It was really good. Keep up the good work. And please, update soon! Ha ha, its really nice. It also has an interesting plot so I am really lookking frwrd to the next chappie.
10/10

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I agree with the reviewer that you should have had more of a dramatic buildup to the party and development of events during the party and also feel that you should consider revising the story

They've only been married a few weeks and Ginny is already cheating on him? And with Goyle, former Malfoy crony, member of Umbridge's inquisitorial squad and Death Eater lite? That she didn't enjoy it is meaningless. Being drunk is also a weak excuse because she was still conscious and chose to go with Goyle although by her own admission she knew it was wrong at the time. And now she's pregnant and Goyle doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to Harry (very different body build, facial structure, hair texture and color) so there would be little chance that she could pass the child off as his.

You've created a scenario which few marriages would survive. It will take a lot of work, mostly by Ginny, to try to keep the marriage from falling apart, and I don't think that she would get much support or sympathy from Ron or Hermione. Not only would neither of them have fond memories of Goyle, but after being together on the horcrux hunt, the bonds of loyalty and friendship among the Trio would be so strong that an injury to one would be regarded as an injury to all.

Looking forward to see how you handle the issues.


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It has great potential, I hope you don't mind constructive criticism. But you could probably slow it down a little. The story started, and before I knew it, it was over. You could probably fix this by giving more detail. Like what their house looks like, umm...maybe give more of Ginny's thoughts about what was actually happening in her mind as she was drinking, and I think Harry would be more worried than that, so just little things. Your grammar was great, nothing wrong there.

8/10

~Lindsey

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good cant wait for more

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