Wow. That's all I have to say. This one-shot is simply amazing. You picture Peter perfectly and explain to the reader what made him join the Deatheaters. And the last four paragraphs made shivers run down my spine. Great work!Author's Response: Haha, thanks. I didn't even know I was gonna write that and when I did I was like, "Hmm...is that really my story? I hate Peter." So it's kind of funny that people think I pictured him so well. =P Thanks again, I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
Awww! Poor Peter! It makes me feel dumb for feeling sorry for fictional character. I never thought about Peter's life like that, that his mother died and all that. I always just decided tht he sought out the dementors himself. Your story really made me open my eyes. Loved it! 10/10Author's Response: Well, I'm not saying Peter's life was like that, I'm not J.K. But I do think that if he was sorted into Gryffindor and was a Marauder that there had to be good in him and there'd have to be something that influenced him to do what he did. So I chose that possible scenerio because I do think something like that happened to him. I'm glad you love it and thanks for the review and high rating! Report Review
Hey there, hun. :) Sorry this took a bit for me to get to. Life got crazy all of a sudden, as I'm sure you're familiar with.
I really love stories that center around Peter. I think he's an interesting character to write about, especially during his years at Hogwarts and those that immidiately followed.
You had a couple of typos, but nothing major. However, there was one bit where you switched to third person.
I knew that Sirius had never gone out with any Slytherin or any of the Ravenclaws or Hufflepuffs who were rumored to be death eaters. Peter thought that if Remus swore loyalty to someone he would keep real. He was more like his mother. While James and Sirius were more like his father.
As far as your characterization goes, I think you did a pretty good job. I love the way you had his parent's relationship affect the decisions he made at the end. You did a wonderful job in that respect.
The only think I can say that I didn't like so much is that Peter told James and Sirius about Remus's furry little problem. I just feel like ... I don't know. That just doesn't sit so well with me, though I'm not entirely sure why. Sorry I can't be of more help there. :(
You're ending was really nice. It was very much like the Peter Pettigrew we get glimpses of in the books. Kudos to you!
Overall, really nice job!
nana_banana_xx3Author's Response: Ergh, I hate typos. Read the thing over twice! Although later tonight that'll be a third time, I struggle tons with those. I can't believe I actually switched third person, though, it's more natural of me to switch to first person. =P Oh well, I'll just edit it again, thanks for pointing that out to me.
Yeah, I'm a strong believer of everyone does the things they do for a reason or for things that have affected them in the past. So I just put that in with Peter, he loved his mom more so he followed her instruction.
I actually didn't like that part either because he gave up so easily and because it's clear that he's such close friends with Remus. That was the only kind of primary betrayal that came into my mind at the time though so I wrote it down. I might go back and change it if I happen to get a better idea though =/
Thank you for the lovely review don't worry about the time. I know how it is, this is actually the second time I've checked my reviews since I asked for one so you don't have to feel sorry at all. Report Review
Your tone in the beginning? Simple wonderful! Peter tells his story with just the voice I would have thought he'd have, if however with a bit of an american feel to it (it's the cussing, I think). The cussing is by the way also refreshing, however shady that sounds. I've gotten the impression that people are careful with words here.
You wanna call it weakness? That’s fine. However, I call it self preservation. Nice one!
The flashback is really nice - the first betrayal to his friends, almost. It shows how Peter is so afraid to lose his friends, and isn't very good at standing up for himself.
I love your view on happiness too, how he wasn't ever happy, he just had distractions to keep him laughing. I think that's what a lot of people do.
Also. Almost. I love almosts xD
All in all - I simply adore this! Adding it to my favourites for sure! Peter's story seems so plausible, and real, and I love his narrating. You've caught my view on Peter dead on!Author's Response: Oh, my god, you made my day! I'm glad you like it enough to put it on your favorites!
Wow, I didn't even think of a difference between an American and English feel. Rereading it I see what you mean, though, I'll try to be more careful with that. I know what you mean, because sometimes I feel like I'm going out of line with the language but decided that as long as it has a warning on that people should know what they're getting. =P
Yeah I just thought all those things really described Peter in a way that it makes sense that he did what he did although he wasn't really jumping up and down for the spot.
Haha, I loved the almost too! The finishing touch. =P
Thanks for the review it was really sweet and much apreciated! I'm glad you agreed with my view on Peter and that you thought it seemed real, that's what I was really going for. =D Report Review
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