I am absolutely loving this novella. It's seriously original and imaginative and i love the pastiche of HP and old gangster movies. The combination works really well and you have adapted your langauge sucessfully without detracting from the original tone of the HP books. The 'gangster' characters are not simply generic literary characters with the same names as those in HP, you really get the feeling that they are an extension of the original Harry, Ron and Hermione etc. My only criticism is that sometimes the language is a little confused and doesn't run parallel with the classic gangster theme. You seem to want to draw from the classic american gangster film noir, whilst also setting the story in london. This is achievable, however, you need to decide how far into the gangster/femme fatale/film noir theme you want to go. For it to work i think the language needs to be adapted slightly, eliminating the typically english slang such as 'mate' which doesn't work alongside the gangster theme. Some of the dialogue is spoken with an english cockney feel, and some of the prose uses predominantly british phrases. This type of language should be adapted so that it reinforces the 1940s gangster theme, as it is at the moment the english slang language style kind of detracts from it. Don't get me wrong though, i do love this idea. It's so different from everything else!Author's Response: I started out with the ol' "Sam Spade/Maltese Falcon" style because...well I kinda like those beginnings. But the story DOES revert back to the HP "magic" universe as it should.
This fanfic was an exercise in reawakening my dream of being a published author. This is why every MOOD I felt comfortable with writing about was in this fanfic. As many can tell, I love adventure and comedy but love romance as well. While some female readers may have wanted more of the romantic aspect, I felt it was best to keep a balance between action/comedy and romance so as not to get too sappy.
Besides...most sappy romances don't make the most fun reads. :-)
This is probably my favourite chapter so far. I loved that Harry, Ron, Ginny etc finally remembered Hermione and that Zacharias wore 'panties' as Dean called them. I also loved loved loved that you mentioned Northern Ireland, as I'm from there.Author's Response: The classic rivalries did lend themselves readily to the storyline, especially it's humorous side. But it's all in good fun. And I'm sure you'll love the growing bonds of friendship as it wears on. Report Review
A strange idea having a sort of gangster theme to Harry Potter!Author's Response: That's how it starts....but not how it finishes. Be prepared for action on a magical level the Harry Potter universe is famous for. Report Review
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