This is really good English, for it being a second language!
I really liked this story, the fact that Lilys a little bit naughty and not the goody two shoes everybody presumes or adapts in their stories.
xAuthor's Response: Thank you very much for reviewing!
I'm glad that you found this interpretation of Lily entertaining. Report Review
What a well-written, manipulative person you've made her!
10/10 for consistent character portrayal.Author's Response: Thank you very much for reading and letting me know what you thought! I'm glad that you found her characterization well-written. Your support means much to me. Report Review
Definitely a different take on Lily--Manipulative still with a dash of vulnerable. Not bad.Author's Response: Yes, I wanted to try something different. I hope you found this take on her interesting. Report Review
Well I think this story was great. I am not sure about Lily's attitude and I think the two of them being together in secret could have happened even with the 'nice' Lily.
Thinking back to high school I can remember several friends who their first time was with a really close guy friend so to me this was believable. Also would defiantly make Snape completely in love with Lily. Bravo for being brave 9/10!Author's Response: This was written just for fun, because I got annoyed with always perfect Lily. I don't even believe myself that she could have really been like this, but I think that is good to sometimes look from another viewpoint.
I'm glad that you found the story great. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Report Review
Haha, and it fits so perfectly back into canon!
Well done I really enjoyed reading this story, and reading a different side of Lily that I have not quite seen before. 10/10.Author's Response: I love staying on canon. I think that here it was very important to show that Naughty Lily could also fit books. I got a headache trying to fit everything that JKR had said in a story that I am going to post soon; however, in this story it was easy. :)
I'm very happy that you liked the story. I have got very mixed reviews from people who could not accept it and it's natural. However, I wanted to show that it is possible to perceive people differently.
I simply believe that if she was as nice as usually described she would have given Severus another chance.
Thank you for reviews! Report Review
Thats got to be a sore spot on James's heart :( aww.
This characterised Lily is still kinda wigging me out a little bit, but its very amusing. Well done!Author's Response: Yes, James is not happy with her behavior, moreover he does not know the worst of her. I think that James did not believe that she was really as bitchy as she appeared.
P.S. I reread parts of the chapter to remember how much James knew and I have to say that Lily wigged me out as well. :D Report Review
What a biatch haha! I've never read a story quite like this... Lily seems to be generally written like an avid bookworm thats totally ignorant to her beauty but this Lily... wow, she's nasty haha!Author's Response: Hi!
Thanks for looking at my stories.
I got a bit tired from the same characterization of Lily in all stories so I decided to try something new. Report Review
An interesting perspective to take on Lily.
I like how you wove it in to fit with the book, especially at the end :)
Well done! :)Author's Response: This idea that Lily could be seen from another perspective shot suddenly into my head and I decided to write it. I just somehow don't like that idea that she is so perfect.
In all the stories that I write, it is very important for me to fit with the book. It's sometimes very hard, especially with longer fics when there are so many little details that have match, but I try.
Thank you for sharing your opinion! Report Review
well... it's quite. different.Author's Response: Oh yes, it is! Report Review
ok that was a tad strange.
firstly they were doing OWLs which would mean that they were 15 which is a little young for the stuff mentioned.
and secondly there wasn't much james/lily at all. i was a little disappointed!
and also a few typos.Author's Response: Thank you for leaving a critical review.
Yes, they were 15/16, but you can't deny that a lot of teenagers in that age do things like that.
Well I'm sorry that I got you disappointed, but this really isn't about James/Lily; however, I don't think that it would be right to exclude the pairing from the description.
Well, I think I'll never get all those typos corrected. I just don't see them as English is not my first language. Report Review
Erm... i have to say this chapter was very disturbing. Lily and Snape doing that?!?!?! I'm very sorry but urgh! I can stand the kissing but going that far... well that just freaks me out a little bit. I'm still in shock. Oh well the story is good any way keep up the good work.Author's Response: I'm very pleased that I managed to creep you out! :D Well, is it really so unbelievable? I wouldn't say so.
Anyway, thank you for the review! Report Review
This is differant... in a good way of course, but the whole Lily and Snape snogging thing, it was kinda wierd cause it made me warm and fuzzy inside yet kinda creeped out at the same time... I dunno. It's so confusing the innerworkings of my mind :S but this is still very good keep up the great work! Report Review
~Sal1705Author's Response: Thank you for the reviews!
I'm not planning to write a sequel, but who knows what will happen if I'm in the right mood! :D Report Review
~Sal1705 Report Review
LoLz that reminds me of how I was when I was little, every time someone kissed I'd scream out something like 'Ew, Gross! You have cooties!'
But now when people suggest sex (I'm only 13, don't blame me) it still does seem a bit. yeah...? Hehez lets hope it goes no further than kissing!
~Sal1705 Report Review
I loved this fan fic!!! It was totally awesome!!! great job and keep up the wonderful work! 10/10Author's Response: Thank you very much! Report Review
Yes, it was a very interesting story...but it was short, I think that the sequel could be interesting. :)Author's Response: Thank you! I'm very happy that you like it. It's short, because it was planned to be a one-shot at first, so it's already longer than it sould have been.
There won't be a sequel for this, because many people can't accept such Lily. I don't know, maybe someday I could write something of this sort again, but right now I'm sticking to my serious stories. Report Review
Wait, isn't Lily a prefect? he is allowed to be out after the curfew, isn't she? Anyway, nice chapter, Lily is quite "straight away". :)Author's Response: You confused me, because you are totally right. She was a prefect in the fifth year. Still, I assume that prefects aren't allowed to wonder around the whole night and especially if it isn't their night to patrol. Report Review
Well, it's...interesting. Lily makes sense to me, but it really is out of character, I'm not sure whether it wouldn't be better if this wasn't Lily, but some random girl, your original character...Author's Response: I have noticed from reviews that people are very loyal to the original Lily, but I didn't want it to be any other girl. It has to be Lily and Snape, because of the ending. Report Review
OMG! thts so good =]
i cud never hav imagined tht!Author's Response: Thank you for the review! Report Review
short but goood. however maybe if you'd filled in the gaps a bit between chapters...it seemed a little rushed..but each individual chapter was reallyg good!!Author's Response: Thank you very much for reviews!
I don't think that I'll rewrite this story, but in the future I'll take into account that I don't have to rush things as here. Actually, I had planned this to be a one-shot so I expanded it a bit already. Report Review
that was cute... man..do those marauders ever screw things up!! Report Review
hahhaha!!that ending line was funny!!!...obviously lily is out of character, but you did a good job on her new self!!!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm very happy that I managed to make it funny. Report Review
good imagination!Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
I really don't like this story. It's shallow, in a "LIEK OMG! I'm supa sexay and seductive! I can't believe that he would DARE make out with me when I purposely wear slutty clothing! Oh, but I am 2 popular to be seen with him, it will not benefit my reputation, so I'll just manipulate him. Oh, I don't give a crap that he's been my TBFFL 4 liek, a million years, I don't care about his feelings!" way.
Your characterization of Lily is unbelievable. Even so, I think it would be fine if it were written better. The story's written in a way that is rather unintelligant, with the "Oh, I almost forgot to tell you"s and paragraphs that ramble on.
Sorry, but I don't think this story is very good. :(Author's Response: Thank you for honesty! I know that this story is not for everyone's taste. Report Review
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