This is no good. No offense but I hate
it! Report Review
ha James got owned by SnapeAuthor's Response: thank you! =D
He sure did! Report Review
i liked it
it was weird thoughAuthor's Response: thanks :) Report Review
I'm really sorry it's taken so long to fill your review request. Life seems to have gotten in the way lately, lol. Thanks for being patient with me. =)
Now to the review. =)
-I would cut the "stage directions," mainly because they're distracting. The italics are sufficent for fanfiction; most readers realise that they symbolize a change in writing (flashback, time lapse, etc).
-Make sure you don't break your 3rd person view. I don't think you should go into so much detail about what each character thought. Telling the readers what they see and how they interpret it is enough--exact thoughts cross over into a different point of view.
Overall, this is an orginial idea and was very entertaining.
Never stop writing!!
Kate/RPAuthor's Response: Its okay! :)
okay, i'll do that, thanks for the advise!
thank you very much!!
and Happy easter to u too!! Report Review
It was reaally good :) 10/10
Oh, by the way. I'm OvergrownEden9 from HPFF forums.. my account isn't letting me post etc so this was the only way to tell you : Ch1 of your title challenge is complete. "10 Fool-Proof Ways To Deflate James Potter's Big Head." Banner will be around soon. Noo idea what's up with my account though *sobs*.Author's Response: thank you! :D
yay! thank you for letting me know, will read it as soon as possible! and sorry about your account, hope it gets better soon! :) Report Review
Aww poor James. *sniff*
I thought this was really well done though.
:)Author's Response: thank you! :D Report Review
that was really goodAuthor's Response: thank you! :D Report Review
That was great! I've always wondered what james's worst moment would be! who knew?! great job, that was well written and i loved the way you portrayed the flashbacks! Excellent job!
Can you please check out my fics?!Author's Response: thank you! :D:D:D
sure i'll check out ur fics =) Report Review
This was a nice one-shot. The pranks were amusing, and I like how Snape got back at James. More descriptions would be nice, but other than that, this was good. =) Keep up the good work!Author's Response: thank you :D Report Review
UR A MEAN WRITER
good story though
dissapointing endingAuthor's Response: lol.. i knw!
i seriously thought u'd like the ending.. but it seems u support James n not Snape! yay!
thanks for ur review!
Aw... poor James!! Really great story. :)Author's Response: thanks! :D **grins like mad** Report Review
I loved it! Poor poor James! oh well at least he got Lily to marry him in the end!and Sanpe finally got his revenge!Author's Response: thank you! :) yeah.. Report Review
OMG, I'm sorry. I reviewed and then my computer deleted it all. So I'm back!
Okay, it's an original idea, and the ending was unexpected. The prank was unique. The use of flashbacks was confusing though. I would suggest just using horizontal lines to seperate ideas, and tell the story as it happens. I loved the ending, but I would consider a beta for grammar and such. For example, a few times you said: 'propose Lily', but it's supposed to be 'propose to Lily'. Also keep in mind that Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail, Prongs, and Marauders are all capitalized.
The Hufflepuffâ€™s and Ravenclawâ€™s were celebrating the defeat of Slytherin, if not the victory of Gryffindor! -- there is no need for the apostrophes.
Hufflepuffleâ€™s gossiping -- While again, the apostrophe is not needed, so is the extra 'l' near the end.
~KatieAuthor's Response: hey,
thank you :) it was? thats why i put the flashbacks in ittalics, so that it should show the diffrence.
hmm.. you're right! thanks for the suggestions, will work on them right away :D Report Review
Perfect prank and nice idea! Go, Snape!Author's Response: thanks! you support Snape?! :O Report Review
Aww.. poor James! Right when he was proposing. Well, I guess he did kind of deserve it since that Marauders were so mean to Snape, but it was still pretty cruel. I'm glad that it was Snape that did it though, it just seemed right. I thought this was a great story, thanks so much for participating in my challenge!Author's Response: yea, he did. after all those years of toturing Snape, they finally felt what Snape would go through. thank you! =D Report Review
Severus Snape looked out ok but what in the world happened to James and Sirius. They were not their usual selves, I would have liked them to be a bit more, you know, lively. To tell you the truth, I really did not think it was very embarrassing, sad may be even agonising for James but not embarrassing. So I am sorry but it did not work very well for me. Although the starting that you took was great.Author's Response: James was himself, ya know, a confident marauder, and Sirius.. he wasnt a main character so i didnt write about him much. i found it embarrassing, sorry if you didnt. thanks! Report Review
Aww...that was actually kind of sad :( Snape is so friggin sadistic, and I know James deserves it in a way...but still! To do it on the day that he was going to propose to Lily? Sigh. So horrible...but this was well-written nevertheless :) Good story and all, just sad x) I now hate Snape even more.
But actually, now that I think about it, I was kinda surprised that the students in the Great Hall would laugh at James. The Marauders do embarassing things all the time, so perhaps it could've been done on purpose? x) Yeah, weird thinking, but I honestly do feel quite sorry for James.
Snape should go hang himself. Huff.
Great story though!! :)Author's Response: i know.. trust me, ur not the only one that hates Snape! (i hate him aswell)
hmm.. well i thought that some of the girls were jelous that they couldnt have James so...
lol, i really wish he would!
thank you!! Report Review
It was nice... James seemed different in this story... not the way you have always written him... and not the way other writers have written about him... but it was a different kind of story thats what makes it nice to read...Author's Response: thank you! i thought a change woud be nice :) Report Review
it's a good idea for a story and i like it but i think you could have developed it a little better by making it a little longer in some spots. good job though!Author's Response: thank you :) Report Review
oh this is lovely i would love to read more as to how i found it well i looked under the completed section and there it wasAuthor's Response: thank you! you can go to my authors page and check out my other stories, i have quite a few completed one-shots :) Report Review
how could he?
10/10 ;)Author's Response: lol, i know, very evil **gives Severus a death glare**
thank you! :D Report Review
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