Reading Reviews for drops of jupiter
  
50 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HpSaar searching

29th May 2008:
Good story!
I want to keep reading:)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I will continue to write, I promise! ^_^

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Review #2, by drowninginmusic searching

27th May 2008:
I like this story and I hope you update soon.

Author's Response: Thanks for the R&R! I really appreciate it, and I will update soon! ^_^

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Review #3, by Sarah_Bee searching

27th May 2008:
I hope she makes it out alive! This story is leaving me hanging!!! I know I have to wait till the Queue is open... that makes me a bit sad but I have exams this week so I guess studying will be the priority for me until Friday afternoon. However, I am going to be writing HP fan fics during my breaks...I have lots of new ideas.
Good chapter! This is really reminding me of Twilight.. I just finished Eclipse!

Author's Response: Aw, I'm sorry about that! Exams=end of school. Be happy. I know I was.

That's wonderful! I'm looking forward to seeing all those great ideas written out on paper!

Thanks soo much!! You are such a dedicated reviewer, I appreciate it a LOT.


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Review #4, by OvergrownEden9 draco malfoy

27th May 2008:
Oooh, suspense. I honestly am in awe of your non-rushed writing. I tend to rush haha. I love your characterization of Draco :)

Author's Response: Thanks! However, in later chapters, my writing does get kind of rushed and not nearly as descriptive. And thanks about Draco. He is so hard for me to write... Sometimes I have to get up and pore over the books for a while in frustration, trying to capture his personality in a better light than the one JKR gave him.

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Review #5, by OvergrownEden9 traveling

27th May 2008:
I'm pretty shocked to be honest. Why doesn't this story have more reviews? Weird.

I liked it. You didn't rush, and kept a steady pace. I think you went into a little too much detail about her appearance, I think... but it's barely noticeable and it's not terribly annoying as you blended it really well and you didn't say anything like "curves in all the right places".

After reading your reviews for this chapter, I'm going to disagree with the reviewer before me about the categorize thing. Many men are that sexist, and as she expressed her dislike for it I thought it was pretty interesting.

It also makes sense with the "she can't apparate" to me. You said that she was made an example by the Carrows, which could prevent her from being allowed to take the exam (being of muggle decent and all). It's interesting.

I really liked it to be honest! Do I give it a 10? Yes I do.

Author's Response: Aw, thanks! Truthfully, I'm happy with as many reviews I have now!

Yeah, I suppose the detail about her appearance is a bit too much, whereas, in another story, I hardly went into detail at all, lol. Thanks!

Thanks again. I did that intentionally, making her boss a bit of a character, and I'm sorry that I didn't explain that clearly enough for some readers.

Awww... A 10? Thanks soo much! I really appreciate this review and the fact that you took the time to write it!


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Review #6, by PhotoFairy 27 escape

25th May 2008:
this story was really, really good. it was gripping and really well written AND the story plot was fantastic. well done! Xx

Author's Response: Thanks! However, I'm not sure that you know that it's not quite complete, yet. Will be soon, though. Hopefully.

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Review #7, by subtle_plan traveling

24th May 2008:
Well, I can't believe you don't have more reviews. Your summary definitely caught my attention, obviously, which is why I'm here writing this review.

You have a very interesting plot; I'm almost struggling to fight down some plot-envy right here. I can't wait to see what happens between the main character and Draco once she gets to Malfoy Manor.

On a more critical note (because it is con-crit, after all.) I noticed that each one of your paragraph is about the same length. Try adding some variation with paragraphs of different lengths: it makes the reader feeling less bored and it helps the pace of the story.

And a few parts that irked me:
Of all my attributes, my eyes were the ones I was most attached to, because they set me apart from nearly everyone else.// here your eyes would be one of those attributes, so the sentence would have to be "Of all my attributes my eyes was the one I was the most [proud of, perhaps, because attached to sounds a bit funky in this context]etc"

Not enough to where someone could detect it, but just enough so that I could put down “of Muggle ancestry” on my résumé. It caused me some job losses, though, especially with those who had supported the Dark Lord.// why would she even put it down if it was so far back in the family and it caused her to be turned down for several jobs?

I was irritable, thinking of that wretched ‘category’ idea my boss had come up with. Every woman who was attractive and young was placed into one, and then those were split up into levels of intellect, and those were split up into the ones who could Apparate and the ones who couldn’t. I was placed in the attractive group at the second highest group of intellect, but, as was mentioned before, in the not able to Apparate group.// Don't really know what to say about that paragraph, but it seemed kind of intricate and pointless to me. I doubt wizards would classify witches like that, and lastly in a category of whether or not they could apparate, of all things. It just seems kind of unlikely that anyone would care about that. And besides, from what we hear in JKR's books the vast majority of witches and wizards can apparate. You could have gotten the fact that your character can't apparate past much more smoothly if you dropped this paragraph and instead said something "I cursed the fact that I had never been able to apparate..." or something.

Just some tips and hints to help you improve :)

I'm definitely reading on.

Author's Response: Wow! This is the longest review I have ever received! lol.

Plot-envy... something I suffer from during most of my life. I usually try to make the paragraphs as long as possible because I have a lot to say, just don't know how to say it in shorter or longer ways.

lol. I didn't really think about the eyes thing until you pointed it out to me. You know what I meant, and that's very well, but I think I should go and change it anyway, because attached has too many different connotations, especially in this sort of sentence. lol.

For the muggle ancestry thing, I made it a sort of requirement, because June has a bit of Muggle blood on her mother's side (her great grandmother was muggle-born). However, you do raise some interesting questions and I will check into those.

Well, June's boss is a sort of a character, and the only reason that St. Mungo's keeps him around is because he gets things done. I should have said that the group of the witches who couldn't Apparate was quite a bit smaller than those who could.

Thanks soo much! I've never had anyone really constructively critisize any of my work, even if it's just some humble HPFF. *le sigh* It's nice to see something giving me some tips, because otherwise I wouldn't be getting any at all.


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Review #8, by Sarah_Bee escape

24th May 2008:
i hope everything goes well with June! I love this story! God job. I can just see everything playing in my mind like a movie. I'm glad my computer is working now. Hopefully it won't crash again! I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Author's Response: Thanks! I love that, watching everything that's written play out in your head, just like a movie. I hope it won't crash either!

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Review #9, by Sarah_Bee sorrow

24th May 2008:
great chapter!!! I would've read this earlier but since my computer wasn't fixed, I couldn't get on the internet! Now my computer is working! *Cheers* so updates will happen as soon as the queue is open. I have exams next week so when I take a break in studying, I'll be writing the rest of the rewrite of My Fair Verity. Good chapter. I love how you protray June. I feel so bad for Mrs. Malfoy!!

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad your computer's working! Yay! My Fair Verity's coming back! Stupendous!

A lot of exclamations. lol.

I know. I feel sort of bad for her, too.


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Review #10, by Sweet Decadence sorrow

21st May 2008:
Poor woman. Update soon!

Author's Response: Thanks, and I will!

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Review #11, by crookshanks_kitten fighting

15th May 2008:
Amazing, love the idea of the Malfoys being vampires, and you've made it believable. Wonderful writing, a spooky tale.

Author's Response: Oh, thanks! I really appreciate that you took the time to read and review!

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Review #12, by as made famous by traveling

14th May 2008:
i like it, and i like that your character can draw, i really dont know why, probably because i cant draw. but this is really good!

Author's Response: Thanks! She doesn't draw much in later chapters, because she's too distracted.

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Review #13, by Sarah_Bee fighting

14th May 2008:
good chapter! I think I would be terrrified if I had to duel Mr. Malfoy!!! I love the suspense!!! I wonder who the voice is...I'm kind of thinking Draco. This story is amazing!
I read the response to my review from the last chapter. I did reread that chapter by the way. I know what's wrong with Mrs. Malfoy. I had appendicitis when I was in elementry. It's not fun.

Author's Response: I think anyone would be absolutely terrified of dueling with Mr. Malfoy! lol. Thanks! And was it really that obvious? *sighs* I'm beginning to get predictable, aren't I?

lol. Anyway, thanks for re-reading! I will add a note in the next chappie to make sure everyone understands. I've never had appendicitis before, but I've heard from people that it is rather painful.


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Review #14, by frozzen8roze musings

11th May 2008:
AH! you horrible, horrible person! how could you do this to me?!?!?! now i'm going to have to check this obsessively until you post the next chapter! awesomeness, i was definetely creeped out during the end. you may want to look over the beginning again; there are some awkward parts and repetitions (she gets dressed and does her hair twice). Also, malfoy seems a bit awkward, i'm not sure how to take the way he's acting: docile? concerned? tentative? calm? other than those couple things, it's very good. you're very good with suspense and your plots are very interesting and intricate. nice job!
~k

Author's Response: Yeah... lapse of creativity at the beginning, and then I found it again at the end. Nice of you to pick up on that! ^_^ Anyway, it will be updated soon, but both my sister and I have been really busy lately, because our teachers decided to wait until the last week of school to pile up the projects *sigh* Thanks for reading my story! You're a very dedicated reviewer!

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Review #15, by frozzen8roze frustration

30th April 2008:
okay, i cheated. i googled it. deimos? never would have gotten that. i was so ready to kill malfoy, i guess that translates to: good inducement of empathy. i call it being pissed at fictional characters. very good. YES!!! called the telepathy (your tricksy response to my review made me dizzy)! good stuff! actually, i don't have any comments on this one. i know, gasp. Oh wait, there was the --just kidding!
~k

Author's Response: lol. No, it wasn't Deimos, I'm sorry. When I said 'title', I meant the title of the story, "Drops of Jupiter" *hint* lol

lol. I like your getting angry at my characters/JKR's characters that I've toyed with a bit. lol. Thanks for the R&R, and I'm surprised you have absolutely no constructive criticism. Anyway, thanks!


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Review #16, by frozzen8roze fear

30th April 2008:
hey! sorry i haven't been on in a while. stupid real life. hmm, normally i'm good with myths and legends, but you have me stumped. very good chapter, major kudos! i like that you focused on breathing as a measure of both health and sanity, i'm a major fan of breathing, but i feel like if she's getting more and more stressed out and anxious, she would be breathing faster. if you chose to do slower as a character choice, would you mind highlighting that? but otherwise very awesome. you even had me yelling at the computer screen for narcissa to hurry up! nice job!
~k

Author's Response: June wasn't breathing because she holds her breath whenever she gets nervous. Like, let's say she was preparing for a major Healing exam. Just before the test, she would nearly pass out because she would be so nervous and unfocused that all her natural senses would stop working.

Thanks! lol. I'm sorry that you were yelling at Narcissa. She's fun to scream at, though.


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Review #17, by Sarah_Bee musings

28th April 2008:
good job! I love this chapter!!! I really want to know what is up with Mrs. Malfoy. If Lucius is a vampire, wouldn't his mother be??? Just a thought, have you ever read the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer? This story sort of reminds me of that. (probably because of the vampires)

Author's Response: Thanks! I think everyone is pretty much wondering what's wrong with Mrs. Malfoy, but I think I revealed it in this chapter. Perhaps you need another run through. And, yes, I did read the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer... They're rather good, aren't they?

I just wanted to wonder... Why would Lucius's mother have to be a vampire?


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Review #18, by Sweet Decadence musings

27th April 2008:
NO!!! don't stop it there! Don't hurt June!!!

Author's Response: She has been hurt a lot in this story, hasn't she? lol

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Review #19, by KilledByDrapery frustration

20th April 2008:
Good chapter. Hope to see more soon!

Author's Response: Thanks! Writing up the next one currently! ^_^

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Review #20, by AliceMalfoy frustration

16th April 2008:
wonderful.

carry on.

Author's Response: Thanks for the R&R! ^_^

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Review #21, by Sweet Decadence frustration

15th April 2008:
I love this story... I check every day if theres a new chapter up. Very original, keep up the fantastic work!

Author's Response: Awww. Thanks sooo much! ^_^

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Review #22, by Sarah_Bee frustration

14th April 2008:
good chapter! Love the way you write! I feel bad for June... I wish Malfoy would quit being such a jerk but he does show a softer side towards the end...I did figure he wouldn't die since after all, this is a Draco/Oc. He's supposed to date her... What is up with his grandmother?
Ok Roman Mythology. I do know there's a patron goddess named Juno. People considered the month of June to be the time to marry.Doesn't Juno relate to 'she who warns?' Is that on the right track??
It's been a while since I last looked at roman myths...I was in middle school and it's been about two or three years.

Author's Response: Thankies! Yeah, I figured the fact that this story was Draco/OC that it was kind of a given he wouldn't die. His grandmother... The reason to her ailments will come to light in later chapters, but here's a hint : look at earlier chapters *cough*with lucius*cough* lol.

Juno/Hera was the wife of Jupiter/Zeus/Jove it's for her that the month of June was named. She is thought to be the patroness of Rome and marriage and childbirth. Her Greek equivalent is Hera. You were right! Cookies to you! See if you can find the others!!!

Oh, I added in the myths because I'm taking mythology right now (it's a college course in a high school, and I jumped on it, go figure), so I thought it would be interesting to figure them all in. Also, if I may add, June was the name of Johnny Cash's second wife. Or was she the third? I can't remember, but they were married.


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Review #23, by AliceMalfoy fear

8th April 2008:
NO Malfoy don't DIE!

bleh.I hope he doesn't die.

Great chapter

Author's Response: lol. Don't worry, since I've already spilled the beans to Sarah_Bee, I think it's safe in saying that he won't die... lol. I cannot believe I said that...

Btw, thanks for the R&R! ^_^


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Review #24, by Sarah_Bee fear

6th April 2008:
good chapter! I hope Draco will be ok! Mythlogical references.hmmm... I haven't read any mythlogical stories lately.I did a couple years ago.let's see.Dracula is what comes to my mind but that's not exactly a mythlogical reference...
Fear? I don't know..umm.makes me think of vampires being scared of death and loss of blood.

Very good description by the way. I almost feel like Narcissa is purposefully taking her time getting the potion. Like she doesn't care about Draco. You get a cookie for making such a great chapter!

Author's Response: I don't know if Draco will be all right... Hmm... would add a lot of crying readers if, in the end, he did die. *gets maniacal laughter* *calms down* Don't worry. Would I really kill off Draco when she's supposed to fall in love with him? *almost kills self for giving away both the ending AND the next chapter*


Mythological references: *points dramatically at title of story AND at protaganists name* More hints to come in next chapter, which will hopefully be happier than this depressing nonsense... lol.


Fear is not really a mythological reference... I was just summing up the chapter in one word, and, for some reason, 'apprehension' didn't fit in so well, lol.


Aw, thanks! I really don't know about Narcissa... Perhaps she was only gone five minutes but because June was in such a flurry of emotions, it felt like an eternity. Awww. I get a cookie! My first cookie. Thanks!!!


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Review #25, by AliceMalfoy waiting

25th March 2008:
WOAH!!! that was a surprise!

Author's Response: Thanks soo much! ^_^

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