Reading Reviews for Lose Life; Gain Life
111 Reviews Found

Review #1, by jillpenguin The Writing On The Rock

4th June 2008:
I love it, but I'm confuzzled; what does the last paragraph mean??

Author's Response: I'm glad you loved it. That last paragraph was switching from Harry's POV to Ginny's. I was just testing out other POVs...I wanted to show Ginny's emotions at the time. In fact, there will probably be more from Ginny's POV for later chapters...but they'll just be shorter paragraphs for the most part.
Thanks for reviewing. :)

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Review #2, by M_And Sleep Tight

13th May 2008:
Technically, I shouldn't respond twice - I'll keep your secret if you keep mine. lol ;) Go check out your meet the author site. After I read your author's note, you got me curious. I posted reply for you there before I saw this. I tried to leave you a more detailed response to your story. If you have any comments, or questions about your story, you'll see how to get a hold of me. - M

Author's Response: Oh awesome! Have i told you yet that you rock? :P
And don't worry, i didn't tell anyone the last time you reviewed twice ;)

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Review #3, by M_And Sleep Tight

13th May 2008:
Hey there QK! Aren't you supposed to be studying! lol :) Ok, I know you said you were going to post once more (not so old the memory slipping just yet, though my son might disagree - Ha!)

I hate to do it, but I got to tell you that you may have rushed this chapter. It lacked the flow of your other chapters, and didn't quite seem to have a purpose. You know what that means - more details! Sorry kiddo, but I want to be honest with you. I think the frame work is there for this chapter, and I know you're writing a "who-done-it", and I know your calendar is full with your school stuff, but the story was hard to follow, especially coming off the last chapter which was so much more detailed.

Even in mystries you have to give enough foreshadowing and detail to lead the reader a little bit. Additionally, to add to some of the pychodrama of the genera, you need to get into the heads of your principle characters more and share their thoughts, which helps fill in those blasted troublesome details. Man their such a pain! :) (or maybe it I'm a pain - not sure yet). Hang in there QK - feel free to tell me I'm way off base. Seriously though, you know I think you're a good young writer, I'm just trying to give you honest feedback. - M

PS - If you need a study break, do me a favor and give my story a read. I would be interested in what you think of it.

Author's Response: Hey-ho back to ya'!
I know exactly what you mean about it seeming rushed, and i even predicted that was what you were going to say :P I know it's not my best chapter ever, but i was striving to finish one more (!) chapter before i let myself take a break.
And though you are correct that it could have used more detail, i don't agree that the chapter was utterly pointless. I can see why the purpose wasn't clear, though; and this relates to your comment about the psychodrama. If half of the story is a whodunit (which, lets face it, it really is), then the other half is character developement. This chapter was my attempt to do 2 things:
1) Take that one final step of getting past the grief, with Harry remembering Fred though not being overcome by said memory.
and 2) Lead the reader into a character plot that i shall cover for a few more chapters.
And don't feel bad if you think you're being hard on me because i really don't think you are :) I look forward to your honesty. I would really love it if you checked out my Meet The Author page because i truly think you could help me express the character's thoughts (one of the more distinct problems i have when trying to write Hogwarts era characters).

Thanks for the tips :)

P.S. I would love to check out your story, but i'm technically not even supposed to be on HPFF right now (sh! don't tell anyone). I'm already neglecting too much by spending my time reading/writing all this stuff. BUT, i promise (that is, if you remind me;) that i'll read you fic come mid-June :D

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Review #4, by anonymous Sleep Tight

12th May 2008:
Very good update soon! 10/10!

Author's Response: Thanks! Though, i won't be updating for a while. AS it said in my author's note, i'm going to be quite busy with school for the next month at least..:(
But, thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #5, by clearcadence Seeing All Around

5th May 2008:
Yes, it was quite a twist. It's funny how I had just commented on Harry's lack of life-risking activity in the previous chapter and here he is nearly killed right here, lol. The only thing I really have a gripe about in this chapter was Harry's reaction to his family heirloom's in the vault. Harry is usually intrigued by any and everything having to do w/ the family that he never knew. Just a thought. Otherwise, cool chapter. Didn't Ollivander live? They could've visited his shop in Diagon Alley...if he reopened after the Battle. I only thought about that because of the ice cream shop thing. Anyway, interesting...

Author's Response: Haha. I did put you all through a lot of waiting before Harry risked his life:P.
And to answer your next two questions, i'm going to be brutally honest: it didn't add to the chapter and the story much. I contemplated adding to the Gringotts part of the chapter, but that would make the chapter much longer than it needed to be (plus, i was anxious to get the readers to the Leaky Cauldron:P). I'm just going to say at this point that what we saw in Grongotts served it's purpose, while staying any longer would have just been boring (in this story, that is). About Ollivander, there is the fact that it didn't add much, but i also had no idea how to write it. I mean, how WOULD Harry talk to the guy. I don't know the exact quote, but Harry mad eit pretty clear he had always been a bit unsure of the guy;). So, i hope those are sufficient answers to your questions... :)
Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #6, by clearcadence Hogwarts Letters

5th May 2008:
Wow. Harry has got a lot on his plate for his final year at Hogwarts. I am pulled into the mystery as to whether or not this person Harry is now trying to emulate really is his father...or someone else. Since Hermione wasn't quite convinced, I'm not sure I am either. Anyway, good story. Looking forward to reading about the start of term. Poor Harry, the pressure never ends. But as of yet, he's not risking his life...

Author's Response: Though the man McGonagall talks about in the letter is a small, little mystery, it is not why the story is in the mystery genre. The real mysteries come into play in the next chapter ;). And to be honest, i didn't even think about how much pressure i was putting on Harry when i first decided to make him both the captain and head boy. I mean, i realized it as i wrote the chapter, but at first i gave him both responsiblities because it put him in perfect positions for siuations to come ;)
Thanks for reviewing again!! *hug*

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Review #7, by clearcadence Ginny's Birthday

5th May 2008:
LoL @ the author's note at the end. Anyway, that was a sweet sentiment to throw in there. I personally didn't remember which twin said the quote so I didn't think twice about it. This made Harry's gift like 10x more thoughtful. I enjoyed this chapter. :-) The very beginning was really funny. Percy is such a dork, lol.

Author's Response: oh, yay! Thank you so much for the review :) I'm overjoyed that you liked this chapter. I had a lot of fun writing it, and i hoped that it showed through. I mean, i can never really know if i'm funny unless awesome people like you review :P
so, thank you :)

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Review #8, by clearcadence Manly Talks About Love

29th April 2008:
a new broom, clearly. but the next chapter's already been written anyway. not sure what to think about Harry's involuntary spell on Ron. Also, Harry pretty much gave himself the answer to his question as far as I could tell. Not sure what the purpose of this whole interaction w/ Ron was at all. Like I said, more dialog between Harry and Ginny would be nice. I think I'll reserve the rest of my comments until I've caught up to the end.

Author's Response: Yes, a broom. And, yes, Harry gave himself the answer, but doesn't that often happen to you? All a prson really needs is someone to relay ideas off of, not necessarily give them the answer.
I don't want to give too much away, so i don't really want to gauruntee dialogue either way...
But, hey, what about those chapter lengths ahead, eh? lol
Thanks for reviewing :D

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Review #9, by clearcadence A Sort Of Normalcy...Sort Of

29th April 2008:
Why does Mrs. Weasly seem UPSET about Harry and Ginny? That should be like her dream come true, lol. I don't know if I resonate with some of the character portrayals in this story. Ron overall is more DIM, Harry more impulsive (which doesn't make sense after everything) and Hermione is missing something. Also, Ginny should be more captivating that the Daily Prophet. However, I DO like how you gave updates on some of the other characters (i.e. Lucius).

Author's Response: I'll admit Mrs. Weasley is a VERY difficult character to write because i usually try to write a character by thinking about how they would feel at the time, and Mrs. Weasley would be experiencing such a confusing range of emotions. I think she would be slightly upset about Harry/Ginny because it could ruin her daughter's education, and thus, future. I think she would be quite concerned about her children's lives going down the correct path (especially after almost losing Percy to the Ministry, Bill to a werewolf bite and then actually losing Fred :'(). Ron is portrayed as a sort of comic relief, but that's just my way for him. You will definitely see more depth, (i hope :P), but i like him as the comedian- But that's just me! Harry may seem impulsive in some aspects because that is who he is. He would continue to be impuslive about the smaller things, but not so much about larger things. I tried to convey in the story how Harry is avoiding the 'real world' over the summer and just taking the time to breathe, which isn't so impulsive IMO. Hermione, though, hasn't really been shown a lot really - only snippets in a chapter here and there. I plan for a little more from her once they reach school. Harry will definitely have reason to confide in her.
And lastly, there's Ginny. I see what you're saying there and i'll consider this during the edit :)
Thanks SO much for the constructive criticism. I'll definitely be using a lot of what you said when looking back at this chapter :D

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Review #10, by clearcadence The Writing On The Rock

28th April 2008:
This chapter made me uncomfortable. That could be a good thing. But I'm not sure. I think it was kinda awkward or something. I can't peg it. Your review messages are killing me. LoL.

Author's Response: I'm going to take this uncomfortable feeling as a good thing because i usually feel the same way when attending a funeral, but i might be reading this review the wrong way...
I can't peg it :P
But, hey, i'm glad my messages amuse you...well, at least i THINK they do...
Well, thanks for reviewing, nonetheless :D

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Review #11, by clearcadence Babysitting The Godson

28th April 2008:
I think you are overestimating the capabilities of a one-month old baby in this chapter. Even a magical one-month old. LoL. Other than that, it's cute how Harry and Teddy are bonding. I'm surprised Ginny or Hermione didn't offer to help him out though. I didn't like this one as much as the previous chapters just lacked the realism that is generally associated w/ HP stories. Just my opinion. I still think your story is good over all.

Author's Response: Yeah, the one-month old thing was a kind of stretch. BUT my excuse is that i wrote the entire chapter before it was pointed out to me that Teddy would have only been a month old at that time (he was originally a few months older). I think the beginning of the chapter is more comedic than real, but in the chapter itself i was attempting to begin the bond between Teddy and Harry, as well as heal the wound created by Remus' and Tonks' deaths.
Again, i'm going to say that a chapter edit is in the near future ;)
Thanks for another review!

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Review #12, by clearcadence "I Had To!"

28th April 2008:
Your portrayal of Ron is amusing. I like that Harry acknowledged the part about Snape. That's missing from some of the other stories I've read. Still interesting. This is like my HP Espresso of the day, lol. I found the upside to short chapters. :-)

Author's Response: um...i'm going to assume espresso is a good thing in this case ;), so thank you!
And, i'd just like to put it out there that it is not garunteed that the chapters will be staying this short because I don't even know if they'll be staying this short. (I write 'em as i picture 'em :D)
And i'm glad you thought Ron was funny. I love the guy, but i also love adding a touch of comedy.

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Review #13, by clearcadence What Happens Now?

28th April 2008:
I like the story. But I don't like that I'm on the third chapter and it feels like it could've all been in the FIRST chapter. I guess that's just my personal reading preference (long chapters). But, as for the content--it's good. That's probably the reason that I feel as I do about the chapter lengths. I can tell you are a talented writer, so it seems like you COULD write more. You're only the third fanfic author whose story I've made a commitment to finish reading. And I'm definitely starting to consider becoming a fanfic writer now. Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Oh, cool! I'm glad you feel commited to the story :), though i do warn that the plot will take a turn for the mysterious (but, of course, the same themes from these first few chapters should continue throughout the story).
And thank you SO much for saying i'm a talented writer :D I think it'd be awesome if you started writing oyur own fics!!!

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Review #14, by clearcadence words of Sense

28th April 2008:
Still has my interest. But the chapters are very short. I don't really get the chance to "settle in" to reading them. Or rather, just when I do...they're over. LoL. Interesting though. I like the insights given and the exploration of Harry (and Neville's) feelings about everything that happened. Good job.

Author's Response: Thanks for revieiwng again :)
I hope that you'll feel better with later chapters because they get increasingly longer (for the most part) as they go on. I'm happy that you think i portrayed the boys' emotions well :)

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Review #15, by clearcadence Putting Things Right

28th April 2008:
I recently read a really excellent post-battle fanfic novel on here, and I'm currently searching for another that captures me as much as it did. Granted, I think it would be really hard to top the other story. So far, yours is the first that I've read since where I'm even finishing the first chapter (much less reading beyond it). I guess this is my way of saying, so far so good. Just rather short.

Author's Response: oh, awesome! Thanks so much! I know the first few chapters are a little short, but i'm definitely going to go back and edit them sometime soon :)
Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #16, by Marc Seeing All Around

28th April 2008:
For the walkway to collapse at that specific point in time seems to be to much of a coincidence. It seems Harry has another fight on his hands.

Author's Response: Yes, it IS quite a coincidence ;)
And another fight? Well, that sounds exciting! :P
I appreciate the comments. I don't know if you realize how fun this is for me.

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Review #17, by Marc Seeing All Around

27th April 2008:
Good Chapter. A little bit of a cliff hanger, good. Is harry correct in his thought that it wasn't an accident? As always, next chapter soon please.

Author's Response: Haha, yes a cliffhanger. It was bound to happen sooner or later!
That is a good question...IS harry correct? Well, Ron doesn't exactly agree witht the thought, does he?
Do YOU think Harry is correct?
So to answer your question: i'm not answering your question :P
The next chapter will be put up ASAP, but i'll be taking a break from the story for a while after it (see review/reply below)
But, hey. Thanks for reading my story...and then REVIEWING it!

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Review #18, by M_And Seeing All Around

26th April 2008:
I glad you like my reviews. Your the second person this week to tell me that. Must be saying things right. Seriously though, I come from the school of thought that critisms and critiques should be constructive. They should be positive yet offer some insight as to how a writer is doing.

Now if I could translate good review writing into my story and get over this bout of writers block I'd be thrilled!

No problem on the break. School is important. May not seem like it now, but down the road I guarantee it is. Also I'm happy to hear your going to revise some of your earlier chapters. They are good, but I think your growth as a writer will make them better. I look forward to seeing what you do with them. Good luck on your projects and exams!

Author's Response: haha:P Now, if only good reviewing paid off! You'd be set!

And yes, school IS important. Trust me when i say that i realise that. What i mean by getting behind in my work is that i only got a 93% on my last History test after getting an 85% on the unit questions and it saddens me deeply :P Though, i do have about 5 major projects due this month and i need to get crackin'. So, thanks for understanding ;)

oh, geez, now i'm a little bit nervous about the revisions of the chapters. There's pressure now! Oh my! (lol). But, seriously, i think any improvement should be positive. What can i say? I'm a glass-half-full kind of person!
Thanks for the luck!

p.s. Hope you can get over that writer's block. I usually jot down random thoughts and see what sprouts from them :D

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Review #19, by M_And Seeing All Around

26th April 2008:
Great job on this chapter. You've added alot more detail to your description of your scenes, which I think really enhances your story. I also like the subtle way you are setting up your mystery, which I presume is what the falling balcony was all about.

Not sure where you were going with Ginny, but that could be a result of a continuing story line, so I may just need to be patient there. One other thing you will need to correct. In the begining of the story you describe Ginny's eyes as being hazel, when they are in fact brown (although the young lady who portrays her in the movies does in fact have blue eyes). Later you describe her and Hermione's eyes as being earth toned, so you've got inconsistant statements going. Small detail, and easily correctable.

I really like how the story is flowing, and you're doing an amazing job with it. Keep it going QK! - M

Author's Response: Yay. You reviewed again! I so love your reviews (i just thought i would tell you that) :)
I'm so pleased that you noticed the detail. I think i mentioned it in another review that i went back and rewrote this chapter to give it some more detail. And yes, i am setting up a mystery. Hence the theme of mystery is the story summary :P
Ooooh...and what IS going on with Ginny? How curious... ;)

And thanks for catching another mistake. Just to let you know (i was going to announce this in my next A/N, but whatever), after the next chapter is posted i will be taking a break from the story for 2 main reasons:
1) I want to go back and edit/rewrite some chapters (especially the first few)because i feel my writing has improved since i posted them and the first few chapters are very important to grab a reader's attention.
2) The month of May is major project time. I've been getting behind with all of various year-end projects and i need to stop being distracted by my fanfiction :P

Thanks for all of your helpful advice thus far and i'm overjoyed that this story (seems to) intrigue you.

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Review #20, by Kelpie Hogwarts Letters

21st April 2008:
I really liked how you wrote Ron's reaction, it was like the Goblet of Fire all over again. You've got everyone's personalities down pat, though i think Harry could be brought to life a little more. Anyways, great chappie!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review :) I've been trying very hard with the personalities, so it's awesome that you think i've got them 'down pat'. I know what you're saying about Harry (that he's sort of 2-D?), but i'm just curious as to what makes him seem that way... I would love to hear more from you so that i can improve. Have you checked out my MTA page?
Well, anyways, thanks SO much for reviewing. :D

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Review #21, by M_And Hogwarts Letters

14th April 2008:
The banner looks good, but I confess that those kinds of things aren't my forte, so I'm probably not the best one to ask.

This was definitely your best chapter. You did a wonderful job handling Ron's insecurities. He's always been a distant third to Harry and Hermione in the "Golden Trio", or at least he percieves himself that way. They're actually very well balanced in terms of their particular strengths. Harry's a leader, powerful. Hermione is the thinker. Ron is the planner, the strategizer. If any one part had been missing for long they would have failed. You did a very good job portraying that. Nicely done. Hey what do you know, I'm all caught up.

I look forward to your next post. I took a couple of days off from writing my story (I just posted my newest chapter, to bad it'll be next weekend before it's up) so that's why I had so much time to read yours. Now it's time to put my nose to the grindstone and crank out another chapter. That, and I gotta go to bed cause I have to go to work in the morning. Yikes! Oh by the way, the virtual cake was really good!:) - M

Author's Response: *huge grin* Thank you! At the end of the day, my goal is to not shred Ms. Rowling's wonderful work to pieces:P I'm just really glad that you think i've done the golden trio justice.
And i'm rather proud of myself that you're now caught up. hehe...i have control over your emotions!!! *evil laughter*
Alright, serious again.
Like i mentioned in my last post, the next chapter will be up a little later than expected because i'm trying really hard to add to the detail. I reread it and realized that the ending of the chapter kind of just flopped. So, when i'm done working on it, i hope you like it!
P.S. Of course you liked the cake! I am a rather talented virtual cake baker, if i do say so myself. :P

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Review #22, by M_And Ginny's Birthday

13th April 2008:
Ok, I was pretty darn close on the broom call. I did say a Firebolt of whatever the latest model was. I could have cheated and looked ahead since the answer was already out there, but nooo, I'm an honest chap who played it straight up. Ok, I'll be serious now (sort of). Good chapter. I loved the inscription on the handle. That was spot on! Well done!

In all seriousness, I really can see a nice progression in your writing from that first chapter. As you've be come more comfortable with the story the level of the writing has gone up. For someone your age (for I now know you to be quite young), you write with a great deal of maturity (much like another author on HPFF - mira maurader. Both of you amaze me with your depth, and maturity in your writing). You have a gift and I hope you continue to develop it.

I suggested ways to increase amount of detail in a scene, and adding layers of complexity to your writing. I would like to suggest three books by two authors. The first author is Terry Brooks, he's had countless books on the NY Times Best Seller List. Check out or buy "Sometimes the Magic Works". It's an autobiography, but it mostly focuses on how he goes about writing stories. Also check out or buy "The Elfstones of Shannara". I think it is by far his best work, and it is truly a wonderful read. He does a superb job with setting scenery and background. The second author is Dan Brown. My personal favorite is Angels & Demons, but anyone of his for books is a great read. With both these authors, pay attention to how they use their setting and background narration to set mood and tone. They create a whole knew level of intensity besides just what the characters are saying. Just a suggestion if your serious about this writing gig. See you next chapter. - M

Author's Response: Oh my! I'm nearly in tears! The fact that you think i have a gift is just! There's no other word for how i feel. Thank you SO much.
And thanks for the book suggestions. My mom has been pushing me to read Dan Brown for years now. After i'm done with the series i'm reading now, i just might steal her copy of Angels & Demons ;)
I'm trying really hard on chapter 11. I even pulled it from the validation line because i felt i could improve it.
Thanks for the kindly worded advice!

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Review #23, by M_And Manly Talks About Love

13th April 2008:
No offense, but you'd have to be pretty thick to not come up with... A new broom. And not just any broom but a Firebolt (Latest model of course). Now about my winnings... Hmm I can't get mention in the next chapter's author's notes because, well, you've already written them. You already owe me a virtual German Chocolate cake. I've already said I'd have to trade the virtual hug from you for real ones from my family. And bragging rights... hmm... I think I'm getting the short end of the wand on this one.

OK, onto the review. Funny stuff! I loved the jibe about Ginny's broom sucking more than Ron on Lavendar's face. That was good stuff.

PS - meant to say this last chapter to your response about "What no advice?". I'm going to have read this story mostly in one night, so I figured there was no sense in beating a dead hippogriff. I still see a general pattern in improvement (with occasional back sliding), but over all this is an entertaining read. But if it makes you happy - "stumped ness" should be one word - "stumpedness". But since you made it up anyway, feel free to disregard this comment. :) -M

Author's Response: do have a point about getting the short end of the wand. Well, i think the pride you feel for getting the correct answer (for the most part) should be prize enough :P You know, the pride of a job well done!? So, ask your wife or son to give you a pat on the back for me!

PS- 1)I hope you realiized that the 'What? No advice?' was playful banter, right? (haha).
2) I'm okay with the general back sliding as long as, all together, i am improving. In about a year, i'm hoping to gain this giant improvement due to my gr.12 writing course...but, if everything goes smoothly, this story should be finished by then:)
3) Yes, stumpedness SHOULD be one word, but i was getting angry at my word processor, for it would constantly seperate the word without my doing. So, in the end, i just let it be...
Thanks for reading my story! And reviewing! :)
(by the way, you're the second guy i've met on HPFF. Geez, there really is a large gender difference!) ;P

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Review #24, by M_And A Sort Of Normalcy...Sort Of

13th April 2008:
You realize of course that Ginny was arguing about not wanting to be a 7th year because of Harry, and then you have her rushing into his arms in front of her mother right after she's getting the riot act for kissing him. If I'm Ginny's parent at that point, I make her go all the way back to third year. Oh, I know you already know this but I would have caught the owl thing too if the other chap hadn't. - M

PS - 1) I hope you know the "stop yelling stuff was playful banter,right?
2) for my virtual cake - I'd like German Chocolate with butter pecan frosting (There's really nothing better! :)
3) I'll forego the 1000 virtual hugs and collect from my wife and son. Real beats virtual anyday.
Take care - M

Author's Response: hahaha very funny:P I think i realized the 'stop yelling' was banter...but it is hard to convey my own sarcastic 'sorry' without my well'known sarcastic tone...
And yes, you may have German Chocolate with butter pecan frosting ;) Hope you enjoy! (and you go tell your wife to give you a thousand hugs for me!)

About the thing with Ginny. Of course she is a little bit fickle! She's still 16! Us teenage girls do have the tendency to act without thinking... :P
And though Molly is trying to remain stern, i would think that she understands this. She loves Harry and knows that Ginny's love for him will not hurt her...but Molly is not about to give up her little girl just yet. We all know that Molly is quite willing to fight for what she thinks is best for her daughter.
Does that make sense?

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Review #25, by M_And The Writing On The Rock

12th April 2008:
Well as a bloke whose been happily married 21 years, I don't know that the box is talking to me in a sexy raspy vioice, - but it is better than yelling. ;) I really liked this chapter. The speach by George was fantastic! Well done!

Question - On the tombstone you have Fred's middle intial as "S." I also have a tombstone inscription in my story. I looked and looked for full names of the twins, and the only thing I found was the middle name of Joseph for Fred. I'm curious where you got "S." (just in case I need to edit it in my newest chapter). Good job on this chapter. - M

Author's Response: Hi again!
About the middle initial: I really just made it up, to be honest!:P I searched the internet for quite a while and did not find a middle name for Fred, so i made one for him. I'm sorry! I'm just going to go on pretending that his middle name is Steve (or, more believably, Samuel).
Oh, and i'm really sorry about the yelling! I'm a rather...intimidating person sometimes (Hey! What am i to do? I'm a Leo!;)) I didn't think i was yelling when i wrote it....
Thanks for another review! I'm definitely going to be thinking of the advice you've been giving me throughout the past couple of chapters when i write the next chapter of the story. :)

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