!0/!0 and adding to favs!Author's Response: thank you very much! Report Review
Good job! So sweet!
10/10 good job! Author's Response: I'm so glad you've enjoyed it :) Report Review
I just want to point out one of my favorite lines before I begin (or forget): "If only he hadn’t been so noble." I think, really, this line sums up both this chapter and your lovely characterization of the (now dead) Ron Weasley. I mean... wow! That was magnificent!
I can see Hermione being torn up about it and Harry too, and the brothers... Gah. Everybody just seemed in character to me, and your emotions were so real and vivid and played out entirely. It was a lovely thing to read.
I also especially enjoyed the way you repeated "Hermione" a few times through the piece. It brought breaks and a clearing point when it was needed, and it also helped to tie the entire chapter into one large, magnificent piece.
Again, this was lovely. And a brilliant start to something I'm sure is just as lovely.
xx RinAuthor's Response: Thank you so much Rin! I'm actually appalled to discover it's taken my almost a year to get around to responding to this. Thank you so much. Report Review
What a great story! I love the plot and the way you portray all of these characters. You're such a great emotional writer; I always feel like I could be sitting right there in the person's body.
Can't wait for the next chapter :)
-JillAuthor's Response: Hey there, Jill! Wow, thanks so much. I've currently lost my usb (the amount of times I've had to explain that in reviews across the year is shameful) but hopefully I'll be able to update soon. I really should back up my stuff... hahah, thanks! :) Report Review
this is a great story but you should update more often 10/10Author's Response: Thanks very much! New chapter is half-way done. Report Review
i loved it hurry up make more add on to it i want to read itAuthor's Response: Thanks dearie! :) Report Review
Corrections so I don't forget:
You said: His tie was loosed around his neck... Don't you mean: Loose or loosened?
Hehe! love you
You said: "“Surely you don’t need to be out that long? Ten?” He repeated again."
Don't you need a comma between surely and you? tehe. Wow, I just realized this... But comma is such a funny word! I love saying it. Comma Comma Comma. It would be cool if it was spelled like: Commah!
Other than that, it was perfect. ohhh wilem or Harry. I can't decide who I like better. I love both of your characterizations. Man, you drive me crazy. You write amazingly well. I loved the descriptions. Please become famous, get money, then come visit me and we can write our book of poems together.
I love you, my little bird!Author's Response: THANKS! :)
COMMA. TEE HEE.
Thank you, thank you. Im rooting for Harry. I'm sure you won't be liking Wilem so much soon ;) Hehe, we can write our biography and dictionary as well while we're at it.
Thanks. I was so worried about it. Last night, after I posted it I was just like... "er... why did Harry & Hermione just have sex? WTH?!" Haha, but I'm feeling better about it now.
Love you ya muppet ;) Report Review
My little bird,
I am currently listening to Australia by the Shins. How fitting is that? Love you!
Anyway, this chapter was so much better than the last. I absolutely loved it. I loved your characterizations. And your descriptions and your emotion portrayal absolutely give me chills. I'm so jealous.
You did the name thingy ma bob again. What do they call it? But you only did it once, so No Big Deal! NBD!
Here it was I copied it so I could tell you exactly!
Right... Right... HERE!:
You said: "“Then why Harry?” "
Don't forget the comma between the why and Harry so it should look like: "Then why, Harry?"
so I loved this. I love how Hermione and Harry are so cute like this. I loved the characterizations.
Why oh why are you so amazing.
LUFF YOUAuthor's Response: Aw, 'little bird'. It's so cute. I love that song, adn yes, it's very fititng. I'm listening to 'Not Fair' by Lily Allen. Get-it-now :) Hehe.
YAY! I gave you chills. That makes me proud. Aw, thank you so much Rach. You're so lovely. And once again, thanks for the corrections.
xx luff you. Report Review
How come I haven't reviewed this chapter yet? Is it new? Hmm, I feel like I've read it before. Maybe I'm just imagining it Laura Mal Laura!
By the way before I begin. I luff you.
Gahh, I love this chapter. So Good, I love your descriptions they are so vivid.
Ohhh, and I caught a mistake twice. (wow I am such an evil person. Don't hate me) Don't foget that when you are writing a sentence then have a name at the end of the sentence you need a comma between the word and the name like:
"I don't think so, Delia."
"Wonderful seeing you, Malik."
"How's it going, lulah?"
Do you understand what I am saying? You did that twice but that's okay cause everything else was magnificent. I LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU!
COME ONLINE NOWAuthor's Response: Hm, we may never know just why exactly... ;) Hehe. Hello! Thank you so much for reviewing m'diddly. WHAT THE HELL? Sorry, I just clicked 'preview' and it deleted half of my response.
Oh well, thanks for the review and corrections! I'll go and put them in later. I'm so glad you liked it. Love you! :) Report Review
yeah the chapters are too short..not much revieved here..still i hope u update soon...nice chapter by the way...Author's Response: He he, thanks very much! I'm glad you liked it. Report Review
OHMYCHEEZITS. I'm sucked in! Pretty please update soon, I'm amazed by your writing style. Tis brilliant.Author's Response: WHY THANK YOU M'DEAR.
He he, I'm super duper glad you liked it! I was really worried about the chapter. Thanks. Report Review
wow, that was very interesting.plz update. i really wanna know what is gonna happen.
for this chapter i'll give u 10/10Author's Response: Ha ha, thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it. Report Review
ohmygosh, Harry's back. Amen sista to the FAN GIRL SCREAM! i did it too. Except it was very quiet haha.
Let me tell you a little funny story. So i am sitting here at the hospital where i take my driver's education course... reading your story in my drivers ed teachers office before she takes me to drive for the final time. No one is here, i'm all alone. She's out driving with another kid lol. And i am reading your story and reviewing. Tears are rolling down my face with this chapter just because of how well you are playing the emotions lol. It's simply outstanding. Everyone who is passing me is giving me odd looks and asking if i am okay. I keep telling them i'm reading a very emotional story. I hope my drivers ed teacher doesn't come in right now and see me a mess with my mascara ruined!! haha. So that's the story of me right now and what i am doing as i read your story
Anyway the review, i was so happy to see Harry back. The way you portrayed the emotions were just so pure and raw. THey were simply wonderful. To see Ginny and Hermione crying. You seem very comfortable with able to do such beautiful characterizations of all the characters. You seem to have nailed everyone even if some of ocs. You have this insane thing of making a reader fall in love with your story
this story is so captivating. So drawing. So attention grabbing. I can't wait for you to post more chapters. Request a review anytime you want! yay. Amazing job Laura. I can't even say how fantastically you are doing with it!Author's Response: Ha ha! I'm at home now and I don't have an annoying keyboard anymore :) This one is just great.
OH! Rach! You poor thing! Ha ha. I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Ha ha, please forgive me *bows down* Well, ok, it's kind of funny.
Ha ha, yay! I can just picture the frightened looks people would giving you seeing this crying girl doing a fan girl scream, so I'm happy for you that you only did a quiet one.
Really? Aw, thank you! To be honest, I'm not really aware of the characterisation. Maybe this sounds really self promoting or something, but I never really pay attention to what I right. For me it's like- if it's good, it's good and that's it. Ha ha, I never really go that much into details until the next day when I read over it and I'm like- 'wow, I don't remember putting that there, that's cool' HA HA. WOW, thank you so much!!! That's pretty much the most massive compliment someone has ever paid me. Ha ha.
WOO, I can't thank you enough! Thank you so much for all of your beautiful, skilfull, staggering reviews. They always make me days. I hope I can review/beta something for you later on. It's payback time (in a good way)
THANKING YOU VERY MUCHLY! Report Review
you've done a lot better with the dialogue in the later chapters. However i feel as if you should add some more descriptions and feelings inbetween them still. I feel like we as readers should feel more than just dialogue when we read those parts in your story.
I am so glad to witness hermione's recovery. It's simply beautiful to see how she is getting better. I am very happy to see her a bit happier right now. Although you can still feel a sense of grief in the air.
This is written so beautifully this chapter, and i must give you some props to your creative chapter names. That's something i always struggle with lol. I have the lamest chapter names at times. So anyway i am adding this story to my favorites now. Good good job. This is beautifuL!!!Author's Response: :D Yay! Thanks very much. Okey dokey, I'll get onto that.
Woo hoo, she's getting better. I'm glad you're enjoying her recovery too ^^
Thank you so much, I actually really like making chapter names. Is that sad? Ha ha.
THANK YOU!!! Report Review
ohmy... So here we have a bit about her healer.
So this review is going to be really short and i aplogise for that lol.
I absolutely love how you have made it for the reader to be capable of getting into Hermione's mind. This story is so believable and could happen to anyone. One thing i love is how you make it all so natural. You can really write her expirience with grief beautifully. It's like so breathtaking. My heart is beating so fast at the tension i feel from reading this. I don't know if you have meant to make it so that there is a tension in it but i feel some. It could very well be from the tension of my day. I just passed drivers ed here in america lol so i am excited and tense at the same time!
anyway i think this was a beautiful chapter. I am now onto the next chapter. I can't believe this chapter took you thirty minutes to write. normally it takes me like 050 thousand years to write haha. Great jobAuthor's Response: Okay, I'm sorry, but I have to say that I am in love with Wilem Dahl, no, not really, just the relationship between them.
Short? No, it's great length, and a review nonetheless. So, thanks.
I'm so happy, I mean, I have never experienced the death or loss of a loved one yet, which is really remarkable, so I'm HAPPY AS that i'm able to portray it in a realistic way.
You passed? WOO! Well done *high fives*
Ha ha, to be honest, I surprised myself too. It normallytakes me forever as well. Report Review
Hey I’m back again to review…
I caught a mistake in the first sentence here: you said:”
but nevertheless Hermione added a bunch on bananas. She refused to magic it lighter. It’d do her good to strain a little.”
I think that you should make it: Hermione added a bunch of bananas.
And then add something like this for the second part: She refused to use magic to make it lighter
So one thing I really loved about this chapter (okay you got me I loved the absolutely whole thing in this chapter. But one part that stands out to me especially…. I should have said that eh?! I love this whole story in fact. It’s just all so beautiful) so anyway back to before I went into parenthesis mode and added a little side now, I really love how you kind of compared her grief and added the part with the grocery store. Even something as simple as that shows how much she is suffering. It’s just simply beautiful
I am so happy how she is starting to recover. I love how this is progressing. Very nice job, I’m so sorry how short my review is for this chapter lol
I really also loved the bar scene and how she caught the men talking about her behind her back. It shows she still has some fire. Your chaaracterization of her simply outstanding. This story stands out from most Hermione stories i've read. Oh holy heck!Author's Response: Ah, thanks very much. I'm not very good at picking up those little errors. So, thank you dearie.
Thank you, I thought it was quite a good way of showing it, but nobody picked up on it...until you! Ha ha, thanks!
I loved the bar scene too,well,I loved WRITING it. Ha ha, those stupid men.
Oh? Really? Guess what I'm doing? Blushing again... lol, THANKS! OH MY GARNETT ;) Report Review
ohmygoodness!! HARRY POTTER DEAD?! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN?!?! SAVE ME FROM THIS URGE TO JUST CLICK THE NEXT CHAPTER BUTTON INSTEAD OF LEAVING YOU A REVIEW LOL!
wow this was wonderful, i really hope that Hermione begins to recover quicker. The first couple well the whole story was just breath taking. You write extremely well
i am so happy that you included some dialogue however i feel as though you should add some more descriptions into the story between the dialogue. Because you write them so strongly i felt like something was missing where there was little descriptions and mostly dialogue. You should find a way where you can incorporate and add both into your story to blend it. I think that its phenomonal however and hope that i'm not being too harsh. I have no idea how i sound to you lol. I really really love this story, you have no clue how fast my heart was beating as i read this chapter. It's amazing. This is pure wonderfulness!!!
the only thing you can work on for me is incorporating more descriptions of how the characters are doing and how they are reacting after and between the dialogue. I feel like we need more there.
That's all. I love this story more than words can describe! amazing wonderful and beautiful job Laura!Author's Response: Well,I'm glad you didn't just go on to the next chapter because I love your reviews! Ha ha,thanks!!!
Aw,you have a habit of making me blush, m'dear.
Ooh,yes! I really,truly love getting CC, it makes me look for stuff to improve and I feel really cool going around and editing. LOL.
Too harsh? No! Never too harsh, just lovely.
Thank you so much! I'm sorry I can't think of more interesting things to say. Mr friend, Charlie, was just mocking me about having online friends and being a HP nerd. Foolish boy, he doesn't realise the true delights. Ha ha!!! Thanks again! Report Review
Hey there Laura, so i am really frustrated because i had this whole nice review written out for you and when i clicked the preview button it all dissapeared so i am trying to rewrite it as well as that review was lol!
SO HOLY COW! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GARNETT (I AM STEALING YOUR LITTLE PHRASE HERE LOL) This was amazing! From the very first line to the absolute last one of this chapter. I am going to see if I can muster up any cc for you but so far that chance is looking pretty slim
so i really loved your descriptions and the way you provided us with such raw and real feelings of emotions. They were so beautiful. I loved how i could feel all the emotions you portrayed in the story. The descriptions were wonderful. I could feel everything Hermione was feeling and it basically tore my heart apart. It made me so sad and for the first time you have made me cry!
This was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful and stunning. I loved how you had George in the story. I really liked the characterization of Hermione and Harry. They were just so well done. Perfectly intune. Beautiful. I can't wait to see where this is going
your descriptions were flawless, and i loved the little bits of dialogue you incorportated. However i think at some points there can be a little bit more. Not in this chapter but you can work on including it more in your writting. I can see you are so very comfortable with descriptions because of how beautiful they are. Maybe just add more dialogue later on. But just don't change anything to this chapter
okay let's hope this review works lol Laura!! It might not be as good as my first one but i hope it's alright! Author's Response: Hey there Rach! Wow, I almost fell off my seat again when I came and saw all your reviews. Thanks so much!
What? Nicer than this review? You must be delusional. Ha ha, so witty of me.
Aw, thank you so much, it really made you cry?That's sort of funny, because,I've never really thought of this as a sad story, but almost every reviewer has said that it made them cry, so, in some sick twisted way, I'm happy you cried.
LOL, thank you so much. I'm using this really old school computer at the moment and it's complete rubbish, the space key seldom works, so sorry if like a billion of my words are melded together.
Thanks! Report Review
hey...i loved ur story so far...but please update son...i cnt wait...Author's Response: He he, thanks for the review. I'll try to update asap. As soon as I find my usb... *shakes fist at usb* Thanks again! Report Review
I love it! Great story so far. It is very believable. People deal with loss in very different ways. I lost my sister 18 months ago and even though I think of her every day, I am able to cope. My mom, on the other hand, is still struggling to cope. Great work. Update soon.Author's Response: Thank you, thank you so much. I'm so pleased I've been able to portray grief in a realistic sort of way. :D Thanks so much again. I'll update as soon as I can. Report Review
Aw, that was so sad, and so sweet. :( ***Blows nose on tissue*** That was brilliant, Rose. I mean it. I could really feel the emotion. You, like me, clearly love the sense of rhytm that a story has (for me, it's essential, if a sentence doesn't flow right, I'll change it.) Anyway, oh no, Ron dead. and. :( Sorry for the sad faces, but it was so good. Hang on, let me select my favourite bit: â€śHermione.â€ť Harry squeezed her hand, trying to get her to look at him. His eyes bored into her skull, but still she ignored him.
The Casket was gone. Ron was gone. All was gone.
I just loved the rythm of that. (I know rythm's spelt wrong, but it's twenty past five nearly, in the morning for me, lol)
Will read some more soon, Rose!
Snitchsista :) Hee heeAuthor's Response: Ha ha, thansk for that. I'm glad it almost reduced you to tears (in some sick way)
I do like rhthym (dammit, now I can't remember how to spell it!) Maybe it has something to being musical...anyway. Thanks a bunch! Report Review
wow! those two chapters were realy really good!!
You have done a really good job at that, and am excitedly looking forward to the next chapters/storiesAuthor's Response: Gee thanks, :) You're Oh-so mysterious...but thanks for the comments. Ha ha. You should write some fics, i promise i'd review. Ta Report Review
Ok, i'm stuck on the part were it said Harry was dead. DEAD, no. That's not possible (to quote a sandy haired werewolf). You seriously HAVE TO post more on this. Oh and one more thing. BRING HARRY BACK. lol.Author's Response: He he. This made me laugh out loud. I'll try to post as soon as I can. Glad you liked it. :) Report Review
I really hope Hermione gets it together soon.
10/10Author's Response: Me too! (I'm running out of creative things to say...maybe I should just stick to thanks?) Report Review
I really like your writing style, it's flowing and natural, and the story is believable, and i love dramatic stuff. Drama ROCKS!!!
can't wait to read on, and hope this story turns out great.
10/10Author's Response: Thanks! (insert hug- ha ha) I'm glad you don't think it's overly dramatic. I guess it's not when you think about what's happened to her. I'll try to post soon. Report Review
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