Oh,how wonderful.This is such a great story.I wish you had made it longer though

Author's Response: Thanks very much!! If I ever do a re-write it'll be longer =) Thanks for the review!

Craig

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wow its amazing! I really like it!

Author's Response: Thank-you very much!

Craig

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As always with my review request thread reviews, I have to start off with an "I'm so sorry for the wait". And I really mean it. With exams and everything going on, it really has been hectic, so my aim is to clear my list completely, and put the thread on hold - once I've sorted stuff out, feel free to post again!

Okay, so as for your story - I really, really liked it. I think I'll start off with the constructive criticism first, shall I?

OKay, so at times I think the style of your writing was a little "facty", if you know what I mean - and I'm not saying you should change that, I just wanted to say that it's not my personal favourite was of writing. For example, "On either side of the common room, was a staircase one leading to the boy’s dormitory and one leading to the girls. Wound around these oak staircases were Christmas garlands, which set the scene nicely." < That little excerpt is fine, and gramatically etc, it is perfect, but my only problem is that it seems a little wooden, as though you were saying "and they said this, and then she walked over here, next to the tree" etc, rather than openly writing it with a little more "oomph".

Another thing I'd like to bring up is that sometimes you use unnecessary punctuation, which I often do myself, so excuse the hypocrisy! :)

Those are really the two main things I notice that I think needed to be commented on, and even they are not necessarily "mistakes", or "bad". :)

I really like the way you made Harry question everything - making me think about things I've never thought about before. "What IF Harry hadn't met the Weasley's?" "What if, after all the wishing of meeting his family, he finally gets his wish and it was far from what he had expected? Far from what he had wanted?" I love that you got me thinking, not many fanficition authors can do that!

As for the speech, sometimes it can be a little formal, thus making the characters seem a little OC, even if the thought behind the words is incredubly canon, so I would keep an eye on that - it's nothing major, but just something small that could make the story EVEN better!

I can't wait to see what happens next! Good job!

Author's Response: Hi,

I'm glad you liked the first chapter! Thank you very much for pointing out that my writing is a little "facty" and yes I think i'd havr to agree with you there! Thanks also for pointing out that there is unessesary punctuation in here! I will get my beta to go over the chapter as soon as possible! Thanks for the constructive critisism, i really do apprecaite it! As it tells me where I need to improve in certain areas of my writing =)

Although I would like to give you a huge thank you for praising my writing too! I made Harry question everything because I had a feeling thats how he would be if ever he was in this situation... and wow "I love that you got me thinking, not many fanficition authors can do that!" I've acheived a goal then! Thanks for the wonderful review...I shall be requesting another soon!

Yours Magically
Craig


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Hi Craig,
I was just wondering, why Lily's parents didn't attend the Potter's Christmas dinner. Were they with Petunia for the celebration? It's just something I realized and the question wouldn't leave me alone! LOL!! Cheers, Lily M.E Potter

Author's Response: Hi Lily,

Well... hmm, do you know I never really thought about Lily's Parents. Its just dawned on me that they were proud of having a witch in the family! But I'm guessing Lily did invite them but Petunia not being very fond of the Wizarding Word, kicked up a fuss and so they couldn't go in the end!

But if I ever do a re - write i will probably include Lily's parents in to the story!

Yours Magically,

Craig

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Hi Craig,
I just wanted to say thank you sooo much for already putting me on your faves list. It is really encouraging to be someones favorite before my first story is even validated LOL, anyway my oneshot about Lily and James should be up soon, please read and review! Just so you know I added you to my fave authors as well and "My Christmas with Mum and Dad" is my favorite Story. thanks a bunch!!! Lily M.E Potter

Author's Response: Dear Lily,

It was no problem at all adding you to my faves. I really cant wait to read your one short about Lily and James

Magically Yours,

Craig

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Well done, this story was really touching. I especially loved that Lily, James and Harry will all remember that Christmas together. Because normally in the time travel fics everyones memories get modified after. It was nice that the Potters had the mirror of Erised so Harry realised how happy this Christmas had made him. But why didn't they question who he was when he arrived at Godrics Hollow, if it were me I would be suspicious. Can you return the favor and review my fic, when it gets validated? Lily M.E Potter

Author's Response: Hello,

Thankyou for giving me such a wonderful review! I am glad that you loved "the fact that Lily James and Harry will remember that Christmas together" This time travel fic is quite different to some of the others! I agree that placing the Mirror Of Erised in the Potter Family home was one of my great ideas, I am very glad you like that idea.

Well in answer to your question of "Why didn't they question who he was when he arrived at Godrics Hollow,". The answer is I believe that Lilly and James would have trusted their perental instinct, as they would know Harry when they saw him know matter how old he was. Plus Dumbledore set it all up, so when he arrived in Godric's Hollow, they would be prepared for him. I hope that clears up your question!

And of course I will review your fic when it is validated, If you wish to keep intouch about each others fics, you can add me to your address book on
cdjohnson-updates@hotmail.com

Yours Magically,

Craig

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aw! *immediatly adds to favs* why so short??? i loved it! so fluffy and cute! great job!
~Liz

Author's Response: Hey Lizzy,

I am really glad you liked it! I loved writing the whole story! In answer to your question. It is only ment to be a short tale, because it fitted the story line. As Harry only had 48 hours with his family. But the Christmas he had with them, I am sure he will never forget it! Hope that answers your question Liz!

Yours Magically,

Craig

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'lo, there!
This was a beautiful story, and extremely touching. It was exactly how I envisioned Harry and his parents, as well as various people from his past that he misses dearly.
Just one thing though-there is only one 'l' in Lily.
Marvelous story,
Chianna

Author's Response: Thanks for the great review Chianna! I'm really glad you liked the story! I can tell you I really loved writing it! Thanks also for the tip about Lily's name!

Magically Yours,

Craig

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I am left wondering if Ron and Hermione woke remembering the amazing Potter christmas dream, still never mind that, I enjoyed the story and It was as you said a tale for Christmas.

Author's Response: Hello,

In answer to your question, no Ron and Hermione did not remember the Potter Christmas dream. As Dumbledore only gave the timeturner to Harry. He didn't take Ron and Hermione with him. However, Dumbledore enchanted the magical time peice to show Harry what a Christmas with his family would be like. Lilly and James would of known the Weasley's and they would of met Hermione through Harry in the summer, so that is how Ron and Hermione got there. I hope that this answers your question. I am so glad that you enjoyed my story and I loved writing it. Hanks for your review!

Magically Yours,

Craig

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Still a little short but what the heck I enjoyed it. Oh just a little tip, just a tad fewer Harry's and more He's in their place.

Author's Response: Hello,

I will try and write longer chapters in future. I am very glad that you enjoyed it as I enjoyed writing it! Thank you also for the little tip you gave me, it is much apprecaited!

Magically Yours,

Craig

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Hi, I have to say I thought this first chapter rather good and I will be off to the next very shortly, sorry if I sounded a little rude in my reply to the review you gave me, it's just that most every one who has reviewed my work and then asked me to read their work all seem to write about the one pairing I hate, I mean they should realise from my stories. Oh heck there I go rambling again, Anyway only a 9/10, cause it ended to soon I wanted a bit more.

Author's Response: Hello,

Thank you very much for taking the time to review this chapter. I apprecaite it! No, no don't worry you didn't sound rude, you were just staiting the pairings you disliked thats all. Thank you so much for saying that it was good thank you for the 9/10!

Magically Yours

Craig

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Hey!
is this finished?!
it's awesome btw...
kisses!
Lisa

Author's Response: Hey Lisa!

In answer to your question, yest this story is finished! Thank you so much for saying it's awsome, that means an awful lot to me I can assure you! If you want to be kept uptodate with my stories add
cdjohnson-updates@hotmail.com
to your email account. I hope that you will continue to read my storeis in the future!

Magically Yours,

Craig

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Awww! Juts brilliant and so sad (at the end just a little!)!! You're really a great writer!! Toodles!!
PS I also wish you a happy year!!

Author's Response: Hello,

You have really made me smile, Thankyou so much for saying I am a great writer, it means an awful lot to me! I hope you will continue to read my stories in the future as there will be many more to come. If you wish to stay in touch about my stories add

cdjohnson-updates@hotmail.com

to your email account

Magically Yours,

Craig

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Hey there!! i am so glad this fic is up and finished now! (took its time due to queue) and you have done a really good job with it! it is magical, and moving, and fun to read, all at the same time. this chapter was great, and had some really lovely descriptions. i liked how you brought in harry's grandparents, and really made it truly a family christmas for harry. Also the present ideas were really creative, and just what i would imagine they would buy each other if things had turned out different with that prophesy and voldemort (dang him lol) i'm sure harry would like to thank you for giving him the opportunity to have this time with his family and friends! excellent job, well done!
Rose :)

Author's Response: Dear Rose,

I am so very glad that you like the final installment of 'My Christmas with Mum & Dad' Thankyou for commenting on the lovley descriptions I apprecaite it. I think that I owe you a massive thank you. So Thanks for putting up with me and supporting my writing while this last chapter was been written and published. I Thankyou for editing this chapter. As my grammar is generally good but as you put it "Needs a bit of tidying" lol. So thanks for all you've done while I've quilled this Christmas Fan Fic! I am glad you commented on Harry's Granparents, i'm also glad you thought 'It made it truly a family christmas for Harry" as you have said that, It means I have achived my goal!

Magically Yours,

Craig

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Very creative piece of writing.

Author's Response: Hello Liz,

Thanks for reading, I hoped you loved it. As I loved writing it! See you on Monday!

Magically Yours,

Craig

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that waz just as great as i had expected it to be.

Author's Response: Hey,

Thanks Elham i am glad you enjoyed that chapter! I loved writing it! I have recently just finished the thrid and final instalment of this Christmas tale! I can tell you it has a rather large word count. 3,318 or there abouts!

Magically Yours,

Craig

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aww wow!!! i really like this idea it's so sweet. thanks so much for dedicating it to me *blushes* because i DO love timetravel stories! i'm so sorry it took me so long to read this- i know i was about to read it a couple of days ago but just after i sent you the email we had to go out... which is typical...
anywhoo, great chapter- i'm gonna read the next one now!!
10/10
emi

Author's Response: Dear Emi,

I am so glad you like the idea of the story i am so pleased! I dedicated it to you not just because you are one of my faithful reviewers but because you have supported my writings for a while now! And i know you adore timetravle stories, i do to! I intend to write many more stories of timetravle next year. Hope you love the next chapter and i cant wait to see what you think of it! Thanks for the 10!

Wishing you a fanfastic Christmas and A great 2008!

Craig

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aw! So utterly sweet and brilliant!! Continue like this!! Toodles!!

Author's Response: Hi,

Thanks vey much, im so glad you like it! I am just adding the final touches to chapter 3 and I promise it shall be up in the new year! Wishing you a great christmas and a good 2008!

Craig

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yay! chapter 2!!! and just as good as i was expecting, and from what i had heard from the extracts you asked me to check! some of it is written so beautifully, one part that i specifically thought this for was:

'Harry reached out a shaking hand to touch his Patronus but as he did so, it vanished like glittering stardust into the night sky.'

I could really see in front of me the image of the patronus fading away, well done!! i also need to say that you did a pretty good job, as this subject with harry going back to see his parents is a very sensitive one, and also one that can be extremely cliche and sickly. But while some of it was a tinsy bit cringing to read, you handled it well and created a very moving story. again though there were some grammar mistakes which took away the effect and made it slower to read, but we can iron those out after the story is up!!

Anyways, i absolutely LOVE it! it is very magical and well written!!

cant wait for more!

Rose :)

p.s wow this sight is becoming high tech, now the review box has spell check in it!!!

Author's Response: Dear Rose,

I can safley say that you have made my day with this review! I also like that particular quote about Harry's Patronus, one of my good ideas i think. Thank yo for saying that i did a fab job with a sensitive topic *SMILES* SO GLAD YOU LOVE IT!

Wishing you the best for christmas and 2008!

Craig

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**craig, that is really good. i can't wait to see what happens. keep updating!!! **
;-)

Author's Response: Hi Elham,

Thank you so much! I'm really glad you read it and liked it! I posted chapter 2 on the 10th of December 07, so i'm guessing it should be up soon for you to read!

Magically Yours,

Craig

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yay! i finally get to read it!!! and am not disappointed! :D i love the idea so much, and the way that you wrote it! some of the descriptions and feelings were beautifully written! however, i did have a slight hard time reading it because of some comma's being in the wrong place... i was staring at the first paragraph for ages trying to work out what you were saying about the fire! but apart from grammatical issues, which i am sure you can sort out now that the rush to get the chapter up is over, this was utterly amazing! i cant wait to read more and find out what happens next! well done craig!!
Rose :)

Author's Response: Hello Rose,

I am so glad you finally got to read it, and I am equally pleased that you wern't dissapointed! I appologise about the gramatical errors. I think they must of been typing errors lol! :) I am so pleased that you said this was utterly amazing! It made me smile.

Thanks for a lovley review as always!

Magically Yours,

Craig

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Ciao! Very interesting and I'm waiting for more!! Toodles!!

Author's Response: Hello,

I am glad you find, this chapter interesting I loved writing it. As I hope you enjoyed reading it! Don't worry more will be on it's way, very soon i promise! I hope you'll keep reading!

Magically Yours,

Craig

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hey keep writing...its going gud!!!

Author's Response: Hello,

Thank you very much, for your kind words of encouragement. I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter, as I really enjoyed writing it! Yes, don't worry there will be more on the way, very soon! I hope you continue to read it!

Magically Yours,

Craig

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