Reading Reviews for Before Night Falls
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marisalovesharry My Love

8th December 2008:
I LOVE IT.
NICE AND SIMPLE
10/10 FOR SURE
REALY CUTE
GREAT JOB

Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you liked it

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Review #2, by Proud Hufflepuff My Love

21st December 2007:
To be quite frank and honest, the horrible grammar completely ruined the story. You had a wonderful story, but grammar that was just as bad in addition to randomly thrown in things, such as the middle part where you tell the outcome of the war. It was simply sporadic and unneccesary. I'd recommend finding a beta on the forums to help you out with your grammar. ;)

Good luck!

-Carrie

Author's Response: well i do have a beta, but i'm waiting for her to get back to me with a two other chapters for my other story. i'll send them when she gets time. Thanks Carrie :)

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Review #3, by JesseBlack My Love

12th December 2007:
cute and nice and sad... it's well writen but i didn't understand who fred's killer was

Author's Response: we don't actaully know who Fred's killer was in the book :(

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Review #4, by chiQs09_II My Love

11th December 2007:
Wow, that was quite a surprise. I never thought of Alicia Spinnet. Wonderful job with this one-shot. I love it. It was also wonderfully well written, and I think you're improving your writing style.

Keep up the good job, my friend.
chiQs09
^_^

Author's Response: Thanks. I'm glad I'm improving :)

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Review #5, by Girldetective85 My Love

9th December 2007:
Hey! How are you? :) I'm finally here to review your story.

Okay, I'm confused. This was a beautiful George/Alicia fanfiction, but it is told by Alicia the whole way through, is it not? Then why, at the beginning, is she hugged by someone named Alicia? Did you mean Angelina? Here it is: "He chuckles and smiles down to me. Then he moves away, and I’m hugged by his brother, and then Alicia." I just got a little thrown off by that.

In this sentence "Fred! My heart snaps cleanly in two. My best friend! The brother to my bestest friend." I don't think "bestest" is a word, how about replacing it with dearest?

Otherwise, the spelling and grammar were in good shape. I think this is the first George/Alicia story I've read, and their relationship is very sweet and believable. I love that they named their son Fred at the end, I think it's something both of them would definitely do to honor him.

Nice job! :)

Author's Response: Thanks. Yeah, I meant Angelina *hitsselfinhead* that was stupid :P

thanks for the review, i'll fix it up when i get time


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Review #6, by prongsie_potter_rulez My Love

4th December 2007:
this is very good (: i love the descriptions and characterizations.
but, you see all the exclamation marks? i'm not a huge fan of exclamation marks in stories, as they can be used too much and take away from the emotion - but used correctly, add to it. in some places, it fits in well. but, in places like -
I was safe in his arms. For now!
and -
Voldemort!
i feel it would be better with just a single full stop, to puncutate the story more.

the grammer was good, only a few mistakes i can spot. it was a little hurried, but i suppose it is about a battle. (:
well done!

Author's Response: thanks mary, it was a bit rushed :P but i don't know how to do battles. i'll take some of the out, and put a fullstop :)

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