Sweet! It's nice to see Harry having a normal day after everything that's happened to him.
Excellent grammer and all that but I'm not to bothered about all that shizz.
10 Report Review
That was good, but simple. I liked the idea of a normal day being extraordinary! Report Review
I loved how nothing happened, I can believe it was a perfect day for Harry.
Just a few suggestions-- I don't this wizards would uses phones (Harry calls Ginny) and a bit more detail and descriptions would make this fic perfect. For example, you could describe what the bathroom looked like, what the cereal tasted like, ect. But overall, it was a short and sweet one-shot. 8/10Author's Response: I completely forgot about the whole no phone thing haha I'm dumb sometimes. Thanks for pointing that out! Maybe one day I'll go back and edit this =) Report Review
I liked this! I wasn't too sure of it until I got to the end, where I noticed the theme and why everything happened the way it did. I also think the title fits in very well, which I did not even look at until I reached the end. I think this idea was really clever and in a way really cute. It was written very well - I didn't see any grammar or spelling or any other types of mistakes. The only thing is that it might be better to add a bit more to it. Like the work day seemed a bit short, I'm sure you can come up with a few more details, even if it is a boring day. Great job on this though, I really liked it! It has a great message! Report Review
First of all fantastic theme and nice closure paragraph. It was very well done. And you put across the idea that the day had been normal very well. But I do want to ask you, was Ginny revealing to him that she was ready for a baby normal? Just a thought.
Again I want to emphasis your great ending it really brought everything together and made the reader kinda go "Oh!" In a realization. That was very well done.
As for description I think that you did a good job describing some of the essentials but there were a few pointers I wanted to give you. For instance when you say that "the cereal tasted the same as any day" the reader doesn't know what that is. So maybe you could describe the flavor? Or when Harry shivers at the thought of dementors, though readers on this site should know what that is (if they don't I don't see why they ARE on this site lol) it would add alot to this already great piece if you describe what he dislikes about it. Those were just examples though, I wasn't pointing them out is specific just using them as examples.
I do think, however, that you did a brilliant job in the developement of the story. I say this because you built up to your theme very well. You kept interjecting that the day was normal and so the reader understood the conclusion once he/she got to it and it wasn't to abrupt, it made sense.
There was one paragraph that i really liked in here:
"He looked groggily in his reflection in the mirror which told him he looked scruffy and needed a shave just as it did every morning. He rolled his eyes to the ceiling and began brushing his teeth manually; he didn’t like all those self-brushing toothbrushes everyone seemed to be buying these days. In fact, he still did everything manually including shaving. The shaver Mr. Delacour had given him those many years ago had remained untouched to this day."
I think that the reason I liked it was becuase there was such a strong voice and such great, uneeded but powerful, detail. It really added flavor to the "boring" day.
Good job on the overall writing, I did enjoy reading it. : D
Hiya ! You requested for me to review your story so here I am ! =]
Okay, I thought that this was a rather good one-shot. Your writing style is good, making this story has some potential. The descriptions were very lovely and everything was described well.
I must say, this is a very slow moving story. I know that this story takes place all in just a day but really, maybe you could edit it to make it more eventful rather than just saying Harry woke up, ate breakfast and you even described the cereal ! LOL ! The mood of the story was rather okay, and definitely, I could tell the ending by just looking at the title of this one-shot.
There were so far no grammatical errors except a few punctuation errors here and there, but nothing bad, so that's good.
Overall, a great one-shot !
P.S. Sorry this review is really short. You didn't have any grammatical errors so I didn't have to point out anything else. Normally, my reviews are very long ! Report Review
Oh, I love this! Simple, beautiful, perfect. Which is pretty much the point, isn't it? Thanks for sharing!Author's Response: Yes, that was the point I had in mind when I wrote it hehe. I'm glad that came across to you okay. Thanks for reviewing :) Report Review
i loved it. nothing too...anything. it ws sweet and simple. great job!Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
awww. H/G sweetness.
love it.Author's Response: Thanks! =) Report Review
aw. that is really, really sweet. and the type of writing suits the genre and everything.. welldoneAuthor's Response: Thanks so much! Report Review
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