Reading Reviews for Innocence
  
31 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Quidditchandhorses We Might as Well be Strangers

5th September 2009:
About your question at the end - I think if you gave a little more supporting evidence (for lack of a better term) to the relationship, then I could definitely believe it to be a typical 16 year old crush, on Tonk's part. It was a little creepy in the beginning with Lupin (which is good), but the action kind of died off after there, and there's still that uneven balance of dialogue and action to work on. On the plus side, you have a wonderful imagination, and I do like the ideas that you've generated.

 Report Review

Review #2, by Quidditchandhorses Night Drive

5th September 2009:
This chapter held a little too much dialogue and not enough descriptive action for my taste. However, having said that, I did think it was good dialogue, and very necessary. I was definitely not expecting Trelawney, that much is certain. So she's Sybil, eh? Interesting...

 Report Review

Review #3, by Quidditchandhorses Together

5th September 2009:
You definitely played off of the emotion better in this piece. I like the way you are incorporating the songs into the piece - kind of like a songfic, but with action to accompany it. Very nice. Hmm...last name? No idea, probably way off the mark but...Potter. Why not? :)

 Report Review

Review #4, by Quidditchandhorses Pieces of Me

5th September 2009:
Well, I like the idea of someone else finding Harry and Lily and James, but I just don't think you played off the emotion of the scene that should be there. If you add some more descriptors, maybe slow down the action a bit, you could definitely achieve that.

 Report Review

Review #5, by Caitlin Night Drive

26th April 2008:
One main problem I had with this chapter: it kept switching from one thing to another and it was a little choppy for my liking. I think if you lengthened parts and gave a little more detail...it would be better.

Author's Response: thanks for reviewing and offering your advice caitlin! talk to you on AIM!

 Report Review

Review #6, by luvinpadfoot We Might as Well be Strangers

7th February 2008:
Hehe... Just Tonks in the relationship. Yeah, I have nothing to say, sooo... Great job! Review soon! 11/10.

Author's Response: thanks dearie!!! luvin the reviews!!

 Report Review

Review #7, by luvinpadfoot Night Drive

7th February 2008:
I WAS RIGHT! HA! TAKE THAT! AND I DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AHEAD. Yeah I know I changed it, but what ever. I still got it right. The old friend is Marie, right? Ok, 10/10

Author's Response: great job, you got it!!! thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #8, by luvinpadfoot Together

7th February 2008:
I think her Mom's name was... McGonagall. I have no idea, but I wanted to guess. No wait, McG was with Dumbledore that night. Darn! Second guess: Trelawney. Ok, I bet that was the dumbest guess you got. Oh well, sucks for me. No Trelawney made the prophecy. I feel so dumb. Uhh... Sprout. Yeah I give up. Off to read now!

Author's Response: Wow, you're only the second person to get this right!! good job. thanks for the sweet review!!

 Report Review

Review #9, by luvinpadfoot Pieces of Me

7th February 2008:
Ok, yeah, scratch the part about a sequel in my last review. Didn't realize there already was one. So, sorry about that. Love it so far. Sad but amazing! 10/10

Author's Response: thanks so much!!

 Report Review

Review #10, by butterfliesneedwings We Might as Well be Strangers

7th February 2008:
You brought out Tonks' personality expertly! How come Veritaserum doesn't work on Sirius? I didn't think that was possible.

Author's Response: crap, a question I don't have an answer to... umm, maybe it's just one of those things, you know, that no one ever figures out. thanks for the compliment!

 Report Review

Review #11, by butterfliesneedwings Night Drive

7th February 2008:
(grumbles) guess i was wrong in the previous review. So is Delilah the one who gave the prophecy? Or for that matter is she pretending to be Sybil? I didn't really pick up on that. I'm off to read Hey there Delilah. "(I've heard that song countless times) don't you just lvoe it!

Author's Response: No, Delilah didn't make the prophecy, she just has like a sort of sixth type sense. Not visions or anything, just feelings when something bad will happen. thanks for all the awesome reviews.

 Report Review

Review #12, by butterfliesneedwings Together

7th February 2008:
I was wondering about the cloak. Honestly I have no clue who it is umm do i still win if i cheat and look at the next chapter? (looks hopeful) fine i won't But I'll take a wild shot and say umm what should i say(looks at the computer for an answer) It can't be Potter. but i can't think of any other name that would be significant to the death eaters so that will have to be my answer.
P.S. I saw your answer to my review on another of your stories and you're right I didn't catch that it was the next generation. And if you went to look then my story "It's too late to Apologize" isn't up yet(blushes) but should be soon.
10/10
Don't you just love reviews! mY stories literally thrive on them.

Author's Response: I love reviews so much! It's the only way I'll become a better writer! Sorry, it's not Potter. No cheating!!! Thanks for reviewing.

 Report Review

Review #13, by butterfliesneedwings Pieces of Me

7th February 2008:
man i hate it when Lily and James die. A friend of mine has a story in which they are killed but I've asked her over and over why they couldn't live! She just smiled at me and wouldn't say anything! I'll have her read your story. her penname is Lilyjames.

Author's Response: thanks for reviewing! I hate it too, but I think I need it. thats so nice of you.

 Report Review

Review #14, by OvergrownEden9 Pieces of Me

6th February 2008:
Pretty good :) You have great music taste, and I love the banner. Oh, AND I love Sirius ^_^ Haha.

Author's Response: Sirius is so amazing. *swoon* Yea, the banner is so great! Hugs to the person who made that one. Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #15, by OmiXitsXJaime We Might as Well be Strangers

25th November 2007:
I love the story so far, I couldn't see any major mistakes as I read this great story though. You must tell me when its updated!! =]
10

Author's Response: wow, you are way too nice to me! i'll pm you when it's updated! thanks for reviewing

 Report Review

Review #16, by OmiXitsXJaime Pieces of Me

25th November 2007:
Very good beginning, I love both of those songs. One thing though, when you wrote James's, that was wrong. Its supposed to be James'. Thats it though, nothing else I could see =D
10
~Jaime

Author's Response: hey, thanks for reviewing. thanks for pointing out the error, i'll have to fix that.
-jess-


 Report Review

Review #17, by evil little devil We Might as Well be Strangers

28th October 2007:
Yeah, it wasn't the best chapter, it was a bit too rushed and could have had more detail and explanation in between. I like the last bit, For the first time in a long time, I had no nightmares. I fell asleep immediately, and dreamed nothing. Maybe it was because I was trying to do something for Sirius. It is a good ending to the chapter. Keep up the good work and update soon.

Author's Response: thanks so much, my most faithful reviewer!!!! i have a tiny problem with rushing things... the last bit is my favorite part so far...

 Report Review

Review #18, by Steph We Might as Well be Strangers

28th October 2007:
yay stands in back waving an I love Remus/Tonks banner. Great story please update soon. 10/10

Author's Response: thanks so much for the sweet review!!

 Report Review

Review #19, by Girldetective85 We Might as Well be Strangers

27th October 2007:
Yay I'm the first review for this chapter! This is a good story so far, I'm liking the developments a lot. So it was Remus, an old crush hmm? Keep up the great work! It would be interesting to see them visit Sirius and get the truth out of him.

Author's Response: hmm, i just looked over the next chapter and it may require a rewrite... i hope not! thanks for the awesome reviews!!! i worship people who take the time to review!!

 Report Review

Review #20, by Girldetective85 Night Drive

27th October 2007:
WOW i didn't see that coming, she's a Trelawney huh?? Very nice! I haven't seen anything prophetic come out of her yet, but maybe that's coming hmm? I like that Ginny and Luna met as children, that could explain why Ginny is so friendly to her later on at school. Nice!

Author's Response: if you didn't see anything prophetic yet, see the first line of the first chapter. the ginny and luna thing hit me like a train out of nowhere... thanks so much!!!

 Report Review

Review #21, by Girldetective85 Together

27th October 2007:
Oh wow, great cliffhanger! Okay I might be too late for this challenge but I'm going to guess that her mother's maiden name was POTTER. Haha bad guess I know. Okay I like this chapter, and the song slipping in fitted much better than it did in the first. I like Delilah going to visit Sirius, and it's very understandable that she'd change her name and feel betrayed by him, but you can still see she loves him. Nice work

Author's Response: sorry, not the right answer!!! that wasn't that horrible of a guess actually. i never thought of some of the things people (okay, like two people have guessed...) guessed. thanks for the nice uplifting review!!!

 Report Review

Review #22, by Girldetective85 Pieces of Me

27th October 2007:
This was a very exciting beginning! I like that you write from the point of view of Sirius and Delilah (his wife?) as the first ones to see what happened to the Potters and their baby. The only constructive thing I would add is that the song seems a little out of place. I mean, Sirius's best friends have just died and he starts strumming a guitar. Pretty song though. I like this beginning! :)

Author's Response: thanks for the review! yes, delilah is his wife. that is explained more in Hey There Delilah and Endless Summer. I guess he was trying to cheer her up some, make her think of happier times. i'm surprised no one has asked how she can tell something's wrong...

 Report Review

Review #23, by evil little devil Night Drive

23rd October 2007:
Trelawny. Didn't see that coming, and Luna's mum's her friend. Not as good as some of your other chapters, but it's still pretty good, hope you update soon.

Author's Response: aww, you're too kind! i now pronounce you my most faithful reviewer! *hands evil little devil cyber ribbon* go you! thanks for reviewing and reading ALL of my stuff! new chap soon, i hope.

 Report Review

Review #24, by evil little devil Together

23rd October 2007:
Hehe cliff hanger, I like them! I was wondering how Sirius knew she changed her name if her was in prison? This chapter seemed to flow a lot better than the first one. Is it a Death Eater, Lestrange, or is it Tonks? Hmm, guess I'll have to read the next chapter to find out. How about Malfoy, Pettigrew, Riddle, Nott?

Author's Response: as to how sirius knew, hmm, didn't think that out... let's just say that, umm... bellatrix told him when she was brought into azkaban! there we go, that's my story and i'm sticking to it! good guesses, but no. thanks for all the reviews!!!
-jess-


 Report Review

Review #25, by evil little devil Pieces of Me

23rd October 2007:
Until I read your AN I was going to ask if it was a follow on from Endless Summer, now I don't need to. I think it was a bit rushed but the scenes where she was yelling and angry I thought were good. For some reason I also like, Lilah, I think it's cute.

Author's Response: yea, i rush things to much. this was written in August, often late at night, so yea... Lilah, i just needed a shorter name for him to call her. can you think of any others?

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>