i really like this story:) i like how you describe Lily as a flirt, but then you show that she isn't a total slut. Good job:) Report Review
This chapter was really really good, especially the description, like "the very person who plagued her thoughts..." I just started reading this yesterday, so i dunno how long you have been writing it. Are you going to write more? i want to know what happens! Report Review
This was really good! I'm sorry about the traumatic events in your life, but I'm glad you feel good about this chapter. I can't wait to see what happens next:) Report Review
This chapter was really good! My only complaint is that you could describe the characters actions better, like, "...she is the most amazing girl I have ever met!" Remus exclaimed with an unfamilar spark in his eye...or something like that. Good job tho, I'm going to read the rest now! Report Review
this is really sweet! I like skye, she seems like an outgoing, sweet person because of how she instantly fit in with the group. Good Job:) Report Review
I love it, thankyou! keep it coming :) Report Review
this story is being very interesting if i say so... how Lily is in a love triangle with Sirius and James (i think). when Lily made the rules with Lucius about not being in 1st name basis, i felt he was disapointed, maybe he likes her a bit? or maybe just because he's a Slytherin? Lily's dream about her and James was interesting. what's going to happen now? will u update soon please?^_^
10/10 all chapters
Harry and Ginny Report Review
I'm going to be very blunt - this is the most cliche story I've ever read, but I'm enjoying it SO much. I don't know how you managed to pull that off, but you did. Report Review
I cant wait to see Sirius' and James reactions when they hear about Lily and Lucius! :) Report Review
I like ur story
It intrigues me, so i'll keep reading
update Report Review
hey i really love your story. i love your view on Lily's personality. I think it's a great story, and I pray that you don't listen to the haters and CONTINUE writing it. Good luck.Author's Response: thank you soo much for your review!
im sorry its been so long since ive updated.
i just keep getting caught up in doing other stuff.
ive been working on the next chapter..so hopefully it wont take me to long to finish it up.
sorry for all the waiting.
thanks again for your support! =] Report Review
Omg lol. that I was not expecting. I can't believe she did that, and I'm sure there are going to be huge consequences.
I jsut wanna say you are firmly in past tense now, so that's good. This story seems to be getting very dramatic and interesting keep up the good work!Author's Response: you can say HUGE again =D
one night of lust leads to major drama.
i'm glad i finally have my tense correct, its about time...6 chapters in...
i'm glad you like it and thank you so much for all your enlightening reviews! Report Review
Well that breakup was harsh! You can have Sirisu back if he's gonna be like that lol. I wanna know why he did that and I hope we learn about it later.
Oh yeah, remember when I said I was worried about your characterisation of Lily, I htoughtit might be a little over the top, well that wwas probably to do with the summary, but I have no concerns about that anymore, you're Lily is nice and I like her.
Uh oh! Lucius is mean! I want to know hoe she's gong to get out of that one... if she is, I'm going to read the next chapter!Author's Response: aww...i know it was harsh..but dont give up on him! you'll definitely find out about it later.
im glad you like my characterization of lily =] i was really worried you wouldnt after your first review.
lucius = really bad BUT extremely hot lmao. i had to have it in there...i couldnt resist. Report Review
So sorry to sound like a tense Nazi, but this one was like all in past! I like it best in this tense but you know, consistancy helps..
Aww, I love Sirius! Can I have one! He's so cute and their relaionship is really sweet, but as you say, can it last?
I'm guessing that the party is going to be pivotal, so I'm looking forward to that.
Good chapter!Author's Response: oh yes..the party haha.
tenses = not my strong point.
sirius is definitely adorable in this chapter, i loved writing about him Report Review
I noticed in this line:
“Well Moony, would you mind walking with Skye to class so me and Lily could have a little alone time?” James asks Remus with a wink.
Judging by what happened after I think you meant to put Sirius instead of James, but I don't know.
Also, there was a lot of tense confusion again, I think you should maybe look at that and pick one for sure, not trying to sound mean or anything, just it's a bit clumsy.
I'm glad that James and Sirius are firends again, after all they are Marauders, closer than brothers and all that so I think it's good that you didn't make them stay angry at each other.
I like the relationship between Sirius and Lily, it's very cute and it's developing well I think.
Skye was unexpected, she seems alright at the moment, I'd like to learn a little more about her. But yeah, she adds a nice dynamic, cause she's new.Author's Response: yea..thats definitely a slip-up. im sorry...i usually try to proofread but sometimes i just dont...
I plan on writing more about skye later on in the story, so dont worry =] Report Review
Hello! Me again.
You have a lot of changes between the tenses, you mainly use present but occasionally you slip into past and there was complete paragraph of it in the begining.
Sirius and Lily are dationg *wolf whistle* awesome. I like that James isn't just cool with it, because I don't think that cannon James would have been so, I'm glad you factored that in.
I think you could have a little more about what Lily is feeling although I gues that is amazingly hard in present tense. Overall I think you're doing well :)Author's Response: I know I need to put more about what shes thinking/feeling in there. I'm still a beginner so I'm still a bit slack = /...I'll definitely work on it thought. Report Review
Hello! I'm here from the forums giving you your request!
Firstly, I'd like to comment on your characterisation of Lily. Now, I would never have portrayed her like this, I think it may be a tad OOC, but your the author so that's regardless, but I'll be watching out to see if it is believable, and managable. But I think it's very good of you to try a different angle, there are too many cliches around.
I love Sirius/Lily so I'm glad that ship is in this story and in the first chapter! I hope to see that progress in future, maybe more of Lily's thoughts...?
Oh there was a tense confusion at the beginning, you said smiled, instead of smiles. Present tense is insanely hard to do! Well done, other than that I think you got it!
Saying all that, I liked the start, it was cute and it was short and I think it has a lot of potential! Nice job!Author's Response: I definitely know im crap when it comes to tense. I never seem to focus on one. I'm glad you like it so far! Report Review
taht last scene with lucius.
damn. that was HOT, as paris hilton would say. ;)
+ why olivia.
you left us on a cliffhanger, or at least, basically, i want MOREEE amazing story.
more i say ;D
damn you :'(
ox.Author's Response: AHAHAHA!!! because i am evil!!!
sorry...ive been wanting to do that.
cliffies are fun, the best part is:
i know whats gonna happen and you dont =P
lol never fear, ill submit it when the queue opens again.
=] thanks for reviewing Report Review
good story so far. im glad you are showing a different side to Lily. Im guessing Malfoy told the school about what happened between them. i can't wait for an update.Author's Response: thank you! haha i dont plan on spilling any secrets *hides* my secret! *bats pathetically*
i promise ill update soon =] Report Review
Awesome chapter update soon!Author's Response: thanks! and i promise i will. Report Review
oh dear, what happened? can't wait for the next chapter! can you try to make them a little longer?Author's Response: yea...ill work on that. i know they are short its just...idk.
maybe ill just start writing what would be two chapters at a time and just putting them as one.
i havent decided yet.
ive been uber busy lately with my new job and school and my car and stuff,
so i havent had much time to write.
but i promise i will soon.
thanks for reviewing =D Report Review
Just so you know, pictures are allowed but they can't be over a certain size. it's something like 300 x 100 pixels or something like that. anyway, this is amazing! why did black break up with her though? are we going to find out?Author's Response: no, they told me that i couldnt have my pictures on there because they were personal pictures. ones that someone took of themself and put on the internet.
you'll find out eventually why they broke up,
its all gonna come out later =] Report Review
please update!! love this story.. xxAuthor's Response: thanks!
glad you like it =] Report Review
hello :) oh my gosh i was so worried for a while because your story like dissapeared from the website. did something happen? anyways i am so happy it is back and cant wait to find out what happens!!! keep up the great work and update soon please (cant handle the suspense :) haah)Author's Response: haha thanks.
yea, the site hid my story because it contained NC-17 material.
so i had to go back and change a lot of it around.
it really sucked but im just glad the story is back up.
thanks for reviewing! Report Review
love it! update soonAuthor's Response: thanks! Report Review
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