Reading Reviews for Happily Ever After
  
42 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Laughing_My_Tail_Of Bill & Fleur

22nd August 2009:
I loved it !! :D so cute !

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Review #2, by sarah Remus & Tonks

1st August 2009:
not years...more like weeks:(

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Review #3, by Rachel Remus & Tonks

19th May 2009:
What a lovely set of stories! The only thing I do wish is that you would have included Remus and Tonks' wedding because we don't get that in the books. Oh well. It was terrific!

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Review #4, by Bumblebeelvssirus Remus & Tonks

6th January 2009:
OMG! All of these stories are the sweetest and some of the saddest ever! Thanx so so so much!

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Review #5, by hermioneism Remus & Tonks

26th December 2008:
Wonderful set of glimpses into these characters' lives. :) I thoroughly enjoyed reading them.

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Review #6, by Orchid Ron & Hermione

25th November 2008:
Aw!! I love fluff..:) I love the way you've written their characters, and i love the baby bit, how Ron was so convinced it was a boy! x

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Review #7, by fredsdeadboohoo12 Ron & Hermione

19th May 2008:
um, ok that was a little bit, um, ok. Ron was kinda weird but still when he said he was shopping all day i thought he was going to say that HE was preg-WAIT! No that sounds wrong so im not going to say that. missing moments are mysterious and i don't know how but they are. i don't make any sense!

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Review #8, by Weasleys Forever Remus & Tonks

13th April 2008:
Lovely! So sad at the end as we know what lies in store for them both. This piece really captures both characters so well.

I love your writing.

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Review #9, by Weasleys Forever Bill & Fleur

13th April 2008:
Wonderful. Finally someone who can write Fleur's accent so it is believable. A really lovely piece.

Beautifully written.

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Review #10, by Weasleys Forever Ron & Hermione

13th April 2008:
Lovely piece. Beautifully written. The excitement of a Weasley girl.

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Review #11, by No_1_pottergrl Ron & Hermione

24th March 2008:
Cute! Loved it! Can't wait to read what is next!

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Review #12, by weasley_gang Ron & Hermione

23rd January 2008:
aww!!

i ALWAYS cry whenever i read about fred's death!!!

he was ALWAYS the best weasley to me!!

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Review #13, by Luna Longbottom Remus & Tonks

31st December 2007:
I love love this chapter. I really love the end, "Only nine more to go."

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Review #14, by Luna Longbottom Bill & Fleur

31st December 2007:
I love this chapter as well, I think it is not very well explored how Bill and Fleur got together.

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Review #15, by Luna Longbottom Ron & Hermione

31st December 2007:
I love this chapter, I really love the Victor Hugo thing.

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Review #16, by jkr_lover Remus & Tonks

22nd December 2007:
Oh, this whole story is adorably cute! I cryed during this one though, it was so sweet! Great job with the story, I really enjoyed it!

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Review #17, by jkr_lover Bill & Fleur

22nd December 2007:
Oh, this one was very sweet too! You are doing a very good job, let's see how the last one is...

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Review #18, by jkr_lover Ron & Hermione

22nd December 2007:
Oh, how sweet! This is a good fill-in, let's see how the other three are...

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Review #19, by Rayless Night Bill & Fleur

10th December 2007:
I stand by my original statement: you're one of the best writers on this site. I'm also happy to see that you're mature and friendly when dealing with concrit (which I know firsthand is not always fun to receive).

I'm replying in this review because of some good points you raised, and I feel my critique would be incomplete without addressing them.

You said: Most of what you say has to do with personal opinions

Probably true. ;) They're two of my favorite characters, and I've written a 41 chapter fic about them. On one hand, I do have my personal characterizations of them in mind, though I try to keep that separate from reviewing other people - as you point out, everyone has their different views of characters. And, let's face it, some people's characterizations of them I like better than my own.

You said: I think at this point, Fleur is already in love with Bill and wants to spend all her time with him;

Okay, perfectly fine.

You said: she is also a practical person in my mind, and, as I wrote, why spend money on a shabby little room when she can be with Bill in his appartment?

Here I see a problem. Living with someone who you hardly know is the opposite of practicality. Fleur goes from being entirely independent to being dependent on living space with Bill. She's lost the autonomy of living on her own, being beholden to no one; if they break up, she has nowhere to go; plus, she's opened herself to the risk of STDs or pregnancy with a man she barely knows. For practical people, living together requires trust and security to already be in place.

However, it *is* in line with your first statement about Fleur wanting to spend all her time with Bill; as it stands, she sounds extremely lonely, needy and romantic, not practical. Which works fine as a characterization of Fleur. This is just a heads up to show where your writing is inconsistent.

You said: And how can she be absolutely sure that he loves him anyway if she hasn't tried living with him?

Aw, no, don't say that! Be unique! That's the fun of being as good a writer as you are!

Plus - and this one just occurred to me - an interesting plot point your story omits is how Bill manages to hide his involvement with the Order from her while they're living together. Remember, he is spending long, long hours spying, guarding Harry and gathering information. Isn't Fleur suspicious?

Noticed this too: in the final scene, Fleur would not call Bill cheri (it's feminine); she would call him cher.

You said: As to your criticism of my ending, again, I disagree. I find it neither "cheap writing", nor "unrealistic", nor "boring".

Here is the specific line that bothers me: "Suddenly everything seemed in place. The future was clear..." First of all, it's too stated; it's "told", not "shown", so it lacks resonance for me. Secondly, I still feel it's too idealized. Yes, you're right, you don't need to show all their arguments - and we know they're going to be together - but neither is a reason to trade realism. One reason love is so interesting, why people obsess about it, is because it starts off so tenuous. And even when it is firm and life-long, you don't always know at first. My dislike of that line is an opinion, but it's not one without thought and reasoning behind it. After the great buildup, I feel it's too black and white.

Again, I hope my critiques are useful to you. My goal isn't to be annoying by nitpicking, it's to point out any areas that I think are rough and unpolished. Even if you don't agree with what I say, I hope I've been helpful in letting you study your writing from a stranger's viewpoint. Thanks for hearing me out, and best of luck in your writing.

Author's Response: Again, thank you for a long review with plenty of constructive criticism. I must stand by my original statement, however, and say that most of your reply is based on your personal opinion, and I have no right to challenge it; so even if I do not agree with you, I can accept the fact that you view Fleur differently than I do.

You said: "Living with someone who you hardly know is the opposite of practicality. Fleur goes from being entirely independent to being dependent on living space with Bill. She's lost the autonomy of living on her own, being beholden to no one; if they break up, she has nowhere to go; plus, she's opened herself to the risk of STDs or pregnancy with a man she barely knows. For practical people, living together requires trust and security to already be in place."

First of all, Fleur is going back to France in September. Nothing is keeping her with Bill. She can easily quit her job at Gringotts, pack up and leave, or if not, get her shabby room back. You seem to create a contrast between being practical and being in love - I assure you, a person can be both, and I remain certain that both Bill and Fleur are way too responsible to neglect security and trust.

As for Fleur living with Bill to test their love not being "unique"; I would rather be realistic than unique, and it is my firm belief that a couple should definitely try living together before qualifying their relationship as serious - how else could Fleur possibly convince herself to settle down in England?

Your idea about Bill being in the Order, I must admit is intriguing, and I did neglect that.

The rest of your review is too personal for me to truly argue with. You do not like the ending and I have already told you why I wrote it; thank you nonetheless for giving further reasons.

The only point where I can show that you are wrong is here; you said: "in the final scene, Fleur would not call Bill cheri (it's feminine); she would call him cher." The masculine of "darling" in French, is "cheri"; the feminine is "cherie"; the masculine of "dear" in French is "cher"; the feminine is "chère". Please take this from someone who is fluent in French and has been so since birth.

Again, thank you for taking the time to review; it is much appreciated. Good luck to you too with your writing!


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Review #20, by fantacular_pandemonium Remus & Tonks

7th December 2007:
AH! All three stories were REALLY good! I loved them!

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Review #21, by avani1230 Remus & Tonks

25th November 2007:
AW!!! i liked it, cute! job well done!! =]

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Review #22, by avani1230 Bill & Fleur

25th November 2007:
CUTE!!! i love it!! great job! =]

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Review #23, by avani1230 Ron & Hermione

25th November 2007:
AWW! too cute! i liked it alot!! =]

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Review #24, by quidditch77 Remus & Tonks

20th November 2007:
Ok first of all...I must say that I am so glad someone finally writes about how Remus and Sirius were close...I know this is a Remus/Tonks romance..but that is one thing that annoyed me in the books (and in fanfiction), no one really shows how Remus was affected and it didnt even seem like they were that close. I dont know..sorry for the rambling that makes no sense.
But yes..I liked this chapter too (maybe not as much as Ron and Hermione)..but this was so darling.
And the last line..talk about a punch in the gut. His story is just so tragic...he is a werewolf, but he gets 3 best friends that he loves, then he is blamed for being the spy and is outcasted, then he loses one of his best friends (well he thinks two because of Peter also, well and 3 because he believes Sirius was never really any of their friends), then he gets Sirius back and finds the love of his life- Tonks (someone who will love him no matter what he is), loses Sirius, then just as his life is perfect he dies. I mean..I'm glad he got to die with Tonks...but its just all so tragic..makes me want to cry. Thinking about the mauraders in general is sad because of all they went through...but ANYWAY..what I am trying to say is that I'm glad you caught Remus's emotions perfectly and you wrote him so well. I loved it.
-quidditch77

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Review #25, by quidditch77 Ron & Hermione

20th November 2007:
Oh goodness...here I am crying happy tears and I can't even begin to praise you for this amazing story. Wow...from the very beginning of Hermione helping Ron get through his greif...to Ron asking Hermione to marry him in the cutest way possible, and to Ron being excited to have a girl Weasley hehe...it was PERFECT. I can't praise this story and your writing enough. It was all just...wow...definitely the way I imagined it...only better! And wow...hehe..I should just stop rambling now- but yes- talk about beyond amazing story...this is definitely going in my favorites, I love it.
My three favorite lines:
(Emotions were clashing; grief, guilt, happiness, love. It was a battle, but neither one of them cared. Ron kissed her again, more gently this time, and yet she still gasped at the intensity of it, of their feelings.)
(You're already my wife to me; become my wife to all others as well?')
(kissing her more fervently than he had ever done before, the love for his wife completely overcoming the fear and excitement of becoming a parent.)
-quidditch77


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