Reading Reviews for Tell Me
  
68 Reviews Found

Review #1, by JustAGryffindorGirl Tell Me Sirius Black

7th June 2011:
Ok this one Actuly made me cry! I loved it though.Just sad.Ocne again i loved the chapter.Just sad.

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Review #2, by JustAGryffindorGirl Tell Me James Potter...

7th June 2011:
Sad!If theres anything in the series that makes me cry its when they die and the maruaders.It kills me.You wrote this very well though.Cant wait untill i read the next chapters.

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Review #3, by AC_rules Tell me Albus Dumbledore

1st May 2009:
you don't have to validate it over the top, when you go on manage stories theres a set of arrows where you can move all the chapters about to the right order...

I think that would work,

anyways, found this through someone elses review and I LOVE it, such a brilliant idea! Pure brilliance

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Review #4, by X_slytherianprincess_X Tell me Albus Dumbledore

4th November 2008:
amazing! Just.god I can't even describe it. It's so good

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Review #5, by shadowycorner Tell me Albus Dumbledore

20th May 2008:
Wow, you really did Dumbledore justice. The parallel between Ariana and Harry was magnificent, a great story device. Once again the 'ghost' whispering managed to send shivers, and the ending of the chapter did not disappoint me in its poignance and beauty. The fourth paragraph where Dumbledore wonders about what will Harry grow into, and reminisces about Lily...that was very touching and you managed to capture those mentioned characters fantastically even in the words and thoughts of somebody else. This entire story collection is amazing. Even if your grammar is shaky, you have a way with words where thoughts and emotions are concerned, and that's great. With work, beta reader...you're bound to write one amazing story afterwards, which would be a novel or something. By the way, do you plan something like that?

Also, aw, thanks for mentioning me in the author's note. I am always happy to help. Oh and i was wondering...what does the PS: review list means?

I can't wait for Voldemort and especially Harry. Good luck! :)

PS: Since I shake my fists at grammar (in a friendly way) i thought of suggesting that when you use 'don't you', 'haven't you', etc. in a sentence, it always ends with a question mark, because by putting the phrase in, you are questioning the aforementioned statement. And don't forget to put commas before the voice talks to the given person by name. Before and after Albus Dumbledore comes a comma. :)

Other than this, the chapter was grammatically fine, I see you've improved. :)

Author's Response: thanks again for reviewing.
im glad you liked it ( i was worried that im losing it - which i probably am) and i will take this luck you seem to be giving me and try to put it to good use.
As for the novel - i DO love writing SOOOO much and my life ambition has been to be a writer since i was ten (im now close to eighteen to give some perspective), and i have been working on a couple of HPFF novel ideas, but my school work has magnified a thousand fold for the HSC and they've been put on hold. I've also been working on an original novel (or six) ... but that'll never happen.
as for my grammer. o^_^o ; it does need work, however with the 'dont you' - how im writing it (from my angle anyway) the ghost is telling them what they already know... in my book it's not really a question but stating a point.
i look at it everytime i post something and then i look at it again and i stick with that decision. but it's up to you readers how you read it.
thanks again.
love SF
Ps: my review list is my way of publically thanking my reviewers. I doubt people look to see who's reviewed a story, and i just want to show them. 'see these are the people who review! these are angels!'
ahem.
ignore me.


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Review #6, by imperfectionist Tell me Albus Dumbledore

18th May 2008:
This is a really good chapter. Though it is short, it is really well written. Dumbledore is perhaps the hardest character to get into the mind of. Well done.

Author's Response: thank you thank you.... * dips hat*

Voldie should be next ... now all i have to do is find the book i wrote it in... o.O


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Review #7, by blithering_humdinger Tell me Albus Dumbledore

18th May 2008:
WOW!! i loved the bit about lily and the way she changed from hating james to loving him!!
its arianA!!! good grief, get it right!! im only joking, i love this story too much to be able to stay angry at it forever.
last time i gave you three thumbs up and you told me to get my third one checked out... so i did and the doc said the third one only pops up when i really like a story on harrypotterfanfiction. so that leaves me with just one thing to say. 3 THUMBS UP FOR ANOTHER AMAZING CHAPTER.

:)

Author's Response: SORRY! *cowers*
i was looking over the chapter after i posted it and i was like "*insert naughty words here* " - the moment i looked at it i knew i'd gotten it wrong. see i was updating my names list and Ariane is in the book i was reading, and Arian is the name of a major character in a book i'm writing at the moment, therefore the major mixup. i didn't edit it in the queue cause the line up said it would take ten days as it was - and it took twelve anyway! Excuses aside, im glad that you wont stay angry - the mistake will be rectified! - just not for a while.
I'm so glad that that thumb of yours isn't anything serious - quite the reverse it seems! ^_^ and im quite happy that it has returned to praise me again!
thanks for sticking by me!
love SF


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Review #8, by Twiggy Tell me Albus Dumbledore

18th May 2008:
WELL!
Once again my friend, you astonish me. It was perfect. I think you hit the right note and that you understood Dumbledore completely. About the guilt, the end justifying the means; all of it.
And I LOVED the end, I think you made a valid point. You really do see everything and you word it all in the most simple, uncomplicated way that still manages to have the biggest impact.

I loved it all, but you always sum it up in the best possible way; which is why I keep re-reading the end paragraph with shivers running down my spine (and envy sprouting up in my stomach).

"Give it time Albus Dumbledore; the world works in mysterious ways. You know that. Don’t sign his life away yet Albus Dumbledore. Give it time. Let him live. Let him love. Let him know the price. He’ll pay it. After all, he is his parents son. "



I think the bit above was probably my favourite of this chapter. Stunning, beautiful, poignant writing. I'm still ever so glad its on my favourites. And I think this probably is one of the best stories on this site; so people had better give you the praise and recognition you deserve!

10/10 as always. And please do, update soon.

Author's Response: thanks once again!! Dumbledore was quite the challange, and im very happy that you liked the end. they're by far what i work on most - and it obviously pays off if i give you shivers! Im truely honoured that you envy me - i know the feeling EXTREMELY well. i think i envy something from about every story i read. there's always something really good in a story and im like 'damn why didn't i think of that?'. it makes me so happy that i get to be the other person for a little while.
all the advice i can give is work at something until you can't ask anymore questions. if everything you want answered is answered, and you've asked the questions YOU want to ask, then it's all you can do. it's up to others to make up their minds.
and i thank you Twiggy for siding with me!
(you still make me blush so you know)
love SF
as for updating, it will be a little while, i just realised that i have an assignment for every single subject i have due in the next two/three weeks.
it'll be up soon!
never fear!
.... now i've just got to find the time to type it out!


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Review #9, by BonnieWritter Tell me Albus Dumbledore

17th May 2008:
Ahh, don't matter. I'm really pleased 'cause I got to see my name in print! :D So, where's my medal? I think I got the message...

Brilliant chapter. I was a little intimidated by this story to begin with. Don't ask why 'cause I don't know. Keep up the good work!

Best bit was the paragraph about Harry's parents. You've made them and summarised them well in that paragraph.

Hope to read Voldemort's Chapter soon,

~ BonnieWritter

10/10 - for being creative and different in your story telling. Even if your copping from someone else. You different here!

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Review #10, by Padfoot36 Tell me Albus Dumbledore

17th May 2008:
I've come back to review your next chapter! I was really exicted when you told me in the last chapter that Albus was coming up. He really is one of my top favorite characters even though some of that changed when I read DH. I aboustely devoured this chapter. I love how you really focused on the ideal taht Albus knew that Harry would die, knew that he would pay the price.

Aboustely amazing, as always.

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Review #11, by iluvharry81 Tell Me James Potter...

17th May 2008:
I think that in this story James sounded like self conceited father being he was worrying more about himself then Lily and James. But other than that it's pretty good

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Review #12, by Tor Petty Tell me Albus Dumbledore

17th May 2008:
Great job! It's really neat to hear an author admit that a certain chapter intimidated them.

As a certain side note, the last line was chilling. Interesting, but chilling all the same.

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Review #13, by Padfoot36 Tell Me Peter Pettigrew

6th May 2008:
So I've seen your story around, I kept seeing the flames and Tell Me. I never read it because I never actually took the time to read it honestly. Well it just happened I was looking through somebody's favorites and I noticed your story on it. It was like the fifth time I had seen it in a favorite list so I decided to give it a read.

By the first chapter you had me hooked, I love the different form of writing and I only got sadder as each chapter went on. I'm currently writing a one-shot that goes through the marauder's feelings but nothing compares to the detail taht you've written it in. It might just be the style but really everytime I feel like I'm asking the same question to them.

I'm going to add this to my favorite that's for sure and I'll make sure to review when a new chapter goes out because I understand how much readers love them.

Author's Response: wow. well i'm glad that someone converted you! lol. i'm glad that you stopped by to read it, i didn't know that it was so popular on the favourites lists, so that makes me even happier. Good luck with your marauder fic, i'll check it out at some point. promise. I kinda feel bad for intimidating you, no thats the wrong word. anyway, ignore me and write what ever comes to you! A Marauders fic comes from the heart i believe, or at least with this subject matter. imagine and write what comes to you. they have a story to tell, let them tell it.
as for you adding this to your faves. i am truly honoured.
good luck with your fic. and i look forward to seeing you back when Tell me Albus Dumbledore appears out of the queue.
love SF


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Review #14, by shadowycorner Tell Me Peter Pettigrew

2nd May 2008:
This was really good. I only have to say that some flashbacks were unnecessary, because you conveyed the meaning in Peter's thoughts just enough. Anyway, good job on not trashing the Peter before, finally making it clear that he was a Marauder for some reason. It is great that you noticed and wrote that at school Peter was royalty just as well, maybe not in such a glorious light as the others, but he was nonetheless.

The parallel between Peter' regrets (whether he regrets losing his friends or the power he was promised), well...that was the best thing about this chapter. Okay, I've read it all now and I'm looking forward to Voldemort, Albus and other characters you come up with.

As to answer your question whether you should add more about Petunia, well, if I'm to be honest, I think the first chapter with her was just enough. There's really no need to write another one about her memories, in my opinion. As well as writing more chapters with characters that have already made an appearance. Your summary states that all these point of views center around the infamous event on Halloween, so it'd be best to keep it that way. However, that's just me, and it's your story, so feel free to do whatever you feel is the best. :)

Liz

PS: Maybe if you can't think on what other characters you should use, I can give you an idea...it's be a tad more complicated and would probably be shorter than the rest, so maybe it could serve as an epilogue of sorts. How about do a "Tell me, Harry Potter..." It's certainly a challenge, since you'd have to dig in the perspective of a one-year-old boy, but since children are sensing and observing the world as well, in their own little and much more creative way, it could be very interesting. :)

Author's Response: Yeah, i've been reading through a couple and i can see a couple of unnecessary flashbacks for Peter, but again i'll fix all that in the editing. I like to see Peter as someone who made a wrong choice, but then when he realised his mistake he couldn't go back - he'd gone too far. As for the remaining chapters i think there's just going to be Frank, Dumbledore, Hagrid and Voldie - with a little Harry/Narrator on the end. so five more to go it seems. I'm still contemplating changing Petunia's as Dumbledore's is slightly the same as hers, so it might not matter as much. anyhow. Thanks for taking your time to critically evaluate my story so far. I really appreciate it.
love SF


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Review #15, by shadowycorner Tell Me Alice Longbottom

2nd May 2008:
When Alice describes Lily at the beginning, my heart almost cracked. You gave off the vibe of a powerful friendship between these two women and Lily...that's exactly how I envision Lily.

"Everyone always saw Lily, but Frank was the one who saw you."

The most beautiful thing in this story so far. It's such a simple line, but to me...as soon as I read it, it just stood out to me and made my heart go all sadly warm.

And once again, you just kill me with the endings. This one, just like with Sirius, was remarkably well-written, simply fantastic. Also, I think I finally understood the voices. It gives the story an ethereal feeling, especially in this chapter, when the voice thought back on the river, promises and the 'the wall of the dead'...truly, I am in awe from this chapter.

Author's Response: thankyou!!!! I love this one, so i'm glad it had such an effect. I kinda see Neville in Alice - and that's where this idea came from, that Lily was the popular one and Alice got passed over. But then in true romantic style Frank swept her off her feet!!! *sigh*.
I do work hard on the endings. They're quite hard to write, but i want to get them right. So i'm glad you thought i have.
thanks again.
SF


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Review #16, by shadowycorner Tell me Severus Snape

2nd May 2008:
Don't glare at people who don't review, lol. Reviews aren't everything, and if somebody stumbles upon this, they might get really put off. You have to firstly think that you are writing for yourself and even though the reviews are a beautiful, beautiful treat, they remain...just a treat. It's the writing that counts, how it makes you feel and what you are trying to convey through it, it's not the recognition. I can tell you that your story, even with its spelling mistakes and such, is far more better than some of those over-reviewed Dramiones or any other piece that appeals to the masses. i can assure you that most of the reviews are one sentence long, which only informs you about how great it is, but nothing on how the story made them feel or what you could improve. Remember that one proper review is better than twenty I loOved it, it was gr8t! Update soon! And also, many people read, love, but don't review. They should, yeah, but..you know. :D

Ok, now that my rambling is over, let me get to the chapter. Oh how bittersweet for Severus. But how real and true that we all make mistakes, and those huge are destroying us forever. He was in character, he was incredible in this chapter. Questions such as "Tell me, Severus, what was it like to hear that laughter?" really conveyed the entire feeling of this chapter: regretful, bitter, heartbroken.

And finally "No, you left her." was the best. Once again a great ending, because even JKR said that had it not been for his choice to join Voldemort, Lily might've perhaps loved him. Aw, now I am sad! But then, it's good that he did, because then we wouldn't have my lvoely, lovely Lily/James. On to the next chapter.

Author's Response: not to make excuses, but at the time, this was no where near at it's review count that it is at the moment. i think i had about three and about a read count of about three hundred. So i was a little peeved. But that doesn't matter anymore - besides you're totally right about the longer reviews!!! ^_^
i'm glad you liked Severus' - it's one of my favourites. Thanks again.
SF


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Review #17, by shadowycorner Tell me Remus Lupin

2nd May 2008:
Poor, poor Remus. The last sentence, once again, perfect. I love how you close your chapters. It's really good. I don't like when authors make good chapters and then the end is somewhat far-off and doesn't close it up the proper way, but your endings are too cool. I also liked the small, riveting flashbacks. There were only two of them, yes? But they were so nice and fitted well with Remus' inner dialogue.

Anyway, i might be getting annoying, but dear...commas. Really, your story is beautiful, amazing, but really it would be perfect had it not been for the missing commas. Don't get me wrong, I'm not so petty or anything, but sometimes I really have to read some sentences more than once in order to place the words in their right form and place. Even sentences like this..."you know that don't you Remus". I mean, yeah, everyone gets it, but it's supposed to go like "you know that, don't you, Remus?" See what I mean? Then the reader just flies over the entire chapter, awed by the writing, not having to stop here and then to reread. Same goes with dialogue. You speak through your characters wonderfully, but once again...

"We'll find him Remus." Dumbledore says.

but, it should go like this...

"We'll find him, Remus," Dumbledore says. Remember that always when you use he/she says, sighs, yells, shouts etc...the thing they say should end with a comma. :) It took me ages once I've learned this, but everything's so much better once you get the hang of it. Okay, and from now on I will shut up with the grammar, which i myself am rather poor at, and just comment on the story. I just wanted to help. :)

Author's Response: And i thank you. I'm quite grateful that someone's picking on me about the grammer. I know i'm really quite crap at it. I do try - but as i've said before i get a little caught up in getting reviews that i sometimes skip over things. I will go over these chappies extensively. I just want to get all of them up at the moment. I have a problem at finishing my big projects so i'm just going one step at a time and then when they're all up i'll re-edit and there'll be a big "REVISED AND RE-EDITED" in the speel and i'll be really happy. But until then i'll leave them as is and for new chappies i'll go over them just for you!!!
love SF


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Review #18, by shadowycorner Tell Me Sirius Black

1st May 2008:
This one was AMAZING! And the end, the last paragraph...flawless in its meaning and poignance. I'm not even going to explain too much, but you captured Sirius pretty well and you made me feel so...so heartbroken. When he saw James (I always crack at the very thought of their brotherhood being torn by death) and what got me most was when he spotted Harry, how you said at the sight of him for a moment all the anger vanished. I don't know...it was incredibly tender. Then there were things a bit choppy (don't get me wrong, your vocabulary and writing style is wonderful, but sometimes the missing commas and flow of a sentence or two really confuse me), but you SO overshadowed it by the little interludes like I mentioned, and especially the last paragraph. Great, great job.

Author's Response: Thanks for the constructive criticism, i really appreciate it. I'm glad you liked this one. I too crack up at the thought of the broken friendship! James and Lily is what keeps me on the Harry Potter band wagon at the moment. i LOVE them and their ill fated story. Makes me tear up! Anyway i'm glad you liked this one and i look forward to more of your constructive criticism. i love it.
someone has answered my prayers! (not that i dont love the declarations of love of course!! ^_^)
love SF


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Review #19, by shadowycorner Tell Me Lily Potter...

30th April 2008:
Lol, the 'narrator' sounds like a psychological maniac that just keeps asking and asking until your head blows off! So, I really liked the last line. And if I can suggest anything, I'd say that you could use maybe different expressions and phrases for tell me...because it's okay to use it a few times throughout the chapter since it's kind of stitching the story up, but I'm sure it would make the story feel more fresh with a wider wording choice. I'll finish the rest later, I guess. I must sleep or I'll doze off and you'll get a review along the lines of 'gnjgjgbwjegbf[qehtfqhroiwhtwrnwhtw4tbjjdg' which will be typed by my forehead. xoxo, Liz
PS: I'd be interested in what Bellatrix had to say about the events, but that's because I'm obsessed with her. Also Frank. And um...I don't know, my brains are racked.

Author's Response: yeah, they kinda do. But to me they're a ghost who keeps asking because really the living can't hear them. They're asking when they already know the answer - they're asking because they want the character to ask themselves and then find the answer. God i'm repeating myself here. I see what you mean with the 'tell me' bit, i have that phrase on finger redial of sorts, but again it's sort of how i see it being asked. It's not so much a question really but more of a statement or order. tell me or else. i'll have a play around with some later chappies just for you.
thanks again - especially taking the time to review when you're tired!!! lol
anyway you will see something from Frank, and Bella does make an appearance - but i can't really think of something to do with her as yet. something might come to me, but it yet may be a while. till then
toodles
love SF


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Review #20, by shadowycorner Tell Me James Potter...

30th April 2008:
Well, I must admit that yes, this chapter was a bit blotchy, but all can be fixed and I really liked some parts. Firstly, though, I think that you should proofread your chapter a few times before you post because there are some typos and errors that could be easily spotted and corrected even without a beta. It makes it easier and more enjouyable for the reader and also makes your work more shiny. And I don't know if that was intentional, but you used 'You've done all you can' two times in one paragraph and unless it is deliberate it'd be better to prevent it. Secondly, it was interesting and strange to read about James in the first paragraphs as he describes his feelings toward Harry and the danger they're in because of him. I honestly doubt that James, with his personality and all the love, would ever hold such emotions toward his beloved son. Sure, you tried to explain it all, but maybe this is a personal thing and it just didn't appeal to me. Other than that, James was great. On the other hand, I really loved how you described his love for Lily. That was lovely.

Author's Response: Yeah, i know. i do proof read them a couple of times before posting, only with that one i was so caught up in the success of the series and that i sorta posted it like two days after i wrote it instead of the usual week at least. it was bad planning on my part, however a major edit will be undertaken when i rearrange the chapters. As for James, i LOVE James. He's my fave character within the entire HP-verse i think. Him and Neville anyway. I know it's a little hard to see it - But this is a twenty one year old guy whose entire life is being put on hold because of his son, there would have been some dark feelings in there somewhere - but that James overcame with Gryffindor pride. I just think it would have been impossible to go through all that and not harbour some idea's about a way out when he loved Lily so. His opinion was just based off something that my dad said once, that if the circumstances called for it he'd give up his children to stay with his wife, because he loved her that much, and i think i just saw that in James. Dunno. I thank you again for your constructive criticism and await your opinion on the others. till then
love SF


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Review #21, by shadowycorner Tell Me Petunia Dursley

30th April 2008:
This series of different point of views look really interesting! I'm glad I checked this out. I saw this story in the Gryffindor common room in one of the topics. Second person is always so fresh to read. And I think this was a nice chapter. Some things were a bit off...like repeating the same phrases and words, but the overall effect was still very good. At first I thought it unrealistic of Petunia to maybe even attend Lily's funeral with Harry himself since there was a lot of people and perhaps that way he could be exposed to danger, but on the other hand...Petunia being there and her feelings played out perfectly by the end of the chapter. Once again, good job. Moving onto the next one.

Author's Response: YAY constructive criticism!!!
thanks so much for these little insights!
As for the repitition, I like to think that it's a ghost whispering from the other side, repeating the same things trying to get them to listen. Saying it again until they can actually hear it. meh, it's just what i like to think
thanks again!
love SF


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Review #22, by Andromeda Black Tell Me Alice Longbottom

27th April 2008:
Hooray, I got a mention! This is absolutely my favourite chapter so far! I love the way Alice has the same insecurity of Neville, very clever! Keep updating!

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Review #23, by Tor Petty Tell Me Peter Pettigrew

15th April 2008:
Oh wow. Lots of amazing metaphors in this one. I'm sure it was quite intimidating to write.

Well, done, however. I can't wait for Dumbledore's and Voldemort's!

Although, I'm wary about your idea of tweaking Petunia's. It's already so good!

Author's Response: it was very intimidating to write - considering the negative connotations with our least fave Marauder and what the little scum bag did to my favourite Marauder!!! - but somewhere there was some good in him. somewhere. deep.
as for petunia's, to me it's the odd one out these days so i'll tweak it, repost it and see what you all think. If worse comes to worse i'll resubmit this one again for my loyals. Maybe even as an special feature!!! lol
anyway. Dumbledore's and Voldie's will be up in the next couple of weeks. i have to be careful the parents banned me from HP so i have to be sneaky about it now. they will be up soon ( i had some writers block for a while - hence the wait, that and there was a couple of challenges i was doing).
i promise! hang in there!
love SF


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Review #24, by FullMoon Tell Me Peter Pettigrew

12th April 2008:
*Dies* Oh my god I had no idea Peter could feel so many emotions at once! I almost--ALMOST--feel bad for him in the way you write, and that's saying something! But what are you going to do in Voldy's? It's not like he felt any remorse! But I want to see what you do all the same. Remus and Petunia's are my favorites, and Alice's is awesome too. Sirius's made me cry. Keep writing!

Author's Response: i know what you mean, i read through it after i posted it and I almost felt sorry for him. ME! - and i hate peter... anyhow - you're right Voldie felt no remorse but then again these stories aren't just about remorse - they're about emotions and Voldie has a different view completely from everyone else in these stories so far. So it will be quite different from the others. I'm glad you like them, as for Petunia's i'm going to play with it a little and if you like the old one the best then i'll switch it back - all by popular vote!
thanks for the review!
love SF


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Review #25, by potter_pheonix92 Tell Me Peter Pettigrew

11th April 2008:
I think it was really good. I have always thought that there was reason that Peter was in Gryffindor and a Marauder an that is his bravery. Though the cowardly scum he may be he was always brave when protecting his own hide. It was a really good show of Peter's character. By the way I love the Cardigans. So when I read that I was just wow. Good Job.

Author's Response: thanks, i guess i tried to show that we all have our own different ways of defending what we believe in and we are all afraid of something. To me Peter was the Marauder who tried to be something great and could have been, he just got scared at the pivotal point - you all know what i mean, everyone's felt that at some point and missed their shot. Peter is like that for me. Peter had bravery is was just misdirected. He was afraid of death. i think it was as simple as that. wow i think i just contradicted myself in this message! anyway - i'm glad you liked it, and i'm glad you liked the song quote. The cardigans are awesome.
thansk again
love SF


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