Nice first chapter, but I think the sentences are a bit to snappy and factual, such as the first one :Ginny Potter 24... I think I get what you mean, but it needs a bit more description. Nice cliffhanger, I can't wait to read the next chapter!

Author's Response: thanks for the advice

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GREAT CHAPTER UPDATE SOON PLZ
10/10

Author's Response: thanks i fell so bad i've been so busy i haven't had time to write

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I like it alot! *adds to favorites*

Author's Response: thanks :D :D :D :D :D

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well it's pretty good, the start, but your punctuation could use some tuning up...no offense

Author's Response: thanks

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The story is not bad, however you should make your quotations a little more prominent by putting them in the next line; this makes it more convenient for the reader.

Author's Response: great tip thanks

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Hey! I love it. I love this banner. Is Harry going to be ok? How many chapters are u in this? 100-100! Jackie. hugs kiss UPDATE R.S.P.

Author's Response: i 'm not giving anything away i don't know how many chapters though i will do an epilogue either way

i made the banner :D

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not bad. it's apparated, not apperated. just a side note. alittle bit repetitious, maybe try to come up with different 'names' for characters, and not say said as much, maybe sighed, or cried, or shouted.just more variety. over all not bad.

Author's Response: thanks I'll look at it first review thanks

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