hey ive been reading ur story
its fantasic writing... is every chapter gunna be in a different person pov? ive never read a story like that... thats very cool

10/10

kira

Author's Response: thank you very much ^_^ and yes it is going to be in a different Point of View per chapter, the last two MIGHT be in the main two girls, but I haven;t quite decided yet... so yeah ^_^

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Awww, I love Celestial's loyalty to Liela.
Update soon!

Author's Response: haha, yeah Celest is a very passionate sister, but all the same knows when to have fun, lol

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the one she calls Teddy for some unknown reason. A sneaking glance tells me she still has and is being scolded for trying to feed it pudding.

i dont want o be rude because i feel like this story has great potential but that line made her sound like she was a five year old, not innocent. I think there's a difference between innocent and young, which is really what your summary talks about. i dont want to be too judmental since ive never posted a fan fic before but this could be better if you edited a little more. especially with the typos and just making sure that it doesn't sound like she's really stupid.

Author's Response: no, no it's fine I understand where you're coming from and I really should edit the story since my writing has improved since then :lol: But with Liela, she really is quite oblivious to the surrounding world, and 'innocent' so to speak is a lot like a 'Five year old' because she doesn't quite grasp the fact that there's war and death happening around her, or that girl like boys, she doesn't want to understand either... if that makes any sense.

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Excellent! I love it! Just curious, but what year are Liela and Celest in?

Author's Response: Seventh, yeah i should of mentioned that eh?

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swet that was great but i dont get way liela is so chiledesh please update soon

Author's Response: Ah, I have a very good reason for that, and I will ;put it in soon, thank you ^_^

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oooh thigs are starting to move along.
i still love this story and it was a great chapter =]

Author's Response: thank you, I am getting into the swing of writing this

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Poor, little Lielabelle. So naive.

I really like this story! It's different.

Author's Response: Thank you.
I wanted a different story, f course I'm not sure if it's as unique as I first had thought it could be, but I hope it will end differenty.
And yeah, s I write on it'll explain more about Lielabelle's Naive-ness

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Awww that was nice.
I'm so happy to have an update =]
Andomeda is cute =]
love it

x

Author's Response: thank you, I'm trying very hard to make sure the timeline is correct, I wasn't sure what happened first so yeah...
now that I think about it Andromeda should be older XD
oh well a slight difference won't matter much

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Lielabelle. Lielabelle. Gosh that's a pretty name, it's one of those words that has every pretty letter, all smished up together to be well, pretty, I suppose XD

So far, it seems very sweet. I'm really intrigued by your two girls, it's a different idea (and I always love those). I've really enjoyed this first chapter, there a a few typos and such, I won't name them all...I think a quick read through should make them obvious to you :) Just little things like "Liela look(ed) at h(e)r father"

All in all, good job!
Eylia

Author's Response: oh I guess my sell ceck isn't as good as it should be eh? Thanks for telling me. I came up with the name Lielabelle after Isabelle, which I find cute and Liela which is sophisticated in it's own way.


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Can't wait for it to get going.
I'll be keeping a close eye on this, I have a good feeling about it.
=]
Astoria
x

Author's Response: thank you, don't worry I'm writting the next chapter now, it'll be a bit, because I need o captured this person's POV perfectly.

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