one word for this one shot - Mesmerizing

i really really really liked it :)

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great story and great writing. but you changed tense alot. thats all though. good job.

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Oh. This is beautiful. So perfect. You have such a lovely way with words!

"With rain drenching them from head to toe, they gaze at each other. Trying to find something within the other"

adds to favorites so I can read it again and again!

Author's Response: thank you! I'm glad you like it

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Hi there! Sorry about the delay in getting around to your story – things have been a little crazy. In any case I want to thank you for participating: D

Firstly I love the structure you employed in this piece, it was so transient and unpinned.. a style which I absolutely love. It gives a rather ethereal feeling to the writing and is very captivating.

One thing I would say is to be careful of your tensing. You slipped from past to present and back again in this piece which can be a bit distracting, especially when it is in this narrative style.

In any case I think you did a wonderful job. Thank you.


Cheers Kylie

Note: Now in terms of the results of the challenge, I had intended to notify everyone today but unfortunately have just run into a little blip along the way one of the entrants. As such I cannot post the results just now (it will likely be a few more days in which case I shall PM you all) but I did feel it was time to post all of the reviews. The reason for the delay is that I wanted to post all reviews at the same time for fairness really… that and a pinch of procrastination.

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I like it. it's really good. you are a great writer. 10/10
i was wondering.. how did you put your banners on?

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Awww! So cute! 10/10

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awww that was awesome! i love how the moon is ugly and beautiful in your story. and it was a very vivid chapter. Congratulations!

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It was pretty good. I only have two complaints... 1) it was really short...2) you kept switching tenses, from past tense to present tense and that was kind of annoying while I was reading it. Other than that, I must commend you on your art of "finding the perfect title." I didn't even read the summary or look at the banner, I just glanced at the title and it made me want to click on it immediately, which is, obviously, what I did...anyway, Good job, just work on keeping one tense throughout the story.

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WOW. That was deep, I liked how there was no diolouge.
10/10

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Oooo.I'm enjoying your poetic style.

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amazing. great writing.

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