Are u going to update soon? The chapter is great and I can tell already that this is going to be a great story so I'm looking forward to read the next chapter.
P.S: This is 1 of my fav. stories.^_^
Harry and Ginny Report Review
10/10 Report Review
Cuteness! Very very cute. Same problem with the spacing as last one, but I'm sure you know that already. I'd suggest maybe a little more description or beginning variations and things like that, just to give it a little more spice. It's like diologue is a plain cake, and all the other stuff is the frosting and candles and things. (Yes, that was a terrible metaphor; I just can't seem to think of a better one.)
You're doing really well. I love the Ronmione in this. Goodness gracious. Also, great grammar, really great. I have to go help my dad wrap presents, but great job! I'll check out more of your stuff later! Oh, and merry Christmas!
--Kenzie.Author's Response: really? i thought i'd fixed that. oh well, merry christmas! i'll review one of ure stories! Report Review
Hey! May I just say, I love Ron/Hermione. Adore them, so this is very tre magnifique for me.
The first thing that I noticed was that it was kind of hard to tell what people were saying what, because there weren't lines skipped between paragraphs. It's usually okay not even to say who's saying it, if you've established a pattern. Like:
"What are you doing?" Ron asked, looking puzzled.
Hermione shrugged. "Just my homework, why?"
"Well, I was just wondering."
Yes, like that. Other than that, I like this concept. Your characterization of all of the characters seemed spot on, except that Hermione was maybe a little too girly. But I tend to do that, too, and so do a lot of people, so don't worry about it.
Also, just a tip, I'd suggest getting a banner if you're having as problem with not getting a lot of reads or reviews. the-dark-arts dot net has some pretty amazing artists, and I could even hook you up with one if you just asked me in a review on one of my stories. Also, really don't worry about your read/review count. How many reads or reviews your story gets really is a luck of the draw. Just keep trying.
Looking at your bio, I noticed that you're pretty new here, and you said you're young. (Just out of sheer curiousity, how old are you?) I'm fifteen, but I started to be interested in writing at the age of eleven. I know it can be kind of tough, but just hang in there. Keep writing, and believe in yourself even if no one else does. (Oh, and Pokemon?! That's really fun. I love those, especially the video games. You should try writing a Pokemon/HP crossover. Those are fun.)
Wow, sorry for how sentimental that got. I just wish someone had told me that when I was new. Good luck with your writing, hun, and feel free to contact me through a review if you ever need a banner or anything else! Off to the next chapter, and I promise that review won't be as sappy. ;)
--Kenzie.Author's Response: I'm 12, and right now i'm writing a story that i'm sending to a PUBLISHING company, or hoping to anyways. and thanks for the advice, i like when i have lots to read! :.) Report Review
Cute little story!
I still have some constructive critisism, though... First, you should try to stop and look at the moment. Describe the setting, the characters, the actions, the mood, the feelings. Not overly done, of course, but to use one of my favourite metaphors, it puts meat on the bone. Makes it more interesting to read, makes the reader more engaged. Other than that, you should have a new paragraph for each time someone says something. Like:
"What're you writing Hermione?" He inquired, "You didn't forget to do homework?"
Hermione looked up, looking flustered.
"Oh... no. Just writing... stuff. Nothing important."
Hermione looked at Ginny, quickly scribbled something, and then closed the book, inserting a bookmark at the page she had written on.
All right, but now over to all the stuff which was good =) Your grammar and spelling is wonderful, and so is the structure, etcetc. The plot was great, and I think that what I said earlier, about descriptions, will add to the story generally, and so make the plot even more enjoyable.
I don't have much more to say, except: Good luck with the rest of it, and continue the good work!:DAuthor's Response: Thanks! i'll try and review one of your stories sometime. and i'll work on what you said. Report Review
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