It's really lovely. I love the pace and the situations are interesting in their simplicity and logic. I love the potions lessons a lot. I love that Olivia and Julia both tricked the guys into meaningless menial work. It's the details that you put in that make it all work very well, I find. Like when Sirius overheard the conversation between James and Remus which was about the 'drop and pray' method. cx When Olivia said that her reason for taking the class was because of Snape I was like *jaw drops*, I'm not gonna lie. c: I find Lily almost tiresome, she's so whiny. Cx
I really really liked when Olivia lashed out at Sirius for fooling around, but hope that he'll be able to comment on the so-called world that he left and the reasons for doings so... Let's face it, the pureblood fanaticism that he left is somewhat ludicrous in its own right.
Loved Remus. As always. Am so glad that you updated. C=
Cheers. Report Review
Fantastic. The only advice I have to offer is that you might have wanted more of a distinction between Snape's memory and the present. I always go for italics, but there are other ways. Other than that, this is a completely flawless chapter. You write very well! :)Author's Response: That's a really good suggestion. I've kind of put this story on the back burner while working on Helter Skelter, but I know that I'll eventually go back to it. I want to make sure it's not at all confusing, so I really appreciate any suggestions that you have.
Thank you so much for the review! Report Review
Snape's POV bothers me in the most inherent manner. I really don't like his almost naive idea towards Voldy and the twisted idea of protecting Lily and all of that Snape-drama. He makes me sad. I dunno. I do like that he already comes off as the unsocial tortured intellectual type, which I find unavoidably intriguing about Snape's character.
I do wonder why Olivia would want to avoid Avery... well, for a reason other than the obvious; he doesn't strike me as the type to befriend.
The Shins are awesome.
Cheers.Author's Response: Snape has been a really difficult character for me to write. I'm always afraid of going too far with him, and turning him into some overdramatic Hamelt-esc character or something.
Anyway, thanks so much for taking the time to review. It really means a lot to me! Report Review
I like your writing style a whole bunch. In my opinion you have the Marauder dynamic and repartee at your feet. I rather like all of it, most particularly the Potions bit. Nothing that comes out of the mouths of Marauders is less than awesome. I like Olivia's response to Sirius, snappy but not particularly homicidal... I could see her wanting to simply ignore him.
Fantastic first chapter...
Cheers.Author's Response: Thank you so much for the reivew-- sorry it's taken so long for me to respond to it!
I haven't really looked back at this particular story of mine for a while, just because I've been working on other things. Still, I really like writing the Marauders, so it's great to know that I'm not rotten when it comes to their characters. Report Review
You wrote this chapter really well. The characters are wrote well as well so keep on writing!Author's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to review- I really appreciate your input! Report Review
Its very witty and sarcastic and tis exactly what I'm looking for my love!!
Aside from my strange behavior...I enjoyed it very much! I haven't seen too many smart fics and I'm glad to add this to my own little collection...amongst the fluffy, romantic, and angsty ones already littering my favorites.
Would love to read more!!Author's Response: Oh soulchica, you made my day. You also might have given me a small ulcer from all the laughing I just finished doing. What can I say? Randomness is where it's at!
Plus, now I'm getting all smug because someone called my story a "smart fic". Thanks for your review! Report Review
Good start to a story, I'm looking forward to reading more.Author's Response: Thanks! This story is kind of on pause right now... I'm working out some plot holes and some character issues. Report Review
love it! its very clever and, i think at least, in character. keep up the good work!Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review! Report Review
Well done. This is a very refreshing Marauder story. It's nice to see a Peter who isn't stupid. You've avoided that cliche. Your Marauders seem different, more human. I hope you update soon, because I'm very curious to the rest of the story.Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review. I really need to get back to working on this story. Right now I'm just so stuck on the second chapter. I know where I want to go eventually, but I'm not sure how I'm going to get past this hurdle! Report Review
No, it's very well done. It gives a great preview of how you going to write the Marauders (and I like it very much, by the way). I love the whole dry sense of humor. I really like the strange relationship between Olivia and Sirius, too, and I can't wait to see more of that. Your Peter's not too stupid- just awkward, and I like that. Good job! :)Author's Response: I like Peter. I mean, I don't really like him, but I think he doesn't get enough credit in fanfiction. Obviously, if he were dumb as a turnip and completely irritating, James, Sirius and Remus wouldn't hang out with him.
Anyway, thanks so much for your review! Report Review
I'm shocked. This is good writing, very good writing and I can't believe it does not have more reviews! It's an outrage! Well, at least I can contribute my part. Here's to a very well written first chapter, good dialogs, and excellent character dynamics! Cheers! I have to admit, I'm intrigued.Author's Response: Oh! Thank you, you just made my week. It's so encouraging to hear from you! I really hope you continue reading. Report Review
It's great!!! I love the ending!!! Update soon!!!Author's Response: Thanks for your review. Right now the first chapter of my second fic, "Helter Skelter", is in the queue, so it should give me a nice break to work on the second chapter of this one. I hope you keep reading! Report Review
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