Reading Reviews for Mystic Revelations
  
118 Reviews Found

Review #1, by JeanSyrotS Misgivings in H o g s m e a d e

22nd September 2009:
U know what? I think this one is my fav story of yours..well anyway, it's a neck to neck race between this and invisible deception...:D

so as a reader: Still and osum sotryline, still a cute -couple to be i hope- and i'm still in love with Sirius...just kidding!. i meant Remus...:D

and as a...person of catching things: I once mentioned before that you include adjectives in places where it isn't the usual...description. It would be oaky in rare places, that's what makes them kewl...but when you get to many of them, it get's indearing and difficult to read. So i'd say continue focus on the storyline with the readers attention as you have been, and then focus on the flow...

love ya, update soon!

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Review #2, by Kat Misgivings in H o g s m e a d e

21st July 2009:
Great Story..

Update soon...

Author's Response: Thanks! =D

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Review #3, by crazy4fred2 Misgivings in H o g s m e a d e

21st July 2009:
I love this story! please update soon!

Author's Response: Aww, thanks so much for the review! -They mean the world to me.

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Review #4, by quiche Prologue- The B u r i a l

24th June 2009:
YAY! It's up! Great job with your writing!

quichequiche

Author's Response: Haha, thank you so much for the review. You are too kind, and I am glad you like it. :P

Thanks a ton love!!
Erratic


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Review #5, by Lovegood Just one of t h o s e days

19th June 2009:
Hahahaha Dorcas is really funny! I love the way your portray her since there isn't much known of her in the books! Good job! I loved this chapter!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you. I really love to write about Dorcas. She is so carefree, and I am sometimes too serious. :)

Thanks so much for the review!

Big huggles,
Erratic


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Review #6, by whyus Just one of t h o s e days

19th June 2009:
Haha she jumped in a lake. Okay now I need to see some Remy Nathalie action. Not that the story isn't great or anything but I think Remus should make his move before Philipe does.

Author's Response: Haha, that is exactly what the next chapter is about. :) Thanks so much for the review! And I'll update within the next few days, I hope. ^_^

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Review #7, by xquisitely_sirius Enlighten m e n t

14th June 2009:
great story and chapter! i'm inrigued to whats going to happen next. update soon and where did you get your banner? i'm trying to get one for my story x

10/10

Author's Response: Aww, thankyou so much for the wonderful review! I plan to update sometime in the next couple of days, I hope. ^_^

I got my banner from an awesome artist at the dark arts. There are many banners and graphics up for grab that you can have personlized for your story, or you can request an artist to make one for it! It's awesome.

Thanks for all your wonderful compliments. :)

Big huggles,
Erratic


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Review #8, by grangerrox Enlighten m e n t

23rd April 2009:
i loved this chapter! it is so well written.

anywho i escpecially loved the part when natalie is talking to amelia prewitt.

and it seems as though natalie is getting more comfortable being at hogwarts (besides the seen that she had the nightmare and screamed) but after that then it seams like she is getting ust to being at hogwarts. and she was so excited about lily making her a dreamless sleep potion.

anywho i love this story and can't wait to read more so update soon!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! You are so sweet! I really appreciate you taking the time to read and review!!

Big huggles,
Erratic


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Review #9, by Inti Professor P r e w e t t

3rd April 2009:
Here again, last review from me =] Feel free to request the next two though, I liked this a lot.

You have a few spelling and grammar mistakes in this chapter, nothing major, but they are noticeable. Just getting someone to check things over is always a good idea.

I liked Professor Prewett, I think she's going to be a great character. I also liked how it let you slip in that at least James knows Gideon and Fabian.

I so agree about the losing, as if Dorcas was fine with that. As if she couldn't beat Montague after all those years of training under Auror parent. I'm completely on her side about this.

You've built up an interesting cast of characters so far, it'll be interesting to see how they all develop.

This has been a good start, it's a similar yet different Marauder story and I think you're handling it well.

Thanks for requesting!

Author's Response: Wow. You've given me a whole lot to think about, and I really appreciate everything you had to say. All your comments were completely enlightening, and I can't wait to get started on my rewriting.

Thanks again for the brilliant reviews.

Biggest huggles,
Erratic


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Review #10, by Inti The S o r t i n g

3rd April 2009:
Interesting ideas you've got here. I thought you visualised the PoA scene brilliantly, probably the best piece of writing in the story.
Your Sirius is interesting, he's blunt to the point of being obnoxious. And he's not OMG SO PRETTY which is refreshing =]
I loved the whole arguing with the hat, I'm not convinced by the deal, but the whole scene was good.
It's an interesting plot point though, that she's forced to address these fears, things could get a bit awkward for her I imagine.
Oh and before I forget, Remus/Natalie is a relief, I look forward to seeing how that pans out.
Good chapter, possibly a little bit rushed, but good I felt.

Author's Response: THANKYOU!!

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Review #11, by Inti Something D i f f e r e n t

3rd April 2009:
Hey there, here to review again.

This is by far the best chapter so far. Huge improvement. It's interesting, because you write very well, your characterisations are good BUT...there are some elements starting to develop that are very token and overdone. I'm especially worried about Playboy Sirius.
With that said though, I like the characterisations and there's a reason they're so popular.

Don't really have much else to say, I liked your Lily and genuinely enjoyed this chapter =]

Author's Response: YES! You liked it! Well, most of it.

Agh, I forgot to watch out for making Sirius too overly play-boyish. I know what you mean. I honestly can't stand it when they put him off as some self disgracing prat. I will definitely keep an eye on that.

Thank you for your wonderful review. It was positively inspirational to me, and ,as I've said before, I totally appreciate you going out of your way to read and review this fic of mine.

Thankies!
Erratic


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Review #12, by Inti B r i l l i a n c e

2nd April 2009:
Hey there, here to review again.
As with the last one, there were things I did and didn't like.
I'm really worried that this is going to turn into a Lily and friends pair up with the Maruaders story. With a transfer student thrown in. Okay, so she's a bit of a different transfer student, but the same principal applies.

Dorcas seems like a cool character though, very alive and bubbly. Hopefully this doesn't turn into a typical Marauder pairing off story, I think it has the potential to be a lot better than that. Just be careful with your descriptions not to get too list-y.

Much better chapter than the first one, on I go =]

Author's Response: I, too, LOVE Dorcas. Her character is one of the most easy to write, and I am overjoyed you liked her, too.

One of my greatest desires is to NOT make this story cliche! So I appreciate your comments.

Gosh, thanks again for all your help!
Huggles,
Erratic


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Review #13, by Inti Prologue- The B u r i a l

2nd April 2009:
Here to review, as requested . I first better just let you know, I'm not great with angst, just not really my thing, so my judgement could be clouded by that =]

Okay, I think you write well, but I do have a couple of criticisms to make. I didn't really like the way you wrote the first half of the chapter. It almost read like a list. This happened, then this happened and then this happened etc.
Then the second half just raced by. It was like bam! dead mum, bam! funeral, then end chapter.

I liked that you've made her friends with Dorcas Meadows, interesting choice. Is she related to Elphias Doge by any chance? Shall be interesting to find out =]

Onto the next chapter.

Author's Response: I definitely know what you mean. Everything almost seemed to race by too quickly.

-Sorry for that, and I thank you for pointing that out. ^__^

Thanks for taking the time to read and review! It means the world to me.

Big huggles,
Erratic


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Review #14, by Tinkerbell01 Enlighten m e n t

1st April 2009:
There are the grammer issues with mam, which is supposed to be ma'am. I feel you rushed this chapter a little bit, to get it validated. You need to work on your discriptiveness a little more. Like what people are thinking, what's around them, etc.

The Plot is good, but you just need to work on your discriptiveness [as i said] a bit more and check your spelling.

If you want me to review the next chapter, don't hesitate to request it! ;)

Alicia

Author's Response: Gosh, I knew there was something wrong with the word mam; it just didn't seem right! Thanks a ton for pointing that out.

Wow. I REALLY appreciate your help! It means the world to me.

HUGGLES!
-Erratic


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Review #15, by Tinkerbell01 Professor P r e w e t t

1st April 2009:
There were a few more grammar mistakes that I noticed whilst reading.

“Us too,” Sirius smiled, pointing at James. "There’s never a duel moment in Binn’s class." He drawled sarcastically.

It should read: “Us too,” Sirius smiled, pointing at James. "There’s never a dull moment in Binn’s class." He drawled sarcastically.

“Yes, Mam,” Natalie replied.

Mam is spelled Ma'am, not the way you spelled it.

and same goes for:“Yes, Mam,” she repeated.

It should also be Ma'am, not Mam.


Natalie shouldn't put herself down like that. I think she did wonderfully in her duel against Alexander.

I feel bad for her though when she had that dream of her mothers death! :( Nobody should ever have to dream that!

Apart from the grammer, great job! :)

Alicia

P.S. Sorry for the confusion when I was critiquing. It's just the way it showed up in my preview. :(

Author's Response: -Another fantabulous review! I definitely need a beta... Thank you so much for all of the help. I truly, deeply, appreciate it.

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Review #16, by Tinkerbell01 The S o r t i n g

1st April 2009:
I have only a couple things to point out in this chapter.

I got a little confused when Dorcas and the others were waiting to go to the Great Hall. When you said: Dorcas sat at his side, her face full of agony and tension as well.

“It’ll be alright,” he assured her, hating the strain in their group.

I think it should say: Dorcas sat at her side, her face full of agony and tension as well.

“It’ll be alright,” she assured her, hating the strain in their group.

Unless you are saying that Dorcas is talking to Remus, then I understand it now! :)

Another thing I wanted to point out is this: They will board and dine with whichever house the hat chooses just as you all do.

where you say just as you all do, I think it should be just as you all did.


Other than those mistakes, I think you did an excellent job. Yes, the chapter maybe a bit short, but your the author, make of it what you will; as long as it reaches the 500 word mark! ;)

Alicia

Author's Response: WOW This is an amazing review. I will definately go through and correct all these changes. HUGE MUNGO Thankies to you! I didn't expect you to be so thorough.

Thanks a billion for it, though!
Big huggles,
Erratic


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Review #17, by Tinkerbell01 Prologue- The B u r i a l

1st April 2009:
Hey Erratic!

I'm here. What'd you think of that prank Jay and the staffers pulled? Classic, eh? hehe

Anyway, I think the first part of the story may be a BIT rushed, but nothing that doesn't take away from it.

The only thing that got to me was this: “No one paid me anything,” he barked disgruntled. “They’re all dead, and there’s nothing you can do about it!” he yelled, outraged.
I think he should have been a bit more comforting than yelling at her. Most people tend to be comforting to others to the ones they lose, rather than yell at them. IDK, that's just my opinion.

Apart from that, I think you have an excellent start here! Your discriptiveness is really well and everything seems to go pretty smoothly! :)

Great job!

Alicia

Author's Response: Yes! When my friend came to the site, she flipped out. She wanted to go on strike and everything, but every year they pull something exceptional on April Fools. I was just dying to know what they would do this time. --Just priceless.

Wow, this was a great review. Thank you so much for taking the time to read it. I really appreciate it!


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Review #18, by Ravenclaw Chica Enlighten m e n t

28th March 2009:
Son of a whore! I require an immediate update; this story is just too good.

Author's Response: *Astounded* My gosh, thank you so much for such a lovely review! I am a bit crammed with school at the moment, but I can always fit in time to waste on this.

Thanks for reading! And I promise to update as soon as possible.

Huggles,
Erratic


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Review #19, by grangerrox Terrified

23rd February 2009:
that was completly amazing! i feel bad for natalie though a whole lot of people witness her screaming an all. what are they gonna say about it? anyway i can't wait to read what happens next! update as soon as possible!

Author's Response: Haha.. yes, the drama is on. I'm sorry I haven't updated in awhile! I will def update as soon as I can. I am stupendously busy with school at the moment, and I can't seem to find any time to write.

Thanks so much for all your wonderful reviews!


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Review #20, by grangerrox Professor P r e w e t t

23rd February 2009:
it was the best! i did find a mistake just a small one though. its on the part where she's asigning natalie that essay on non-verbal spells then is says miss meadowes i want a double parchment from you on the benifets of nonverbals? is seamed kinda wierd to me cause is tells how natalie is thinking about the essay not dorcas. anyway this is one of the best story's on hpff i have ever read and i can't wait to find out what natalie does next. 10/10 for sure(smiles)

Author's Response: Haha.. I don't know about the best! But you really have made my day. Thank you very much for the reviews. :) They were very sweet, and I love you to death for taking the time to review it. =)

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Review #21, by grangerrox B r i l l i a n c e

20th February 2009:
it gets better as it goes. i can't wait to find out what the next chapter is about. i know its posted but right now i have to go or i'll be late but i will for sure be back to read the rest of your amazing story!

Author's Response: Aww, you are so sweet! Thank you SO much for taking the time to read and review. I really appreciate it. ^__^

Hugs,
Erratic


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Review #22, by grangerrox Prologue- The B u r i a l

20th February 2009:
i liked this story and i think it would be interesting to see where it goes so i'll read the next chapter right now.

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Review #23, by Lovegood Terrified

13th February 2009:
So very interesting I can't wait for the next chapter! I normally don't like RemusOC's but I absolutely adore this one! It's quite refreshining to read RemusOC's instead of SiriusOC's! Love it!

Author's Response: Aww, thank you. You are far too kind. ^__^

I shall update A.S.A.P.

Huggles,
Erratic



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Review #24, by confusedlover B r i l l i a n c e

22nd January 2009:
very lovely.

i think that this is the makings of a fun and reasonable story. i really have not criticism to offer in your direction other than that i think that you should slow down. some of your lines sort of blend together and even though that is not a bad thing all of the time, it can be. in doing so, points get mistaken and your writing comes of in a much more unprofessional and unpromising way. it really is not too noticeable right now, but i am just making you aware of the fact that you need to watch out for things in future chapters.

overall, i thought that much of what i noted in my previous review pertains to this chapter as well. this is a nice little plot bunny and i do not think that you can improve on too much other than your flow and transition. lovely job.

Author's Response: Yay. Lovely is good. I know what you mean. I, too, can see places that were obviously rushed or could have taken more time on. Thank you for pointing that out.

Wow. Thanks again for everything. I really appreciate your opinion, and I can't wait until I have the time to continue writing. ^__^

Big huggles,
Erratic


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Review #25, by confusedlover Prologue- The B u r i a l

22nd January 2009:
very lovely.

i think that this is the start of a beautiful story. i am aware of the fact that there are other chapters that follow this, but since in only take two at a time, i must say that this is a nice little introduction to whatever you plan for this story to entail. i think that it is a playful plot and can really picture this heading into a fun direction.

i think that this idea is very interested and really have nothing bad to offer about it. every story, i believe, is unique and set apart in their own way and this one is no exception to that belief. i have read several stories where a female OC is suffering from the loss of a parent and heads to Hogwarts during the marauder era, but like each of those stories, this one is set apart and contains a different meaning and style of writing.

i find that this is quite realistic at the moment. this is only the first chapter, so getting the whole jist of this story is not technically possible, but so far i think that you have the basics of a very realistic story.

overall, i thought that this was a wonderful read. introductions are good to get across well, and i think that you did a lovely job of layering just that. nice job.

i will get to the second chapter in a bit.

Author's Response: Thank you SO much for your wonderful comments. It really means allot to hear what you have to say.

I will def put into consideration that this IS just the first chapter, and you can't tell a whole lot about a story from just that, but I'm glad you were satisfied thus far. ^__^

Thanks again for taking the time to read and review.

Big huggles,
Erratic


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