Reading Reviews for Watching From The Outside
  
24 Reviews Found

Review #1, by _Kai Rhianne_ My secret?

16th July 2009:
Wow this story is really good. Just a question? Was he telling this to his mum? He kept saying you and dad? I found that really interesting and unique. I liked how you managed to slip in all these scenes from the books without altering the facts and it's really believable. Well done. xx

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Review #2, by Samhria My secret?

11th May 2008:
Aw.that is so adorably sweet!!! :D Way to write!

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Review #3, by dancer My secret?

15th January 2008:
courage, pathos, love it all described Neville, the boy/man who wad always there but never had his just rewardsd. It's a beautiful story.

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Review #4, by muggrrl My secret?

23rd December 2007:
thats great. wow. lovely. neville and hermione... lovely.
i realy like how you tied in actual parts of the HP story- it made it realistic.

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Review #5, by AuburnFair My secret?

14th December 2007:
Aw, this is so precious. And sad...poor Neville!
Your writing is fantastic, I love the last line. Perfect Place to leave it off! I love this unique ship too, I've never thought of that. Keep it up! 10/10

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Review #6, by lily_evans_is_my_hero My secret?

4th December 2007:
Oh. My. God. Well, guess what Neville? I am head-over-heels madly in love with you! Way to hurt a girls feelings. God.Anywhooo, I LOVED IT! It made me HATE Harry and Ron for taking Hermione away from Neville!ARGH! STUPID HARRY AND RON!AH! I LOVED IT SO MUCH! Great GREAT GREAT JOB!

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Review #7, by Kristina1990 My secret?

2nd December 2007:
My gosh, this is such fluff. *lol* So damn cute... Well written as well. I haven't even thought about Neville that way. In the end he is such a minor character that he is so easy to forget about.
Great one-shot!

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Review #8, by lava lue My secret?

2nd December 2007:
Great! You really capture Neville's personality, especially when he first gets to Hogwars. Kudos. ;)

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Review #9, by Emilyinlove My secret?

1st December 2007:
Love it. Absolutely love it. And it makes sense.

10/10

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Review #10, by harrypotterhugefanforever My secret?

10th November 2007:
I am so sorry for the long wait for your review. it was a crazy week.

I was like in tears :'( it was so sad. i'm not going to read the second chapter for a while, but i will add this to my favs, okay. Keep this story going ^_^

9/10, some words missing in the sentences

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Review #11, by thegirllikeme My secret?

1st November 2007:
Oh, this is quite cute. I'm not a Neville/Hermione shipper (I much prefer Neville/Ginny) but this was quite nice. It was written very nicely, tying everything together well. Everything made sense and slipped into canon with perfection. However, I would have liked there to be more action, instead of just a place into thoughts. You could have done this by him sitting by the fire, coming from a long day of work, just to set it in a proper time. A little scene having talk about something, action, something would have been nice, just to establish a plot. I think a lot more people would have been more interested. But still, I liked the story and it's good. I'll probably keep reading it. So good job, and keep going. (love your banner, btw. It was what got me into the story)

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Review #12, by LaSorelli My secret?

29th October 2007:
AW!
This is wonderful. It's well written, bittersweet, and you manage to portray an often forgotten character quite well.
I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: THANKS, second chapter is validated. I hope you take the time to review. You made my day, I really do love Neville.

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Review #13, by Labby My secret?

22nd October 2007:
Awww! That's the main feeling I get after reading this. I've never read a Hermione/Neville ship before and I think it's pretty cute. And you certainly made it realistic - I love how it's from Neville's POV. And I definitely think you wrote Neville well. The only criticism I have is that there are a couple of grammatical mistakes, but that's really it, and it's not enough to ruin the story or anything. Besides that, I really like it, so great job!

Author's Response: You've never read this ship before? Neither have I. But I always wanted to do something really different. I love Neville, he's my favorite character from the books, he's adorable. Everyone loves and underdog. Thank you so much for reviewing !

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Review #14, by Girldetective85 My secret?

21st October 2007:
Awww poor Neville! You write him as such a sympathetic character, and I really can't help feeling sad for him. "She was always with Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley and I was always with ... Trevor." That sentence pretty much sums it up! Poor guy. How nice of him to lie that he wanted to go to the Yule Ball with Ginny, just so Hermione would be able to go with Victor Krum. That's love! And it seems so like Neville to do something like that too. Hey, I remember you, I think I read a thread on the forums posted about some help with that sentence: "For two years I’ve been getting therapy now with Professor Yuolda from the Ministry of Magic. Slicing off a giant snake’s head, I can talk about, being tortured till I wanted to die, I can talk about, talking about her, I couldn’t do it. I haven’t told a soul about any of this." It sounds great! Awesome job. :)

Author's Response: Everyone loves an underdog. Haha. I thought I was stretching it a little bit too far about him lying to Hermione but at the end ... I hoped it sounded alright. Thank you for taking time to review and THANKSAGAIN.

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Review #15, by WannabeWriter My secret?

19th October 2007:
This is such a great story. I've never read a story where Neville was in love with Hermione, and this just broke my heart. You really made me as a reader believe it! It's fantastic!

Author's Response: I had so much fun writing it. I hope you stick around to read the second chapter. Neville's in love with Hermione, I thought it might be a rare pairing. But I just found out that Neville's going to be marrying Hannah Abbot and I'm over the moon. Because Neville's my favorite characacter but I'm glad you liked it.

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Review #16, by TokyoGal11 My secret?

19th October 2007:
Wow... interesting pairing.

I must say that I have never read a Neville/Hermione, and this story begs the question why. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. I'm a mainly Romione shipper, so that's a huge compliment.

Umm... just a couple grammatical errors... your sentences run-on. It kind of makes sense, considering Neville's personality, but I think if he was feeling pained when he was talking about it, he would be a little more clipped (although his descriptions of Hermione are perfect, detailed but still within the non-annoying range, which is actually a real accomplishment). Other than that, it was great.

Overall Grade:E

Author's Response: I hope this review dosen't get cut off like the one at the bottom. I had heaps on that one but I didn't copy it or anything. THANKS .. it's mainly a one-sided crush but I'm all squeeinyourface that you gave me a compliment. I want my BETA, srsly. Thank you for reading my fic.

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Review #17, by Enchantlize My secret?

18th October 2007:
Awww.This is good. I like the way you did not say Neville and Hermione's name in the chapter but included their character style to inform the reader about them. This is a great introduction chapter about how Neville felt and what had happened, its great, I love it!

First Silver Slipper!

Great work, keep it up! 9/10.

Author's Response: FIRST SILVER SLIPPER? DUDE, GAWD.

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Review #18, by DragonGoddess My secret?

18th October 2007:
Touche.

That was fabulous! I followed your link from the forums, (InsanityRulz there). Very touching story. There are couple-a things that don't tie up, like the third year thing, that they'd fought...or maybe I should just brush up the books! Anyways. :D I liked it very much :)

Especially these:

"I used to think that it was so big because it was full of information."

"I remember crying ... for her to come back, telling her that I’d already used up 5 cauldrons without her in Potions to help him."

Though the second quote's ending should be help me? Yep. That's about it and oh, a buggie in the last line which must read "But it was right then..." itz than in your fic.

Well written dear! I enjoyed reading it!!

Author's Response: Yeah, I had no idea what to squeeze out of the third book so I kinda made it up. Hehe, it didn't turn out that effective but I wanted to kind of show that Neville and Hermione were very close. I love that first quote. It was at first, 'full of secrets' but I didn't think Hermione had many secrets. I know, it should be me. I'm waiting for it to get edited. Hopefully my BETA would get back at me ASAP or sometime soon. Thank you, I hope you stick around for the next chapter.

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Review #19, by GrungGranger My secret?

17th October 2007:
It was very well written and an enjoyable read. You are a good writer and story teller. I enjoyed it. Whether or not you continue is completely up to you. Do you have more to tell? I think I wish you hadn’t jumped ahead at the end but maybe by then you had full filled your need to tell this story.
Thanks for this
Grung


Author's Response: THANKS. I've never been told I'm a story teller. I think I'm going to continue it. But I think I can just leave it there, with Neville expressing his feelings or what-not but I was hoping to write a full on story. I just wish I had an OC. I love OCs. But I wanted to try an all canon ship. Yannoe? Sorry for the end, I just got jumbled up. I had no idea how to end the last couple of years. All my fault, I should have done more research. I'm glad you took time to review. Thank you very much.

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Review #20, by greylady_Ravenclaw My secret?

17th October 2007:
Good job. The story flowed well and didn't really jump from one scene to the next.

"I remember crying ... for her to come back, telling her that I’d already used up 5 cauldrons without her in Potions to help him."

Shouldn't him be me since you wrote it in first person? That was the only thing I saw that needed to be changed. Good Story. 9/10

Author's Response: Ohh, WOOPS! Thanks for pointing that out. I hope you enjoyed the story. Thanks, for reviewing. I appreciate it.

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Review #21, by chiQs09 My secret?

17th October 2007:
LOL, first to say, I didn't read who your main pairing was and I didn't notice who on your fabulous banner were, I just started reading (for a surprising-effect)^_^. I thought you were using an OC, Hermione had met during her first year...but when reading towards the end, it was Neville. LOL I should've known it when you wrote he was asking Ginny out to the Yule Ball, and when he got so affected when the spider was tortured. The surprise to myself was successful, that is why I love the last sentence so much. And he loves Hermione? Aww. This is a wonderful first chapter. I have nothing to critique, only to praise you with such a wonderful work. You should continue writing this. I love it so far, my first Neville/Hermione eversince, and I loved it at once.

Great Job.
chiQs09^_^

Author's Response: NEVILLE. Especially the slicing the giant snake's head off part. LOL. I know, it's a bit if a fluffball AWW story. But I'm going to try and make it work. Thank you, I really thought I should've made htis a prologue or something. THANKTHANKTHANKYOU for taking time to review. I will get to updating as soon as my BETA feels up to it [take your time] Glad you liked it.

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Review #22, by faerieall My secret?

15th October 2007:
I'm a huge N/G shipper, but this was really beautiful. Good Guys finish last. Poor Nev.

It flows pretty good, I have to applaud you for writing a rare pair. (My rare pairs are Bella/Remus & Charlie/Tonks, so yea)

You capture unrequited love better than alot of people. Just really good overall.


Author's Response: Aww, schucks. You made me smile all happily and stuff. But thank you for taking time to write a review. It seems way unnatural to me at the moment but I just wanted to have one Canon ship cause I had so much OCs before. But, I'm really glad you thought it was good. I'll update soon.

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Review #23, by Hermionesclass101 My secret?

15th October 2007:
Wow. This is really good. I'm adding you to my favourites, update soon! It's written well and it gives a good perspective of Hermione. I'm guessing that he's telling the story to his mom, and that is really sweet. The descriptions are wonderful, and the idea is original. I love it!

“Always hanging out with that filthy mudblood, your pathetic.” - your should be you're

in side - this should be one word.

I.was.mortified - You forgot to capitalize. It should be I. Was. Mortified.

That always won me one of her smiles, though, I really did mean it. - this sentence was a little hard to understand. I think it's because of the extra comma after though. Or you could try "That always won me one of her smiles, even though I really did mean it,"

Great job! 10/10!

~Hermionesclass


Author's Response: I hope this review dosen't get cut off. If it does, I'll cry. Anyway, thank you so very much for taking time to review. You made me very happy. XDD And I'll go fix that up right away. I'm just waiting on my Beta because I just got one. But I'm so glad you like it. THANKS

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Review #24, by hosu My secret?

15th October 2007:
wow,
makes me look at Neville at a new light :)
good story!

Author's Response: FIRST REVIEW.

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