This is SO funny... Kreacher is adorable. I don't care if he's an ancient little wizened house elf, he's adorable!! And so is Albus.

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It is better, and very original. I like it. Can't wait for an update!

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm writing more right now!
-Atropa

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Oh, this is going to be hilarious! I can just tell! Just one tip. Kreacher does not talk like a human, he leaves out some words.

Author's Response: I know, but I figured that after a while he would have picked up some more language tips (and I'm totally envisioning Hermione having language courses for house elves by now).

Thanks for the great review!
-Atropa

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These are funny. I like!

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you like it!

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Ha that's hilarious, I love it!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed reading it!

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I like the storytelling part between Albus and Kreacher. Good moment and nice touch with the moving pictures for use with the storytelling.

Author's Response: Thanks! I thought that Albus would want Kreacher to draw illustrations, but I thought they should be magical. I made them move! I'm glad you liked them.

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Aw, how sweet!
I like the new improved Kreacher! The Potter family is very lovely, you wrote their characters very well!
There was nothing wrong with the first chapter either, I don't know , where you get that idea from! It would be great if you continued this story line!!
HW

Author's Response: Thanks! Your feedback is so encouraging!

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GREAT! This was a really funny story. You got Kreacher's character to a perfect 'T'.
10/10

Author's Response: Thanks!!! You are sooo nice!
*huggles*

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Hi, this is CharmedOne with that review :)

Now, I think you have good ideas, but I'm not sure whether you know how to write a good story yet. There were cute family moments throughout the piece, but this was WAY to short to be believed as a full chapter. You have a great idea, which has a lot of patential for comedy, but you're not giving the reader the meat on the bones yet so-to-speak. In this kind of story, you need to flesh it out SO much more, you need to build the characters, the setting, the dialogue - all those things that are really important in a novel were kinda skimmed or just skipped over. Maybe read some recommended humour fics, and find the technical aspets which make them so good - I just think you need to have a look at the writer's resources section on this site and learn some tricks of setting, character and dialogue, experiment and find out what works for you :)

Sincerly,
CharmedOne

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! This isn't really supposed to be a novel. It's supposed to be somewhere between a short story and a novella, but I forget what I set it too...

Anyways, I just wrote the first chapter one day when I was bored, and posted it for fun. I've got a second chapter coming, and I think it'll help a lot!

Thank you so much for the review! It really helped!

-Atropa

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LOL
This is great! Keep going!
10/10

Author's Response: Thanks so much for such a high rating!
*squeals*
-Atropa

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see? i reviewed just like i would promise! hm. not a bad start... not bad at all... 8/10 cause kreacher is a nice guy! lol

Author's Response: Thanks for such a good rating!!!
*huggles*
-Atropa

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The first thing that I noticed is that there are a ton of spelling errors in this story, and I think that it is going to effect you when it comes to people reading your story. I would have liked to have been grabbed into the story instead of having to force myself to read it. You need to work on details, emotions, settings, plot, and characters. Over all 5/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I edited the spelling, and I think my story will start to make more sense once the next chapter is up.

Thank you so much for reviewing! *huggles*
-Atropa

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Hey there. :) I like the idea of this story. Kreacher is such an interesting character, and I'm sure he and Albus will have good fun while Mr. and Mrs. Potter are out, lol! However, I think that Kreacher's characterization was a bit off. Maybe not so much his actions as his dialogue. I think that, as a House Elf, his speech would be a bit choppier. I do like that you made him eager. In DH, he became very eager to please Harry and his friends, so it's good that you let that shine through in this chapter. Really, the only thing I would comment on is Kreacher's speech, and I think that that will just come naturally as you play around with it. Just see what fits him as a character. Go back and read sections of DH or OotP if you need to. Maybe even HBP has some good Kreacher moments. Good luck, and keep writing! nana_banana_xx3

Author's Response: Yaay! A review!

Ok...responding:

1) I'm in the middle of moving and I only have books 1 & 2 with me (grrr), but I should have the rest by the end of the month.

2) I thought Kreacher's speech would be a little better if he's been with Harry (and now Ginny) for quite some time once my story is taking place, so his speech might have progressed a little, but you make a very good point, and I'm going to make sure and take that into account when I finalize chapter 2.

I'm so glad you liked it!

-Atropa

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