just read it today 8/6/2012 enjoyed it added you to favorite list write more stories!!! Report Review
In this review I'd like to thank you for sharing a wonderful story with the world. And what a wonderful ending. I think you should expand on this and do a sequel. Full marks once again and thanks again.Author's Response: I may have to think about that sequel. Thanks so much for the kind reviews! I really appreciate you taking your time to share your thoughts with me! Report Review
Fantastic and to coin a favourite phrase of Ron's, BLOODY BRILLIANT. 100/100 and to move to the epilogue.Author's Response: Haha, thanks! Report Review
I'm just wondering that I think Harry will have a near heart attack when he finds out about all this. 10/10.Author's Response: Hahah you might be right. Report Review
Wow now things will really start to heat up. Another great, great chapter. And 10/10.Author's Response: Thank you so much for all the great reviews! Report Review
I wonder how Vernon will react if he could suddenly do magic? Another brilliant chapter and 10/10.Author's Response: I can see the look on his face when he finds out, and it still makes me smile... Report Review
What can I say but another brilliant chapter. Pity about Langford I rather liked him. 10/10.Author's Response: Langford was my favorite part of the entire story. He is named for a great old man I visited for years in a nursing home. Report Review
I knew there was something about Dudley. The fact that he could suddenly read the book shows he's special. Another excellent chapter and 10/10. Report Review
Love is in the air I think. And also I have a funny feeling that there is something special about the church. Another great chapter and 10/10.Author's Response: Thanks for the kind review! I am excited to see what you think of the whole story! Report Review
I have a funny feeling that Dudley maybe the next worthy possesser of the Ax. Another 10/10.Author's Response: No comment on that... Read on... :) Report Review
I bet that'll surprise Hanna? I like this new look Dudley that you've created. A great chapter and another 10/10. Report Review
Excellent, sheer excellence. This is truly a fantastic chapter. Did you do any research into that history or dd you make it up? Another 10/10 and I must move on.Author's Response: Thanks again. I did a little of the research. I took an incident from history (and a real place) that I was learning about in college (I am a history major), and incorporated it into my story. Report Review
A nice start to your story. I loved the bit at the end with the ghosts playing headless hockey. 10/10 and to move on.Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
Wow, this was a great chapter. Honestly I don't recall if JKR has written anything other then the 7 books, especially a complete Hogwarts a History. However, they story of why Goodmanham is so important was wonderfly constructed. I'm excited to see Dudley's character changing, and am intrigued to see where it goes!Author's Response: Thanks again! I'm thrilled that you're a fan. Goodmanham is a real place, and a lot of the story is technically based on fact. The destruction of the temple part, at least, was real, and the history I quoted I learned in a Medieval England to 1215 course. Thanks for taking the time to read and especially to comment! Report Review
I'm excited to keep reading. It's nice to finally put an ending to the Dursely's story :)Author's Response: Well thank you! I'm glad you seem to like it so far! Report Review
I had just read the chapter and thought the same thing - what happened to him, this was AMAZING - it was so vivid and a great read, I couldn't stop reading!
I rate this 20/10 - 10 extra points for awesomenessAuthor's Response: Well thanks Kas, I really appreciate the feedback! 10 extra points is extra appreciated! I'm glad that you liked it! Report Review
An excellent story which I enjoyed a lot. Obviously it is not strictly 'canon' as Jo Rowling is on record as saying no Dursley ever had magical powers, but as an AU story it is very good.
The research on Saxon history is good and the idea of how the split between muggle and magical society started from that time is interesting. There are a few distracting 'Americanism's that jar a bit, e.g we Brits do not have such things as a yellow school bus, but except for those it is generally well written and well plotted.Author's Response: Thank you for the kind words. Yes, as a Yank who has never been to GB, its tough to know exactly what would make sense over there. Thank you for the kind words, and for leaving a comment! Report Review
Very good.A few spelling mistakes but nothing major. One question or maybe two. 1)Who is Brevisar in relation to Salazar Slytherin? 2)What is the name of Dudley's wizard ancestor?Author's Response: Brevisar is of no relation to Slytherin. He is more of a forerunner. As for Dudley's ancestor, it is a paternal ancestor (so on his FATHER'S side, but this unnamed person was just to provide a plot twist, making Vernon a wizard by default).
Thank you for reading, and for commenting! Report Review
thr r nt many stories with dudley as the main character bt u started well frm the point whr jkr left and built a good storyAuthor's Response: Thank you deep. I love it when readers comment on my work. Thanks for the note, and hope you check out my other story, still a work in progress... Report Review
First, I think your portrayal of Vernon and Petunia in this chapter was spot on.
Dudley's monologue was fascinating. I liked the details -- for example, his description of Mrs. Figg making him answer questions. The monologue cemented my sense of Dudley in his determination to change.
I liked the insight about the relationship between Vernon and Petunia.
He also was quite impressed with the new vocabulary . . . some sort of joke about someone's backside. -- This was a great look at Dudley's inner life.
I thought the historical material was extremely interesting. One purist note: your English rendering of St. Bede's work left out a word. Historia ecclesiastica gentis Anglorum = Ecclesiastical History of the English People.
Overall, very interesting chapter that really develops your main character nicely.Author's Response: Thanks so much for coming back Bella! I love that you called the way I write Dudley as a monologue! To be honest, it wasn't intentional...
I am also thrilled that you like how I wrote Vernon and Petunia! Finally, I think I left out Ecclesiastical because I was going by notes from my history course, and I must have forgotten to write that down. Yes, I did base the background of my fic on a history course I took in college...
Thanks for the great review!!! Report Review
Hi, Gords. I wanted to participate in the Story Club, so here I am.
I thought this was a very fine set-up. Poor Dudley disappears from sight after the beginning of DH; and we never do find out how the Dementor encounter changed his Outlook on Life, or what happened to him afterwards. I love stories that fill in these gaps, and I think you do a fine job. (I read ahead before I came back to write this.)
I think Dudley turning into a bright boy, after all, makes a lot of sense. After all, there must be some inherited intelligence there. Lily was very smart, Harry's pretty smart, and Dudley's got a lot of the same genes.
The notion of them going into the "Wizard Protection Program" gave me a chuckle. So much of the canon wizarding world parallels and satirizes our Muggle institutions, so having the Dursleys go into hiding -- just like a trio of witnesses against the mob in government protection -- fit right in. All the way down to Vernon's new career.
Looking forward to more.Author's Response: Hey, welcome to the story! Thanks so much for writing a review! I'm really glad that you like the story so far, and that you enjoy some of the magical muggle aspects...
I'm also really glad that you buy the Dudley being smart line...
Thanks so much for the review, and hope that you like the rest of the story!!! Report Review
The part with Dudley bringing the parents into the teaching really struck a chord with me. I think this is just the sort of thing that a good Muggle studies prof would do.
I must admit that I wonder what the Sorting Hat would say aobut this new Dudley...
I like the changes that occurred throughout the story with Dudley and his relationship with Hannah. Poor Neville...denied Hannah (just kidding).
I also liked that you had him learning to brew potions, as that's something that I don't think the ax would be too helpful with.
A very interesting and fun read overall. My main CC would be to work on presenting the characters emotions to us by showing us their reactions rather than just telling us that their upset, sad, etc. But, this comes with just writing and practicing.
Thank you for an enjoyable story.Author's Response: Hey, you made it to the end! Thanks so much for reading!!!
I'm glad that you liked Dudley as a teacher. I always felt that with muggleborn students, the parents never really get invited to that world, so I thought a parents day and fieldtrips would be a cool way to change the relations. Because, to be honest, I think the wizarding young would love to go to an amusement park, they'd just maybe need to rent it out for a day so no one would wonder why these weirdly dressed people with sticks were running around...
And yes, poor Neville... I guess in my mind, she was destined to always end up with Luna, so I went in this direction...
I'm also glad that you liked Dudley having to learn potions. I just think that he'd need a rudimentary knowledge to get around.
In response to the CC, you're exactly right. I hope that I've been doing this in my new story, so maybe if you check that out you can see some growth in my writing!
I really appreciate the help, and thanks for the amazing reviews!
-Gords Report Review
At several points near the end of this chapter, you misspell Hermione as "Hermoine". I find that extremely distracting.
I do like her reaction to Dudley and Hannah finding the ax, and I'm not at all surpised that she would know about it.
I also really like the dialogue bit with Dudley saying that Vernon is vanishing plates accidently and going bonkers.
I think I would be interested to see this part through Vernon's eyes.
I enjoyed this story quite a bit and it's inspired me to go back and work on my Dudley story some more (I've been stalled for a while now).Author's Response: I know, I always have a tough time with Hermione for some reason. I'm really glad to see you liked how she reacts to the Ax, and love that you like Vernon going nuts...
Poor Mrs. Dursley, her sister, her nephew, her son, and her husband... I can totally see little Tunie getting depressed...
I'm thrilled that you want to write some more with Dudley now! The more Dudley fics, the better!!! Report Review
Mortimer (ha-ha--Mort-imer, nice root word usage), telling Dudley that he had to reflect on his past life is parallel to Harry trying to get Voldy-baby to feel remorse at the end of DH. Was this intentional?
The theme of redemption and change starts to show through here as he has changed enough to find the ax.
Nice work.Author's Response: I'm glad you caught the use of Mortimer! You're the first one!
I didn't even come up with the Voldemort connection...
Thanks for noting his change, and the great complements! Report Review
I'm back, but I might only be able to do one review tonight.
Okay so a few things. First, I know that I have addressed it before, and I hate to sound redundant, but thought it might help.
When you do your dialogue I notice that you make it more of a narrative, and when you do your narratives they coud really use some dialogue. I hope that makes sense. There just doesn't seem to be break from Dialogue to narrative, there is no give and take, just explinations.
Also there is a part where you say 'Hannah was outside knocking and looking irritated.' I was just wondering how Dudley knew that she looked irritated before he answered the door. Most of this story has been in third person limited, so it is a bit weird for it to suddenly change to omniscient.
Last is the kiss... it happened so suddenly (not that there is anything wrong with that) but there was no lead in, she suddenly just kissed him and there was no detail as to what kind of a kiss it was. At first I thought maybe she had just pecked him on the cheek, but then they came up for air... I don't think that you are trying to make a huge romance here or anything, so I am sure you don't need hari grasping and bodice ripping, but a little sense of how Dudley felt when they kissed... little details like that really would help to personalize the romantic scenes.
Now I am dont with the crit part (again I really do not want you to think all I have is crit) I enjoyed the flashes of light and the direction I feel you are taking the ax part of this story. You have obviously put a lot of thought into the magical bits and the history of it all.
I just want you to be able to showcase off by making this the best story you can. I hope that this helps... I know you said your newer fic is better, and I hope to read that sometime as well.Author's Response: Thanks for both the CC and the kind words. I do need to rework this story soon. I think I may try to bribe/beg a good beta to take all these comments and help make it a lot better.
Still, thanks for the help!! Report Review
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