After reading your prologue and chapter 2 (which with prologue should be chapter 1), I note the following: spell check or a dictionary would be beneficial; a source for grammar and story structure would be of equal benefit. While your plot is interesting, it is thin; character development is vague; and, story structure (outline) is unsteady. It is not necessary to write "author's POV". Your writing should be so clear that the reader slides right into the point you are making.
Characters' conversation needs to flow better so that it reflects their personalities. It is too middle school quality of writing, tho I imagine there are 11 year olds who write more clearly. Report Review
its called spell check hun... Report Review
really like the beginniing...keep it up Report Review
that's really good. Hey would you like a beta? I'm starting out but I am really good with writing. E-mail me? firstname.lastname@example.org
Let me know.
Michelle Report Review
Great story so far can't wait for more and i can make you a banner if you want just email me at email@example.com Report Review
It was good, but it could have had more action or just more in the first chapter.Author's Response: there's more in the next chapters, i promise. I already have 11 chapter written. I am just waiting for the site to validate them Report Review
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