run behind her like that. I would have personally stomped away; let her overdramatize everything if she so wishes.

BUT, at least she sees how ridiculous snogging a girl to get back at her brother is. It's the same way I feel. They were all being idiots, in some way or another.

Also, I like the way you wrote their emotions. Lily, while reacting senselessly, was written beautifully. The big blowup, then the emotions, then the inability to see reason. I could picture the scene perfectly, and that's definitely good. I like that she tries to fly away from it all; I had to laugh at the image reading that produced in my head.

Off to see what happens in the aftermath.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: Haha, "he's not Sirius's keeper" ... I just got a really funny mental picture. :P Of course, you're right about Rachel bragging to get a reaction and James not deserving this. But I personally expect my boyfriends not to have cretins as friends, so maybe that is Lily's view as well?

Thank you, I'm glad you could picture the scene.


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Review #24, by Leigh Kelley They Couldn't Shake the Feeling

14th December 2009:
So, Sirius is off the hook, somewhat. I like that there was a big blowup, at least. Him missing full moon night is completely unacceptable, though I'm not sure if they would have accepted his excuse so easily. James did almost get killed, no matter how much he tried to reassure Remus. If Sirius was there, it probably could have been prevented. So getting back at someone by proving that their sister has a nasty reputation as opposed to being killed just doesn't have an equal weight. I know James said that he isn't done being mad at Sirius, so I'll be curious if they'll be back to being chums without no true repercussions.

Hm. So Lily knows? Did she hear Rachel talking about it or something? Surprised Rosie didn't ask her where such information came from, but maybe that's being saved for a later chapter.

Lily's overreacting. I think she should do as Rosie said and just give it a chance. She doesn't even know yet if what Rachel is saying is truth, and considering the possible source of the information, I'm surprised she was quick to believe it. Guess I'll just have to read on to understand her reasons.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: Haha, oh there will be repercussions. Just because James accepted the excuse doesn't mean he was happy. I guess he liked a result without really approving how it was achieved. But none of this matters because he changes his mind very shortly. =]

Yes, Rachel bragged specifically to rub it in her face. So that's why Rosie didn't ask. I guess Rachel just pushes Lily's buttons especially easily [just like James, but in a bad way :P]


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Review #25, by Leigh Kelley They Couldn't Deny the Attraction

14th December 2009:
Well, Sirius is a bit...okay, really daft. I know he's feeling vulnerable and all, but of all the girls to chose to talk to. Might have been the only one present, but one would think he would smell a trick a mile away. And that spell really isn't working right for him. Ergh.

Since you asked, the thing I don't like about this chapter is Sirius allowing himself to get so distracted that he would forget a full moon night. It means a lot to Remus, and it was the reason they became illegal animagi in the first place, so for him to just up and forget is just...not like him. The other part of me likes this because it brings some conflict between the boys. I doubt you're sticking to canon so I guess Sirius won't be tricking Snape into almost getting killed on a full moon night? So I guess you'd need another reason for them to be upset with him, and this seems a good enough one.

I hope Rosie doesn't put it all together. I just don't want anyone to know about their illegal forms while still in school, girlfriends or not. Especially when they are still all in fifth year. But who knows; maybe my opinion will change as the chapters progress.

Nice action-filled chapter though, and very well-written.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: I'm glad you don't think of the voices as strictly good or bad - they're whatever the situation and the characters make of them, much like other spells.

Sirius is feeling quite confused, with the spell anxiety and being jealous of James [or Lily?] That doesn't excuse his behavior, of course, but without stupid behavior there would be no stories. =]

Haven't yet decided whether to include the Snape Whomping Willow scene yet, but after what James overhears Snape saying in a future chapter, I'm afraid he might not step in to save him. So, yeah, probably not.

Thank you for all your reviews! I really appreciate them.


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