this seems like it's going places.
update soon. Report Review
hope you write more of this soon!
took me a while to figure out who was marrying Draco and i thought it was Ginny.. then i realized it was Hermione haha.
10/10 Report Review
really really short. i wish it was a bit longer--- i like long stuff, more room to explain. really cute soo far. i love how sirius was the one to save her!!!Author's Response: Ik now! I was so upset it turned out so short, I as planning on it being longer lol, nxt chapter will be I promise.... Report Review
Hi! hmmm... what could you add?... it seems alright as it is, maybe you could write a bit about how the boys end up near the lake and why Sirius turned into a dog in order to save her. Author's Response: Oh well.
thanks. Report Review
Hello, I would like to say I really enjoy this story and I hope you continue with it, U=I am patientlly waiting for chapter two.
I loved the whole "I like dogs" Line. It made me laugh.
Keep up the good work.
10/10Author's Response: Thanks I am glad you enjoyed it.
Chapter two will be up soon-ish. Report Review
it's "quidditch" by the way. and cute story =]. i like it.Author's Response: Bahaha/
I messed that one up lol/
I will fix it lol.
thanks. Report Review
"Areas of Concern: It is really short- but i really wanted to end the chapter where I did, so if you see anything I can add before the last bit then I would love if you could let me know!"
Hmm, you were right, that does seem an appropriate last line, but it is kind of short, isn't it? At first I thought that perhaps you could show the Maauders coming over and helping Lily take Em to the hospital wing, then I realised that it was written in first person, so that may not work, unless you wanted to switch point-of-view for a bit, which could really alter the flow of the story, so perhaps that isn't such a good idea. I'll think about it a little more maybe and tell you if I come up with anything.
Other than that, the story seems to flow quite well, the charactors seem fairly believable, I loved the "Hey Padfoot you should know," line, that was quite funny how James had to sort of redeem himself. I also thought the werewolf book was clever, I didn't actually pick up on it until the second read though, which shows how carefully I read the first time! lol.
Anyway, I think this has the potential to be a really good story, keep up the good work! I'll add it as a favourite so I can see when the next chapter is up, I'm excited to see how this turns out!
Luv Queen AkilahAuthor's Response: I was concidering changeing point of views- but it really wouldnt work seeing as I know where i want to go with it,, lol. But I would love it if you would let me know if anything comes up lol. And I would also love to thank you for your review! :D ... and the werewolf book was my friends idea I was laughing so hard when she said it saying it was stupid- then I added it in lol.
okay now that I have babbled on- thanks so much!
Very good and interesting. It is a little short as you told me but it does give you a base of what you need to know. Your description of the storm was very good. Although you did spell Quidditch wrong. It was a very clever idea to have the "dog" pull Emma (I'm guessing thats her name you only said Em and Emmie) out of the water. You could have also had Emma ask why Sirius was wet because Lily and Emma obviously didn't know that the dog was Sirius. Good work.Author's Response: thanks for the feed back, it really helped.
:D Report Review
I really like the story so far! I can't wait to see where you go with it so post more soon!Author's Response: Thanks Im glad you liked it,
and I will =D Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection