Reading Reviews for Color Me Grey
  
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MW Color Me Grey

20th December 2010:
I think you did a good job with this fanfic.
The beginning was stronger than the end, and I think if you drew out the scene right before she spills her guts to him it would strengthen the piece. It seemed a little unrealistic to have her just start talking at once.
You did an awesome job with the descriptions of the colors, though - I loved that.

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Review #2, by Princess_MJ Color Me Grey

15th January 2008:
Wow, this story was absolutely fantastic. I couldn't look away from this story once! When somebody comes into my review thread I desperately try to find something to critique. That's why they come to me right? To find some way to improve.

Let me tell you, this story is perfect. If I continue to read fanfiction until I'm 80 I doubt that I could find a story as perfect as this.

Really, this story is great. Keep up the fabulous work.

~Princess

Author's Response: Omg thank you so much! People told me it was rushed, and I guess it could've gone slower, but I really liked the exploring of feeling and stuff. THANK YOU SO MUCH! You just made my day! I'd like to know what you think of my other stuff! In a few hours I should have a one-shot entirely about feelings called Spiral... I'd love it if you checked it out!
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #3, by Lily_girl Color Me Grey

18th December 2007:
OK. I really like this plot idea, its really good. I think that both Sirius and Amber were done really well. But (yes, here is the bad news :P), I think that you put too little about him bringing the colour back. It maybe should have had his thought about it all, him contemplating whether to confront her or not, him trying to make himself grow on her again, then, maybe after a week or something, he convinces her to talk. The story seems rushed because of the way you brought him in.

This story definitely has potential and YOU have so much potential as an author, you just need to add more to that. There were no major grammar mistakes that I notcied.

Good job! Going on my favorites.

8/10

Author's Response: Thank you! Yes I heard that it was a little rushed and I apologize. I think that the fact that I was working on many different things at the time helped because I was just a tad stressed. I never thought about doing it in Sirius' Pov but thats a good idea. If I have the time, maybe I will do that... Thank you for the help!
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #4, by CrazyForYou Color Me Grey

15th December 2007:
I look at a rose and do not feel a spark; that colorful emotion.
It doesn't really work. Change it to something like "...or any color of emotion"
If someone who was once my friend talks to me, I do not feel a stir in my soul.
Change the last part. Make active - My soul does not stir
You have a lot of those places where you can vary the tone by mixing in more active voice rather than passive and reflective.
"Here is how I have been reduced"
Change have been to was
Mostly word changes.
I think you kind of rushed the Sirius part though. I liked how he showed her colors, but then all of a sudden they're making out...
Other than that, it's a good story,
I can't wait to read more of your things. lol
I'll review your novel, but it will take me a while...

Author's Response: Thank you for all the help! I really like constructive reviews! I'm sorry if I rushed things a bit:( I just didn't want it to be so lenghty, and also I have the habit of dragging things on so I'm always scared to do that! Thank you!
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #5, by free2bemai Color Me Grey

14th December 2007:
Sirius is the BEST! he so sweet but very different form the other story.Great one-shoy by the way but know make sure you update your other story.
:)

Author's Response: Heheh but one shots are fun!!!!! Yea Sirius is sweet. But I could picture him this way in SLS too!
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #6, by the girl who lived13 Color Me Grey

11th December 2007:
Awe that was sweet, poor Amber I feel so sorry for her, I would die if my parents were killed! 10/10!

^_^

Author's Response: Yea I would too. But Sirius is so nice to her:D
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #7, by Cedrics_gurl Color Me Grey

1st December 2007:
Well...I for one certainly liked it...in fact, I loved it! I love the way you describe grey as the thing in between good and bad, light and dark...a hazy colour no one understands. I sympathised with Amber so much, and I have to say, this story is an emotions stirrer and a half!

I love the way you said that when Sirius touched her, she felt a flash of pink, the colour you had decribed as symbolic for love...I'm a sucker for that sort of thing! The way you said that everyone was waiting for her to approach them worked well, and I loved the way you made Sirius do the deed and be responsible for once. Your charaterisations were spot on! Well done!

Author's Response: OH thank you! I loved writing it, I also think that's it's an emotionally charged fic. Personally I hate the color grey and I decided to write it how I percieve it. I also thought that her being receptive to colors was a good way to show her emotions, or lack of them. And yes I loved writing Sirius like that. I'm such a sucker for romance.... Thank you so much, glad you liked it!
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #8, by weasleyswizardwheezes Color Me Grey

30th November 2007:
Fanflippintastic! And another word that I'm pretty sure your not allowed to say in a review (you know what it is yenna)!!I was soo going to be the first review, but then you had to call me and I wasn't!! Curse you! Anyways, I'm getting a tad distracted. Great story it really was truly fantastic! Loved it!

Author's Response: Aw thanks. Was it really that good? I just wanted a story that had meaning and depth, if you know what I mean...
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #9, by Hedwig123 Color Me Grey

30th November 2007:
Yay, I'm your first review!

Anyways, AMAZING job Ayana! I love it!!! Sirius is soo sweet to her!

Keep up the good work!
Hedwig123

Author's Response: Haha Kenna is gonna kill you for being the first review! Thank you so much! I love Sirius... He's so nice... Glad you liked it!

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