You are an amazing writer! Thank you so much!!! Report Review
OMG! Harry is Draco??? But why???
i really did not expect that and i love your plot, it is so exciting and different from other fanfics.
thank you, i enjoy reading your story so much Report Review
You deceptive girl!!! All along, it was Harry! What a twist. Oh, I love fanfiction. Well done, it was fantastic! Report Review
Firstly, I have to say, after reading this chapter, my mouth was open and my eyes wide. And all I could think was "Oh my god. Oh my god," over and over again. I. Love. This. Story.
Two things I noticed:
"Every part of him…every pore and every inch of his skin felt as though it wasn’t a part of him." I did not like the structure of this sentence, simply because you are repeating "part of him", making it feel a bit... uncomfortable to read that sentence. I'm not completely sure what you should do with it, other than removing one of your "part of him", perhaps you could write "Every part of him... every pore and every inch of his skin felt as though it did not belong to him anymore." Something like that.
And then you have a small typo, line 8 word 4 of the first paragraph with Victorie. You wrote "Victorie Wesley". Of course I know it is a typo, just thought I should let you know ^^,
Other than that, brilliant chapter! I love how you are taking your time with this, explaining and developing Teddy's... 'virus'. You write his emotions so good, I really feel like smiling widely when I read this. Not because it's so cheery, but because it's a long time since I read a HP fic filled with so much emotions and... agony. And Merlin knows I love agony!
Your structure is perfect, the flow is wonderful, and everything is just... amazing. I want you to know I'm now saving this to favourites, and I am pretty amazed by the fact that I'm only at chapter three when I do it.
One question, Teddy is supposed to be nineteen here, right? No worries, you are good with his age, I just wanted to make sure.
Keep up the good work!
PadfootyAuthor's Response: Thank you for letting me know about the edits. I do appreciate it. I'm glad that you're enjoying the story. I had a lot of fun writing it. Teddy is supposed to have graduated Hogwarts so 19 sounds about right. Thanks so much for reviewing Padfooty. I appreciate it. Report Review
Wow. That is probably one of the most compelling stories I have read on this site. It was fabulous!!! Sooo many twists and turns. Just when you think you know whats going to happen...something completely different does. And here i thought halfway through I could never think of Draco the same again...instead he did rise up! Again, great story. You are a fantastic writer. Keep it up!!! I'm looking forward to more!!! Report Review
Oh wow! I couldn't keep away from the story after I read that wonderful first chapter of yours, and this one did surely not disappoint!
I can't find any grammar errors, not even a single typo in your text, and it delights me! Nothing is more annoying than a text full of errors, it ruins the flow. But your flow is wonderful! You put some speaking in here and there, not too much and yet not too little. Normally, I would have wanted more speaking in a story with this many words, but it is not necessary at all!
I love how you put Luna's madness into all of this. It is like you are saying that she is mad, but only to the ignorant world. In reality, she is there, and she knows. Wonderful!
Your characterisations are wonderful, your descriptions and emotions are breathtaking! I truly love this story, and by chapter three, I'm sure it will be found in my favourites.
I hope you don't mind that I review some of the shorter stories first, so I can take my time with reviewing rest of this one, because it is magnificent!
Padfooty Report Review
I'm sorry I'm so late! And now when I have read the story, I'm really sorry for my own sake that I didn't come earlier.
This story... is so deep, so greatly written and so intriguing, I don't think I have breath left in my lungs. You write so well, I can't say how well you write without using loads of capital letters and !'s. But I won't, since it will look terrifying.
I don't know what your plot is yet, except Draco being the new Dark Lord and all these terrible things happening, but I sure am looking forward to reading more. This opening chapter was great, heartbreaking and really dark. I completely _adore_ it!
I could only find one mistake, which was that you wrote "Occulumens". it is called "Occlumency", but it is an error I take for being a typo, and, really, I could find nothing else. The sentence structure is wonderful, the grammar, everything is perfect, and I can't say how thankful I am for this, I have recently read loads of stories where I have to fight through a mass of grammatical errors.
Your characterisations are as breathtaking as your descriptions and how you take your time. You really made my heart beat wildly in my chest throughout the whole of the story, and the lyrics put in between is perfect! I don't think the story would work without, it adds great mystery/desperation/darkness, works very well with the text and flows greatly.
All in all, there's nothing bad I can say about it. Nothing. I'm on the edge of putting this story to my favourites already, but I have a policy of never judging a story by it's first chapter. Oh well, I'm 99,9% sure that you will be able to keep it up in the same manner!
Keep up the good work!
Padfooty Report Review
soz but theres only one word to sum this up
MADNESS Report Review
I'm glad to see Harry die. I never thought I would say that but...yanno. I feel so sorry for what Teddy is about to go through. I hope he does not envoke the cruelty that Harry did and fights it or atleast does something to stop it even if he has to kill himself. I'm glad Draco and Hermione could do what they had to when the time came and Blaise for being there for Her and Rose. Funny how some people become what they hate the most. Report Review
Okay, I hate to start negative, but I just saw one minor thing. It's a common mistake, but in the first paragraph you wrote revert back. Revert means back, so it's kind of like you're saying back back. It's just like when people say they're going to an atm machine - it's done quite often.
Anyways, besides that I just loved this! You wrote such an amazing story and wow, I really loved this. This ending was awesome as well! For a second I thought it was going to turn out badly with everyone dying and Harry taking over. I'm so glad it wasn't like that.
But you had me in tears with that conversation of Harry and his parents.. of him realizing his mistakes. They'll never see him... In death all you will see is nothingness. That was just powerful. Amazingly done. Amazingly written.
This was just such a wonderful take on life past DHs and even the epilogue. I liked the tragic touch to it, and I feel like such a horrible person for liking it like that. It just shows a little more realism, I guess the hero being overwhelmed and succumbing to evilness. This was great. You should definitely write more OOYR. :)
I'm pretty sad now that this is over. I guess I'll have to find another one of your stories to get addicted to, though you have quite a selection to chose from. Great story! You know I love your work! Report Review
Oh my god. This was fabulous. Absolutely fabulous and brilliant and stunningly original. I loved it! 10/10 Report Review
Wow! I'm still shocked that Harry was behind it all. I think I can understand it all though. I think I'm actually intrigued in a bad Harry. This worked out well and I'm disappointed that there's only one more chapter left. Poor Teddy.. poor everyone. I really love this story and I'm looking forward to reading the end. I honestly have no clue what's going to happen at this point. :) Report Review
Awesome chapter once again. I really like Scorpius and Teddy in this. I'd write more, but I'm off to read the next one now. :) great chapter! Report Review
Woah is all I can say. I'm still not sure how to take in
" Dark Harry " It does make sense that it could happen though. I can't wait to see how it all turns out in some sick twisted way. You have written it wonderfully I could never of done it. ! Report Review
I'm so loving this story. I love the twist and turns! Amazing writing! Please update soon! Report Review
Once again, an amazing chapter. I love your prose - it's so descriptive, and the imagery you use brings it to life.
One small detail, which I just couldn't let go - Draco would be the Patriarch, not the Matriarch - Matriarch is for the female head of a household, and I'm quite sure you weren't trying to insinuate that Draco was a girl... :)
Update soon, this is such a great story!! Report Review
AHH! I'm on my toes! Write fast please! Report Review
How does Draco play into this then? Report Review
how good is this story, seriously
ugh, im so envious of u
i wish my story was this gd, Report Review
The story thus far is very compelling and I really liked the thought of Draco being some badass Voldermort wannabe is awesome, but I honestly don't think that Harry could ever do something that awful. Ill admit it gave me a good "huh?" when i read it. Do keep going, Im anxious to know whats going to happen next. Report Review
It's so... Horror filled. So creepy. Report Review
Oh, woah. That was amazing. Who was it in the second one? That was really good. I have to writing so I can continue reading. Good job! 10/10. Report Review
OMG!!! I have just finished with the story so far, I fund two days ago. I can't believe it. Its the best horror I have ever read. Please tell there is more still to come. Report Review
oh my god..
Please update! I wanna hear Harry's sadistic plans.
-Mia Report Review
*gasps and jiggles with excitment* What a twist!! Didn't see this one coming. Genius :D Report Review
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