omg again soo good!! woot!! aww i was almost crying- almost then my mom started yelling at me sooo. yea haha :D im so sad tho. david was such a good character, but im glad that alyssa got over him as well as she did. she deserves to be happy as well. wonderful story and now i wanna read other stories by u!! :DAuthor's Response: I'm glad you like it. I'm sorry to hear you almost cried. Part of the reason for this story was so I didn't have to let go of David. I'm hope you do read my other stories. Report Review
I really loved your story. It was really cute but the ending was unexpected. As I am writing this review I still have tears on my face. I bawled at the end! It was so sad. But I'm glad Freddie and Alyssa got a happy ending. But great story, you have talent!Author's Response: Thanks, the ending was kind of thrown aout at you, but there was such a gap between the regular story and the epilgue that no one could have really seen it coming. I'm sorry I made you cry. I actally printed this whole story off for a friend while I was writing it and I always gave them to him before second hour, and he would read them while our teacher was talking. When I gave him the epilogue the first thing he said to me after class was that it was really sad, and him and our other friend have third hour together, so what he did was walk up to her and say flat out to her "the epilogues sad". Sorry about that, I just had to tell that story. I had to give Fred and Alyssa a happy ending. I'm glad you like the story, I'm so happy you think I have talent. Report Review
I really enjoyed your story, and the ending was very sad. My only criticism is that its impossible to compare shampoo to the color orange, because only things that are similar can be compared. Altogether, though the story was really good.Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you like it. I got the shampoo/orange thing off a website that's there thing not mine. That was just a random thing I threw in. It's not supposed to make sense. Report Review
very very good!
-adahpfanAuthor's Response: Thanks! Report Review
aw!!! thats was a total twist but who could u kill david reallyAuthor's Response: I'm sorry, but it was the kind of thing I had to do. It makes more sense in the paralell, Love and War. Report Review
I will try my best to remember what I wrote the first time for this chapter, ok?
AWSOME CHAPTER, BUT IT WAS SAD! I feel terrible for Alyssa. That just stinks what happened. He gets together with Alyssa then he is just dead. Darn. This is really going to make her teen years and the rest of her life really stink. I really hope that kind of thing never happens to you, me, Kaitlynn, or Justin.
I am glad that she ended up with Fred. I'm not saying I prefere Fred over David cause I'm not! I'm just glad it wasn't Dynamite. He seemed like an ok guy sometimes, but he proved he can get a bit out of control (I'm talking about when he knocked out David). It just would have seemed wrong if it were Dynamite. Since she couldn't marry David due to the 'circumstances', Fred was my second choice for her.
I must say this was sad. I kind of figured it was going to a bit sad since the way the last chapter ended. I didn't cry, but those last couple of paragraphs made my eyes a bit fuzzy, but I'm alright. It must of been pretty hard for you to kill him like that. Wasn't the whole reason you started this story in the first place was because you didn't want to let go of Love and War? Now this one is over. This stinks. Anywho, it was a good chapter and story over all. This and Finding Happiness are my two favorite stories out of every single story I have read on this site, and I'm not just saying that.
I would say 'update soon, please!', but I can't so I am looking forward to updates on anything or possibly any new stories.
1110/10!!Author's Response: Okay.
I'm glad you liked it! It really sucked for Alyssa. Her life does suck until she starts going out with Fred. I know, I couldn't stand it if it happened to you, me, Kaitlynn, or Justin.
I'm glad she's with Fred, too. David was a better match for her, but he's gone so Fred's the next best thing. If she was with Dynamite it would've sucked big time. He seemed ok, but when the whole alyssa thing came into play he began to show his true colors. Dynamite ruined his chances, though.
It was sad, and I cryed when I wrote it. Due to what happened in the last chapter though it wasn't unanticipated, though. I'm sorry. It was hard it really was. I know this story came out of my inablility to let go of Love and War, and now I'm really done. I'm glad that two of my story's are your favorites, it gives me that warm fuzzy feeling inside! Ha!
I just put on a new next generation. Titanic! Report Review
totally unexpected. really, really unexpected. how guilty would teddy, cody and victorie be feeling? well more so victorie. i cant wait to. yes i WAS going to write 'read the next chapter' lol. that might be a little hard.
it was a good story, i really enjoyed it.
10/10 two thumbs up!Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. I guess it was just kind of thrown at you, but battle sequences aren't my thing because it's not what I usually write. Report Review
GREAT CHAP BUT I AM SAD!!! This chapter seemed like a fast pase one, well, at least faster then the last one. I was right about the crash thing though. Jeez, the battle and everything happened so quickly. I can't believe it is already over. I am glad though that David got to talk (and more) to Alyssa before David... (pause) the thing that happened at the end. I don't have much to say. I think we talked about this chapter for a while already, so. (another pause)
I FEEL REALLY BAD FOR ALYSSA!
He finally kissed her, and he dies! I must say, that is going to make being a teenager for her alot harder then it already was. And it is going to stay being hard for her her entire life! Shoot! I really hope that doesn't happen to me or you. I would feel almost just as bad myself if that happened to you instead of me. Remember that problem I have of putting my self in other people's shoes? That problem wouldn't help in that situation. Lets just hope it doesn't happen to you, me, Kaitlynn, or Justin. Anyway I should stop talking about that before I get too upset.
Well, since I know there is another chapter..
Update soon, please!!!
100/10Author's Response: Thanks, and I'm sorry about that! Is fast pase a bad thing? I'm just so bad at writing that battle because I'd feel like I had to put down who was dueling who and I would feel like it was draging on and on.
I KNOW IT SUCKS SO BAD FOR ALYSSA!
I'm sorry, but I've been planning that scene for forever and you know it! Alyssa's life is going to be much more difficult then most teenage girls and it sucks. I really don't want that to happen to us. Yeah, and when people die in stories I have that problem too. I really really hope that it never happens to me, you, Kaitlynn, or Justin. I would cry my eyes out!
I will! Report Review
GREAT CHAP!! This is kind of weird. When I think about it, alot just happened right there: the wedding, his sister moving out, getting a new brother-in-law, talking to his grandfather, Fred telling him that he is 100% sure Alyssa likes him, and that thing with the crash at the end. The weird thing is, I don't have much to say. I guess it is because I basically told you everything.
Anyway, that crash at the end there, what I am thinking is that that crash is leading to 'the end' (*sniff* *sniff*), am I right??? Anyway, I am basically going to ask I think the same question I asked last chapter, are we going to see Alyssa in the next chapter, or one or so more without her? I would like to add that I have noticed that David talks to Fred alot about girls (meanly mainly Alyssa). I don't know how all guys are like that are in Fred's position, but he is doing a very good job of staying serious, and not making fun of him in the process! Props to Fred and to you for making him like that!! Anyway great chapter. I still have another chapter on this story and Finding Happiness to review.
Update soon, please!!
P.S. Congradulations on becoming a trusted author. I can brag about my best friend on the internet so why not?Author's Response: Thanks! Was it rushed? If it was was it in a bad way that made it bad? These are the questions that haunt me.
I know, cliff hanger allot of people are probably mad about that. It is leading to that *bursts into uncontrollable sobs*. We will see a little Alyssa in the next chapter, but not much. In the last one we'll see more of her. David has really learned that Fred is a good sorce for girl advice, and Fred is the kind of guy who can stay serious in a conversation like that, which is great. I'm glad you like the way Fred is!
Thanks about the TA thing! I called Justin earlier and literally screamed it into the phone. He said it hurt his ear so I said I was sorry, and I meant it. I just had to yell it. Report Review
Great chapter. This story just keeps getting better and better. 10/10Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you like it! Report Review
Hi. I love it. I was HarryGinnyFan18. I'm crying too. I know that he is going to die. They have one more chapter lave? I want to see Alyssa? ~Jackie~ 100-100/Author's Response: Thanks! I saw that you got another new pen name! Don't worry, you'll see Alyssa again! Report Review
GREAT CHAP! There wasn't much Alyssa in this one, but how could there be? It wasn't her wedding. Maybe we will see her next chapter? Sorry, I don't have much to say. Alot of this happened in Love and War. Ok, maybe not alot, but some.
I feel pretty bad for David. He is accutually brave and smart enough to try and tell Alyssa he likes her. Most guys I don't think would try as hard as he is, and he still can't get a moment with her. I feel pretty bad for Alyssa, too. She probably knows he was trying to tell her something important, and now has to wait this entire time not knowing what it is. For almost any girl in that kind of situation, it would really suck. Anyway, great chapter.
Update soon, please!!
110.1/10Author's Response: Thank You! I'm sorry there wasn't much Alyssa in this chapter, but you know it's just the kind of thing where she just wouldn't fit in as well in my opinion. I know allot's like Love and War, so I forgive you.
I know, poor Davey! He's trying so hard to tell her now to make upo for all the time he was to clueless to tell her, but now that he is he keeps on having tons of bad luck which really sucks for him and Alyssa. She does know that whatever it is he keeps trying to tell her, it's really important. It does really suck for her! Report Review
GREAT CHAP! This chapter was a bit more exciting. When I said in my last review that David is stupid for not telling her, well he isn't as stupid apperhently as most. He was at least trying to tell her. Then BAM. Cue Dynamite. He has such good timing. Dynamite is the really stupid one here.
Ok, really quick since I keep on saying people are stupid, I am going to put the guys in order from smartest to dumbest just to clear things things up, ok?
4. Those other guys Dynamite was with after he hit David
Now that we are clear on that, I can't believe David forgot what he was going to say in the hospital wing. Why couldn't Fred have come first, remind him, then Alyssa came in. Well, its your story. By the way, thanks for the cliff hanger even though I am one out of three people (including you) who knows what happens.
(Now I can finally say it) Update soon, please!!
110/10Author's Response: Thanks! I wanted a more exciteing follow up to that not so exciteing chapter. He's not quite as stupid now that he's at least trying to tell her, he's just having some bad luck. Stupid Dynamite, but on the upside, all of Dynamite's chances with Alyssa are flat out dead!
Thanks for clearing up the stupidity list, but to be honest, I would have put Dynamite #4, and those other guys number three, but that's just me.
David forgetting was one of the things that Dynamite hoped would happen. It does suck that Fred came in second and told him what he was going to tell her after Alyssa had already been there.
By the way, if you're coundting me in thta one of three people thing then (at least in the case of some chapters) you'd be one of four people who've read it, remember.
Now I can finally say this, I will! Report Review
GREAT CHAP! Yeah, it wasn't the most exiting thing ever, but you can't have a life-changing event in every chapter. Once again, I am not sure what to say considering I already told you everything. But I must say, David is stupid!!! (he is a boy though) He needs to tell Alyssa how he feels. You never know when your last day is *sniff*. (by the way, i am not taking my own advice. I am going to be stupid like him.)
Ok, I cannot think of another thing to say, and I still have another chapter to review. I would say 'update soon, please!' but you already did.
110/10Author's Response: Thanks! I know it was not the most exciting thing ever, but they deserve a break from life changeing events every now and then. That's not why I wrote it that way, but it's true, I just thought of that right here and now. David's just being a butthead about the whole Alyssa thing! It's boy stupidity, though. You know, the kind that makes them ask you out through a letter or mail you your Christmas present? Ha! Sorry I had to make fun of those to idiots! Sorry guys, but it's true! Anyho, he really should tell her, and I can imagine that you wouldn't take your own advice. Could I say something if you died though? Just kidding, don't kill me!
GREAT CHAP! I don't have much to say since I have read the entire story and already told you my thoughts on it. But I am going to try my best to write a long review as I always do. Well, (ummm.). It was well written as usual. Grammer is always getting better. I am sad the story is over. I am happy David finally kissed Alyssa even though he didn't exactly mean to (and I know how everything turns out *sniff* *sniff*) Oh!, and I must say Fred needs to tough'n up a bit. I will give him some slack considering who he was wrestling and I doubt his dad was going easy on him.
By the way, I am reeeaaalyyy really sorry I haven't left a review lately. I have been so busy and the whole hospital deal (I told you about that) didn't help. I have had honor band too, plus I not supposed to be on the computer for hours at a time any more. Darn. I would say update soon, please, but you already did.
110/10Author's Response: Thanks! Don't tell how it ends! You are one of two people who've read the entire thing! Well, actually maybe one of three, but you get the idea. At this point everyone who's read it ahead of time has liked it so that's a good sign. I know your views one that deal with Fred, but like you said, George wasn't going easy on him at all! To add to that it was a sneak attack and they caught him really off gaurd, so that didn't help.
It's okay. You reviewed now, and that's all that matters. That hospital deal really had to suck. I told you what I was doing during the honor band: sitting at home bored! I'm still mad at him! Well, your health is a good reason not to be on, so I forgive you. Report Review
Hi .When we are going to see Natalie when David dead?
~Jackie~Author's Response: Sorry to bring you down, but we're not. Do you want to know how I know this? I'm already done writeing the story! You get to read about Alyssa! Report Review
cant wait for more!! wahoo!! alyssa and davey kissed! hehe! just to add some more confusion! hehe! update please!Author's Response: The next update will be soon! Report Review
where was the mild sexual nature!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?Author's Response: Wait for it Report Review
Hi. I love it. What happend to Natalie? I want to see Natalie and David togethre before he dead. I want to see it in her eyes. You know u should do have Natalie and Daivd sex and Natalie as his baby what do u think? I reallly want David and Natalie to be toegher. ~Jackie~ 100-100.Author's Response: Thanks! Natalie got back together with Brad because she was using David to make Brad jealous. Natalie's just a *****. She never liked David, and if you haven't noticed it's Alyssa who really likes David, not Natalie. We won't be seeing much of Natalie in future chapters, because, well, she was mainly to help show how Alyssa felt about David. Report Review
Hi, I love it. When we are going to read about Daivd & Natalie being together. 100-100! ~Jackie~ UPDATEAuthor's Response: Thanks! David and Natalie broke up in the last chapter. Or, was that a typeo, and you meant Alyssa? Report Review
AWSOME!! I am glad David finally figured out the truth. He is lucky that Alyssa forgave him as easily as she did. Sometimes, friends can't get along that well. Be nice if they always did. We wouldn't have to deal with all the stupid fights at school (usually between girls, but no offense to those of you who are like that. It is just annoying).
I don't really have much to say considering I have read almost the entire story. Oh I just want to say that I think Fred is awsome. He is like his dad with the whole pranking, jokes, humor, and creative thing, but he is also smart and actually does his homework! I wish he was real. Us two could friends with the guy. Anyway, update soon, please!! (even though I am not exactly loking forward to the end if you know what I mean.)
100.1/10!Author's Response: Thanks! I'm happy he finally figured out the truth too! He is lucky that Alyssa's such a forgiving person. I know what you mean about the whole friends non being that forgiving thin. It would be so nice if everyone's friendships were as good as David and Alyssa's.
I know, I really like Fred too. He's like his dad, only he's more serious about school. It would be so awsome if he was real, and I can see us being really good friends with him. He sounds like your kind of guy! I'll update soon! Report Review
id seen this story a few time but never was game enough to click on it. so i did, and i love it! youve created a really good character, i really enjoy reading it. keep writing and i will definetly keep reading! *smiles* i r3ecognised the little zoe101 episode as soon as i read the authors note!! very lever, and i love the show too!!
two thumbs up and 10/10!!!Author's Response: Well, I'm glad you read it! I also love that you love it. I'm glad you like him, and it's good to here that you'll keep reading! I'm glad you like! I like the show too, did you here about how it got canceled? Report Review
I cant wait for the next installment heheAuthor's Response: Soon. Report Review
bravo bravo hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaAuthor's Response: Thanks! Love the enthusiasum! Report Review
Great chpter. It kind of showed David's life at home. By the way, how long does this take place after they get home for break. David seems really bored if it is the first day or so back at home, but isn't that how we basically all are?
Anyway, I fell a little bad for David for having to deal with his aunt, but at least he got away for a while. Also, I must say that they can hang out at each others' houses like they did and not think about what other people would think or think that it is just awkward (sorry if I spelled that wrong).
I have also done a little random thinking here. You know how people can use floo powder to get to just about anywhere that has a fireplace? Wouldn't that be kind of weird if that was real. People, whether they are your friends or not, could show up at your home basically anytime and do whatever they wanted in your home. If that was real, might as well leave the front door open day and night!
Anyway, when David was desperate at home and wanted to talk and visit Alyssa, how come he didn't want to talk to Natalie? Wasn't she the one he said he had real feelings for and really liked? Hmmm?? So he decided to go visit his friend he was yelling at in previous chapters instead of his "girlfriend"? Guys are just strange.
Anyway, update soon, please!
P.S. Sorry that I rambeld on and on.Author's Response: Thanks! I like how it shows his home life too. This chapter starts the day he gets back for break. Yeah, he was basilcally just bored that day, it kind of reminds me of the two of us.
It sucks how he has to deal with his aunt, but it's good he got away. The two have been friends so long that they can hang out eachother's houses without feeling awkward (and if you spelled it wrong so did I)
It would be weird if it was real, but I'm pretty sure every house has it's own spesific name (ex. Shell Cottage, Weedle Beach, The Burrow, etc.) so people have to know a houses name to get in. But it would be kind of like leaveing the door opened.
One reason he didn't visit Natalie was he didn't know where she lived (sad, I know). He was just having a moment where he needed his best friend. He was so desperate to leave he kind of forgot the arguement. Guys are strange, I know.
P.S. I enjoy long reviews, keep it up. Report Review
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