that wuz sooo sweet and amazing
it wuz truly amazing how u described it allAuthor's Response: Haha, thanks, I had no idea how I was going to do the challenge. It was either going to be humorous or...well...this, but as soon as Pretty Purple Pelican gave me the phobia of rain this scenario starting coming into my head. Report Review
This was such a great story that I am sincerely jealous I did not come up with it! This was truly marvelous, thank you. I noticed that the other reviewers mentioned stuff about grammar and missing words, so I won't repeat that here. I have to say that it annoyed me that Sirius got his way in the end (she somewhat got over her fears). He doesn't need any help being smug! LOL. I didn't want him to feel satisfied, but (sigh), this is such a great story.Thanks for a great read!Author's Response: Oh yes, they did, I actually did revise it but I usually need to revise like ten times before it's perfect so I do that every time I get free time.
Wow, I thought I was the only one that got jealous when I see something great that I'm sure I would have thought of it eventually! Yay! Oh yes, but it seems so natural that Sirius Black gets his way. =P
Thank YOU for a great review. =D Report Review
This was an amazing one-shot. I like how you pitted Sirius against his girlfriend; it changes the story up a bit. I think you could make this into a longer story, even a novel.
Anyways, I liked it.Author's Response: Haha, you're the second person to mention that I think. I wasn't thinking about changing it up really when I put Sirius against Riley, it just seemed a very Sirius-like thing to do to drag his girlfriend down to Hogsmead. In his defense though he kind of did it to help her. I guess I could have stretched it out but it didn't really seem right for the fic and adding chapters would have made it repetitive. :: shrug ::
I'm glad you liked it, thanks for the review! Report Review
This is great!!! Can't wait for more!!!Author's Response: Oh umm, thanks, that's sweet and I'm so glad you reviewed but it's a one shot, so there's not gonna be more. Sorry. Report Review
I enjoyed reading the story as a whole, but there were some things that I noticed, like punctuation and flow, I guess. It could have been easier to read is all I'm saying. Things like this: I’d imagine waves, huge waves, and huge, huge waves--weren't exactly clear (unless you meant for it to read like that? I'm not sure). Or missing words, I think: tempted to keep yelling but then what I’d have to this afternoon?
What I really liked was how strong the character's voice came to me, especially her thoughts (well, seeing as it's her POV...that would mean most of it). The idea of the typhoon in the Philippines (woo! I'm Filipino, but I was born in the US) was original, and I liked the flashbacks. My favorite parts were: He knew it was a sensitive topic, he knew I almost died from “harmless rain”; he knew I still had nightmares after every huge storm and the insensitive prat thought it was hilarious! Why did I ever agree to go out with him?
and: I shouldn’t have taken the time to frown in confusion; I should have just made a run for it.
I also like how you set Sirius against her, ha, that was amusing, because usually you see the girl dazzled by him in other fics. It's a nice break. So yea, nice job on the challenge. Yeah phobias!Author's Response: Ergh yes, Pretty Purple Pelican pointed that out to me as well, and I'm going to go over it again as soon as I have a bunch of free time. Unfortunately, going over my mistakes are one of my biggest challenges as a writer.
Haha, thank you, that's what I really try to do when I'm writing from someone's point of view. It was the realization that I could actually do that was what me start writing in first person more and more until it just became natural to start writing first person even if the personality differs from mine.
Wow, I actually predicted a Filipino would read my sotry for some reason, haha. The reason the idea even came to me is that we had learned in World Geography there were a lot of typhoons in that area. When I got my phobia it kind of just slipped back into my mind and it made more sense for an island to be overtaken by water. Plus, I needed a good reason for her to be deathly afraid of rain.
Well, if Riley had been dazzled by Sirius it wouldn't have been so hard to drag her into the rain. =P Plus I did it to add some amusement into the one shot. Thank you so much for the review and I'm glad you enjoyed the one shot! Report Review
Very interesting and good story. I really like the basis.Author's Response: Thank you! I was actually very iffy about the basis so it's good to hear that people liked it. =D Report Review
I really like that she admitted that she wasn't totally over the fear of rain. That's really how they do it (we watched a video in Psych class today that confirmed it), telling themselves that they won't be hurt. This was a really interesting take on it, and I really enjoyed it. I loved the backstory to her fear. That's was very creative of you. I do have a couple of things, though. One was that you were inconsistent with your verb tense in the flashback. You started with past and then went to present and then back to past. Secondly, you should probably always capitalize the things that JKR capitalizes, like "Ministry" in reference to the MOM. The third thing was that you said Sirius looked down when Riley was crying because his shirt got a "wet spot", but the thing was that they were in the rain, so they were wet already ;)
Anyway, yeah. I loved that they did research on her without her knowing. That was very cute. I also loved the Lily got something out of it. I just really loved the backstory. I don't even know how you came up with that. Lovely job! :)Author's Response: Haha, well, I'm interested a bit in psychology (psychology how I see it anyways) so I didn't think it would be normal for someone to get over their fear in a snap of a finger, I know I'm still a bit queasy in the dark. =P The backstory was actually the first thought that came to mind when I saw the phobia and at the time I thought I had absolutely no use for me.
Wow, I'm usually ok with tenses. Thanks, I'll fix all of those things. =D
Thanks for the review, hun, it was very helpful. Report Review
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