Reading Reviews for His Fire
  
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by luv_addictGxJ His Fire

20th November 2008:
Awesome!! it was absolutely awesome i loved it so much! Haha! i really do love it!!!

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Review #2, by CCC His Fire

29th December 2007:
I was worried there for a moment. I'm glad I got my happy ending. : )

Author's Response: Yay for happy endings! =)

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Review #3, by draco malfoy lover719 His Fire

6th November 2007:
that was amazing. I love the writing style. I lover everything about it. Great Job! 10/10

Author's Response: Yay, I'm so glad =)

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Review #4, by njhill22 His Fire

6th September 2007:
This was a cute story. A little fluffy for my taste, but it was still written quite well. There was really only one grammatical error that I saw:

She told himself the spell had been badly aimed and she had meant to hit him.

I think you meant to put 'herself' instead of 'himself'. Otherwise I really liked how you incorporated this into the plot of the last two books (minus Harry of course, which by all means if fabulous with me) and I like how you were able to humanize Draco just like the rest of his family was in DH.


Author's Response: Yeah I've fixed that error as well as a couple of other things, but it's still being approved. I definitely do agree though, it is a very fluff-filled story haha, but hey, that's what I like ^^. Thanks for reviewing, I really really appreciate it!

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Review #5, by nana_banana_xx3 His Fire

6th September 2007:
Hey there Story (love your penname by the way). I've obviously come to review. :)

You've got a good strong opening here. I like how you started by talking about first impressions and how Ginny saw the world as divided into Death Eaters and Order Members. It reminded me of when Sirius expalined to Harry that that wasn't really the case. It shows the immiture side of Ginny, which I think is good to add to her list of flaws.

Honestly, I like the idea of Ginny/Draco, even though it's no where near canon. It's a difficult pairing to accomplish realistically. I think that has a lot to do with Malfoy characterization. That, for me, is one of the most difficult parts of writing fanfiction. I've the hardest time with Malfoy, but I've gotten a lot better at picking out things he wouldn't do. One thing I noticed about Draco in this story that seemed slightly OOC was when he was trying to convince Ginny that he wasn't like the rest of them. I think that, for who he was, he would have tried to convince her that he would have done it. He would never have said "I couldn't do it, don't you see?" That would prove he was weak, and if there was one thing he wanted to prove to everyone, it was his strength.

However, I can definitely see him falling in love. So, I'm glad that you had him upset about her leaving. I think that you could have made this a lot longer than you did. There a lot of details that you could have added and maybe a bit more description of their surroundings and emotions.

I feel like you ended rather abruptly. It was as though things just sort of randomly came together in the end. Things didn't flow as smoothly as they could have. You were rather blunt, and the kiss give me a very good visual.

You've got the potential to be a really great writer, sweetie. There are always things to be worked on though, so keep it up. Good luck! :)

nana_banana_xx3

Author's Response: Opening a story has always been a strong point of mine, but after that, everything just kind of goes downhill :/ I've never really been able to get the gist of Draco's personality just because in the books he's always only been, well, evil. I just wasn't sure about how to end this story either but I think you're right about adding emotions and the quick ending. Thanks for reviewing, I'm taking everything you said to heart!

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Review #6, by Shyanna His Fire

5th September 2007:
One noticeable error here, "She told himself the spell had...". I think it was meant to be 'herself'.

Outside of that this is very...fast? I don't know the word to describe this properly, so I guess I have to detail it haha. I wish you would have taken more time in your description, such as how they got together, or at least a reason.

Also possibly more reasoning behind his actions, "to protect my family" is rather a shallow excuse to betray the love of your life, at least without going into further detail. I also think perhaps seeing some of the thoughts going through Ginny's head during various points could help you out a bit.

Such as why she seemed to have gotten over her brothers death so quickly and initiated a romantic make-out session. It may not have been so fast in your head, but it was written as if barely a few days had passed, perhaps some emphasis on that would help as well.

For the most part however, your writing is very good; the story is descriptive and lively. As a whole very good! :)

Author's Response: First of all, thanks very much for reviewing so quickly! I agree that the story does move to quickly, and its something I've always had trouble with. I think it's because I take so long to plan out the story in my head that when I go to type it, it ends up being one big blur. I definitely do need to develop Draco's reasonings a bit, and I hadn't realized before how it seemed Ginny had gotten over the Battle of Hogwarts so quickly, but now I see it. Thanks very much for reviewing, you've been a big help! =)

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Review #7, by Life after death His Fire

4th September 2007:
Brilliant

Author's Response: Woot.

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Review #8, by pinklamp His Fire

3rd September 2007:
Oohh that was really intense! I liked reading this and am glad Ginny went to find Draco in the end! Great work.

Author's Response: Thanks I thought that was a good way to end the story. Glad you liked it!

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Review #9, by angel riddle His Fire

3rd September 2007:
omg! that was good! i never thought ginny had it in her to even do the killing curse. :D

Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you liked it!

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