Good job it could have been more romantic though Report Review
So many mixed reviews. But I really liked your story. It's simply and sweet.
You just keep on writing as practice makes perfect. The point of doing your own version is putting out there a different prospective of a familiar theme.
But the critiquing by the others is good also. Lets you see what needs work. And that was so long ago too. I bet you've improved now.
I love Ron and Hermione. :-) I'm so glad that JK Rowling had them work out forever!Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing. As for the improving I doubt it lol. I just now got my account back after 2 years of not writing anything so i'm still rusty. I love constructive criticism. It does help me as an author to improve my weak spots. I decided the 1st thing to do now i'm back is to go over all my stories and fix additional errors that I find.
Again thank you for leaving a review and i'm glad you liked it =]
~~~blackthoughtsredwriting~~~ Report Review
Hmmm... This is quite good, except some of the dialogue was bit touchy for me (Its hard to explain, but overall it was very good.) Short but I like it. xDAuthor's Response: I was never much good with dialogue. lol. It's probably my biggest setback. I'm glad you like it and took time to read and review =] Report Review
arr that was so cute! when they were both like, " well I like this person..." and then they were talking about each other! and then ron was like, "I just did" it was a squeal moment! i like it as well when hes saying about hes never noticed, because i think maybe sometimes that is the case because of course Harry is the chosen one!
loved it!Author's Response: Wow thank you =] I'm glad you loved it. My first fluff story. I don't like fluff to much. But I try and write stories of all kinds. I like to know my stories are appreciated. Thank you again =] Report Review
Omg, I'm in heaven! This story is incredible. I love it so much! Author's Response: Why thank you. I appreciate your review. I appreciate it so much that when I have time, I will review some of your stuff =] Report Review
Very good story!Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you think so. Report Review
BRAVO! i really did like it it was AWESOME!!!Author's Response: Thank you so much. Your review means a lot. I'm glad you liked it =] Report Review
This kinda reminds me of an foward I've gotten, I LOVE it!
30/10Author's Response: Oh thank you. I'm glad you liked it. =] Report Review
I think you might need to get a beta-reader, I found quite a lot of grammatical errors. They were all missing words, commas and question marks. Also, while I'm all for Ron being jealous of Harry, I think it was a bit over done here and came across as whiney. On the upside though, the ending was nice. Since the majority of the fic was dialogue it was a nice change to be able to get a visual. Author's Response: Oh yes my spelling and punctuation keeps getting worse and worse. Maybe that's why I failed English I. Haha. Anyways, I know this story is a little whiney, but it's my story and anything can happen in my story, not trying to sound rude or anything. I'm glad that you liked the ending. I'm very good at creating dialogue, just not punctuating it. Haha. Thank you for the review =] Report Review
While Ron/Hermione is my favorite ship, I don't know if I was completely feelin' this one. I felt that it was a bit dialogue-prominent. Try to incorporate more description to have a nice balance between dialogue and description. It's much more enjoyable and easy to read.
I think this was really cute, but I've seen it done before. It takes a lot of time and thought, and if your story is posted later rather than sooner due to planning, it will be a small price to pay. Your characters came across as a tad immature to me. For example, I couldn't really believe that Ron would be so hung-up about how Harry is so popular and he isn't. It seemed a bit whiny to me. I just think Ron would have brought it up with Hermione a little more tactfully or tastefully.
The emotion wasn't very apparent to me, only because you had a lot of dialogue. It's hard to show emotion with just dialogue. Actually, I don't think it's possible. You had a little bit of emotion, but not enough that made me really feel it. Try to draw it out as long as you can. Adjectives are your friend.
Overall, I thought this was a really cute idea. Keep up the good work and have fun ^_^
.:.Midna.:.Author's Response: Ok as soon as I don't have any more chapters to post on here I will go back and rewrite this one and add some more to it. I'll try to add more description but I don't know how much more I can do to this story. As I said before Ron being jealous of Harry has happened before and I don't think this is not normal for it to happen in my story although I do admit that
I need to add more descriptive deatil and less dialogue. Thank you for the review. I will keep what you said in my mind when I go to rewrite this one =] Report Review
aw it was so cute! brill job! :]
-nora.Author's Response: Why thank you =] I'm glad you liked it Report Review
Hmm... okay, so I thought the ending was incredibly cute! Yay, for Hermione and Ron!
I'm not sure I liked the beginning though. It just seemed OOC for Ron to be so depressed over Harry. Sure, at times he was unhappy about being below Harry, but I don't think he would ever become depressed about it like that. Even if he did, I don't think he'd admit it to Hermione. So anyways, if you could think of a different problem that Hermione could sort out, I think that would work out much better.
There were some spelling and grammar issues. You should probably read over it again and you'd be able to catch most of them. Some of your sentences didn't work out completely, and they didn't flow too well. You might also want to add a little more description in.
Besides that it was pretty good! Great job!Author's Response: Hm yes incredibly cute it was. Ron being depressed over Harry is something that's happened before. Remeber in the Goblet of Fire they stopped being friends for awhile because of it so I don't think that anything is wrong there. Spelling and grammar is not my best stuff I admit. I'm just putting all my stories on here and then getting a beta and doing them all at the same time. I'll rewrite some or most of my stories when I don't have more chapters to post up here for awhile. thank you for the lovely review =] Report Review
That was really cute.Author's Response: Why thank you. =] Glad you liked it. Report Review
Brilliant. I love Ron and Hermione--they are every stubborn couple that I've ever known. You portrayed them beautifully here. Well done. :)Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. I think that you're exactly right. =] Report Review
Awww! I loved that, that was so sweet and perfect. Good job!Author's Response: =] I like people who like my stories. It makes me feel that I'm actually a good writer. Thanks. Report Review
excellent! loved it nice job!Author's Response: Oh thank you so much. If you want you can check out my other stories. =]. Thanks for the review. Report Review
this is xcellent Author's Response: Thank you!! =] Report Review
Cute =] I love Ron's little "I just did" line. It was adorable!
TN1~Author's Response: Yes. I liked writing this story. It was a little to fluff for me, but I managed it well I guess. Thank you for reviewing. =] Report Review
That was so incredibly smother-you-with-a-big-comfy-blanky cute with puppies and bunnies and ducks but not kittens because they scratch. I LOVE IT!!! ^_^Author's Response: Haha. Randomness. I love it. I'm glad you liked my story. Thank you so much for reviewing. =] Report Review
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