Reading Reviews for The Beatrice Collection
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dracosdetour trains, floors and corridors

21st November 2007:

I really like it. You are doing a great job at writing this!

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Review #2, by Clare Roy trains, floors and corridors

19th November 2007:
I like your story! Bea is a bit too mature for her age, but I think she has a very distinct voice. The short chapter seemed to fit your fic well.
I love the last bit: "Please don't let him be a mute." =]
Oh, and you have a beautiful banner!

Author's Response: i can see what you mean about her being too mature. i have a problem writing the younger years mainly because i've passed them. i guess i'm anticipating her adult years.
anyways, thanks for the review! ^^

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Review #3, by windchaser A warning gone unnoticed

24th October 2007:
keep going!

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Review #4, by Acciomates trains, floors and corridors

14th October 2007:
my name is beatrice as well!

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Review #5, by nana_banana_xx3 trains, floors and corridors

6th October 2007:
I really like this idea so far. You've got a clear writing style (something I'm always very glad of when I take a look at a chapter), and I quite like it. You've got several spelling/grammar errors here and there, but those can be easily fixed. Also, Lily introduces herself as Lily Potter rather than Lily Evans. That's something you would definitely want to think about editing.

As I said, you're writing style is pretty clear and flows nicely. I really like it. For those little mistakes, I would suggest a beta reader. They would easily catch those small things that you as the writer might miss. I'm going to make a possibly incorrect assumption and say that you're an American. I am as well, but these characters aren't. Unless Bea is from the states, you should be very careful to use Britishisms such as "mum" instead of "mom". A minor detail when it really comes down to it, but I know it really bothers some people. :)

All in all, a very lovely beginning to what I'm sure will be an excellent story! Nice job. :) 8/10


Author's Response: hey, this is kind of late but i wanted to say thank you for the critique. it really did help me and I'm glad that you like the story. (I'm also relieved to read real paragraphs instead one one sentence paragraphs).

i'd love it if you could critique again, sometime. ^^

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