Hey, that was awesome. I think that you really got into Petunia's jealous mind frame, and I liked james being all confused. Good job :)Author's Response: Thank you I'm glad you liked it. Report Review
I see the status is completed. Please, I beg of you, make another story!Author's Response: Thanks, I will try to write another one soon, I'm just a little bit busy. But once things clear up, I'm on it! :) Report Review
I just wanted to add that I don't think you need to elaborate or proofread; I want you to come out with a new chapter! I can see how it would be hard to think of more stuff to happen, though. But I would enjoy it, even if it was a completly different story. I should check if you write any other stories. I'll review those, if they exist.Author's Response: Thanks so much! I will probably not add a chapter to this one because I want to keep it a one-shot, but I will definitely try to write another story. Report Review
Yo! That was a nice story. Very original. It was a little strange, though, when Petunia said her own eyes were like sinking holes. What? And I get the impression after this ordeal Petunia would dump Vernon. Read BEAN!Author's Response: Ok you already told me that, but I enjoy reading feedback, and it was just my first story so I will try to work on it, Thanks! Report Review
Yo! That was a nice story. Very original. It was a little strange, though, when Petunia said her own eyes were like sinking holes. What? And I get the impression after this ordeal Petunia would dump Vernon. Read BEAN!Author's Response: I don't really understand because Petunia is putting herself in reference to Lily. Thanks for the review, and I hope you enjoyed the rest of the story. Report Review
oww that so sweet. i really like your story. poor petunia. god i would hate to be her lol.
10/10Author's Response: Me too! Thanks for the review I a glad you liked the story. Report Review
omg thats as so good! i luv hearing peoples inner thought! Great job!!=]]Author's Response: Thanks, I wanted to take a shot at Petunia and how she felt towards Lily. I am glad you enjoyed it, thanks for the review. Report Review
Nice story, though I'm not sure I will read it if Petunia is going to steal James!
That would just be too sad!Author's Response: Oh don't worry she won't! Thanks for the review I hope you enjoyed it! Report Review
It was good but it would have been nice to see a little more of what Petunia recognized as love. A bit more detail.Author's Response: Thanks for the review and since this is my first story it is a little vague, but I still hope you enjoyed it. Report Review
I enjoyed reading this story very much! :) Though it had a few flaws. Firstly the minor spelling, punctuation and grammar mistakes that could be easily fixed with a bit more proofreading or a beta. Also, this idea was so great that i was immediately intrigued to read what Petunia has to say about James and his love for Lily. You could've expanded it a bit more, though, like add more description, not just fly over things hastily, because then the emotion is kind of lost. Take your time and dwelve on some things a little more. I know this story was centering around Petunia, but as Lily was in the story as well, a better characterization would be appropriate. Petunia was horrible to Lily, so I think Lily wouldn't be all happy-go-lucky when they meet. Some animosity would be coming from her side as well, but I agree with the fact that Lily was a loving person and always was nicer to Petunia than Petunia to her. The last thing I didn't get was the meeting in the grocery shop. I doubt James would so randomly go into a grocery shop and it didn't blend in with the rest of the story. It would be so perfect and intriguing if, for instance, Petunia was attracted to him. They would meet, James would be his friendly, nice self, and Petunia would somehow...like him and hope she'll meet him again, because in comparision to Vernon he's...well, you know :D You siad that even, much more everything positive. And then meeting him at home as Lily's boyfriend -- that would be a blow. Otherwise it comes off as unnecessary.
So I don't criticize too much (sorry if I do, it's all well-meant cc), Here's what I liked: Petunia's relationship toward Lily was very in character. There was the jealousy, the bitterness, everything well done. And when she compared the love she recieved from Vernon and the one Lily was experiencing with James, my heart ached for her, because at that moment I felt as though in her place, which is wonderful if a writer is capable of this -- making the reader feel the emotions. 'That’s when I knew that their love was like a falling star, beautiful, magical and everlasting.' That was a beautiful line, honestly. So the beginning was a little shaky, but the ending was definitely worth the read. Very good job, you have potential. After all, this is a pretty unique idea and they're rare, so keep writing! =DAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review I enjoyed reading your comments and I am glad you enjoyed the end of the story. I will try to work on the things you commented, thanks for your feedback. Report Review
i liked this.
it sort of gave you an insight into what petunia was going through. and showed her as a person, not some frumpy girl that was extremely rude and bratty.
it showed why she hated lily. howshe felt that she couldnt compare and such.
it was lovely.
good work!Author's Response: thanks so much, I really wanted to look at petunia and her feelings toward Lily. I enjoyed the review and hope you enjoyed the story. Report Review
Wow. Fantastic. Brilliant. Sweet. Cute. Loving. Your story was all of these things. Great job buddy your a great author!Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading the story. I hope you enjoyed it and I really appreciate your review. You are a great author also and i can't wait for the update of parenthood!!!!!! Report Review
she's finally realized what Love really is.Author's Response: yes she has, I hope you enjoyed the story and thanks for the review. Report Review
Aww . . . I feel sorry for Petunia!
It's a good story. The story is well written for fanfiction, and I could follow it easily. Some parts are a little vague and seem to go by too fast, but overall it was great. Wonderful first chapter! Author's Response: Thanks, I will try to make the next one a little longer and go into a little more detail. I hope you enjoyed the story and will read again. Report Review
i enjoyed that.. but could do with some more added
get more up soon :D
Annie ~Author's Response: Don't worry I will, Thanks for the review and I am glad you enjoyed the story! Report Review
Very good debut. It was brilliant; a very good attempt at writing Petunia. I only saw two things wrong with this story. James wouldn't have been so polite about the cart in the grocery store. And there was a grammer error in the beginning, where Lily was asking if James could come over for dinner, there should've been a coma after the word Mom.
But other than that, it was an enjoyable, quick read.Author's Response: that's so much for the response since it is my first story I am still working on making everything grammatically correct. But thanks again and I hope you enjoyed the story! Report Review
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