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25 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Novi Zemog Horcrux?

23rd March 2011:
AH! keep writing it's too good not to continue!

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Review #2, by mercurialxsmile Horcrux?

25th July 2009:
Many impolite words are coming out of my mouth right now, just because I can't read the next installment. It makes me sad :(

But really; I adore this story. Please, please continue.

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Review #3, by Gryf_Queen Parentage and Lucky Numbers

16th April 2008:
Awesome story so far! I love the mystery! Can't wait for you too update!! LOVE IT!!! 10/10

Author's Response: Thanks! I've hit a block, but I will probably update soon! Thanks for reviewing...
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #4, by edward_obsessed Parentage and Lucky Numbers

18th March 2008:
Yay, updates!! I love updates!! : D Well you didn't let me down, I can say that much! This chapter was just as suspenseful and intruiging as the last ones! Duncan really is extremely clever. Leaving all these clues...aw I love him! Admitedly, I did miss Remus in this chapter, but I'm excited for his reappearance in the next one. Congrats, you continue to amaze me. I'll be eagerly awaiting the next chapter!
You're a fantastic writer, have I metioned that??

Author's Response: Aw why thank you! I'm glad you like this so much! :D Yes Duncan is much more clever than anyone gives him credit for. Remus becomes very present in the story :D I will update soon, just trying to cure writer's block. Thank you for the lovely review! :D You continue to make me happy.
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #5, by lothlorien Parentage and Lucky Numbers

1st March 2008:
so who is her father? could it really be malfoy? and does lucius know about it? that would explain his behaviour. please continue soon.

Author's Response: Hhaha you won't find out for a while. Thanks for the review!
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #6, by illyria89 Parentage and Lucky Numbers

27th February 2008:
oh whats he left her??? wooop cant wait to find out!!!
update soon!

Author's Response: I will update once I finish writing chapter 7! Thanks for the review!
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #7, by illyria89 Changes

27th February 2008:
oh
“Like if someone managed to get close to him and find out his weakness, they could save so many lives.” Duncan continued excitedly.
is that were duncan is? a death eater??? oh!
i love it! 10/10!! :D:D:D

Author's Response: Maybe. I'm not telling. HOpefully the next chapters will confuse you a bit. Thanks!
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #8, by illyria89 A Trace

27th February 2008:
lmaoo i love sirius in this, hes fab! and how sweets remus?!
wooo im gonna go read the next chapter now cant wait!!!
love the story so far! 10/10!!!

Author's Response: Yes, Sirius is awesome :D Remus is a sweetie pie :D I'm glad you like it so much! Thanks for reviewing!
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #9, by Wave03 Parentage and Lucky Numbers

23rd February 2008:
O.O
Suspeense!
You're a really good writer.^-^
I'll be keeping an eye on this story...

~Wave03

Author's Response: Hahhaaha thanks! Suspense is awesome!! Glad you like it :D
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #10, by loving_sirius Gone

23rd February 2008:
Well, your story is very good, and I'm sure you get a lot of reads, but what you need is a banner. Go to find an author and look up CrimsonEmeralds, she can help you make a really nice banner. If you want to look at some of her work, look up my stories. Good luck with your story and banner!

loving_sirius

Author's Response: Thank you! Ya the person who was supposed to make my banner well... Hasn;t :( So I was going to request one today actually!
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #11, by edward_obsessed Changes

13th January 2008:
Ah! I really like this story and now you've got me on the edge of my seat, waiting for the next chapter!! I'm getting involved in the mysteries this story holds, I so want Charlotte to find more clues from Duncan! And I'd like to learn the identity of this mystery father too...aaannd I'd also like to end world hunger and war. And becoming a famous writer wouldn't hurt either. :D Alright, enough of my selfish demands. The point of this review is that I wanted to tell you how fabulous I think your story is! I absolutely adore stories where the quiet girl gets the Marauder. It's so like myself. There I am thinking of myself again. Tsk tsk. Aaaanyhoo, I think you're an amazing writer and I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Aww why thank you! Yes, there is a lot to know eh?:P Glad you like the mystery, I hope it keeps you fooled :D I would like to end owrld hunger and war too. Oh and become a famous writer! :D Thank you so much for the next review, it was lovely and makes me happy.
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #12, by Horselover328 Changes

13th January 2008:
I like the story! keep it up!
I made you a banner. If you want it, email me at
cae0328@comcast.net
and I will email you the URL. I can't leave it in a review. If you do not want it or are not using it by February 2, it will be deleted.
Hope you like it!
court

Author's Response: HI! Glad you like it! I will email you for the URL tomorrow, as it's late right now! Thanks! I'm not sure I'll use it as I'm getting like 3 made, but thanks! I'll definitely check it out!

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Review #13, by Padfooty A Trace

21st December 2007:
I'm here again! :D

Just one quick thing at the start, 3000 words per chapter is perhaps too long. For me it is ok, but there are readers that perhaps can't read so much at the time, or they have to log off in the middle of the chapter. Just a note ;)

I found it kind of funny that her favourite books was of Norse and Scandinavian runes, since I'm Norwegian. It just seems to me that Norway is that kind of far-away-country that people thinks of when they think old, so it ends up in a couple of stories I have read when they talk about old things, like for example ancient runes. I find it funny, and nice. Feelings.

There was only one thing I found with this chapter that stopped the flow a bit, and it was that you are repeating "she" as the first word in too many sentences. It just doesn't sound that good. Try to re-structure your sentences a bit, and it'll be great!

I think that you have an interesting plot, and even though I have a couple of thoughts were you are going, I can't choose one, which is good! Try to keep it as mysterious as possible, only giving a bit of information each time.

Keep up the good work, good luck further!

Yours,
Padfooty

Author's Response: Why thank you! Hehehe yes well Norse and Scandinavian runes are the main ones, and she likes runes. I've done my research :D Thank you for the CC, it's really helpful. Glad you like it! :D

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Review #14, by Padfooty Gone

21st December 2007:
So here I am!

I like the story, the plot is interesting! Even though you haven't revealed that much, I can sure think of a couple of things that may happen! Very very interesting, indeed!

So,there were some things I noticed as I read:
"or are you falling asleep in your book?” You could drop that. McGonagall only needs to ask if she needs specs, because Charlotte will understand what she is saying. McGonagall is after all the sarcastic type. Also, in your beginning, you use the word "McGonagall" a bit too much. Substitute it with other words, and it will improve the flow!
"That’s her all right." When you start this paragraph, you shift to present tense. Don't do that, because it was a bit confusing. Also, some places in the text, you have written "me" instead of "her".

So, besides those small things I always notice, I think that it is a good first chapter! Those are inparticulary hard to write, but you pulled it off good. The chapter may be a bit long, but it is really not a problem.

You write well and you language is good! Your characterisations are, of what I have seen, good, and no one are out of character. Perhaps you could put even more descriptions of feelings into Charlotte's character, and she'd be perfect!

Looking forward to read more!

Yours,
Padfooty

Author's Response: Why thank you. Yes the beginning is a bit flawed, but it's because my bff wrote it (not that there's anything wrong with that) so I was scared to change it. And I know that I use "me" sometimes:S It's the first time I've written in this tense so It's a little tough... I will definitely put more of Charlotte's feelings in! Thank you!
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #15, by free2bemai A Trace

13th December 2007:
HAHAHAHA! Suirus is the best and lupin is so sweet kk you should stop making one-shot so then you can update this story anywase update as soon as posible

Author's Response: Hahhaa thanks. I'll update soon!
Ayana BLack-Malfoy


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Review #16, by the girl who lived13 A Trace

11th December 2007:
HeeHee! Sirius is seriuosly creepy and stupit in this story! I love it! Lol
I nloved the part woith the closet it made me laugh out loud as you saw, coz I am reading this at your house right now! Lol
10/10

Author's Response: Hahaha yea Sirius is awesome. You are a creepy stalker :P Ok not. Glad you liked it. I will update as soon as possible!
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #17, by the girl who lived13 Gone

11th December 2007:
Awe, poor Charollet, I would die if everyone would be like that to me! Malfoy is so mean in this chapter, GO EVIL! Lol
Okay just kidding, evil is bad! I look forward to your next chapter!

Author's Response: Hahaha thanks Julia! Yes Malfoy is mean. And there's more to come of that... Glad you liked it!
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #18, by weasleyswizardwheezes A Trace

10th December 2007:
AH! Another evil cliffie by Ayanastar! I definetly think that Larissa is Luna's mom! Great story hun!

Author's Response: Finally Kenna! And yes most of these chapter's end in cliffies :D Heheh. And yes Larissa is Luna's mom!!! Thanks hun!

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Review #19, by Hedwig123 A Trace

3rd December 2007:
Of course, another amazing chapter! Can't wait to find out what happens.
Hedwig123

Author's Response: Why thank you Kyla! Glad you liked it! Thanks for reading!
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #20, by lothlorien A Trace

2nd December 2007:
great job. so what did duncal leave her in the bear? please continue soon.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! Haha you don't get to know until next chapter! MUAHAHA! It's actually not that exciting. MOre like confusing. I will update after I post a few more things!

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Review #21, by free2bemai Gone

22nd November 2007:
This is a really good story and chapter please update this story soon too lol

Author's Response: Hahah thanks. That's it, you're addicted now :D :P

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Review #22, by illyria89 Gone

21st November 2007:
Fab! I loved it :)
Cant wait to read more! 10/10!

Author's Response: Thank you! Chapter 2 will be up in a couple weeks at the most!
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #23, by fawkes_feathers Gone

17th November 2007:
Awesome work! I am quite intrigued already! What happened to Duncan? And Sirius is my HERO! I love him, no matter how much he messes up.

Great job! Update!

Author's Response: Aw thanks! And I hope that you won't catch on to what happened to Duncan until a while :P Yes Sirius is great... We all love him, deep down inside. Thanks for the review! I'll review once my other story gets validated
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #24, by weasleyswizardwheezes Gone

17th November 2007:
AH! It's finally updated! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! Absolutely fantastic my dear friend ayanastar!!! You got me hooked on the first word, absolutely fantastic! Loved it!!! I just didn't really understand this : "She nodded violently, still trying to wake myself up completely." Other than that, absolutely fantastic! Can't wait to keep reading! 10/10

Author's Response: Aw glad you liked it! Oh that sentence, it's because I messed up the third person tense. It's actually "still trying to wake herself up completely." Sorry about that. Third person stuff is so different than what I'm used to writing. I've kinda hit a wall at chapter 3 though...:( glad you liked it!
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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Review #25, by Lil lily71 Gone

17th November 2007:
Hey i'll make you a banner just email me at ariana_tithe@yahoo.com.au

Author's Response: Oh thank you! I'll email you right now!
Ayana Black-Malfoy


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