Just dropping a quick review to let you know how cute this story is...and that I may be stealing it for the Staff Challenge. I'm not a James/Lily shipper so I have no love for the pairing you've chosen but you've done a fabulous job with not only the descriptions and setting but the dialogue between the two. Wonderful job *hugs*Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked this, despite the ship. And I'm honoured that you're considering using this one for the Staff Challenge. Means a lot! *hugs* Report Review
I really liked that you took it slow. I was rather surprised at first, but I liked it - it seems much more in keeping with Lily's character, especially the way you've characterized her. This was wonderful.Author's Response: I really didn\\\'t want to rush into things, especially since I feel it\\\'s pretty common when it comes to this particular couple. And I\\\'m happy you liked Lily\\\'s characterization as well ^-^ Thank you so much! Report Review
Aw :) I enjoy James/Lily but there aren't many fics out there where I actually like James or feel sorry for Lily. This is a great one, you've written Lily's changing opinions of him very well. The way you had them meet by chance under the stars, with James acting a little different than he always had and Lily noticing this, was such a great turning point to choose for their relationship. The fact that Lily agreed not to tell on him about the Invisibility Cloak was another turning point. The kiss on the cheek was so sweet and they both realized that it wouldn't be the same after tonight. Great one-shot! 10/10Author's Response: Thank you! I really enjoyed writing this piece and I tried very hard with it, aiming for as much realism as possible ^_^ Report Review
That was really beautiful, Romina. For a while, I've been leaning a little more toward Sirius/Lily but after reading this, I am back on the James/Lily path. So yeah, I am glad I read this one-shot. It made me feel light and happy and after all I have been doing these past few days, I totally needed something like this to make me feel all giddy and happy again.
Might I also say that I love your portrayal of Lily and James. Especially Lily. She is far better than how other authors portray her to be. Great job with the description too. Very very nice. Overall, I'd definitely give you a 9 :D *tackles*Author's Response: YAY, I'm glad this returned you to the J/L path *not the biggest Sirily fan...* But thank you - I liked writing this a lot because it was the first non-all-that-angsty thing I ever wrote and it makes me happy to hear that you felt giddy and happy after you read this. As for the characterization, thank you! I was a bit uncertain about it. Anyway, again, thanks for dropping by and leaving this lovely review. *glomps* Report Review
Oh my. I’ve actually intended to read one of your stories for months now, cos everyone loves them so much. And I’m totally going to read everything you’ve posted once summer calms down, cos this was awesome.
Well, “awesome” is a bit crude compared to the vivid, descriptive language you use. You set the scene so well, striking the balance between too much description and too little. And honestly, there were no grammatical snafus of any significance (an extra semicolon or two), or that’s what I think.
The stars served as a wonderful device! Maybe I don’t read enough romance, but it felt original and familiar to me all at the same time. I just really liked how they set the mood and almost served as a tertiary character.
And I simply adore your characterizations of Lily and James! Again, it isn’t quite like anything I’ve read before, but they were totally in character. And the beginning of their relationship is so sweet, and spot on, as far as I’m concerned. Too many fics have them snogging their brains out in the second paragraph *shudder*. You, however, wrote this like a realistic relationship that also remained faithful to their personalities. I think it’s difficult to pull off a believable representation of Lily’s eventual feelings for James, but I loved the pacing of that progression in this story. The theme of her giving him “a second glance…and a chance” makes the fangirl in me skip for joy.
I wish I had criticism, but I don’t. This one-shot was just wonderful to read, I’m favoriting it, and eventually I’ll get to your other stories =).Author's Response: I'm currently speechless and I'm not sure I'll do this review justice, but I will try. First of all - thank you. I'm happy you liked the characterizations of James and Lily. To tell the truth, I was a bit worried... But I aimed for realism in this, because I too, am tired of them snogging after some paragraphs into the story. I wanted this to be the very beginning of something that still had occupied her mind (I bet it'd done so for quite a while before really giving James a real chance). As for the idea with the stars - I'd just seen the movie Stardust and read the book and the thought of the stars being something more than just rocks up in the universe just appealed to me. So I wanted something (or someone? hum.) to be witnesses of the beginning of everyone's favourite love-story ^_^ Happy to hear you liked that too. Anyway, I feel I'm just rambling. But you don't know how much this means to me (seeing as I'm a big fan of yours...!) Thanks again =) Report Review
Aww! They're so cute! Good job. : )Author's Response: Thank you very much! Report Review
God, this is a good one shot. I love how you can write one shots, as it's something I'm sadly unable to do. Whenever I try to write a short story; it eventually ends up turning into a novel. I love how everything can be fit in to one short story, there being still enough detail to keep us interested.
This is a slightly different take on the Lily and James story from my point of view. She is less hostile towards him and I think you've done it really well. Everything about this is great - well done!Author's Response: Thank you very much for your kind review! Report Review
Very well done much lighter then your other romances. I love how you portrayed Lily in this - not completely hating James or annoyed with him as shown in so many other stories I have read with them. It was different and it worked very well. I don't know if this is a typo or intentional but in some sentences you have the perspective changing from "she" to "I".Author's Response: It's intentional. It's like I am telling the story, you know? So 'I' is someone else. Who it is, I can't tell you, 'cause I haven't decided who would tell their story. Oh Merlin, I'm only complicating this. Anyway: thank you! I'm very happy to hear that this was a bit more light-hearted, 'cause it was that I was trying to reach for. =) Report Review
I liked it. I thought that it was very well written and your vocabulary was excellent*gives thumbs up*. I like how you added fin at the end...I'm not sure why but I like it. Not to many authors that I've read have done that. I liked the over all plot of the story as well, I thought that it was very origional. Your dialouge was great as well. I really don't have any constructive critism for this story. Great job.Author's Response: Happy to hear that you thought the dialogue was good; I prefer writing descriptive stories actually and therefore, it was rather challenging to find their 'voices' and write dialogue. Thanks! Report Review
I loved it! I often do not find well-written Lily/James stories. You stayed with their characters and did not stray. Once again, I loved it!Author's Response: Thank you very much for this kind review! ^_^ Report Review
Great job. Very cannon and really amazing. I see no mistakes, and the formatting is easy to read. 10/10Author's Response: Happy to hear that! Thanks for this review! =) Report Review
Hi, it's me, from the forums. ^_^ Sorry, it took me long to review your story but I have been really busy. I have to say that it was awesome, so cute and made my heart melt. I really love your writing style, honestly! Wow. Aww, this pairing is so adorable, and you just made me like them even more... And I think you should write a chaptered story. Good job!
^_^Author's Response: No worries =) Glad to hear that you liked it. As for a chaptered story about the two.. I've tried it once, and that one was terrible (okay, it was my first fic, but whatever =p ) I prefer one-shots anyway. But thanks! Report Review
This was very cute. =]
I didn't find it cliche at all, it was very well written.
I liked the small flashbacks of Lily remembering James' kindness, like him helping the boy. That really added a lot to your story.
The descriptions were wonderful, and the awkwardness between Lily and James was perfect. I'm so happy they didn't start kissing, and you took it slooowly.
I only found one error: "She found it charming that Mars day." < Did you mean May? And it's at night, right?
-- Clare (VintageGrl19 on the forums)Author's Response: Thanks =) This was pretty much out of my realm, but it felt nice to write something romantic for a change and it's always nice to hear that I pulled it off. And yep, no kissing! Too early and nice to hear that you agree. No, it's supposed to be March (I never realized I'd written the Swedish spelling *slams forehead*) and yeah, it's night. I changed it already, and thanks for pointing it out. =) Report Review
Steffie, this was absolutely wonderful and brilliant, choosing to write from Lily's POV. And everything was just so poetic, and yet not overly so, if you know what I mean. I think you did well with the concept of "it's just the beginning", and OMG! I loved your ending! "A journey filled with nothing but love". This really moved my heart. :)Author's Response: Aw, thanks *blush! I've missed your reviews =p I really loved writing this story. J/L is my favourite ship and it was nice to try to work with some other characters and some other genres than angst. Thank you once again! Report Review
Very sweet. I love the awkwardness that is shown between these two. Very well done. Author's Response: Thanks very much! Report Review
I love your description at the beginning of the chapter. Your descriptions are always very elegant and well-thought out. I really like your portayal of Lily's thoughts as she's looking out into the sky. It's kind of a quiet atmosphere.
I love the whole interaction between Lily and James. Their thoughts, in my opinion, perfectly express how it really does feel to be in love yet conflicted over it. That whole scene develops very nicely. You make them three dimensional and deeper, which is essential to me liking anything Lily/James. This makes me want to read more about them as portrayed by you.
This story only has a few punctuation issues, but they were not big enough to really distract me from anything that I was reading!!! I love it!!!Author's Response: I am at loss for words, and that's why I have left off replying - either way, sorry 'bout that. It means the world to me to hear that you liked the characterization and the descriptions; after all, those are the things that I try to concentrate on the most. James and Lily is the ultimate pairing and I love writing them both (even though I struggle at some points), so there will be more to come =) Overall, thank you for this review! Report Review
1st paragraph- A young ladyAuthor's Response: Why not 'a young woman'?! =) Report Review
that was a great story! great details and everything! i truly loved it! it wasn't fluff they didn't end up so happy and kissing and stuff! so orginial and unique! great job!11Author's Response: Nope, no kissing. Too early =p Thank you for reviewing, I'm happy you liked this. Report Review
I liked it!Author's Response: Happy to hear! Thanks for the review! Report Review
Yay for fluff! This is like the first happy story I've read in ages, and it's such a cute story. James and Lily are still the ultimate cute couple. You portray them perfectly here, with James kidding around and Lily as almost, but not quite, yielding to his charms. The feeling of potential throughout this was wonderful - it's like the prologue to their romance, the "just before it happened" part. The descriptions, both of setting and the characters, was excellent, so vivid in nature. I loved the scene at the beginning with the setting sun, but the ending line was beautiful as well. The whole story is amazing, I can't think of another way to say it. Definitely another for my favourites. ^_^Author's Response: I'm quite speechless over here, but I agree: yay for fluff! =p It is indeed the prologue to their romance - I found it much easier to write than the actual story. I'm very glad to hear that they're well portrayed; I found them to be out of my league, to tell the truth. As for the descriptions; darn, I'm blushing :* But thank you, thank you. You've made my day - or month even ^^, Report Review
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