Reading Reviews for With Every Light Comes Shadow
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by JLHufflepuff The Leaders of Hogwarts

4th February 2008:
Sorry fot taking so long to review your story! I kind of forgot about my thread at SAYS. Anyway, I think this is an interesting start. Lily's statement about dating James when someone their age became an animagus was cute and probably foreshadowing also. I think the only thing you need to work on is your transition from the conversation with the Marauders to focusing on Lily and her best friends. Maybe explain their friendship a little more. Otherwise, very good. :)

Author's Response: It's alright! I still need to review about ten stories! Thanks for the review! Yeah, I'm going to start the new chapter today and I'll concentrate on that. Thanks again! : )
~Cassie


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Review #2, by Labby The Leaders of Hogwarts

24th January 2008:
Okay, I wasn't too sure about this from the beginning. I've read a lot of Marauder stories and they tend to be very similar, especially with the 7th year Lily/James romance starting. I liked the talk about the Animagus though, and I do think I like this story so far. It seemed like an interesting introduction and I'm definitely wondering where it's going. It does not seem to be going the usual Marauder direction, so I'm interested. Don't hesitate to send me a PM or a message to tell me when you update. I'd love to see where this goes. Great job so far!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I hope the story will turn out unique compared to some of the Marauder stories! I'll send you a PM when the next chapters up! ; )
~Cassie


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Review #3, by andharrywokeup The Leaders of Hogwarts

16th January 2008:
I don't really read Marauder fics often, but from what I have read, I can see that you have put together and interesting and original beginning. The cliff-hanger you have left us on is arrggghh! What are their secrets? I am most intrigued. I think you could improve the flow of this a little by attempting to move away from colloquial language - this could be as simple as changing 'mates' to 'friends' and could make a huge difference. I'm not an expert and tend to overuse them, but whilst reading this I also wanted more commas. :) The scene where you described the love in James’s eyes, was beautiful. I can’t wait to read on! Exciting stuff! 10! ~ andy x x

Author's Response: Andy! Thanks so much for reading this! I know you don't read Marauder fics much, so I'm really glad you read mine! Well, there are many, many secrets that'll be revealed in the story. I'm about to edit this chapter, so I can look into making those changes you mentioned. Thanks so much for reading and wanting to contine to read!!
~Cassie


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Review #4, by emz The Leaders of Hogwarts

16th January 2008:
An absolutely intriguing first chapter, Cass! I love how you started with James and Sirius [who, of course, I adore: your portrayal of them so far, although we haven't seen that much of yet, has not disappointed me !! ;) ] and ended with Lily, Kati and Iz.
The section with Lily, James and Sirius discussing Animagi was absolutely gorgeous! It was a classic case of dramatic irony, with us knowing they are, in fact Animagi but Lily saying “The day you two become Animagi is the day I’ll start dating James!”. It was great: you have a wonderful style.

I'm dying to know how you expand and develop your story from this first chapter, and I can't wait to meet your OCs.

Great work so far, Cass, well done.

Author's Response: Em!! I'm so glad you came and looked at my story! I'm glad my Sirius and James haven't disappointed you..yet! I had so much fun writing that bit with Animagi, I'm glad people like it! I'm glad you like the story! I already know how I want Kati and Iz to be, and I can't wait to see if everyone likes them. Thanks so much!
~Cassie


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