Reading Reviews for Change of Heart
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Tres Amigas de Harry Potter The Gnol Schaeb?

28th January 2009:
Oh no, you didn't just give me a major cliffie, Ashley! Argh! You know how I hate that :) But still, very well-written! I love the whole flip-the-name-of-the-hotel-around thing! At the beginning when I saw the title I was like, "Gnol Schaeb?" But then I read it and I was laughing. :)
Can I PLEEEASE B/R for you? Please?
I seriously miss you! I know you called last weekend, and I was gonna call back but I had a concert on Sunday and I was pretty busy and whatnot. But I PROMISE I will call you this weekend!

LYLAS,
LYL,
Miss ya!
-Tess XD

Author's Response: Oh yes i did! And thats why i did that bacause i no you hate it. Evil me... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Thats why i said you have to read the story to understand the title. Sorry that i haven't been on in a while ive been really busy lately it's not even funny and i really need some help with my next chapter. I dont know what to do AH! And yes you can be my B/R since Juils is off the sight for good. I really miss you to and im sorry that i missed your show. :( Well, I guess ill see you around than and i will get started on the next chapter right away.

LYLAS,
-LLG

P.S. I CAP i'm supposed to be a C/TSgt tomorrow im so exited and now i get to be called Sergeant! YAY!


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Review #2, by Tres Amigas de Harry Potter Crying, Laughing, Splashing... the Typical Routine of Everyday Life

6th November 2008:
Amazing, Ashley! I think this is one of your best chapters yet. Good imagery, and I especially loved the ending scene!

You know I will always beta for you! I will read stuff and get back to you as fast as possible! Plus I am a very qualified b/r-I am in Honors English, after all. :) :)

Write more soon! Can't wait for Hawaii... :)

-Tess

P.S. 10/10, as always! :)

Author's Response: Thanks Reese! I hoped you would like the story and guess what, you're the first review for this chapter, now don't you feel specail. Ok, I shall trust you for Beta Reading since the other person that was supposed to Beta Read my stories is to busy with someone else *hem, hem*, if you no who I'm talking about. Anyways, get down on one knee, put your hand over your heart, (I really mean this), and repeat after me...

'I *your name here* do solomly swear, that I will Beata Read Ash's stories for ever and ever, and if I don't so help me God.'

Isn't that cool I just came up with that off the top of my head. Well, thanks again, hope yo hear from you soon, and pick up the phone next time, please.

LYLAS,
Ash (-LLG/ LTSDHP)

P.S. I up promoted (if you know what I mean)


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Review #3, by Nymphie Lupin The Inturuption

2nd June 2008:
Very nicely done. However, I've noticed you've a tendency to make your dialog very choppy. You should put a little action into your conversation rather than have lines upon lines of just talking. It can tend to get boring for the reader. And I really wish that the story was longer. More details could do a world of wonder for you, dear. Not only would they make it longer (obviously) but with the use of transitions, it'd make your writing a bit more... flowy. And instead of putting adverbs in parenthesis, ex.
"So Lily got up (regretfully) and put on a bathrobe." you can rewrite it. "So, Lily got up and regrettably put on her bathrobe." Do you see how it makes a bit more sense and makes the sentence sound better and more (here comes the word of the day) flowy? You've also got to watch the typos. I always type my chapters up in Microsoft Word before posting them here so, if I don't reread it, I'll know that there aren't many typos.

Other than that, marvelous job. I really like your sense of humor and it brightly shines through in your writing. Keep up the good work!

-Shea

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Review #4, by Nymphie Lupin He and his Little gang of Spying, Stupid,Mischievous, Idiots

2nd June 2008:
This was really good. Though it was choppy in places and a little short for my liking, it was really good. You had quite a few typos too. However, other than that, this was amazing. I really like how you incorporated JK's characterizations of her characters, but still were able to add your own twist. Good job, dear! You definitely have a lot of talent.

-Shea

Author's Response: Thank you, Shea! Harriet T Cauldron is helping me a lot and says almost the exact same thing. And this morning my third chapter got validated. So if you could critizie that ,too that would be wonderful. It's a huge twist but they'll get mad at each other soon enough. Talk to you later!

Love,
-LLG


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Review #5, by Tres Amigas de Harry Potter The Inturuption

15th April 2008:
Good one! I love the sudden "Change of Heart" in Lily-from hating james to loving him. And the 12 midnight thing was especially funny.
"You sent your friends to torture me about Sat."
What's Sat?
-Tessa

Author's Response: Hey, Tessa (Reese)! How's life been treating you so far now since we're out? Me, well I'm still dancing doing CAP. Not to mention all the camps I'm doing, too.
Besides that I'm free. I'll miss you at school this year :(. Keep in touch and LYLAS!

-LLG (Ash)


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Review #6, by Tres Amigas de Harry Potter He and his Little gang of Spying, Stupid,Mischievous, Idiots

8th April 2008:
Very nice, Ash! But, it's like that person down there said... you just gotta work on your imagery. Lily HATES James? Wow. Very mean.
Really nice chapter! Luv it! :) :) :)
-Tessa (I've officially implemented my new name now!)

Author's Response: Thanks Tessa for all your wonderful encourengment!!! Your AWSOME DUDE!!! For all you reading this review this is one of my best friends and this person has left most of me reviews; along with my other best friend. Anyway Tessa I am about to putmy next chapter up! It's not the best but I love it anyway and it's really short. I'll make it longer next time.
See ya tommorrow Tessa/Resse!!!

-LLG/AMT/LTADHP


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Review #7, by majesticmagic He and his Little gang of Spying, Stupid,Mischievous, Idiots

1st April 2008:
i told people that when i had over 500 reads i'd update my story

i'nve now had nearly 900 and still havent updated...oopsies

anyways lcuky you your fic didnt get deleted by the april fool


anyways. i liked the story quite a bit

8/10




ps. sorry for the essay, but you said yo liked reviews


pss. you could reciprocate the whole reading and reviewing thing if you want

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!!! I haven't updated latley but I'm putting in another chapter, YAH! It's not the most intresting but it's ok. I just love making stories and getting reviews.Keep reivewing; you just made my day by the way.I do love rievews. And thanks for likeing my story! Keep inn touch!!!

-LLG


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Review #8, by Rose Wilts The Inturuption

30th January 2008:
Hey again.
I'm leaving a review again, because I'm trying to appease you. Tee hee.
Hmmm...in my humble opinion Lily seemed a little out of character. A little harsh or something, too wicked. But then again, I've seen her portrayed SO many different ways it hardly matters. Sigh.
The dialogue was good, and FUNNY, but the way you wrote it, it sometimes didn't flow.
In real life it would, I have this problem all the time...but when you write it down, it suddenly seems out of place and you need to find a good way of setting it up. I have a lot of trouble with this. Groan...
Apart from that, it was a good chapter, very funny. I liked the gello/jello prank thing. I laughed out loud at the 12'Oclock midnight exerpt. Lol. Keep writing, don't be deterred. I'll keep an eye out for the next chapter!

Rose

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Review #9, by Rose Wilts He and his Little gang of Spying, Stupid,Mischievous, Idiots

30th January 2008:
Hey :) As you so kindly left a review for my story, i decided it was about time I left one for yours.
So, I know it's a short story, and pretty fluffy, but that doesn't mean it has to be cliche. The idea, could be so much more, (in the most encouraging way possible.) I know what it is to feed on reviews and constructive criticism, so I'll try to give you some.
I think you need to extend your descriptions. You didn't really set the scene. You started the chapter well, with the wind in her hair and everything, but you could've even extended that.

You had a few grammamatical and spelling errors, but I'm SO not complaining, because I have MORE than enough in my work!
You might also want to try to increase you vobab. instead to just saying 'said remus, said james, said lily' etc. all the time.
I'm going to read the next chapter, and of course I'll leave a review for it!!! I think that you have a potential to make this a great story. I hope I didn't make you disheartened. Keep trying!

Rose :)

Author's Response: Thank you for leaving me a review. I do have a beta reader but I keep trying. I had to hurry up on The First Thoughts and Change of Heart Chapter,two. I am going to resend those chapters to my beta reader (Harriet T Cauldron). I love your story though there great!!! Getting back on track my beta reader knows that I have bad puntuation, spelling, and grammer. I now that I should have those criteria to write but I'm getting better believe it or not. thanks again fir helping me I'll keep these thoughts in mind. And hope we keep in touch. Now to reivew the rest of your reivews.

-LLG


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Review #10, by Harriet T Cauldron He and his Little gang of Spying, Stupid,Mischievous, Idiots

18th January 2008:
ASHLEY! LOL. Tee hee. HAHAHAHA! I know what happens! So HA! In your faces, other people who don't know! I'm hyper! YAY! Just got off the phone with you. YAY!

I like it, but I still want to beta it. You know me. Put it on your flash drive, bring it Tuesday and we can transfer file to mine. I'll beta and we can trasfer it back to yours and you can repost.

Love it! :) LYLAS! TTYL :)

Make sure to be like me and post often LOL :)

And I'm saying what I'm like NOW. Not my non-posting habits of the past.

Author's Response: Ok Jewls calm down. Your almost as bad as me yesterday. Ok I'll let you beta read it. Just don't go all waky on me. And it's a mirical you called me Ashley not Ash!!! Wow , well see ya on Tuesday.
LALAS!!!

Sincerly,
Ash, Ashley, Ashley Marie, C/Amn, LLG
or anything else you want to call me.


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