So Iím finally caught up Ė yay, and itís a beautiful chapter image again :í)
I liked the scene with Minerva and Alastor a lot. Even though she becomes head of Gryffindor and ends up fighting against Voldemort, it made sense that she wouldnít want to go and fight in the war. Even though her brotherís death hasnít been the main focus of the story, whenever itís touched upon she still closes up and shows that she hasnít fully recovered from it.
I liked how you made Moody philosophical in this chapter, it suited his character. Even though he appears to be a gruff man on the outside, he must have a lot of intelligence to be such a successful Auror. I liked that he could understand Minervaís decision and didnít have a go at her for not fighting, as some would expect him to do. It echoes the softness of his and Tonksí relationship and shows that he does have a heart and he can understand each personís decision.
Riddleís characters beginning to change in a worrying with other peopleís observations about him. I suppose the mention of the Restricted Section may be a hint that heís begun his research into horcruxes. I canít remember the exact time he killed his father and grandparents but it would make sense for him to be starting around now.
I view Ravenclaw as possibly the least united house at all of them due to the rivalry as to who can excel most, but I think it was right to show them as a united force in the face of Myrtleís death. That was reflected when the third year girls were clamouring to tell Grimm what had happened. Admittedly, I may have forgotten that Myrtle comes back as a ghost, and just assumed she was dead, even though sheís one of my favourite ghosts in Hogwarts. I suppose itís because in her ghostly form she has more confidence due to others, possibly, viewing her with fear.
I liked the subtle hints in this chapter about the basilisk and the chamber of secrets; it showed how easily rumours can be dismissed, and how easily Hagrid became the scapegoat for it all. It would be interesting to see McGonagallís perspective during the CoS considering she was there for the last reopening and experienced someone she knew die.
I can understand Myrtleís reaction and her refusal to talk to other people. I think Grimm needs to view it from her perspective, as I doubt most people anticipate turning into a ghost once theyíve died. Minerva seemed to understand the dilemma a little more than Grimm, but then she tends to be more composed in situations like these so itís not surprising she acted in that way.
That last section was really great. I liked the brief scene with Hagrid, as I have been wondering how heís been coping with all of this. Iím dreading the scene when Riddle blames him and Hagrid gets thrown out of the castle, as heís probably one of the most genuine characters and doesnít intentionally cause harm.
I thought I recognised that line from Dumbledore, and it really fits with the chapter title and how everything is finally coming together, and it is the endgame for Hagrid and possibly for Minerva and Grimm depending on what Grimm decides to do. I liked that Myrtle got an appearance too, as she appeared to be really relishing the fact she had been brought back to life. Youíve left me on a cliff-hanger though, as to where the scream came from. I guess it could be someone being petrified, or relate to Hagrid or something entirely different.
That was an excellent chapter, and Iím now eagerly awaiting the next one :D
-Kiana Report Review
Yeah I kind of gave up on the idea of not coming back until tomorrowÖ The only consolation for me nearly catching up on This Longing is that I have the Lily one-shots to read after, then all those other WIPs to get stuck into. Itís rather exciting rather than sad that Iíll run out of posted chapters!
Iím having more of those semi-guilty thoughts where Iím hoping that Grimm becomes a soldier. I scanned your MTA page when I was posting in there earlier and saw that you liked historical books, so if you did decide to send him to war I would love it, because it would, no doubt, be historically accurate which is something which is often missing from many stories and it saddens me.
Grimm doesnít often think of Minervaís physical appearance all that much, so when he did it in this chapter it was really tender. What emphasised the specialness of the situation even more so was when he began to realise that he, perhaps, loves Minerva. I had a little inkling for a while now, and he always gave off hints, but I think this time was possible one of the most sincere ones.
Was this line possibly hinting about the basilisk, or was it me just being clueless? ĎThere was some real worry of a something wandering through Hogwarts,í either way I really loved it, and if anyone was going to deduce what was going on at Hogwarts other than Dumbledore, it could only be Minerva and Grimm.
Haha I just realised that Iíve always referred to Grimm as Grimm and never Tiberius. Iím not really sure why Iíve done that, probably due to reading The Fires Within before this and thatís what he was mainly referred to. It would be too weird to change now, so I guess Grimmís staying. On another minor and probably more relevant note than the one I just made, I really liked the brief cameo from Eileen. I always wondered what she would have been like at Hogwarts so I really liked this brief snippet.
You touched upon a key theme of the story with this line ĎThis was no world for youth, for innocenceí I canít believe I didnít even pick up on it at all. I suppose itís because Iíve taken this journey with Grimm and Minerva and that Iíve seen them mature at the same rate as they did. Itís only when you look back in retrospect that you realise how much theyíve changed from when they were having light hearted banter outside of Dumbledoreís office.
Iíve been waiting to see when Hagrid would feature again after the Myrtle incident and it definitely lived up to my expectations. Each characters reaction perfectly reflected how theyíve been portrayed throughout the story, which is great, because Iíve often see them go to pieces when they reach the iconic scene.
Hagridís characterisation really shone through in this chapter. You perfectly caught the feelings of guilt he had for what Aragog possibly may have done, then his love for him still remained despite the persecution. It really showed Hagridís loyalty for anything he loves, and even though Iím not partial to spiders, I was really touched by it.
Ooh you did spoil in this chapter with the scene between Grimm and Riddle at the end of this. It was so measured and balanced and didnít veer into OTT at all. I felt impressed that both of them managed to keep their composure and not draw wands at one another, but that reflects the intelligence and methodicalness (yeah I made it up, but no other word seemed appropriate enough :P) they both possess.
Ok this is actually going to be the last chapter review tonight as itís half eleven so I probably should go to bed! It was another excellent one and I feel with the last scene and what happened with Hagrid something big may be about to happen.
-Kiana Report Review
Yeah Iím back again :P I noticed a typo in the last review just as I hit submit, and I mean more not me! Thereís probably quite a few other ones, but Iíd rather carry on reading than proof reading! A more minor note, but that is a truly stunning chapter image.
You tease me too much, first with all the scenes with the thief and now we get another flashback. This line had some really lovely imagery ĎThe snow cut into her face.í Well, thereís a lot of beautiful imagery in all the chapters but I would probably go over the review limit if I included it all here. I just realised that you personified snow here and in one-shot, is it you favourite weather by any chance, or a mere coincidence? It was really lovely to get a glimpse at their earlier relationship, and how it still mirrors there present day one.
I like the scene when Minerva told the other prefects what had happened to Myrtle. You really caught the morbid curiosity people have when an incident, like Myrtleís one, occurs. Another subtler thing which I really liked is the change in the way Riddle spoke to Minerva. If you compare it to the party where he wanted to dance with her and was playing her pleasantries, to now where he appears to be bitter you can really tell how much killing someone, even if it was the basilisk, has changed him.
I like this daring nature of Minervaís even if it had to come about through unfortunate circumstance. First she plays truant and then she sneaks into the Ravenclaw common room. It reminded me of how she was during the Battle of Hogwarts where she had a rebellious spirit there too.
Iím rather worried about Grimmís current mental state. I didnít anticipate him to be so shaken up by Myrtleís death and for him to flee. I suppose I can console myself with what Minerva said about him hating enclosed areas. I thought this description of Grimm was perfect ĎWild, dramatic, intolerable.í It captures all the key characteristics which draw so many people into him. Ooh I found another perfect one for him ĎďYou are entirely nonsensical.Ēí Minerva really does have a wonderful vocabulary when describing him, or I should say you do.
There were two tiny remarks in this chapter which I really loved. The first being the fact that they were too young as it reflected how Harry, Ron and Hermione felt and showed that even in the wizarding certain events repeat themselves and a few will always rise to the challenge and defeat them. Then the second was the remark about the U-Boats and bombs. Though WWII hasnít featured much at all in this story, the brief comment about it here and there makes it all the more authentic.
The idea that Grimm had to join the muggle army reminded me of Amandaís Yellow and how magic and muggle events do merged together at times. It sounds horrible, but I would almost prefer him to join the army then go to the school in Canada, that way heíll be somewhat closer to Minerva, and I would prefer to read that then him being at school as it would bring him out of his comfort zone.
That was such a powerful line to end it on and it really made me reflect on how both their lives have changed throughout the course of this story. Iím going to stop reviewing for today so I still have some more of This Longing to read tomorrow :D
-Kiana Report Review
After that amazing chapter you left us on, I couldnít resist coming back for me :D
Iím so glad that this chapter picks straight off from where the last one left, even if we did miss the night in-between. I think it was right that it did, because otherwise I donĎt think we would have felt the full effect of Myrtleís and how it affected Minerva, Grimm and the rest of the students. Iím intrigued to see how Riddle reacts to it, heís such a good liar heíll probably act as if nothingís happened, though he may still have some touch of humanity left. Itís interesting to ponder.
Even though there was a kissing scene, which I loved, it wasnít too fluffy or romantic and had a touch of sorrow about it which reflected the circumstances which brought the two of them together. I could sense it in the way Grimm was talking and acting towards Minerva, as it seemed more measured and tender then beforehand. I think it was emphasised even more when Grimm was talking about how he didnít know how Minerva could stand him, and it seemed as if he thought she was weaker than him. But Minerva proved him wrong when she reminded him about what happened the night before, and I was glad about that.
It was interesting how you touched upon Minervaís brotherís death in this chapter. I like how weíre learning more and more about him through little hints and snippets as itís a lot more fun than just stating everything. I like that scene for another reason too, as it showed a more vulnerable and scared Minerva, thus making her more relatable. I think it was reflected the most when she couldnít go into the bathroom, as I wouldíve thought someone like her would be fearless in that respect, but this has clearly shaken her.
I donít think Iíve mentioned it before, so Iíll just say it now, but I really love the dialogue of Grimmís friends. It fits perfectly with the time period and the social standing I expect them to have, so itís such a pleasure to read.
I really liked Dumbledoreís measured response as to where Riddle was when it happened, it seemed very like him. Confirming that he does share a similar belief, yet telling them not to pursue it. Iím still puzzled by Dolores though, she always appeared to be one who looked up to higher authority, and though she does respect, and like, Grimm I would have thought she would have felt some loyalty to those in her house. But her being such an intriguing character makes it far more enjoyable to read.
You did a really great job of making them be in the unknown, and I donít think many other writes would have such control as you do. Itís interesting seeing it from my perspective as it seems so obvious that Riddle would open this mythical chamber and release the basilisk which would kill Myrtle. I suppose the only way I could understand their situation is remembering the first time I read CoS, though that was a long time so itís hard to recall :P
This was another excellent chapter and you managed to even weave in a bit of humour in an otherwise sombre chapter with this line ĎShe watched him, unable to understand. Did he think that she and Grimm hadĖ?Ď
-Kiana Report Review
Wow thatís a really haunting chapter image; itís making me wonder what on earth could happen in this chapter to cause Minerva to look like that.
I think the parts of the chapter when we get a glimpse of the thiefís perspective and learn more about his background are fast becoming my favourite parts. I think itís because of their effectiveness. You only say a little in them, yet they convey so much and itís really surprising. Though the only annoying thing about them is that it increases my desire to know whoís behind the stealing even more.
I really loved that scene when Minerva was confronting Walburga and Avery. It was great they you weaved even more canon characters, as itís always interesting to have a story behind people you know. I always found the pureblood families and their society fascinating to read, so I really enjoyed getting a flicker of it here.
I liked how even though they are Slytherins you added a humane touch to them to show that they do feel love, and have to suffer the consequences of it. I think the situation you created with Walburga not truly loving the person she is meant really great as it reflected Siriusí views of his parentsí relationship and it tied in perfectly with canon.
And we get another scene with the still unknown people. From the way they interacted with one another I think it may be Tom and Dolores. It would fit both of their personalities, and I can imagine that Umbridge would have this warped belief that this would separate Grimm from Minerva, and then she could then date him. I suppose youíre not going to tell me whether my assumptions are correct or not, so Iíll have to wait and see.
Hagridís accent was great, and I could just imagine his voice in my head. I suppose he was in the dungeons seeing Aragog, which must only mean that the attack on Myrtle must be coming up soon. Iíll be sad to see her die, as Iíve really grown attached to her throughout this story. Ah I was right! So Myrtle was the once-thief, I never saw that coming, but it makes it even more exciting due to the unpredictable nature of the book. I can fully well understand how terrible Myrtleís life must have been at Hogwarts with that bullying scene with Olive; it sort of justifies her actions for doing what she did.
Wow is all I can really say for that last scene. There were so many emotions ranging from guilt to love and it was simply wonderful. Even though I knew what Dumbledore was going to say to Minerva I still felt tense and afraid for her, in case of it being something much worse. The way Dumbledore told Minerva what had happened definitely suited him. He had the sorrow for the student dying, then the anger that he failed to do anything to prevent it from happening.
Minervaís and Tiberiusí reactions were exactly how I imagined them to be. They, too, felt guilt about it and if they found out what circumstances led her to be in that bathroom at that time; they would probably feel it even more due to them failing to prevent Oliveís teasing. I think it was right that something as monumental as this would bring them together, as theyíre both such stubborn characters and, therefore, couldnít give in unless it was something like this.
Another excellent chapter and I canít wait to see how their investigations further!
-Kiana Report Review
Ah I havenít read this story in ages thanks to school, but hey revision can wait a while as I need to get my Grimm and Minerva fill.
Even though Minerva obviously isnít happy about what happened with Grimm, I rather enjoyed reading those scenes as it was nice to see her as something different to the usually composed and self-assured person she is. Her thoughts seemed to be all over the place and it was strange, yet fitting for her to be like that.
It was interesting to see how she felt everyone was judging her with the asking of questions. I really liked how youíre showing a more broken down and vulnerable side to her, as itís such a stark contrast to the person I mentioned before, and it makes her more human as a result of it.
I really liked the scene with Minerva and Myrtle though. It was so touching to see how affected Minerva was by it, and so sad to see what a sorry state Myrtle is in. I really like how youíve created a backstory behind Myrtle as it just makes her story even more tragic and sad that she ended up dead, and she didnít even have a particularly nice life before that. Itís also great as it provides a reason as to why she ended up following Oliver Hornby around.
Itís interesting to see how Grimm reacted differently to Ďthe break upí (?). Heís still fixated on Riddle and Iím beginning to be too. I really want Grimm to get to the bottom of the bedroom wrecker, so I hope he and Minerva sought their issues out soon so they can get back to their crime fighting. Though, I do like seeing their characters like this as it really puts them in a new light.
Ooh and we get to see more of Dolores! I really wonder what must have made her change from this over-enthusiastic and almost, dare I say it, nice person, to the malicious, evil one we all love and know. It will be really interesting to see how her character develops throughout the course of this story.
Eek this line ĎďGood luck. At practice, I mean.ĒĎ was just perfect. It not only showed a sign towards the reconciliation, but I felt so proud of Grimm being the bigger person for once and apologising. I thought it was good enough that they both managed to control their tempers throughout this encounter but I didnít expect that.
Another great chapter and I hope I can be back more quickly next time!
-Kiana Report Review
Ah I have a theory sort of forming, though Iím probably wrong. Myrtle found Grimmís notebook in the toilets, she died in the toilets due Tom Riddle letting the basilisk free, and his diary kept on reappearing in the toilets, therefore, Grimmís notebook is Riddleís diary. Iím not completely sure how it works, but I may be right.
I really like your characterisation of Myrtle, sheís simply adorable. The way she has a crush (Iím guessing from the blushing) on Grimm, and then how scared she was. I really do feel for her, and I can understand why Olive Hornby ended up getting haunted when she died. I really hope that Minerva does something about her.
As perfect as Minerva and Grimm may be for each other, their respective tempers arenít going to do each other any favours. I have to agree with Minerva, that Myrtle is Grimmís responsibility and that he should do something about the bullying. Though I donít want them to be broken up, I can see itís the only course of action. Theyíre so complex I think they donít even understand themselves let alone the other.
I liked how Minerva instinctively knew what her animagus form would be, and Dumbledore seemed to be agreeing with her with that chuckle. Itís so nice to see how theyíre close bond formed, with her staying behind after lessons to ask question, and you could tell that she wanted hide her thoughts from him at the beginning, because, no doubt, he would know what they would be about.
Grimm reminded of Harry in the scene when they went to visit Dippet. He seemed to view him with disdain and not able to do anything which could improve the situation. I think it was the line from Dumbledore telling him to call him professor which made him most Harry like. Then again, I can see why Grimm wouldnít like Dippet, because from what we know about Riddle, he was close to the headmaster, and therefore, that would create a natural dislike on Grimmís front.
I liked the confrontation Grimm and Minerva had at the end of the chapter, it was just so them. This change in Grimm is worrying though. I donít think heís possessed by Voldemort, but there must be a reason behind. Itís probably just something simple such as worry over the events which have been happening. I guess weíll find out soon.
Another excellent chapter!
-Kiana Report Review
Iím beginning to worry about Grimm, he seems to be to so obsessed with Riddle at the moment, and it isnít like him to write an incoherent essay. He did bring up an important point however, about how Riddle and Grindelwaldís name were never said together. It makes you wonder if they would have teamed up to create an evil super force, Iím inclined to think no as Riddle never seemed to like being a team player, and was more of an individual sort of person.
I loved this line ĖĎIf she ever chose to become a professor, sheíd be downright terrifying.í It was just perfect, and it was funny to seen even as a teenager Minerva could still intimidate people. Minerva the ever pragmatic person, trying to get Grimm to finish his essay and think about the future. I suppose thatís the difference between them, as it seems Grimm can get distracted by things more easily than she can.
We get to meet up with the thief then. Thinking of the thief it reminded me of how Grindelwald stole the Elder wand, so perhaps this is just events repeating themselves. Even though that scene was relatively dark and mysterious, it was nice touch to include the drawings of Minerva as it made me aw.
Iíve found another awesome line from Minerva Ė ĎďIt may demonstrate your undying affections, but it isnít at all necessary, not if you take ill because of it.Ēí I thought it was rather sweet to see Grimm suffer like that, and it showed how badly he wanted the sequel to the kiss. Both of them seem to be quite secretive about their emotions though, so I doubt theyíre about to confess their undying for love for one another, I suppose thatís why Grimm had to resort to doing what he did.
I liked seeing Grimm interacting with his friends, it was interesting to see the dynamic of their friendship. It seemed to be a more normal one compared to the one he has with Minerva or Moody. I think it was the fact that they spoke about quidditch, as that was such a typical teenage boy thing to do, it was almost strange to see Grimm talk about it, even if it was only to say he lacked knowledge in that department.
I think that note shocked me as much as it shocked them. I think Minervaís observations about Riddle are correct, but now I donít think itís him, itís a question of who could hate Grimm so much to be the thief. Of course Grimm would use that situation to his advantage and kiss Minerva, perhaps he was proposing the separation so to kiss her.
Another thrilling chapter :D
-Kiana Report Review
I was reading one of your responses about Minerva not having any female friends, and I donít think it should be something to worry about too much. From the way youíve portrayed her, it seems like the only person she could really get along with is Grimm, and none of the female characters in the story seem like a fitting friend for her. I always imagined her as a recluse person without that many friends, so your image of her fits perfectly in my head.
Referencing the point I just made to the chapter in hand, you showed how different she was with the others, as she doesnít seem to miss the fact that sheís no longer part of the mass. You showed that though she seemed friendly with her quidditch team, she was still apart from them, and the bit about whether to confiscate the first years things reminded me of Percy, as he was recluse and almost isolated too.
I liked seeing the beginnings of what would be the death eaters; they already are rather chilling in the way they acted towards Grimm. I liked how you showed that Riddle was still human, as he seemed rather hurt that Minerva was betraying him for Grimm, but at the same time heís still such a cold character. This is another complex thing about Grimmís character, as he hasnít really aligned himself with either side of the war. He dislikes both Riddle and Grimm, and it almost seems odd that someone as opinionated as him doesnít have a strong feeling on a matter as strong as this.
I liked the mention towards the two Black boys, as it reminded me of Regulus and Sirius. They were both Black boys too, but one of them decided to go the other way. It was interesting to see how history always has itís ways at repeating itself.
Your writing amazes me so much! The way you manage to go from such a tense scene, to one of romance bordering on fluff with the kiss so smoothly is outstanding. The thoughts in Minervaís head prior to the kiss were perfect, and you could sense how the timing was finally right for the kiss, and that she had given into her feelings. Of course only those two would suggest having an agreement about the state of their relationship in writing!
I liked how you still manage to retain their character and friendship despite the kiss. I hate it when authors suddenly make them clones of one another, and cannot abide a second a part so I very much preferred this version. If only the gossipers of the Great Hall knew the truth of their relationship. Iím sure they would be talking in something significantly louder than a whisper.
I really liked the scene with Moody, and it seemed fitting that his mother is a tomb breaker! Of course someone like him would have to have parents with such adventurous jobs! You wrote Dumbledore perfectly again. It seemed fitting that he would trust Minerva with a lot of private thoughts, and foreshadows what comes to be their relationship later on.
Another excellent chapter!
-Kiana :D Report Review
I already have a good feeling about this chapter mainly due to the chapter image and the title of this chapter :D
I was so excited that we got to learn more about Minervaís family, sheís such a complex character I really wanted to learn more about the people who helped formed it. I really like how you showed what a strong character she is, despite how cold her family is, sheís still resilient to it, and managed to feel happy and content there.
Silly Minerva though, refusing Grimmís offer of escaping, but then again it shows how sheís independent enough to be able to cope on her own. I really liked the mention of Peeves it seemed so like him, and I never see him in any stories so it was great to get him here.
I really liked the place details of a Glasgow slum or a Fife mining village, it just seems to give the story that authenticity and make it more believable. Iíve been to Glasgow and I can imagine that someone like Corry might come from there. Though not all Glaswegians are horrible.
Hmm, I wonder why Grimm decided to call his owl Nero. Is he implying that he has the same personality as the emperor, or is it just his idea of a joke? Iím really disliking Corry, the way she snatched the letter, and has this generally horrible nature. I guess I felt a little sympathy towards her that she only held the place of a servant and not much more, but that sympathy didnít last long. I really hope we get to find out more about her brother, and how he died, and why he chose to marry Corry.
I really liked how you put this story into context, with the mentions of the feather being handed out to those that didnít fight, and the trouble in Europe with Grindelwald. Like with the location factors it just makes it so much more authentic and enjoyable to read.
I found the way Grimmís mother knew so much about Minerva so sweet. Grimm must like her a lot if his mum knew exactly what she looked like, and her constant referencing that he spoke a lot about her. I almost wouldnít think he would say much, as he seems like a private person, then again, heís complex that you canít really expect anything from him.
I rather liked the sound of Lady Grimm too; she just seemed to have this nice air about. Even though she was a lady, she didnít seem snobbish at all, and you could tell that she would be a lovely person to talk to. I have a feeling that there should be some hidden side to her, your character are always complex, I feel as if thereís going to be this big twist.
I felt rather sorry for Grimm, I can just imagine him sitting there thinking that Minerva wonít accept his invitation when does in fact, it created a rather sorrowful image of him. Then their little moment! With Grimm calling her darling, the wrist holding and Minerva finally admitting she doesnít treat him nicely all of the time. I disliked Lady Grimm for a little when she had to come in and interrupt it, then Minervaís embarrassment when she did so, I could almost feel it.
I think I spotted a typo here Ė ĎďYou mother has an idea about us.Ēí I think it should be your mother :)
Haha, even though it was a terrible dilemma they were in, I couldnít help but laugh at how serious Minerva was becoming about it. Itís so strange to see what social constraints they were under, and how they really couldnít socialise. Grimm seemed so pragmatic about it all, with him merely stating that he thought he was too young, but he would marry someone if he had to marry anyone, whereas Minerva was on a verge of a breakdown.
More girl power Minerva at the end with her kindly telling Grimm to take more care with his guests in future. I was wondering what her reaction may be, but I felt really proud of her to see that she remained composed and just gave him a witty reply.
Another excellent chapter!
-Kiana :DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for this wonderfully long review! It's always a pleasure to see a new one from you. :D You engage closely with the story, and it means a lot to see how you react to the big and little things alike.
What I really liked about including this chapter in the story was how it takes Grimm and Minerva out of Hogwarts, and because people are often very different at school than they are at home, it gave me an opportunity to explore a different side of their personalities. This definitely comes into play for Minerva because, like you've mentioned, she's more of an enigma, constantly holding things back, even (or especially) from Grimm. At home, however, the power dynamic is very different - her sister-in-law is domineering, mostly because she's so insecure, a state that has only increased since she's become a widow. As for Minerva's parents, they're just quiet people - it seems like they're cold, but it's from them that Minerva gets her reserve.
I'm glad that you liked the detail about the feather! I'm not actually sure whether it was done during WWII, but it certainly comes up a lot in regard to the WWI and how it judges young men purely on appearance - if they /look/ old/able enough, then they must go fight, which doesn't take into account actual age or disability (I've also read about the opposite, where some men avoided war by taking a desk job, using money and influence to keep away from the front lines). It's a very complicated period to deal with, and I take pride in being able to ground the story in the history - the same character could have an entirely different personality if you change the period in which they exist, so it's something that all writers really need to keep in mind, even in a small way.
Thanks for pointing out that typo. :D I'll actually stop my response here because if I try to discuss the intricacies of Grimm and Minerva's relationship, I'll probably end up writing spoilers. The story grows with their relationship, and I can't always look back without mentioning what comes after, if that makes any sense. It's fantastic that you liked this chapter and what it does for the characters! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! ^_^ Report Review
Why do things keep on preventing from reading this story, itís so annoying!
Even though theyíre meant to be working together to solve the puzzle about the intruder theyíre still arguing. I didnít expect anything less from them to be honest, and Iíve grown so used to them acting like that now, that it would almost be weird if they started being civil to one another! I liked the analogy of Minerva being like an underfed cat, I think it was just how she already identified herself with them even though she hadnít become an animagus yet.
I liked her meeting with Riddle. You could tell at the beginning that she was almost trying hard not to view him as someone who was attractive. It makes you wonder whether that scent she picked up on him represents the creepiness she later feels towards him. I found interesting that Tom just disappeared when she implied that she didnít want to be spoken to. It suggests to me that he has some level of respect for her, and will do what she wishes.
I like how youíre slowly revealing the mystery behind Grimm and Minerva. They shared a rather tender moment when he inquired whether she was ok after speaking to Grimm, and her frustration at Potions. I hope we get to hear more about Grimmís brief foray into tutoring Minerva as it sounds as if thereís a lot of history behind it, and I canít wait to find out more.
Theyíre both such puzzling people, and itís almost funny to see how theyíre both trying to analyse one anotherís behaviour and figure out whatís really going on. I think thatís why there so well suited as they do have the best intentions for the other, even though it isnít always conveyed that way! Grimm does seem to bring about a more care free and rebellious side to Minerva with the suggestions of the midnight walks or going down to the kitchens.
Dumbledore was so Dumbledore in this chapter. The way he was trying to give a rational explanation for Grimmís behaviour yet at the same time nudging Minerva to tell him why he was acting like that. You write him brilliantly and itís such a pleasure to read as Iíve come across several badly written Dumbledores! I canít believe he basically admitted that he did play match maker when choosing head boy and girl, it just seemed like something he would do. Cunning yet with nice results, itís so subtle you almost donít notice it!
Another excellent chapter, and I canít wait for the next!
-Kiana :DAuthor's Response: Another review! Thank you for coming back! :D
Oh dear, I hope that they're not arguing too often. They have a tendency to do that, and if I'm ever overdoing it, please let me know. It's easier than I thought to fall into the hate-hate romance cliche. Minerva still feels a lot of anger about that moment in the past, though if one asked her, she wouldn't be able to say why. To her, Grimm broke a contract, overstepped an unspoken boundary, and she just can't let it go. I haven't actually done much more with their tutoring sessions, but it would be a good idea to mention them again at some later point, perhaps to show how far both of them have come. :)
The scene with Riddle was quite something to write - he makes one's flesh creep, yet he possesses a charm that's almost undeniable, and for a moment, even Minerva is blinded by it. He does respect her, in his own strange way, because she's proven herself to be formidable, someone equal to himself (to see it from his point of view). Do watch the clue about the scent, though, because it becomes significant later on. ;)
In spite of myself, I do like writing Dumbledore, perhaps because he has that really murky past behind him, and combined with his odd whims, it makes him a very strange character - a true eccentric, straight out of the Victorian age. I'm so glad to hear that you like how I've written him! :D
Thank you so much for your kind words! It's excellent to hear that you've enjoyed the story and its characters, and I hope that you continue to do so! ^_^ Report Review
Arghhh!! I've taken way too much time to get back to you with this review!! I can't believe that this chapter only has one other review... It's kind of sad, because this is probably one of the best stories I've ever read on HPFF. If I could give you two reviews on one chapter, believe me, I would!!
Well, everything is just falling into place. The characters are getting more anxious as the mystery of Myrtle's death still hangs over them. I just love your writing style, as I've said several times before, and even if the timeline is not completely the same as the canon timeline, I don't think anyone should have any complaints! You've taken a rarely-explored time and done so much to make it come to life. That's the best thing any fanfiction writer could hope for!!
My greatest hope is that I can one day come back and reread this whole story (unfortunately, Life tells me that I don't have time right now) so that I can fully appreciate all the nuances and the drama.
My favorite scene of this chapter was Minerva's conversation with Tiberius. You really showed all of their emotions and fears of the future, and that raw emotion is really what drives people to action. Will there ever be anything between them that is more than just a ghost girl and a mysterious killer? Not likely, but as a teenage girl, I'd like to believe that maybe there's something of a tragic romance, latent of course. This story is not for snogging and "romantic trysts" in broom closets. It is for action, and doubt, and mystery, and waiting. It is for seeing older characters in younger days, and knowing that this event, the death of an innocent, albeit annoying, young Ravenclaw.
I look forward to reading the next chapter, and I hope that you still enjoy writing this story. It is a beautiful and astounding read. If the characters speak to you, I hope that they continue to divulge all of their secrets to you.
~~UnluckyStar57Author's Response: Thank you so much for coming by! I'm very sorry that I've taken so long to respond - hopefully you're still around to see this! Your compliments mean so much - I can't express how much they mean. One review like this is worth. Just hearing that you think so highly of this story is enough for me. ^_^
How am I supposed to reply to this review? It's fantastic to hear that the pieces are falling into place - the plot has become more complicated than I anticipated, and I keep worrying that something will be forgotten (a few things have been, and I've been trying to slip them in where i can). The characters are right at the edge of things, and from here most everything should resolve - whether it's a satisfying resolution is up to the reader. ;)
Oh wow, I'm glad to hear about that raw emotion. One very important aspect of this story is Minerva's growth, how she has learns to work through her emotions and develop into an adult. You're right to wonder whether Grmm and Minerva have anything else connecting them - they are certainly fond of one another, but it's the mystery plot that has been driving them together in a different way. The rawness of feeling changes Minerva in a way that wouldn't happen on its own, but it doesn't make her "fall" for Grimm in the conventional sense. She does love him, but not in a sweeping, tragically romantic way. It's surprising how much of a challenge that love is to write because, for some reason, it has more feeling behind it - it's deeper, more painful.
If anything, the last couple of chapters have made me love writing this story more than before. Thank you for helping inspire me along! I hope that you're able to enjoy the rest of the story, which should be completed this year. :D Report Review
The beginning was brilliant! I already have my suspicions about who the intruder could be, well the my suspicion is thatís Tom Riddle, though I do feel a little biased accusing just because of what he turns out to be later on in life but you never know. I liked seeing Grimmís affections for Minerva from another eye, it made a nice change, and it showed me how much he did love her.
I enjoyed the chess scene, it seemed so them to play it. I liked their respective comments about each otherís houses, as it was so true that Gryffindors enjoy winning far too much. She is rather curious girl though, and like Grimm, I can never predict what she may do next. I think thatís part of the reason why I really love your characterisation of her, as the mystery behind her actions is great.
I also really liked the inclusion of the canon things. It was interesting to see that dispute between Olive and Myrtle was so well known that Minerva commented on it. They had such different views on how to handle the situation. I never imagined that Grimm would be the Bolshevik, as he comes from a more prestigious background, and I would have thought that role would go to Minerva.
I liked the foreshadowing of Grimm having this sense of calm, and he finding it bemusing that he would feel like that. Then of course he discovers the storm the intruder caused in his room. It seemed fitting that he felt so scared, and confused about what had happened, and I thought you captured his emotions about it brilliantly.
You could tell that he was taking this situation very seriously by him going to Dumbledore about it. I never would have thought the day would come when he willing went and spoke to him, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Dumbledore was perfectly in character, and the way he wasnít take sides initially and attempting to solve the crime without accusations was great.
So Minerva has some mystery behind her then? I wonder how her brother died, and why in France of all the places? I hope we get to find out soon. I think she would make an excellent addition to the Holyhead Harpies, she seems so head strong like the rest of the team, and I can just imagine her fitting in with them perfectly. I think she should give up on analysing Grimmís actions both of them are so complex it would take their entire life to solve each other.
Yay Hagrid made an appearance! Iím guessing that the creature he was with was Aragog? I forgot that the chamber of secrets hadnít been opened yet, and I canít wait to see all the drama when it does open. I liked the hints about the war brewing outside the castle with Grindelwald, as it makes you realise there were dark times in the wizarding world before Voldemort came along too.
I liked the quote from Shakespeare, I thought it was great! And all the drama unfolding about the mystery of the intruder. I can imagine Grimm and Minerva being good detectives together, and I canít wait to see if they can solve this mystery or not!
Another excellent chapter!
-Kiana :DAuthor's Response: It's fantastic to hear from you again! Your reviews are so positive that I don't know how to respond except to thank you profusely for your kindness. ^_^
I had to look back at the chapter to understand all of the things you were discussing here, and can I say that I was pleased with what I read? The chess game did turn out well, and I'm pleased to hear that you enjoyed it. What would you call the kind of conversation they're having? It's not bantering, though it's close - there's something of a rivalry between them, an intellectual rivalry, and it's interesting to see how Grimm accuses Minerva of being competitive when, throughout that whole conversation, he's the one being competitive, constantly comparing himself to her. He is threatened by her talents, and doesn't know how to deal with a girl who is so good at Quidditch and chess, and who is clearly a more powerful witch than he is. Yet at the same time, he finds it alluring, even exciting.
She is curious, but I'm interested in how you also find her mysterious. She's very quiet about what's going on in her head, and even when she's the one the narrator follows, one can still feel Minerva holding back. The death of her brother is something she definitely doesn't want to talk about, mostly because she feels guilt over it. He died in France, and I've imagined that he chose to be a fighter pilot - both McGonagall siblings loving to fly. But Minerva didn't write to him nor did she speak to him much after his marriage, so now that he's dead, she has a lot of regrets and wishes that she had done something more.
Writing about her brother reminds me of something I want to return to in the new chapter, so thank you for bringing it up! :D
Minerva is too practical to deal in politics. Grimm is a rebel, and because he's high-strung, he often finds himself on the wrong side of tradition and the upper classes. But it's impossible to forget that he is well-off - for all his ideals, he takes a lot for granted, and that proves to be his downfall.
Yes, Hagrid was with Aragog. I'm slowly introducing more of that side of the story into the plot, showing fragments of Hagrid's and Myrtle's lives in this fateful year. It's great that you like those canon details - they mean a lot to me when reading and writing fanfiction, and I like to take care that I've grounded each story in the right context. :)
Thank you again for reading and reviewing! I look forward to seeing what you think of the rest of this story! Report Review
I thought it was rather sweet to see that Minerva was taking care of Grimm. She neednít and if I was in that position I may have given into my evil side and forced him to be looked after the nurse, just so I could see their bitter hatred for one another appear. He didnít seem to appreciate the efforts much with him asking her what she was doing, and denying fainting. I suppose it was rather embarrassing for him, and I would probably do the same if I was in his situation.
Of course heís not going to die! It was just a bit of glass in his hand, and theyíre wizards so of course they could cure themselves. It was interesting that Minerva picked up on his anger towards Riddle, I didnít realise his dislike of him was so apparent. He did seem to pick up on his creepiness though, and you could see that he was only doing it out of good intentions as he obviously didnít want Minerva to go the same way as the other girls.
And her reaction too, was completely understandable. I always imagined her as a feminist so the way she reacts with anger about suggestions of her promiscuity are entirely accurate. At least Grimm picked up on it with his comment about her knowledge on jinxes.
I like how theyíve come to some sort of truce now. With Minerva repaying him for what he did for her with the headmaster theyíre on a level footing now. They both seemed to recognise that with Grimm asking her to get the bandages, and her obliging. It was a sweet moment to see that they can be nice to each other now and then, and there seem to respect one another now.
No go away Dolores! Grimm was probably about to reveal some secret which he had never told anyone about before, and you have to come along and accuse them of sneaking off together. I do like how youíve made a humorous character though, itís enjoyable to see. The way Minerva drew upon her screaming everywhere, and her justifying it by saying it was traumatic. It seems to suite her somehow, and itís nice to see she wasnít always evil.
I liked that almost altercation between Dolores and Minerva though. Of course Grimm would come and interfere and ask for his wand back. Those little moments seem to make a possible relationship between him and Minerva more realistic. At least Minerva managed to get rid of her, and told her off. Again, I can see where there hatred of one another later in life may have stemmed from.
Theyíre finally opening up to one another! I liked how we got to learn more about their respective families, and how they differed. It was really touching to see that Minerva was the only woman Grimm could stand beside his mother, I never imagined him to feel like that. Then him deciding to come and watch her play quidditch was again touching, and I canít wait for that scene.
Another excellent chapter!
-Kiana :DAuthor's Response: It's fantastic that you liked this chapter! It's one of my personal favourites, probably because it's the first time that we see into Grimm and Minerva's relationship. They're finally alone, and both of them (but especially Grimm) have set aside the masks they wear around others.
Minerva has always been an interesting character because although Rowling has made her a feminist, she also has a maternal side - which isn't a surprise because all of the "good" women in the Potterverse are maternal - and I've included it in Minerva's treatment of people like Myrtle and Hagrid. It also comes through when Grimm is in a state like this, though it's accompanied by the kind of exasperation she had with the Marauders and the Trio's antics.
It's interesting, that choice you say Minerva had to be cruel or kind to Grimm. The romantic in me wants to say that her kindness reveals a deeper feeling, but the practical side of me - the Minerva side, I could call it - says that she helps him because it needs doing and she happens to be available. It alludes to her work later on as a nurse during the war.
Grimm is a drama queen. He's so good at blowing things out of proportion, and because he's never been disciplined, he doesn't know to restrain his emotions. He's the wild, passionate one in contrast to Minerva's more stoic personality - it's another way that they're better together because their weaknesses and strengths balance out. :)
I'm glad to hear that Dolores doesn't sound evil - I always worry that my dislike of her character as an adult shows through too much. There's almost something pitiful about her in this story because, like Minerva, she doesn't belong in any particular "group". But Minerva seems to have more confidence in herself, or at least she can repress herself more, and refuses to show the world that she's lost or lonely. Dolores is a "louder" person and even the Slytherins dislike her, which is why, later on in life, she neither aligns with Voldemort nor the Order, but decides to take over the world on her own.
Oh no, I'm writing Umbridge's biography again. >< Someone has to write that story one day.
Thank you again for reading and reviewing this story! It's wonderful to read through your comments - they're wonderfully inspiring. ^_^ Report Review
Yay itís the long awaited party! I find it insanely cute that Grimm invited Moody, it seems as if thereís a little bromance developing between the two! I guess anyone would need the drinks if they had to spend the whole evening with Dolores Umbridge, as I canít imagine that would be pleasant. Well, to be fair, Grimm should have manned up and asked Minerva instead of playing all of these games!
Hahaha so Dolores has become a girly girl! She was one anyway with the excessive amounts of pink she wore, but now sheís turned into one in the way she acts too. It seems to suite her for some reason, and the way she was fawning over poor old Grimm, who clearly wanted to be in the furthest place possible from her. Then subtly insulting her to boot! I always thought he was a nice person, but then again, annoying people can make you do things out of character.
Iíll say it now because otherwise Iíll forget, but there seems to be a slight formatting issue with this chapter because every paragraph seems to be indented by quite a bit. It just proved a little distracting at times so I thought I would point it out :)
YOU MENTIONED AUSTEN! Ok I already thought this was story was amazing, then bringing Jane Austen into it just brings up to a whole new level, and the fact it was Grimm who mentioned it, does this mean heís read it? His comparison of the world of Austen to the current one he was in was very accurate, and I can imagine the delicate diplomacy one would have to carry out at both.
Ok this chapter made me a little excited, and I was going to calm down, then you threw in Grimm catching sight of Minerva and it made me have fuzzy feelings again! I can imagine the transformation Grimm must have seen though, she doesnít seem like the one to dress up or down much just always remain uniform, and I suppose thatís why she created such excitement by wearing a dress. Then the way she started to blush when she noticed Grimm was staring at her was great!
I liked the brief mention of Tom and Minerva being a couple, however unlikely it may be for some, I still agree with Grimm that they would make a great couple, and they rank second alone to Minerva and Grimm. WAHAHA! OK! THIS CHAPTER IS AMAZING! SHE ASKED HIM TO DANCE! Stop writing such exciting stuff, itís getting overwhelming! It was so Minerva though of course she would be the one to ask him! The dance was just perfect, and I loved the interaction between them, especially Minerva whispering to him at the end!
Sorry Grimm but however great this opportunity is, I am not allowing you to take it on behalf of Minerva. Canada is too far away, and itís Montreal so heíll have to learn French, and I canít imagine that Grimm would be an enthusiastic language learner! Stay in England or Scotland if you want. Well I know he does anyway because of The Fires Within but I donít about the interlude between now and then. So he may disappear.
I really liked how you related to the historical events of the muggle world. It makes sense in my head for wizards to have played some part in muggle history, especially the world wars. And for the pureblood families like the Selwyns to be with Grindelwald makes sense again.
I donít know whether I should be happy or not. I mean Minervaís dancing with Tom, and I love that pairing so it made me excited, but to see how downtrodden Grimm was at seeing them made my heart ache for him. He was finally fighting for her with the feeling of jealously then snapping the glass, and then he goes and faints on us, even if Minerva comes to the rescue! Honestly, this man!
Another amazing chapter and I think this has to be the best so far!
-Kiana :DAuthor's Response: This is a huge review, wow! I never thought any of these chapters could get so much feedback at once - thank you for taking the time to not just read, but be so detailed in your review. I'll apologize ahead of time for not being able to sufficiently respond - I'll try my best to come up with something, though.
There is indeed a bromance - Moody is the only person Grimm feels comfortable around because Moody is, in spite of his eccentricities, pretty laid back and undemanding. They also think in much the same way, so they're often in harmony with one another, making for a safe friendship - they don't judge one another, and for both of them, that's important.
With Dolores, I like the idea of her being able to successfully act out femininity, and she takes that act to its extreme. It sets her apart from someone like Minerva, who really doesn't care how "feminine" she is. Dolores uses femininity as a weapon, or at least a tool to achieve her ends - she has considerable intelligence, which she later uses to climb the ranks at the Ministry, but she's been trained to view marriage as her path to power. She hasn't come to that point where marriage is no longer an option - or rather no longer something she wants because it would mean sharing her power and herself. At this moment, though, she is even willing to marry a half-blood. My headcanon is that her family has lost its wealth, descended from the Selwyns, but due to poor management and bad breeding, they no longer have any social clout. She then spends her life trying to regain that power, even if it's only for herself in the end - this is one reason why she is so eager to possess the locket, a symbol of the heritage she desperately wants to connect with.
Oh dear. Where did that come from? If I could be sure that people would actually read a novel about Umbridge's life and struggles, I could now write it. :P
The funny thing about Tom and Minerva is that they would make a good-looking couple, as though they'd stepped out of Hollywood. It's interesting that Grimm's jealousy is based on appearances and his own lack of confidence in his own appearance. He's really a very average-looking southern English boy, and when he compares himself to Moody or Riddle, he knows how much he comes up short. I like the idea of writing about a boy's body image issues, though I didn't get into it as much as I would have liked. Grimm doesn't like himself, and while he puts on this outward image of joking arrogance, it's only an act to hide his painful insecurity.
What do you mean "learn French"? I can assure you that Grimm already knows it - not very well, and certainly not Quebecois francais, but he wouldn't have to worry about learning it (anyway, Montreal is fairly bilingual).
Thank you again for reading and reviewing this chapter! It makes me smile each time to read your reviews because you pick up on all the interesting little things, leading me to write novels about minor characters and also think through the major characters. It's a wonderful help! ^_^ Report Review
Itís taking me far too long to get through this! But hey the Easter Holidays are coming up soon, and whatís not a better way to spend them then reading more about dear Minerva and Tiberius!
I was glad that Minerva saw through Grimmís plot to get at her, you could tell that she was a little bothered by it, but it was nice to see that all that effort was because of her. She really has analysed his actions a lot? The way she observed his friends and enemies and whether he treated them differently or not. Then again, I think anyone whoís beginning to like someone else notes all of their behaviour.
Even though it was only a brief mention it was nice to see that Hogwarts hadnít changed too much and that there would always be people snogging behind statues and praksters lurking about! It just felt like coming home really :í)
I liked the appearance of Alastor, I forgot that he would have been at school at the same time as them. I can imagine that he would have been friends with someone like Grimm. Theyíre both quirky characters, so itís as if they became friends due to being kindred spirits. He reminded me greatly of the Alastor we know from the books, and it was rather comforting to know that he had always been like that.
Haha did Grimm really say that Minerva had Ďa well-rounded formí. He really does make me chuckle with his witty observations. I donít think Iíve come across someone whoís made such good ones! Then the way he shushed Moody, it was almost as if he didnít want Minerva to notice him, so he could carry on looking! Then when he gave her the ring, there were so many conflicting emotions and tension, it was perfect!
Then there was a brief interlude of anger in their relationship, and I was worrying that the brief calm was going to be ruined. Of course Grimm had to go and be forward and shush Minerva, it was great though! Poor old Alastor, having to stand there and watch this scene unfold before him. That must have been awkward for him!
Then him having to justify his answer, and calling Minerva alluring! I donít think Iíve ever heard that adjective describe her, but if Grimm feels that way, I guess I could use to her being that. I agree with Grimm she does appear queenly at times, she just has this regal air about her. I think thatís why Iím in love with your chapter images, because she really does fit the role of Lady Mary!
I liked their almost reconciliation at the end, with Grimm admitting his aims with asking Umbridge, and saying how far he had sunk. Then Minerva almost pitying him, and showing him there was a way out with this mysterious potion.
Then the ending! I was not expecting that! Now I have all these crazy theories about Grimm belonging to some secret cult floating around my head!
An excellent chapter as always :í)
-Kiana :DAuthor's Response: Thank you for coming back to this story! ^_^ I've really enjoyed reading and responding your reviews - here's hoping I can finally be inspired to finish this story soon!
Haha, you've caught Minerva analyzing Grimm - she rather does that a lot, though she would hate to be aware of it. She does note peoples' behaviour, not only because she's been both a prefect and Head Girl, but also out of interest. She's always been on the outside, even with her place on the Quidditch team, and those kind of people tend to be observers. It's at once a weakness and a strength of hers, that she doesn't easily connect with those around her, but that, as a result, she is able to see the world from a clearer perspective.
Grimm sees the world in a different way, often more humourous in this story, though as the plot develops, he grows darker. Whether this is due to Minerva's influence or his pursuit of Tom Riddle is not certain - Grimm definitely undergoes a transformation during this story, and I hope that it makes sense as you continue reading. :)
Moody's years at Hogwarts are unknown, and while the Lexicon guesses him to be the same age as Arthur Weasley, I've always imagined him to be older, especially since wizards live longer than Muggles - he could easily be in his 70s during Harry's time. It's interesting to place him among these characters, and as I wrote them together, he seemed to get along with Grimm and Minerva, and fit into their dynamic. Don't worry - he isn't really capable of feeling awkward, even when Grimm and Minerva are flirting, haha. I'm glad to hear that you like him in this story! :D
Thank you again for reading and reviewing! It's wonderful that you're enjoying the story! Report Review
I can safely say Iím not happy about how itís taking me to get through This Longing, but school likes to interfere with things :( But hey at least Iím here now :D
I felt rather sorry for poor old Grimm at the beginning of this chapter, he appeared so forlorn, you couldnít help but pity him. I almost couldnít believe it when he was contemplating brewing Amortentia, I just didnít expect to see such a rebellious side to him, and for love of all things, I guess thatís whatís making him act so out of character.
Was the Prince girl, Eileen Prince by any chance, as I figured the timings would be right?
It was interesting to see that Minerva was the more tolerant one of the two. Even though it was only acknowledging Tomís greeting, it still told us a lot about her character, and how she was more willing to tolerate those perceived as evil, than Grimm was.
I agree with Grimm Ďmisgivingsí does have a certain ring to it. It was nice, and rather brave of him to stand up for Minerva. Well he ought to, considering it was his fault that they had landed in this predicament, but still it showed that he developed and matured to recognise when the fault laid with him, and that he should own up to that fact.
I really liked Grimmís and Minervaís interactions with one another. They just seemed to be written so naturally, and you can sense the tension and chemistry between them both. They just seemed to hold some many feelings for one another, that I cannot even comprehend them all and Iím just an observer. Itís really well written though, as you can just imagine this happening, and thatís not often the case when romance is depicted in fan fiction.
Then the ending was wonderful, with the mention of Pax. I really hope that we get to learn more about their respective families as they both sound so intriguing and differing, and it will be interesting to see whether they shaped their characters or not!
Another excellent chapter, and hopefully Iíll be back sooner :D
-Kiana!Author's Response: Take your time! It's a long novel, and I don't know how long it's going to take me to write the next chapter - for some reason, I'm particularly slow in writing this story (probably because I don't want it to end :P). It's wonderful of you to read and review each chapter, though - thank you for taking the time to do so!
What I love about writing Grimm is that he's inconsistent and unpredictable, and it is his main weakness because it means that he can't commit to anything; it also leads him to make stupid mistakes and quick judgments. His emotional state is fragile and frequently changeable. Minerva is the stronger one of the two and will always be so - it creates a fascinating dynamic to write. It's something I also don't see much of in romance stories - it wouldn't be hard to switch their genders and end up with a more stereotypical romance.
The girl is Eileen Prince! She comes and goes in the story, so keep an eye out for her. :D
I'm so glad to hear that their relationship sounds natural and believable. It has helped that I created it for "The Fires Within", so I was able to work out the kinks there before moving onto this one. Yet there's also something about the two of them that just fits - maybe it's in the way that I constructed Grimm as the "equal and opposite" to Minerva. Whatever it is, it make me happy that you like it. ^_^
Thank you again! I hope that you enjoy the rest of the story! Report Review
Itís so strange yet adorable to see Minerva reminiscing about the event in the corridor, you can tell she wants to keep on thinking about it, but everyone else keeps on interrupting her thoughts! It seems as if the rest of the year what Minerva and Grimm to be together, by saying that they keep on looking at each other, well to be fair, I want them to be together as well.
Then the thing in the library, it was so awkward and adorable, adwarkable? I think thatís the definition of their relationship, as theyíre both so stubborn and determined that theyíre right, and refuse to give in, and itís just so funny to watch.
They actually had a conversation, even if the conversation was about how they shouldnít be talking, but itís a start as they were vaguely civil towards them. I think I was as shocked as Tiberius was when Minerva touched him, there she was saying that they should be prim and proper around each other, and then that. I agree with Tiberius I donít think they can be friends, they can only be more or less. I thought it was going to be more, with him caressing her, then Minerva returned to her cool self, but thatís what you would expect from her!
This line made me extraordinarily happy Ė ĎGrimm spent most of his time in a grim mood,í!
Umbridge appeared again! I can see how the hate between her and Minerva was so strong now! They were both fighting over poor old Grimm! I would have thought that Umbridge would have been another Riddle follower, but I was sort of glad to see it wasnít the case, as it shows that she wasnít always that evil.
I loved the ending of this chapter, I canít believe Grimm would sink that low and go with Umbridge, just as a form of revenge! It was interesting that Grimm picked up on Tomís surname, I never thought of it being so fitting before!
Another excellent chapter, and my love for Grimm and Minerva just grows more and more every chapter!
-Kiana!Author's Response: One of the cliches I wanted to play with in these early chapters was how everyone shipped the two Heads, as though being made Head Boy and Girl also means having to fall in love. Minerva and Umbridge are like the only two who don't want it to happen. Minerva wants to figure out Grimm - he's opaque to her and she finds herself constantly reevaluating her understanding of his character.
Awkwardable is now a word! It's a perfect one too for these kind of comedic romantic moments. They're both such nerds, and it's adorable to watch them make a mess of social situations. :P
It was great to be able to explore the history between Minerva and Umbridge because after reading OotP, there /had/ to be something there - the movie version further emphasized it, thanks to the brilliant acting. I'm not sure that I like how their relationship turned out in this story, as I would have liked it to take on more of an academic, rather than romantic, rivalry. Umbridge is intelligent behind all of that very stereotypical girlishness, and there's a ruthlessness to her that easily matches Minerva's stubbornness. It's something I would love to go back and revise once I finally finish writing this novel.
Thank you again for being a fantastic reader and reviewer! It's meant so much for you offer feedback on every chapter! ^_^ Report Review
Hello there! I said I would be back soon, and Iím so glad that I did, if it was mainly due to the chapter image ;D
I liked the start of the chapter, as McGonagall is usually depicted as a rather cool woman, and you would never expect her to experience embarrassment, yet it seemed fitting, and it showed how this will develop into a relationship between her and Grimm, due to the subtle hinting.
Itís quite nice that Iíve The Fires Within beforehand, as it allows me to compare the character of Grimm there, to the one here, and itís nice to find that some of his traits are still the same. I think there was one line, where he was described as cutting up toast with scientific precision, it seemed like something he would do, and I can imagine him bent over it, getting it right down to the mm.
It was really nice to see a softer side to Grimm in this chapter. I forgot that Myrtle would have been around, at the same time as them, and it almost caught me by surprise to see him comforting her, it almost made me feel sorry for Moaning Myrtle! I loved the scene that followed it, I thought it was going to be a typical conversation between the two, then he goes asks her if she hates him, then her falling over. There was so much action and drama, I almost couldnít deal with it all!
I loved the banter which ensued, with Grimm saying she must like him, if she falls at his feet, then him calling her darling, and trying to help her. It was so funny to watch, as you could sense that there was a lot of tension between them, with true feelings not being said, and McGonagallís embarrassment, you managed to convey so many emotions in that little scene, Iím still amazed by it all!
I never would have though Minerva would have been an object of gossip, but I do have to agree with the gossipers, they would be perfect together, thought I did feel bad for her, as Grimm was blatantly trying to provoke a reaction from them.
This chapter was perfect really, you amaze how you manage to draw me in so much, and fall in love with those two, I think itís because both characters are so unique, and rather different to most people, it draws me in!
-Kiana!Author's Response: Thank you for coming back so soon! Haha, I'm pleased to hear that you like that chapter image - it's been fun to remake them with the new style and face claims. ^_^
Grimm is an odd character and I'm not always sure how to write him in certain situations. He's changeable, but not in the way that he has a fast temper or bi-polarity. It's more that he wraps himself in multiple cloaks - he easily dons the role of serious academic/scientist, but he's also very sensitive, sometimes to a comical extent while at other times he's genuinely full of "feels". It means that he misses things, whether he's blind to them out of emotion or because he's obsessed by whatever logic problem he's working through. To this point, he's been like an older brother to Myrtle, trying to make her stronger and prove that she's a Ravenclaw.
It's fantastic to hear that the interactions between Grimm and Minerva turned out so well! I love writing them together because they compliment each other - a "sum of the parts is greater than the whole" kind of thing. There's a lot of tension that will never be resolved, yet they work so well together. Gah, I just love the dynamic they have and wish I knew how it came to be. It just appeared in "The Fires Within" and I've been building on it ever since. :D
Thank you again! Report Review
I have finally got around to reading this story, albeit the first chapter. If I knew this was based on The Fires Within, I would have come running much sooner, as I loved that story, and itís one of the first I ever read, and Grimm was such an awesome character, I canít wait for him to pop up again. Plus thereís Downton Abbey characters in your banner, which also makes me want to read it!
Even though itís been around 9 months since I read The Fires Within, Grimm still seems familiar as ever to me, and itís as if Iím greeting an old friend. I love Minerva and his interaction, you can tell that thereís some chemistry between the two, due to the humorous between them. Itís only been the first chapter, but youíve already got me shipping them!
I like Riddleís brief appearances and heís characterised really well. Youíve got his Ďyouíre all beneath meí, air down very well, and I would find it funny, if I didnít know what he did to those who he considered inferior to himself. I also liked that Umbridge has appeared, as this is only the second time Iíve seen her in a fan fiction, but I like it, and I canít wait to compare how she is at Hogwarts, to how she is in her later life.
McGonagallís a chaser in my story as well! We must be plot twins! I liked that though, as I always had her down as sporty, as her competitiveness we see in the books, canít have come from nowhere. I also liked how you made her different to the other girls, and how she seemed to naturally distance herself from there, due to not talking to them. Itís an interesting trait, and one that I havenít seen attributed to her before, so Iím eager to see how this may affect her in the future.
Grimm and McGonagall, remind me of James and Lily in a way, due to their constant bickering. I canít believe that Grimm called her darling though, I never would have thought I would hear him say that word though, and to say it to McGonagall, makes it even more shocking for me. I liked that McGonagall hit him though, I always imagined her as a feminist, and I guess thatís represented here.
I really like what youíve done with the head boy/girl clichť though, it just seems refreshed here, and rather than liking the fact that Tiberius was chosen, or seeing a sign that Minerva would grow to like him, it appears completely natural here, and itís just such a refreshing thing to read.
I thought this was an excellent first chapter, and I love McGonagall, as she just seems so independent here, and I love seeing Grimm again, except this is making me want to The Fires Within again, when I really should be going to sleep!
Expect to see me back soonish!
-Kiana :DAuthor's Response: Wow! That's all I can say about your reviews for this story. They're incredibly detailed, and I hope that I can come up with a sufficient response for each. If anything, these reviews are helping me put together the pieces of the story as I move toward its conclusion - I don't want to miss anything when writing the last few chapters. Thank you for reading and reviewing and for giving me the opportunity to revisit this story from its beginning. ^_^
It's wonderful that you see the connections between Grimm and Minerva here and their adult-selves in "The Fires Within". Although I've changed some of the details of their history (and future) as time has passed, this novel owes a lot to "Fires", giving me the opportunity to develop a pair of characters I might not have otherwise thought to write about. I'm also glad that you see them as "shippable" already. This story deals with the Head Boy / Head Girl romance cliche, so in some ways it follows the course of those stories - there are times when you could exchange Minerva's name for "Lily" and Grimm's name for "James" without altering the story. At the same time, this story plays with those cliches, and I hope that you enjoy how it does so. :D
In regard to Minerva's Quidditch abilities, she just seems to fit as a Chaser. I don't know what it is about her, but I like the idea of her always being on the move, the one to act and score the goals rather than defend against them. It's great to hear that I'm not the only one who's placed her in that position.
Her distance from the other female characters is actually giving me trouble now, as I realize that by limiting her interactions with other girls to Myrtle and Dolores, it only further alienates Minerva. Her only friends are Grimm and Moody, and it's like she can't find any common ground with other girls - I can't answer why that is, why there wouldn't seem to be another girl in Hogwarts who is Minerva's equal. In later chapters I'm trying to fix this, but it's definitely a weakness of the novel - not its plot, but rather in its portrayal of women.
Thank you again for reading and reviewing this story! I look forward to the rest of your reviews! ^_^ Report Review
Ah Susan! Why are you so perfect? :P I just finished reading up to Chapter 18 on Sunday, so for me, Chapter 19 came quickly! I'll go back and try to review as many chapters as I can ;)
But this chapter was brilliant! You can just sense the war outside the sheltered Hogwarts closing in, whilst the Chamber of Secrets within the 'safety' of the school takes its toll as well. I also liked how you stuck to canon, but, even though I know how this will end with Hagrid taking the blame, and Myrtle coming back as a ghost, you still surprise me along the way :D Your descriptions are beautiful as well, and they are a delight to read.Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing this chapter! I was surprised to see someone get to it so quickly, and it's fantastic to hear that you've read the whole story! *unintelligible squeeing*
It's a great relief that this chapter turned out well. I think I edited it five or six times before thinking that it was decent enough to post. There just seemed to be so much that needed including - everything will come together for the next chapter (which is likely the penultimate chapter). It was worthwhile sticking to canon, as much as I was tempted at times to throw up my hands and stop caring. It especially enhances the end of this chapter.
Thank you again for reading and reviewing, and also for your lovely compliments! It means a lot to hear from you! ^_^ Report Review
I cannot believe that it has taken me this long to discover this story! I have to say, I have been missing out- it's deliciously written, the characters are brilliant and realistic (Oh my, how do I express my love for Tiberius?) , and I absolutely adore how you captured the 40s society- I completely feel as if I've been transported back in time when I'm reading it ;)
I love 'This Longing' and you are a brilliant author and artist :D
AishaAuthor's Response: Wow, thank you! I'm surprised that you've found so much already in this first chapter that you like - it badly needs editing (then again, I'm insanely critical of my writing). However, it's great to hear that you've enjoyed the characters AND found them realistic. They're two of the most interesting characters I've written, especially with the way that they develop throughout this story, and I hope that you enjoy following this process as much as I have. :)
Thank you again for taking the time to read and review with such lovely compliments! Report Review
I decided to stop by as soon as I got the time and since yesterday was Christmas I was too busy getting fat and bumming around the house.
So, here I am a day after with your review for our swap! I hadn't forgotten about it, honest! D':
I have to be honest and say that I had a realy hard tim in deciding on what I wanted to read. I had no idea that you had so many stories, so many amazing looking stories that would take me forever to fangirl over! Argh! But anyway, I decided to read this because it sounded really interesting and plus, it has the future Professor McGonagall! I've never read a story like this before, especially with her as the main character. I always thought that she would be such a hard person to write for but you've described and added onto her so well that I'm loss for words. I don't think I could have done it. T-T
Loved the first paragraphs describing her too, I got a real sense of her as a character just from those sentences. It seems to stick with canon quite a bit but I'd sort of thought that she would have been looser as a student. Though, now, I can't really picture it. Hahha.
I really liked her interaction with Grimm as well, I think he's a great OC character. I got the feeling that they had past history together so maybe I'm reading a sequel? Either way, I love the chemistry between them, even if its reluctant on Minerva's side and treated as more of a joke on Grimms sometimes. Anyway, I really enjoyed seeing familiar names in the story as well, from Umbridge to, uhm, that kind fellow Tom Riddle (Shudder) and I think you blended them all very well. :D
Now, on to Grimm and Minerva! I'm really curious on their past history together, it seems like they have what might be a friendship or a little rivalry. The fact that he's different from Minerva really keeps their dynamics fresh, I liked reading her struggling with her feelings for him and her extreme dislike.
Perhaps that will show up again later?
At some point, Grimm made me wonder if he actually liked her a bit more than he let on but I wasn't able to be certain if he were just being a prat or just teasing.
I wasn't able to tell all the time except...he got jealous when she was talking to Dumbledore? Wasn't sure whether to laugh or shake my head at the accusation he gave her and I was really surprised that Minerva popped him one. I never would have expected that! :D
I'm enjoying this very much, I think its pretty darn fantastic and original so, amazing job! :D
I wish I could say something more witty but I think I've used up all my words. Hahaha.
Much love and see you on the forums!
GabbieAuthor's Response: Hi Gabbie! I've tried to respond to this one a few times, and it's always hard to figure out what to say! It's great to hear that you enjoyed this first chapter, though to me, it's not particularly reflective of how the plot develops - it's almost too conventional a beginning for these kind of stories, you know? So reading positive reviews of it make me feel incredibly guilty, like I'm leading readers down the garden path. XD It's horrible, but true.
When I first started writing Minerva, I also thought that she would be hard, but it turned out to be quite the opposite. She's too much like myself, and it was interesting to explore her character and give her this whole history (long before JKR released hers - I'm still angry at her for ruining my headcanon :P). She's become one of my favourite canon characters to write. It's absolutely wonderful that you like how she's written here!
This isn't a sequel at all. I've purposely started after the "beginning" because in "The Fires Within" I started at the very beginning of the character's story and it became a complete mess. There's a lot to be said for stories that start in medias res, forcing the readers to do more work to understand who the characters and where they're coming from. The events leading up to this story are hinted at throughout this story, but they're really unimportant to the overall plot, which gives both characters the opportunity to grow into their relationship (whatever it is... most of the time I don't know what it actually is). I'm really glad that you like their dynamics! What I wanted to do was test the boundaries of the love-hate relationship to show that, instead, these characters balance one another, like a ying and yang, each bringing different qualities to make a larger whole. :)
Thank you very much for reviewing this first chapter! I hope that you will continue reading, since it sounds as though you enjoyed it. It's one of my favourite stories to write, as frustrating as it can sometimes be. Report Review
Hi! I'm here with the review you requested (finally!). It's been quite a while since I've looked for this story... I'd been really busy with school and so I hadn't come back to HPFF until about a month ago. But I was really surprised and pleased to see that you remembered me from that gushing review I left on this story a couple of months ago. It really means a lot to me when people acknowledge that I left a review, especially when it happened a while back. :)
But on to the story-discussion part of the review.
Okay, as far as I'm concerned, you can do no wrong with this story. The emotions are all angsty and dark, but they havea good foundation; it isn't like they're there because you wanted to torture the characters, it's because the events evoked those emotions. This story has life, some kind of fire burning that creates all the conflicts and muddles of emotion, and even though it took a short break, it picked up perfectly right back where it needed to be. I'm really sorry, but you probably won't get any actual constructively critical thoughts from me in any review I leave on your stories. I'm a rookie at the art of fanfiction, and to me, this story is like an offering from the gods of Harry Potter (Merlin maybe? Or Dumbledore?).
Anyways, the way you tell this story is just brilliant. I loved how you introduced the really minor characters that show up sometimes in the books, such as Eileen Prince and Moaning Myrtle (before she moaned, of course). They fit so flawlessly into the stitching of the story that I don't even notice any seams on the sides. (Sorry, my autocorrect autocorrected a word, and so I made a goofy sewing metaphor-type thing.)
Probably my favorite thing abot the story is the time period that it's set in. The World Wars are a really good link to what was happening in the Wizarding World at this time. Tiberius' drafting issue only added more to the plot, and it makes me really sad that he's going to have to give everything he loves up to fight in strange and dangerous places.
Your diction and syntax are super amazing. I sometimes re-read parts of this chapter over a few times, because the words fit together so well. Every word fits the tone and the mood of the story; not a one is out of place. The metaphors that you used were very... Gutsy. That is to say, they had tons of meaning. Nothing was arbitrary, and I think that's a lot of people's problems in fanfiction: they don't know how NOT to be arbitrary, myself being no exception. Do you teach writing classes on the forums? You probably should. I would be the first to sign up for that class. :)
Lastly, though I'm sure there's stuff I've left out, I lovable you get inside the characters' heads. I often enjoy stories where the innermost thoughts are in parentheses or italics, like Stephen King often does. (I read a lot of his books, and I know and enjoy the style.) However, you have this awesome magical power of showing the inner workings of the mind without parentheses or fancy little tricks. It certainly clicks in with the style of your story, and I'm sure you've developed so many characters over the years that you know at least a part of what makes them who they are on the inside (though I won't presume you know absolutely everything... Stories are always writing themselves if you don't watch them closely enough).
That's all I'm going to gabble on about for now. No rush, but PLEASE get the next chapter out soon. I would be more than happy to review it again, if you don't mind overly sappy, praising reviews like this one.
Thank you for requesting a review and alerting me to the continuation of this marvelous story! I really do look forward to reading the next chapter... And the next... And...
Okay, I'll stop blabbering now.
~UnluckyStar57 :)Author's Response: Wow. Just wow. I really don't know how to respond to this because, inside, I'm running around squeeing and that really doesn't translate well into a good review response, does it? This is a wonderfully kind review that is inspiring me to push through the next chapter, and probably through the rest of the novel as well. I can't thank you enough for that!
It's interesting what you said about your previous review, but maybe it's because I take the reviews I get a little too seriously (it's the desperation, I guess). It means a lot to me to receive any reviews, and I like to keep track of who is reading and what they're saying - it's the best part of posting online in this way. Stories become a dialogue rather than just a text that you read and put away again. Readers and writers can shape each other... and I'll stop before I turn either gushy or philosophical (neither is advisable).
The rest of my response is accompanied by furious blushing, especially at the thought that I could do no wrong with this story. I'm not sure that I don't spend my time purposely torturing the characters, but I do try to give that torture a plausible reason - in this story's case, both the events with Riddle and WWII create such an atmosphere and circumstances that it's been hard to break up the dark angst/drama with lighter scenes. I love your description of the fire burning in the background - there is that kind of emotion behind everything going on in the story, and maybe that's why it's so different from other things I've been working on. It has a particular quality to it that makes it a treat for me to come back to, again and again.
However, it is your compliment of the language and syntax is the one that sends me into rapturous squees. I obsess over things sounding right, and lately I've been changing words and the organization of sentences just so that they end on the right kind of syllables. I'm incredibly pleased to hear that this isn't just a crazy thing, but it's instead enhancing the story. When it comes to metaphors, I probably use far too many, and even more that are far too weird. Gutsy sounds much better than weird. :D I'm not always sure where those metaphors come from, otherwise I'd be happy to share. A lot of it probably has to do with possessing a wild imagination that hasn't matured much beyond the monsters in the closet stage. But it's important to not just have pretty images, but make them apply to the character, plot, or setting in some way. The types of images associated with a particular character can be used to show aspects of their personality and background that wouldn't normally come out in the story.
I have a weakness for third person limited and its more extreme state of free indirect discourse, which is like first person without the "I". It brings me closer to the characters, though this is the only one where I've done it successfully with more than one character. Though characters often surprise me with things about themselves that I never knew - a lot of times it's like they're real people, and it's scary.
So I'll go finish off the new chapter before I keep rambling on here. Thank you again for this fantabulous review! I'm very glad to have caught a spot in your reviewing queue. ^_^ Report Review
Hi there! So I came across your story when I was looking for something new to read. I really like this so far. I really love stories set in this time and this makes me like it even more. It's extremely well written and it's got me hooked already. I can't wait to read more!Author's Response: Yay! This is great to hear! I'm very glad that you've enjoyed this first chapter and look forward to seeing your opinions on the rest. :D
It is an interesting time period, and I wish that more authors would take it on, particularly without focusing on Tom Riddle. There's a lot of history to work with in this story, which is why I love writing about it. Report Review
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