Reading Reviews for A Day In The Life of Me
  
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Review #1, by SilverThimble A day in the Life of Me

2nd February 2008:
Hello there, SilverThimble from the forums here :)

First of all, sorry, but I don't really like your title. It's a little, well, undramatic and doesn't exactly fit the story.

This is about the third story I've read that was entered for this particular challenge, and they've all been written in the same, almost biographical style. Now I'm not sure if this was the actual rules for the challenge, it didn't really pull me in. I think you did quite a good job with getting into the character's mind, but it might have made more of an impact had it been less of a , like the title, "day in the life" sort of thing.

Oh, another thing : did I scroll past it, or did you never actually say who the Death Eater was? I mean, it's fairly obvious that it was Rodolphus by the end, but seeing as you weren't trying to keep his identity a secret, you could have slipped it in there once or twice.

Some of your insights were really great, if a little strange from what we see of Rodolphus in the books. I guess it's open to interpretation, but he was maybe a little too unsure. Ach, like I said, its your call as we know next to nothing about him. :) And you explained it quite well: She was the one thing taht kept me from doing what a seventeen yar old boy did . As in, he would have killed Voldy himself if not for Bellatrix. (unless I misunderstood?)

Oh, and this sentence was really great too: The standards for what a perfect world was defined long before he came along- very nicely worded, very dramatic :D

Only one more thing (I promise) : a few typos here and there, especially towards the end (I'm guessing you dislike typing as much as I do). And a few slang words that aren't entirely in keeping with the Pureblood way of life (or whatever) :hang out, Man oh man, produce an heir off of her (?), random, just for the heck of it, hot bath or shower really hard. Alright, the last could be argued, but it sounds too... teenage-ish or something. :)

Hope I wasn't too harsh, but I personally love harsh reviews, so...

Overall, 74% (I'm going with percentages now so as to be precise xD)

Author's Response: Thanks for pointing out the title to me. I couldn't think of one at the time of posting, so I put the generic one in there. I just haven't gotten around to fixing it, or figuring out a new one.

No I never did say who the Death Eater was until the very ending of the story. I will go back over the story and seeing where I can place his name into the story.

No, you understood correctly what I meant by the statement of how he wanted to kill Voldemort.

I am glad that you like that one sentence--I think it sums up the story.

I will go over the story again and look at those typos and slangs and make them more Purebloodish.

Thanks for the review! I appreciate it.


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