write more, i need more i read this story like every day!
its soo good 1 more chapter please! Report Review
this story is very interesting and i hope to see all of the Weasley brothers to apologize to Harry. will uupdate soon please?^_^
10/10 all chapters
Harry and Ginny Report Review
make the next chapter!!! this story is hilarious!!! lol,i burst out laughing when harry ran away!!! Report Review
WRITE MORE!!! Go ginny! I think Harry sould hex the whole lot of them and Percy should go die in a hole. :P sorry I got caught up in the story, it is good. Report Review
It was a little out of the blue, don't get me wrong Harry definetly should have done something like this! :) Report Review
you certainly got me hooked.
really very nice.a very expected reaction from Ron
but still very nice..
they scared dean.lol Report Review
Wow! Percy is just heartless! It's pretty good so far. It'd be interesting to see how it all ends. By the way, I've updated my story "Raising A Hero 2:The Darkness of Hogwarts Past". Chapter 4 is waiting to be validated. I hope you check it out when it goes up. I like the Harry/Ginny concept in this story, with the brothers having an issue with the relationship. Keep it coming! Report Review
omg ron is getting pissed haha love chapter Report Review
yay another chapter love this story! WOW hury up with the next chapter and i will tell every one i know about this story! Report Review
This is like the third time i read this story LOVE IT! Report Review
Another interesting chapter. I'm pretty sure that Hermione would have joined Ginny and Molly in rushing to Harry's aid and getting him to the hospital wing. I love the description of Ginny emerging from behind the screen "ruffled but happy." And Molly finally steps in and puts her sons in their place.
I like Harry once again depending on his girls, but I still wish he'd stand his ground, rather than fleeing from the brothers. I also think that it is interesting that Ginny first tells them to leave Harry alone, but then sends them after Harry to "fix things." I still think that there should be a bat or two (or thirty) in someone's furture (probably Percy's). It's not wise to ignore Ginny. At least Bill and Ron seem to have seen the light.
But the big question is "Percy - Prat or just an idiot ?"
I'm looking forward to the next chapter. 9/10 Report Review
I love Hermione standing up to the brothers. Her intervention to save Harry and and seperate him and Ginny from their wrath was brilliant. As was her discourse on Ron. Ron has now lost his girl friend, his best friend, his sister, and potentially his parents and home. And of course, it is all still Harry's fault. I hope Ron has fun snuggling with Percy.
The battle with Voldemort was interesting. Of course, Harry would be willing to sacrifice himself for the prats. With the 'complicated hand gestures', it seems Harry is doing some pretty decent wandless magic. And in some ways, I'm pleased that you have Harry defeating Voldemort relatively easily and without Dumbledore's help. I can picture Harry having a Foghorn Leghorn moment with Voldemort at the end. (Go away, boy. You're botherin', I say, you're botherin' me)
Really your best chapter yet. 9/10 Report Review
Seems to me like Arthur and Molly should have had a stronger reaction. Something along the lines of 'This is our house. You do not kick someone out of our house who (1) is here at our invitation (2) for doing something that we have approved of. If you don't like what our guest is doing, then you come to us and we'll take action if we deem it necessary. As it is, you chased Harry out of the house for doing something WE approved of.' At this point, given that none of the boys are actually living at home except Ron, Molly throws a raging tantrum and heaves all of her sons out of the house. 'You want to control how a house runs, go run run your own. You can also do all of your own cooking and laundry. Ron, go stay with the twins.' Something like this would actually have Arthur and Molly standing up for what they think is right, have Molly acting in character (ooh, that temper), and some actual consequences to the boys, other than 'gee, its too bad that Mum and little sis won't talk to us.' For the brothers continued vendetta against Harry, it would give more motivation. 'First he took our sister, now he has taken our parents and home'.
The reunion scene at the Station was well done.
I can understand Dean (and Seamus) being mad at Harry and Ginny, but I have trouble seeing them ally with Ron. Afterall, HE is responsible for the breakup between Ginny and Dean in the first place. If Ron's not responsible for breaking up Ginny and Dean, then Harry's not in the picture anyway (or at least not yet). Yes, he probably should be mad at Ginny for moving on so quickly under the circumstances, and Harry for taking advantage of things, but Ron is the root of his problems, and he should still be furious with him.
I like the scene between Harry and 'his two favorite girls'. The new sleeping arrangements are nice, but I assume that we can expect another hissy fit from Ron.
I continue to enjoy. 8/10 Report Review
Interesting chapter. Your writing style seems a little disjointed, as there doesn't seem to be any paragraph longer then three sentences. While this can work in places, in this chapter it seems to not let things flow along as well as they might otherwise. And I still think that your pacing needs to be a little slower.
Nice to finally have a reaction from Dean about Ginny's moving on so quickly, but it still probably should have been last chapter, with him continung to smolder now, which is only a couple of days later.
I thought Harry's decision to confront the brothers was a good choice, but I was disappointed in how it played out. Giving Ginny the special present in front of the whole family, then having the kiss and the admission that they are now together gains the approval and support of Arthur and Molly for the new couple in front of the brothers. This is a brilliant pre-emptive move, as Molly in particular is now vocally on their side. Once Molly and Ginny left the room, I thought Harry should have stood up to the brothers a little bit more. Fred says Ginny can have anyone, which Bill echoes. I thought Harry should have responded with something like "Really ? You think Ginny can have anyone ? So that's why you ran off Michael, then Dean, and are trying to run me off. I guess you think she can have anyone, just so long as she doesn't try to DATE him."
I thought the scene with Harry moving into Ginny's room was rushed. First of all, to my memory, Ron and Hermione weren't even dating at this point, so I don't think Molly would have approved of that arrangement. Secondly, she just found out about Harry and Ginny, and she is going to immediately going to apporve them being in a room together ? Maybe him in the room with Ginny with Hermione there as a chaperone of sorts. Harry could have explained his reasoning a little better. "Look, Ron and the other boys are really upset with me for dating Ginny. They've already threatened me, and I'm afraid of what they might try to do to me if they can get to me when I'm asleep. I don't want to hurt them, but I'm not willing to hurt Ginny by leaving her alone like they want." This would give better reasons for the move, and also possibly get Molly (who's temper they all fear) to intervene on his and Ginny's behalf.
Ron is an idiot. The girl of his dreams is going to be sleeping in the same room with him, and he can't even spare a "Hot Dog!" or stronger sentiments before going ballistic about Harry and Ginny's arrangements ? I would like to have seen Harry challange the brothers more when they invade Ginny's room. "I'm not leaving Ginny. If you don't like it, you'll just have to hex me." Of course, Ginny would stand beside him at this point, with "And me." Hermione comes in on Harry's other side, "And me." Having heard the ruckus, Arthur and Molly come in behind the brothers with a show of support for the couple, "And us." At this point, I think the brothers would have been forced to back down, at least for now.
When Harry decided to leave, it seems that he is doing what he criticized Dean for doing, although he does promise to be back. I was hoping that he would pull Ginny, and maybe Hermione onto the broom with him (How many does a broom hold ?).
The slapping scene was well done, expecially Hermione stepping in to nail Ron, but I expected Bats (at least from Ginny). Are they witches or what ? And given the fear that the boys have displayed for both Ginny and Molly's tempers, I would have thought at least some of them would be headed for cover.
The picture of Harry and Ginny and Harry's view of the Weasley family as a whole were well done.
Looking forward to next chapter. 8/10 Report Review
OK. Well, we knew THAT was going to happen. Nothing like going to sleep where EVERYONE is going to find you. And while I'm sure Hermione is beautiful (of course, my image is Emma Watson), I imagine that you meant to say that she looked 'delighted', as opposed to 'delightful'. Then again...
I have a little bit of a problem with Ron's reaction. While it is true that he has always played the over protective older brother, and had fits about Ginny dating Michael Corner and Dean, and commenting that she was way too popular for her own good, he has also seemed at times to have been interested in pushing Harry and Ginny together. At the end of CS, he looks at Moaning Myrtle and tells Ginny 'Well, it looks like you have some competition' for Harry. In GF, he suggests that Ginny be Harry's date for the Yule Ball, and in OotP, he looks hopefully at Harry after hearing that Ginny has broken up with Corner, but before hearing that she has decided to date Dean. Some more insight into why Ron felt the way he did would have been nice.
Also, having just been chased off from Ginny by her brothers, Dean seems awfully forgiving to have been up in the dorm room with Ron. And some reaction from him about having just broken up Ginny the night before, and to now find her snuggled up sleeping with Harry in the Common Room, then them snogging and Ginny's declaration that she and Harry are now dating seems to require SOME reaction from Dean. I mean, Ginny has still gotten over him and moved on to her next relationship pretty quickly.
And where did the brothers go ? They show up at Hogwarts, break up Dean and Ginny, and then go home ?
I do like your story. It just seems to me that you need to slow the pace a little bit, give us more details, and consider how the characters would react and why they would react that way. Still, some improvement over Chapter 1. 8/10 Report Review
Interesting start. One suggestion about a possible correction on re-editing. I assume at the end of the chapter when Harry talks about someone comforting him after the death of Sirius, you mean for it to have been Ginny. However, your sentence is "When HE comforted me about Sirius I was shocked." Since this is Harry talking about the start of his feelings for Ginny, It should be "When YOU comforted..."
Now, as to the story itself, well, I tend to be an easy mark for Harry/Ginny stories. Again, this is not a bad first chapter, but it seems to be awfully rushed. First, we probably needed to actually see the scene of Ginny comforting Harry, and maybe some of Harry's discussion with Hermione. As it is, Ginny is feeling "betrayed" by her brothers, and can't believe that they have "ruined" her life. Harry is "heartbroken" to see Ginny so upset and crying. And suddenly, they are snogging and declaring their love for each other ? Gee, got over Dean pretty quickly, didn't she ? She should go thank her brothers for running Dean off, since it gets her Harry almost immediately. I realize that Ginny has always loved Harry, and that Harry probably REALLY started to notice her during Christmas during OotP when she confronted him about being the only other person who knew what it felt like to be possessed by Voldemort. It just seems to me like it would have flowed better if Harry comforts her for at least a few days over her hurt before declaring his love and her responding. This way really makes them seem to be pretty shallow.
And what exactly were ALL of her brothers doing at Hogwarts ? By this point, Ron is the only brother with a legitimate reason for being there. Perhaps some explanation of Ron issuing a call for assistence, 'because with got to get this git away from our sister.' would have been nice.
And of course, they go to sleep in a place where Ron is assured of finding them. Oh well.
I'll talk to you again after I read the next chapter. I give you a 7/10 for this chapter. It is a nice start, but seems to me to have some problems with pacing and what we are actually told. Report Review
omg omg omg omg !! i love how they are always yelling at the bros and why is percy such a prat??Author's Response: i love to yelling part too! they are fun to write. I just thought that percy was such a prat in book six that he deserved to be a prat in this stroy too lol
kat Report Review
aw how beautifull, i love ur imagination!! where did u come up with those bubbles?? Report Review
very very very good!! i loved it! Report Review
omg!! i thought that Harry would stay and yell at them or something!! wahhh!! =( Report Review
oh no ... somethings going to happen ... i really like this story Report Review
oh very interesting ... ill jus have to keep readin then , Report Review
Seemed a little sudden and rushed but I'll keep reading... Report Review
cool, gr8 work...update soonAuthor's Response: thx for reading and reviewing Report Review
love you story. keep on writing. Update as soon as you can please. Report Review
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