Hey! Iím here to spread the love for HPFFSAD!
Awww, I feel so sorry for Oliver right now ): Iíve never seen/read him this unhappy before and Quidditch is his life, right? If this wasnít such a good start to a story, I would hunt you down and wake a beaters bat at your head but then you wouldnít continue writing, I wouldnít know where this fic is leading and then more than one person would be unhappy. I guess I have to let you live then - sigh - :P
Okay, what I was trying to say was that I really like this chapter and Iím definitely going to read on :D
Antje Report Review
Well... This was beautifully written...
But that was MEAN! You know how I feel about this ¬¨_¬¨... You made me cry *sniff*... Feeling guilty yet?
Well, it does explain alot. I can't wait to see how you develop this, it will be interesting... I do like the detail. But you already know that.
Awesome chapter, even if it was MEAN! xD xxAuthor's Response: sometimes it amazes me how different people can think about the exact same story. :) it had to happen, jemma, otherwise there would be no plot. I'm sorry. This is going to be a very sad, angsty, dark story, so... Oliver can't very well end up as the hero of the day, you know. I'm glad you still liked it though! :) Report Review
Lisa, this is brilliant!
The beginning is heartbreaking. I love the detail you have added the whole way through.
I was silently cheering at the end when Christopher said that Oliver was going to play. I was SO happy for him! I like where this story is going. I wonder what is going to happen at the Quiddich match...
This is an amazing Chapter, I can't wait for the next chapter ;) xAuthor's Response: i wrote this thing in an hour and i am actually very happy with the way it turned out. but unfortunately i could not be as happy for him as you are, for reasons in chapter three. :P *is not giving anything away here* i'm glad you liked it, thank you so so so much for the review! *hugs* Report Review
Brilliant start! I really like your writing. Your sentences flow well, and your descriptions are to the point. I've seen a lot of fanfic writers who get lost in long flowery descriptions of everything, and that can really distract me from the story. You're very good at describing the things the reader needs to know and setting the right mood without getting carried away.
For a bit of CC on your style, I'd say you could have fewer and longer paragraphs. But this is a detail.
I had a depression once, and I have to say that I recognise some of Oliver's thoughts and behaviour-patterns. Especially a certain inability to think positively (or at all) about the future is typical. So if that's what you're going for, well (and very realistically) done!
I obviously can't say much about what I think of your plot just yet, but the scenario you've set up has definetly caught my interest. 7/10 for a good, solid first two chapters. I can't wait to read more!Author's Response: wow, thank you! actually i only realized after the chapter was written that the behavior is typical for depressions. so go me! :) i think i am a little obsessed with paragraphs and i am very happy you like my sentences, because lots of people have told me they're kinda hard to understand. which i believe, since english is my second language and therefore i do make mistakes.
i used to do no description at all in my first stories and somebody was like: describe something! a chair! the sky! anything! and now i think description is my strongest skill when it comes to writing, i'm glad you liked it!
and yes, i am definitely going to keep oliver in the depressed kind of direction (oh, if you could see chapter 3, it's almost done!)
thank you so much for this wonderful review and for the rating!! Report Review
okay I really like it now! good job!Author's Response: and i really like YOU know! thanks for the review!! Report Review
it's really good! I want to read more now! you might want to change that last line though, unless you meant it to be that wayAuthor's Response: actually, i did mean it that way. :) thanks for the review, i'm glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
Wow, this chapter was throughly detailed and amazing. I look forward to reading more!Author's Response: :) Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed this! a
And more is definitely on the way! Report Review
Aww!! That was so sad! You just want to tell Oliver to keep his chin up... please Lisa make him happy!! This was beautifully written! You have made Oliver your own here and I will definately be watching this... Well done Fliss Fliss!! :D xxxAuthor's Response: well... the point of the story kinda is to have him be sad and break and then rebuild his personality. so.... he will be sad for quite a while yet. :) thanks so much for you review, Jemma, it means the world to me! *hugs* Report Review
I love it so far, just possibly a bit more romance?Author's Response: haha, well, this is drama/angst, I doubt there will be all that much romance. maybe a tiny bit in the end. It's my OOYR, so I'm kinda trying to stay away from coupling people. I'm glad you still liked it! thanks a lot for the review!! :) Report Review
Interesting start- this is a very promising beginning!
:)Author's Response: yes, that's what i thought too. but i guess it might be helpful if i had a plot :P thanks for the review! Report Review
That is, so sad. And I love Oliver so reading made me want to go, "Aww! Cheer up little guy!" But anyway, I love your take on it - Oliver after Hogwarts. I hate that there's only one chapter though. I'd love to read the rest of it if HPFF ever lets you update, lol.Author's Response: oh, i'm a trusted author, so i'll update whenever i get to it. :) yes, there is only one chapter but that's because i only started writing this yesterday. I'm very glad you enjoyed it! thanks for the review!! Report Review
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